Metamorphoses

Metamorphoses

Chapter 1: Beginnings

If primary school taught Severus anything, it was that his sole role in life was to be the unchosen one. Always the odd one without a study partner, the last to get drafted for teams, the little kid stuck at the back of the class without a seatmate.

But this, he had to admit, was too much.

"No, no, not that one either. Here, try this one," Mr. Ollivander said, handing Severus another wand.

Severus was getting frustrated. He could not remember how many wands this man had already made him try. He did not know what he was doing wrong -- he tried scrunching his face up and concentrating, ridding his mind of thought, holding his breath, even closing his eyes, but nothing seemed to work.

It did not help that the boy who came before him had found a match ("Oak and moonflower pollen. Eight and a half inches") on his first try. The boy did not look too happy with the wand he got, though. He only cast one distasteful glance at it before tucking it inside his robes reluctantly. Maybe he wished for one containing part of a dangerous magical creature; most boys did.

I don't care if I get one containing goblin nail clippings, as long as I get a wand. He sighed. He had already tried all the wands from the first and second batch, and the storekeeper had gone to the back to get more.

Severus fidgeted with his starched gray robes, balling random sections of coarse fabric in his fists. The shop where his mother dumped him into -- Ollivander's: Makers of Fine Wands Since 382 B.C. -- was dimly lit, hot, and, Severus thought, a little on the creepy side. Severus was more than a little apprehensive about being alone in such a forbidding place. Still, he was glad his mother was not here to witness his difficulty getting matched with a wand. (Severus, dear, she would say, pale-faced, mouth set in a thin line, flicking her hair to one side. Her eyes would narrow at him, as if willing him to sprout wings and breathe fire, or else transform into what she imagined her son should be.)

Being alone here is better, Severus thought. Infinitely better.

"Would you like a chocolate?" said a soft voice from a corner of the wand shop.

Severus blinked, and turned to look. It was the small boy who just got his wand earlier. Severus had not realized that he had stayed. He sat on one of the high-backed spindly chairs, nicely blending in with his surroundings in threadbare green robes and scuffed brown leather boots almost worn off at each toe. One of his hands was held up, offering a bunch of three-for-a-knut chocolate Squeerrific Squares.

Severus did not move. Were the chocolates hexed? It was impossible to hex with training wands, however, and the boy did not have enough time to learn to cast spells with his new wand yet. Perhaps they were tainted with some potion? Severus already had some success brewing minor malicious draughts in secret, but he was quite sure other students his age could not do anything more than the simple cleaning mixtures they were taught in school.

"Here, have some," the boy encouraged, "they help me settle down, when I'm nervous."

Oh what the hell, Severus thought. The boy was eating the chocolates himself, so they were probably safe. Besides, Severus would feel much better having someone to talk to in this place. Oh, admit it Severus, he said to himself, you're intrigued. Not many people will talk to you when they don't have to.

He approached the boy, allowing himself to smile a little, and took a cube from the boy's outstretched hand. "Thank you," he said.

Carefully tearing off the chocolate's flimsy wrapping, he peeked at the boy from the corner of his eye. The boy was ordinary -- rumpled light brown hair, brown eyes. He was not as small as Severus first thought, though. Actually, he was probably a few centimeters taller than Severus was. He only looked small because of his frail build and unassuming manner.

"I'm waiting here for my mum and dad. Is it your first year at Hogwarts, too?" the boy asked, and when Severus nodded, continued, "I'm so excited to see the castle in person. Say, did you get your books yet?"

"Yes."

"Hogwarts: A History has many good photographs of the castle grounds. I haven't seen anything more incredible! I can't wait to get there..."

"Er, I don't remember getting that book," Severus replied. Like the other boy, Severus had never been to Hogwarts, but he had not thought much about it. He was not excited about going. He did not like school, and would rather have private tutors, or study by himself.

"Oh, it's not on the list. But it's really good! Loads of stuff about Hogwarts. Oh, and you know what, my parents didn't even think I'd get invited. Imagine how surprised I was when I got the letter," the boy said.

"I was surprised when I got mine, too," Severus lied. The truth was, everyone took it for granted that he would get into Hogwarts. His parents would have disowned him if he had not received an invitation. He wondered why the boy's parents thought he would not get in. Maybe he's almost a Squib, he thought, and mentally shook his head. Squibs do not get matched with wands that quickly.

"My name's Remus, by the way. Remus Lupin," the boy introduced, offering his right hand, the one without all the chocolates, for a handshake.

"Severus Snape. Nice to meet you," Severus replied, wiping his hand on his robe before extending it to the other boy.

"Would you look at that. We both have Dead Greek People names. Is it destiny, do you think?" Remus said.

"It's Roman, actually," Severus corrected him.

He never really understood why Remus almost fell off his chair laughing at what he said.

Just then, Mr. Ollivander came back with about a dozen dust-covered, cobwebby boxes. "Here we are," he said, taking his time to lay the boxes in a neat row on the countertop.

Severus looked around, trying not to watch the storekeeper at his task. He was relieved to discover that he was breathing more easily now, and his hands were remaining unclenched at his sides. Amazingly, the shop seemed a little brighter, and not as scary. Remus's light-heartedness must be contagious, he thought. Severus hoped the boy's luck with the wands was catching as well. He would be the laughingstock of his class if he had to bring his old primary school training wand to Hogwarts.

"All right, then. These are some of our older stock," Mr. Ollivander explained, giving Severus his full attention once again. His eyes then went round as Quidditch hoops, as if he just had a great idea. "Let's see... Why don't YOU choose which one you want to try first," he suggested, nodding encouragingly at Severus.

Severus considered the boxes, and pointed at the leftmost one. Better go about this methodically, he thought, I'd probably go through all these wands anyway.

The storekeeper opened the box and handed him the wand inside. "Now, give it a wave," he prodded.

Severus glanced at Remus, who gave him a confident smile and a nod. He took the wand, and almost dropped it in surprise. It was hot! Before he can do anything, a sudden burst from the tip covered the whole room with a rain of tiny multicolored lights.

"Extraordinary," Mr. Ollivander said, looking intently at Severus, who found himself staring, mesmerized, as the tiny orbs slowly blinked out one by one. "Mahogany and Wishing-Well water. Ten and a quarter inches. Sturdy, excellent for Potions work."

Severus let the man's voice wash over him as he studied his wand, reveling at the warmth its smooth surface radiated onto his hands. He held it close to his chest, and felt the wand vibrate in time with his heartbeat. "I'll take care of you very well," he whispered to it. He thought he felt the wand welcoming him.

Mr. Ollivander had rambled on; "...Only that one wand has ever held the great power of the magic water without getting destroyed by it. And, now that the Wishing Well has dried out, it is the only one that ever will. Quite thrilling, too, that it has only now found a compatible wizard, after more than 300 years of waiting."

"Indeed, Ollivander?" a familiar silky voice cut in, "Everyone knows how special the Snapes are. Did you really expect my dear Severus to be any different?"

Mr. Ollivander lifted his head and beamed at the new arrival. "Your son has potential, Madame Madeleine," he said, straightening his glasses on his nose, and finger-brushing his hopelessly-tangled gray hair.

The woman smiled, her slightly pointed nose angled to the ceiling, head somewhat tilted to the side, apparently appeased. She nodded once at the storekeeper, before setting her deep black eyes on her son. "Severus, dear, are you ready to go? We need to pick up your school robes."

"Just a minute, Mother," Severus replied. He left her at the counter paying Mr. Ollivander for his wand, and walked over to Remus.

"Hey, you sort of look like your mum. She's very pretty," Remus said.

Severus shrugged and glanced briefly at his mother, hoping she had not heard. She was in a strangely good mood (probably because of the wand), which was rare for her. Severus was glad her attention was focused on the storekeeper when Remus made the observation. Talk about her son taking after her always made her irritable, which, Severus believed, was perfectly understandable. Where his mother's night-dark hair was like black silk, Severus's was dull and oily; his mother's slightly pointed nose looked like a hawk's beak on Severus's small face; and while her pale skin seemed to glow like soft moonlight, on Severus it only seemed the sallow color of flesh on dead fish.

"Er, I have to go. Thanks for the chocolates," he said to Remus. He shuffled his feet. He should say something more; he did not want to leave just yet. He could ask Remus to go with them to Madam Malkin's, but he was sure his mother would not approve. She did not have much patience with children. Even Severus himself knew he was only barely tolerated.

"Don't worry. I'll see you at the train station tomorrow, right?" Remus said.

"Yes, of course," Severus replied, surprised that the boy could read him so well.

"Right on!" Remus exclaimed, giving Severus two thumbs-up signs.

"Hurry up, dear, or we'll be late," Severus heard his mother call out.

"Yes, Mother," he answered, smiling apologetically at Remus before slowly following his mother out of the shop.

Dragging his feet, Severus shot one backward glance at Ollivander's. Through the window, he could see Remus waving happily at him. He waved back and gave the other boy a small grin. He could not wait to meet Remus again for the train ride to Hogwarts tomorrow. He felt silly, but it was suddenly possible that maybe, just maybe, the new school would not turn out so bad, after all.

***

Severus got to King's Cross station forty-five minutes early the next day, but it seemed like he was not nearly early enough. Platform nine and three-quarters was already packed with wizards.

As Severus settled down on his seat in the train, he looked out the window to study the students milling about outside -- the younger ones bidding last minute farewells to their family, the older ones horsing around with friends they had not seen all summer. Unlike them, Severus had gone straight into the train. His mother had left after sending him off through the barrier between platforms nine and ten, and he saw no need to stand around outside looking lost and alone.

He had kept an eye out for Remus as he dragged his trunk through the train, looking for a place to sit. There was a group of what looked like first years clustered in one of the middle compartments, watching a boy do funny magic tricks, but Severus was uncomfortable in crowds. He moved on until he reached the compartment at the end of the train, which, in his experience, was usually empty.

Severus watched the people outside until the whistle blew, and only the parents and little children were left on the platform. He had not seen Remus outside, either. He was probably already in one of the compartments Severus had not looked into.

"Well, Cat, I suppose we're off to Hogwarts," he said, addressing the blue cat seated demurely on the seat opposite his.

"Meowr," it answered, watching him with serious blue eyes.

When the train started moving, Severus debated with himself whether or not to go out and look for Remus. He did not want to come off as being too needy, but he did not want to start at another school without any friends again, either. It would be seven years before he leaves this one, and that was a long time to spend with just himself and his cat. "Severus, you git, go out there and meet people," he whispered to himself.

Maybe later, he thought, losing his nerve almost at once.

Just then, the compartment door slid open, and a familiar brown-haired head poked in.

"Oh! There you are. Been looking all over for you," Remus said, smiling. "Remember me? We met yesterday at the wand shop."

Severus nodded, using all his willpower to stop himself from jumping up and down and dancing around the small compartment with glee. "You're Remus," he said. As if he could forget!

"Hey, nice cat," Remus said. Severus's cat had jumped off the seat, and was rubbing against Remus's feet.

"Cat! You're shameless," Severus said, moving to take his cat from Remus.

"It's alright," Remus said, waving Severus away. "Hang on there, I'll go get my stuff." He took Cat and plopped her back on the seat. "Uh, if it's okay if I sit here, that is," he added with an embarrassed grin. "Seeing as this compartment is quite filled," he said playfully, gesturing at the empty seats.

Severus smiled. "Hmm. I don't know.... I'm sure Cat wouldn't mind sharing her seat with you," he said.

"Meowr," Cat said, jumping off the seat to rub against Remus's feet again. Remus laughed.

"Need help with your trunk?" Severus asked.

"Actually, yes, I do need help with my things," Remus said, scratching his head, "Mum tends to go overboard packing."

The boys were huffing and puffing when, at last, they managed to stack the last of Remus's trunks on a corner.

"You weren't fibbing when you said your Mum packed too much," Severus said, wheezing, "there must be enough in those trunks to last you all seven years of school."

Remus laughed. "Sorry about that. My clothes tend to get worn out faster than normal."

Severus wanted to ask why that was, but the door slid open once again. Two boys entered, saying hello to Remus and asking him if he brought any chocolates. Remus passed out a handful of chocolates from one of his pockets, and introduced the two boys to Severus: the pudgy, pasty-faced one was called Peter; the taller boy with golden curls was Anthony. Remus said he had met them at Diagon Alley the other day as well.

At first, Severus tried to join in the conversation, but there was only so much he can say about The Magic Lanterns and Herman's Hermits (he could not even tell one Rock n' Troll band from the next). Finding himself bored and out of place in the group, he excused himself finally, saying he was hungry, and squeezed out with his cat in tow.

It did not take long for him to find the food trolley. He was not really hungry, but he bought several boxes of Chocolate Frogs (for Remus, who was probably running out of his chocolate supply by now), a couple of boxes Bertie Bott's Every Flavour Beans, and some sweetcakes. He considered finding another compartment to hide in for the time being, but decided to just return to his. There would not be any more empty compartments, anyway.

He was balancing his sweets and keeping an eye on Cat, so he did not see the large boy barreling towards him until it was too late.

"Watch out, Nancy-boy!"

Severus heard the warning just a split second before a large weight crashed onto him and sent him sprawling to the floor. His chocolates and pastries were flung everywhere.

"Oops. Sorry," the boy said, leaning lazily on the wall with his arms folded across his chest. He did not sound sorry at all. He did not offer to help Severus get up, either.

Another boy arrived at the scene, also at a run. "Give me back my glasses, you useless git," he said.

The bully whirled around to face the other boy. "Not before you admit you're in love with that green-eyed girl," he teased.

"Oh, quit fooling around, dogface."

"Lily and James, floating on the Bree, K-I-S-S---"

"Now you're really gonna get it," the one apparently called James said, snatching his glasses from the bully and lightly bapping him over the head with his wand. They continued to horse around, unmindfully stepping on some of Severus's Chocolate Frogs.

It took several moments before James seemed to notice Severus. He turned to him, and asked, "Do you need any help, boy?"

"Yeah, do you need any help, Nancy-boy?" the bully piped in. Both boys burst into explosive laughter.

"Sorry, I don't talk to disembodied heads," Severus answered, looking down at the two. The boys looked at each other, saw each other's heads rolling on the floor, and screamed.

So, who's laughing now?

"...I think he's gone mental," the bully said, bringing Severus back from his own thoughts. Severus shook his head furiously, but did not speak. He stood up, picked up as many of the sweets as he could carry, and walked away. He was shaking with a cold rage, angry not only with the boys, but also with himself, for being such a pushover.

Someday, no one can do this to me, he thought. Someday. And those bloody sods better watch their backs...

***

When Severus got back to his compartment, Remus was alone. "Here," he said, dumping the sweets unceremoniously onto the boy's lap. He sat down heavily, and faced the window.

"Hey, what happened to you?" Remus asked.

"Nothing," Severus replied, hoping the other boy would let up. He was not in the mood for people at that moment.

"Okaaay," Remus said slowly, "Well, how about some chocolates, then? They help cheer me up, when I'm feeling down."

"Oh? Weren't they supposed to take away your nervousness?" Severus snapped, still refusing to look at Remus.

"Well, yes. That, too. They also help me cure my headaches, study for tests, tame blue cats," -- Severus could feel Remus moving closer -- "AND, they help me make my friends smile," Remus finished, playfully dangling Chocolate Frogs in front of Severus's nose.

Severus lasted a full second trying to maintain his stony face, before his laughter exploded to the surface. Damn the boy, he thought, clutching at his sides to control his laughing fits. "Fine, then!" he said with mock irritability, plucking a Frog from Remus's hand.

They were opening up the last pack of sweets when the whistle blew, signaling their arrival at the Hogsmeade station.

***

Next Chapter: The Sorting Hat, giant mollusks, bullies, giant mollusks, some Remus POV, and more of the ever-popular giant mollusks.