Only Time

Chapter Seven

Harry sat back down behind his desk after letting James go on to the kitchens, Hikari a comforting weight in his lap.

"I wish he hadn't figured it out," Harry told the phoenix softly, who trilled in reply. "At least you're capable of undetectable Memory Charms...it's bad enough that Albus, Minerva, and Filius know, but they're adults and capable of understanding the full ramifications of time travel. James is young, and he was already so curious even though he must have known I wouldn't really be able to tell him anything, he could slip up and reveal me to someone..." Harry stopped talking as he realized that he was just trying to justify it to himself.

"Why does life have to have so many hard decisions?" Harry asked aloud, not expecting an answer, and not surprised when he didn't get one. He looked down and smiled softly, rubbing his knuckle gently on Hikari's head. The phoenix cuddled closer, pushing her head into Harry's hand, and Harry sighed.

"At least now I remember the Marauder's Map...almost can't believe I forgot about it, after having it for over four years now. Good thing Remus taught me that charm to disguise my name...now at least I won't have to deal with another confrontation with the Marauders...but you know, I really wish I could have just let James know...but that would have led to awkward questions that I just can't answer..." Harry sighed again.

"Not that I wouldn't have loved to answer all his questions," Harry admitted to himself. "I would have loved to warn him about what's going to happen...to have grown up with him and Mum, because dammit, I like them. And I wouldn't have been the Boy Who Lived...but then Voldemort would have taken so many more lives...and I can't be selfish. Telling them what's going to happen so that it doesn't would be selfish, so I can't...but I'd like to." Hikari reached up and nuzzled his cheek with her head, wordlessly assuring him that he was not alone.

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The next day, after Harry had finished his dinner and was just walking out the doors of the Great Hall, out of the corner of his eye he saw Sirius Black hurrying over to him from the Gryffindor table. He stopped just before the doors and waited for Sirius to reach him.

"Professor...?" Sirius asked hesitantly. Harry smiled reassuringly.

"Yes, Mr. Black?"

Sirius swallowed. "Can we talk somewhere?"

Harry raised an eyebrow. Why would Sirius want to talk to him alone? Or was it about those Imperius lessons? "Of course, Mr. Black. But won't your friends be missing you?"

Sirius shook his head. "I already finished my dinner and I've just been waiting for you to finish yours. I'll meet up with them in the common room later."

"Very well then; we'll go to my classroom," Harry said. He didn't want to bring one of James's friends to his office since last night in case there was some clue or something, so the classroom would be just as well. I don't care if I'm being paranoid, being paranoid has saved my life. Never mind that we're in Hogwarts and Voldemort isn't trying to get to me. Besides, the classroom's closer.

The two walked down the nearly empty corridors in silence. Every once in a while, Harry would glance at Sirius, but Sirius only looked straight ahead, a carefully blank expression on his face. Harry wondered what kind of thoughts were going around behind Sirius's blue eyes. Finally, they reached the classroom. Harry unlocked the door, opening it and waving his young student inside before going in himself and closing the door.

"What can I do for you, Mr. Black?" Harry asked politely after seating himself in his favorite spot, on the edge of the desk. Sirius remained standing, even after Harry's invitation to sit down.

"I was just wondering, Professor...when are we going to get to those anti-Imperius lessons? I just have this really odd feeling..." Sirius trailed off. Harry looked at him sharply, but Sirius, lost in his thoughts, didn't seem to notice.

"What feeling?" Harry prodded when Sirius didn't continue with his sentence.

"It's...kind of hard to explain," Sirius said slowly, as if searching for the best words. "It's just a feeling that I'm going to need to be able to throw off the Imperius curse, and soon, or something very, very bad could happen."

"Do you have any idea as to when 'soon' might be, Mr. Black?" Harry asked.

Sirius shook his head. "I think sometime within the next several years, but I'm not sure," he said, rubbing his forehead as if he had a headache. "But I'd like to be able to throw it off as soon as possible, just in case."

Harry nodded. "I understand, Mr. Black. Unfortunately, tonight there's a staff meeting, in..." he looked at his watch "...about ten minutes. How about we meet here tomorrow night at eight?"

Sirius nodded. "That would be fine. Thank you, Professor," he said, granting Harry a brief smile before heading out the door. Harry sat and watched him go, thinking about what Sirius had just said.

Was Sirius some sort of a Seer? The Sirius he'd known hadn't exhibited any such traits, but he'd only met his godfather a few times before his death, and they'd never really had time to talk, just talk. But if Sirius was a Seer, then how had he not Seen Peter's betrayal and his own imprisonment? Harry shook his head in confusion. I don't suppose I'll ever understand the Sight, Harry thought. I'll just be glad I don't have it. Things would have been bad enough without seeing the future, especially with Voldemort already trying to feed me visions. Well, he decided, if Sirius is some sort of Seer, I'll just have to wait and see if he gets anything more. Then we can do something.

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The next class Harry had with the seventh year Gryffindors and Slytherins was also the first time Harry had seen James since the night he found out. Harry sat behind his desk as he waited almost apprehensively for the Head Boy to come in, but he found that he needn't have worried. James walked in, talking and laughing with his friends, and sat down at his customary desk showing no signs of knowing anything different about his teacher. Harry breathed a quick sigh of relief and looked around, noting that so far, only Snape was still missing. When he went to the door and looked in the hallway, seeing no sign of Snape, he just shrugged and turned back. Out of the corner of his eye he thought he saw Remus Lupin watching him, but when he looked straight at the seventh year prefect, he saw Remus joking around with Sirius.

The bell rang, and Snape still hadn't appeared, but Harry decided to start class anyway. "I assigned you your for homework assignment two weeks ago," Harry said. "It's due today, but does anyone have any questions?"

A blond Slytherin boy raised his hand, and Harry nodded to him. "Ah, Professor," he began, speaking nervously, "I know you said we had to come up with ways to use each spell in a Defense situation, but what if there's a spell you can't?"

"Every spell can be used in a battle situation," Harry replied. "What spell were you having trouble with?"

"Well, the Cheering Charm, sir," the Slytherin answered. "I just don't understand how a spell used to make people more cheerful could help in the middle of a battle."

Harry looked over the rest of the class. "Did anyone else come up with a use for the Cheering Charm?" he asked, and Lily Evans raised her hand. "Miss Evans."

"You can use it to distract your opponents," Lily said, lowering her hands. "During battles, people have to concentrate on what they're casting. If you cast a Cheering Charm on someone, they're too busy being happy and cheerful to keep their mind on the battle."

"Good job, Miss Evans. Five points to Gryffindor," Harry said, and Lily smiled.

"Okay, but what about transfigurations?" one of Lily's friends asked. "How can being able to transfigure something help in a fight?"

"Does anyone want to answer this?" Harry asked. Nobody raised their hand, but just as Harry was about to continue, the door burst open and Snape walked in, smirking.

"Ah, Mr. Snape. So good of you to finally grace us with your presence," Harry said. "Mind telling us why you are late?"

"I was talking to Professor Brewster," Snape said promptly, naming the Slytherin Head of House and Potions teacher. Harry crossed his arms.

"Did Professor Brewster provide you with a pass?" he asked, and Snape lost his smirk, shaking his head. "Well then, ten points from Slytherin, Mr. Snape. Please let Professor Brewster know that the next time he wants to detain one of my students, he's going to have to provide the student with a pass back to class proving that student was actually with him. Does anyone care to tell Mr. Snape what we were just discussing?"

"We were talking about that first homework," Sirius volunteered, smirking at Snape. Snape looked sour at being told what was going on by Sirius. "Professor Patterson was just about to tell us how we can effectively use transfigurations in a battle situation."

"Unless Mr. Snape would like to answer that for me, of course," Harry cut in courteously, but Snape shook his head, scowling. "No? Well then, transfigurations can be useful in that they can give you the element of surprise. Does anyone know what I mean?"

"Oh!" James exclaimed, and everyone looked at him. "I understand! If you transfigure something into an animal or something, then have the animal attack! No one would expect something like that."

"Very creative plan, Mr. Potter. Five points to Gryffindor," Harry praised, and James looked smug. "Any other ideas?"

"It doesn't even have to be an animal," Snape said suddenly, and James glared at him. Snape gave him a frosty glare back, and continued. "You can transfigure something into a physical weapon. Most wizards expect to be attacked magically and are usually unprepared to deal with a physical attack."

"Very good, Mr. Snape. Five points to Slytherin," Harry said, and now Snape looked smug. James and Sirius glared at him, but ignored him other than that. "Does anyone have any other questions or concerns dealing with this homework?"

Remus raised his hand, and Harry nodded at him. He lowered it and said, "Ah, Professor, are we going to be getting this back soon? I mean, as I learn more spells I'd like to add them to this list. It seems like a very good way to prepare for N.E.W.T.s."

Harry smiled at Remus. Ever the studious one, aren't you, Professor Lupin? You don't have anything to worry about, Harry thought fondly about his favorite Defense professor. "I will be getting them back to you as soon as possible, Mr. Lupin. It was my aim to have this assignment be a way to help you study for N.E.W.T.s, as well as to get you in a proper mindset for defending yourself once you leave school, if you're ever in a position where you need to defend yourself. It would also likely help you if you keep adding spells this year as you learn them. But I can't promise you any specific dates for when I get it back to you, just that I'll try and make it as soon as possible."

"That's good. Thank you, Professor," Remus said, nodding thoughtfully.

"Anything else?" Harry asked. Nobody said anything, so Harry collected the assignment and left it in a pile on his desk. "Now for the rest of this class period, I want you to read chapters one through five in your textbook, with summaries of each chapter to be handed in to me next class." Harry sat down, and the class got to work.

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"This is really hard!" Sirius complained, flopping down in a chair out of the way of the cleared circle of desks and closing his eyes. Harry watched him brush his hair out of his face. It was about the third time that Sirius had unsuccessfully tried to fight the Imperius.

"It is," Harry agreed. "But I told you it would be. Practically the only thing harder than shaking off the Imperius is shaking off the Cruciatus."

Sirius eyed his professor dubiously. "Is...are you speaking from...personal experience?" Sirius asked hesitantly, as he obviously remembered how Harry had brushed off Snape when he asked nearly the same thing.

Harry sighed, perching on the edge of his desk again. "I am," he said quietly, "but I'd rather you didn't go bandying that about. I'd rather most people didn't know of some of my...talents."

"But why?" Sirius asked. "I mean, wouldn't it be an advantage, to be known as powerful enough to shake off Unforgivables?"

Harry smiled thinly. "First of all, power has nothing to do with it. I could be a Squib and it's possible that I could shake off the Imperius and Cruciatus. It's not magical power that helps you defy these curses, it's will power that's the key. The Imperius is easier because you just have to work through that peaceful feeling. With the Cruciatus, you have to ignore the most excruciating pain you've ever felt in your life. And unlike with other pain curses, the level of pain the Cruciatus holds you at does not subside as time goes on. It stays the same, or even increases, until the curse is lifted. Working through that level of pain is not something many people can do."

"Hunh," Sirius said, considering a bit. "That makes sense, I suppose. What's second of all?"

Harry grinned. "If someone doesn't know my abilities, then they can underestimate me. It's so much easier to get away from Voldemort if he's underestimating you."

Sirius's eyes grew wide. "You got away from You-Know-Who?" he whispered, impressed. Harry snickered, to Sirius's obvious surprise. If his eyes get any wider, they'll pop right out of his head!

"It was over a year ago the last time I escaped, but he never seems to understand that I can work through whatever curse he throws at me," Harry explained. "And call him Voldemort, Sirius. Every time you flinch from his name, he wins just a little bit more."

"Yes sir," Sirius replied, blinking. Harry knew Sirius could do it; he said the name in his own time, and he'd said it back when Harry first offered these lessons. Harry knew it was only a matter of time before Sirius really lost his fear of the name, so until then, they would work on this as well as the Imperius.

"So say it for me," Harry said, grinning and crossing his arms over his chest.

"Sir?" Geez, it's weird to be thought of as 'Sir'. Wonder if I should break that habit...nah, need to promote respect for professors and all that...oh well. At least he's here with me now...

"Say 'Voldemort' for me, Sirius," Harry said patiently, pushing all thoughts of his godfather gone to the back of his mind, concentrating only on this Sirius. "It's not that hard."

"But..." Sirius shot a pleading look at Harry, but Harry ignored it. He needs to learn, and there's no other way to learn this lesson than to do it.

"Just think of this as building up your will," Harry suggested. "If you can force yourself to say Voldemort consistently, then you'll be increasing your will power."

"Right." Now Sirius had a familiar determined look in his eyes. He took a deep breath. "V-Voldemort."

Harry grinned, proud of his student. "Good. Now say it again."

"Voldemort." This time without hesitation or stuttering. Harry got that happy feeling of accomplishment in his chest again, and knew again that being a teacher was worth it, even looking at this determined young man and knowing what would happen to him just several years from now.

"Speaking of throwing off curses..." Sirius said suddenly, "I think Remus would benefit from these lessons. I mean, what with his...wait. You do know about his problem, right? Dumbledore told you, right?" Sirius was clearly afraid that he had betrayed Remus again, and Harry was glad to allay his fears.

"His lycanthropy, you mean?" Harry asked, and Sirius nodded, relieved. Harry bit his lip, thinking. "That...might be a good idea. It would be...good for him to know that some things can be fought, even against all odds. Good idea, Sirius."

"Thank you, sir," Sirius said, grinning. "I'm sure Remus will love the idea. He's always hated the thought of losing control. That's why he wasn't very enthusiastic with your Imperius lesson in class. But I know that if he can learn to throw it off too, he won't be so afraid of himself anymore."

"That's some very good insight, Sirius. I'll approach Remus later about studying with us. Now..." Harry said, jumping off his desk and holding out his wand, "...back to work!" Sirius groaned.

"Yes, sir," he grumbled good-naturedly. "Whatever you say." He stood up and went into the center of the cleared desks, waiting for Harry to cast the curse on him again. And when it came, Sirius fought it, keeping everything his professor said in mind. Harry knew, with the kind of determination that Sirius had, he would soon have no problem getting rid of the Imperius, no matter how strong the caster.