War and Passion

Chapter Eleven
The Morning After

Harry tilted his head up to look at the early morning sky. It was still dark outside but he could see the slight traces of morning in the subtle grayness cast on the horizon. He looked back at Ginny where she lay across his chest. His heart hurt at the thought of returning to a world where he’d once again be forced to fake indifference towards her. How he was going to manage it after the night they had shared together was beyond him. In fact, he was pretty sure it was going to be damn near impossible.

Ginny stirred as if sensing his restlessness. She looked up at him and his heart clenched a little tighter. She was so beautiful. The signs of the passion they had shared were written plainly on her face. It showed in her lips, still swollen from his kisses, her rosy cheeks, her brown eyes that glowed in serene happiness. The real world could wait. Harry wasn’t quite ready for the morning.

“Come here,” he sighed as he pulled her up until her face was level with his.

“It’s almost morning. We should head back,” she said without conviction as she looked down at him.

“Not yet.”

He wrapped his arms firmly around her and swept her beneath him as he rolled over. He reached up to brush a few stray strands of hair away from her face. Her legs instinctively wrapped around him as he let his forehead fall against hers and took a deep breath. He wanted one last time, but he was stopped short. It felt too much like a goodbye. He couldn’t face it. He was going to have to let her go again. Only this time he’d be twice as haunted. He’d know exactly what he was missing.

“I love you,” he mumbled with another deep breath.

“What’s wrong?” Ginny asked with concern. Her fingers laced through his hair and she lifted his head to look at him more carefully.

Probing brown eyes met tortured green ones. Her eyes widened when she realized why he was suddenly so miserable.

“No, Harry, I won’t let you do this. Can you honestly look at me and say you WANT to be away from me?” Ginny questioned in horror as she looked up at Harry.

“No, of course not. It’s killing me. It’s been killing me for a long time. I want nothing more than to be you,” Harry sighed.

“Then be with me.”

“It’s not that simple. If Voldemort ever found out about us, he’d stop at nothing to capture you,” Harry said in a pained voice, almost choking on the words.

“I’m already a target. Two of my brothers are War Mages, famous ones at that,” Ginny argued softly as she looked up at him with pleading eyes.

“I know that. Believe me, I’ve thought about it. But, if they found out about my feelings for you, you could easily become the most hunted person in England. With one person they could get me, Ron and Charlie. They’d do anything for that and I do mean anything. Voldemort wants revenge for what happened at the station, I can feel it. . . literally.” Harry rubbed his scar briefly. He hadn’t told anyone about it, but it had been bothering him since he woke up at the hospital.

“We could keep it a secret,” she whispered.

“You don’t want that. To be sneaking around all the time. To be constantly worried about being found out.”

“Don’t tell me what I want or don’t want! I noticed you didn’t mind having a secret relationship with Cho,” Ginny hissed as her eyes flashed with anger and her cheeks flooded with color.

“I know I’m a prat, okay. It was different with Cho. I wasn’t in love with her. It was easy to pretend that we weren’t involved.” Harry rolled off of Ginny and threw an arm over his eyes as a sickening feeling of guilt flooded through him.

“So that’s it. You’re just going to make me live without you instead? After last night, you’re just going to walk away?” Ginny questioned as she laid next to Harry and tried to blink away the tears that were threatening to flood out at any moment.

“I have no choice. You know this. You know all of it. Did you think it would change because of last night? I have made some daft decisions in my life, but I’ll be damned if I’m going to watch you get killed because I can’t keep my hands off you. I don’t care how spectacular the sex is, nothing’s worth that!” Harry said passionately as he lifted his arm to turn and look at her.

“You’re a coward! That’s what you are, a big bloody coward! Do you know how many times I thought YOU were going to die? Did you ever ONCE stop to wonder how I feel knowing that you could get killed any day? You think you’re being so brave by staying away and protecting me, but it’s a lie. You’re just afraid to face what I face every single day!” Ginny yelled as she jumped up, naked as a sprite, to stand over him.

Harry could only look up at her in dumb shock. As if his sins against Ginny weren't enough, he had failed to realize what it must have cost her to fall in love with him. His life was always on the line, death was always a heart beat away for him. He’d grown so used to it, he’d never stopped to consider how it effected her. He would have never been able to cope, had the rolls been reversed.

“I’m sorry, Ginny,” he gasped when he was finally able to speak again.

“You’re awfully fond of saying that, Harry,” Ginny whispered as she looked past him and felt the tears roll down her face, despite herself.

Harry sprang to his feet and pulled her into his arms. He leaned down to place a kiss on her head as his hands ran soothingly up and down her bare back. How many times was he going to make her cry? He couldn’t believe he was being forced into this situation. It was horribly unfair for both of them. He hated Voldemort with a renewed vengeance. He was in danger of turning into the manic Ron could be when it came to killing Voldemort’s followers. At that moment, he could have taken out a whole army of Death Eaters and not looked back.

“Are you really going to leave me, Harry? Are you going to find some other girl. . . another Cho?” Ginny mumbled against his chest as she continued to cry.

“I think you effectively ended that option. No other girl could ever compare to you, so why bother?” Harry said softly as he tilted her head up to look at him.

“What about me? Am I suppose to live like a nun, hoping one day you’ll come back to me in one piece?” Ginny said with some of her old spice back.

Harry closed his eyes for a second. He brought Ginny’s head back to his chest and rested his head on top of it. He couldn’t let her go back to Colin, or worse, find someone else. It hadn’t even happened yet, and the jealousy was already flowing through him. Other thoughts filtered through his mind, as well. Would he really be able to stay away? Realistically, the answer was probably no. He had no doubts about her abilities to leave him breathless. He’d seen examples of it all night long. They knew each other intimately now and it left Ginny with infinite possibilities for seduction. He realized that all of this was an exercise in futility. All he was doing at this point was upsetting both of them when it was almost a sure bet he’d give in again. Harry cupped her face in both of his hands, tilting her head up to look at him.

“Okay, we’ll keep it a secret,” Harry sighed in defeat.

“Really?” Ginny questioned as her eyes lit up.

“Yes, it would be a real waste to have you live like a nun,” Harry said with a half smile. “Almost a sin, in my opinion.”

“It will be fine, you’ll see. I’ll be fine,” Ginny chimed happily as she wiped some of the tears off her face.

Harry felt a small shiver despite her reassurances. He had no right to love her, or ask for her love in return, but he’d done it. It was daft, reckless, and utterly impossible to deny. He was powerless against it. He just hoped that by some miracle they were able to survive the monstrous obstacles that lay mounted before them. He had never prayed harder that Ginny was right, because he was under no disillusions. Love stories didn’t always have happy endings.

He looked up to the sky and saw the faint pink glow on the horizon. The sun would be rising soon. The Weasleys would be waking up. Ron would be returning to his room to prevent discovery of his own nocturnal activities. If Harry was being himself he’d insist that they head back right now.

Except, Harry wasn’t being himself.

He let his hands trail slowly up Ginny’s back and closed his eyes as the feel of her smooth skin sent darts of white hot desire through his body. Ginny pushed away from him softly, and he opened his eyes to look at her. She took a sharp breath at the look he was giving her.

“We have to head back, Harry, “ she gasped as he leaned down to capture her lips.

It was a hard, searing kiss. His tongue didn’t ask for entry into her mouth, it took it forcibly. But, still she resisted, pushing away once more to look at him.

“Ron. . . Ron will find out,” she pleaded with a ragged breath.

“I don’t really care,” Harry growled as he let his hand slide to her lower back, pushing her hard against him.

She gave a small moan of pleasure at the contact of their lower bodies. Ginny was a reckless and passionate person by nature. She was easy to convince. They were both naked and the feeling of skin against skin was suddenly acutely noticeable to both of them. Ginny’s hands sank into his raven hair, tugging it lightly as she pulled his mouth back to hers. Sanity left Harry completely as he felt Ginny’s tongue brush lightly against his lips then dart into his mouth. She was bold and fearless, it had caused him a multitude of problems over the years, but at that moment he wouldn’t have changed that side of her for anything in the world. One hand remained laced in his hair, but the other slid over his chest and across his contoured abdominal muscles, to grasp his arousal firmly, causing him to groan against her mouth. Harry’s hands were everywhere, brushing the over her taunt nipples, running over the smooth plain of her stomach, gliding over the curve of her hips.

They may have been mindless, but the gradual light of the rising sun was hard to ignore. They were almost frantic as they fell to their knees, then to the blanket. Ginny’s legs wrapped around him and her hips arched upwards to brush herself intimately against him. It was all the urging Harry needed. Ginny’s head fell back and a low moan escaped her as he entered her. His lips rained light kisses across her jaw line and down to her throat. Her legs wrapped more firmly around him, her fingers trailed across his back and shoulders, her hips moved in rhythm with his. Ginny’s actions could drag the most primitive of responses from Harry and he surrendered himself to them. His movements in and out of her were hard and forceful, yet, his hoarse whispers against her ear were loving. The songs of the birds rising from their nighttime slumbers blended with Ginny’s cries of pleasure as Harry sent her hurtling over the edge. He felt her nails tear into the flesh of his back while her body convulsed around him, and Harry’s world shattered into a molten fire of pleasure as his release slammed into him with startling force.

They didn’t have the luxury of laying in each others arms in the aftermath of their love making. Harry almost immediately rolled off of Ginny and got up to look for his clothes which had been discarded hours earlier. They didn’t speak as they dressed to head back. Harry shrunk the blanket and lantern with the wave of a hand as Ginny waited from him. He dropped them in his pocket then grabbed Ginny’s hand to pull her towards the Burrow. She paused to look back one last time.

“We’ll come back,” Harry said reassuringly then pulled her once more towards the house.

They walked briskly through the forest. The whole sky was lit up in a brilliant sunrise and their time was most definitely up. They made it to the Burrow in record time. They paused in the yard and Ginny took a deep breath as she looked at the house that held her sleeping family.

“It’s done now, Ginny, no sense worrying about it,” Harry said with a half smile as he looked at her nervous face.

“I don’t regret it,” she sighed.

“Me either.”

Harry pulled her close one last time and kissed her lightly.

“”I love you, Harry,” she murmured against his lips.

“I love you, too.” Harry pulled away and started towards the back door.

Ginny was right behind him as he opened the door and headed into the house. Harry paused to make sure no one was around then headed towards the staircase that lead to the bedrooms. He stopped dead before the first step, causing Ginny to run into him. He wasn’t the only one who had stopped. He watched the red head’s eyes go wide in surprise at Harry’s presence then narrow suddenly at Ginny’s behind him.

“Go upstairs, Ginny,” Charlie growled as looked down at them.

Harry broke eye contact with Charlie long enough to turn and look at Ginny. She looked visibly shaken, but her eyes flashed in anger.

“I’m not a little girl. You can’t order me around. If you have a problem, you can talk to both of us,” she hissed at Charlie.

“Get upstairs, now!” Charlie said in a voice that held barely contained anger.

“No.” Ginny crossed her arms over her chest as she stepped around Harry to look straight at her brother.

Charlie walked down the remaining stairs and stopped in front of the two of them. He purposely avoided looking at Harry as he glared at Ginny.

“Mum will be up soon. Do you want her to know about this? I think she’s had a hard enough week, don’t you?”

Harry could feel some of Ginny’s resolve break. He certainly didn’t want Mrs. Weasley to find out about it. Charlie was bad enough.

“Go, it’ll be okay,” Harry said as he turned to her.

“I don’t want to leave you,” she whispered as she looked at Charlie again, who was getting angrier by the second.

“I’ll be fine,” Harry sighed as he pushed Ginny towards the stairs.

Ginny nodded and brushed roughly past Charlie as she headed up the stairs. She turned to glare at him once more. “You better not hurt him.”

“What purpose would that serve? I think about my actions before I make them,” Charlie ground out, leaving the accusation of their own misjudgments lingering in the air.

Ginny nodded then gave Harry one last look of apology before she headed up the stairs.

“We need to talk. . .” Charlie said as he turned to Harry after Ginny disappeared over the second landing.

Harry followed Charlie into the kitchen and noticed his fists clenched in anger as he set to making coffee with the flick of his wand. He had his back to Harry and it was obvious he was trying to keep a hold of himself. Harry sat at the table and waited for Charlie to speak. Harry was a variable expert on Weasley tempers. He dealt with Ron’s everyday and Ginny’s on several occasions. He knew better than to jump on the defensive. It was a much better course of action to let them get it all out then deal with the problem.

It took a full five minutes for Charlie to finish with the coffee, thus settling himself down enough to dare speaking.

“Have some coffee, Harry. I’m sure you need it since it’s obvious you didn’t get much sleep last night,” Charlie waved his wand and sent a cup of coffee to Harry.

Harry wasn’t too fond of the stuff, but he could use it. He summoned the sugar with the wave of his hand. It was a deliberate move on his part. He wanted to remind Charlie that he was a powerful wizard. Harry knew that Charlie had every right to his anger, but he also wanted to let him know that he wasn’t some timid schoolboy either. Harry had survived far more than even Charlie, a fully trained War Mage, could ever imagine.

Harry put some sugar in his coffee and grimaced as he took a sip. It really was awful tasting stuff. Then he looked expectantly at Charlie.

“I’m trying to figure out what upsets me more. The fact that you shagged my baby sister or the fact that you did it outside where anyone could have come upon you,” Charlie said thoughtfully as he looked past Harry to a spot on the wall.

“I do have some abilities to defend myself. I think the risk was minimum,” Harry sighed as he took another sip of coffee.

“True, but that still leaves the fact that you slept with my sister up in the air, doesn’t it?”

“I love her. I’m not saying it as an excuse. It’s just the reason it happened.” Harry looked at Charlie and watched his shoulders slump slightly at the statement.

“I know you do. . . But, I was under the impression that you called it off with her to keep your feelings secret. We all knew how hard that was on both of you, but I do think it was a wise decision. Voldemort is a very real threat. But, you know that. . .”

“Yes, I know that.” Harry agreed in a pained voice.

“So, why did you suddenly change your mind?”

Harry looked at Charlie for a long while. He was certain that Charlie wouldn’t enjoy the answer to that question.

“I don’t think you want to know,” Harry answered finally with an arched eyebrow.

“Fuck! I knew it. . . Ginny’s just as bad as Ron and the twins. I had a feeling when you two were arguing last night during dinner. I thought it sounded a little strange that Ginny was so adamant about playing a game with you.” Charlie groaned and ran a hand through his hair.

Harry looked at him in surprise. Charlie was obviously a lot more observant than they all had given him credit for.

“Don’t look at me like that, Harry. I’m not daft. I know what my brothers do with their spare time. It’s a bloody miracle the three of them haven’t made my mum a grandmother, yet. . . Speaking of, Ginny better not be the one to do it or I will hurt you, despite my promise to the contrary.”

“I’m not totally irresponsible,” Harry said indignantly.

“Funny. . . But, I’m having a real hard time believing that right now.” Charlie’s eyes narrowed as he took a drink of his coffee as a distraction.

“I don’t know what to say, Charlie. I have tried to stay away from your sister, I really have. You don’t know the hell I’ve gone through because of it. You don’t know the pain I’ve caused Ginny. I’m sick of hurting her. It rips my heart out.” Harry let his head fall into his hands as the gravity of the situation hit him again.

“I know, Harry. But, is it worth the risk?” Charlie asked in a sympathetic voice.

“I don’t have a choice at this point. I simply can’t deny her. I know you don’t want to hear that, but it’s true.”

“She’s got you that bad?”

Harry lifted his head to look at Charlie when he heard the slight trace of amusement in his voice.

“You have no idea. I’ve taken more cold showers then you care to know about,” Harry sighed in exasperation.

Charlie laughed out loud. “Well, you can’t blame her. I think it’s genetic, I really do. That’s why I lay off the twins and Ron. Lord knows, I shouldn’t be throwing stones, and Bill’s just as bad. Even Percy has his moments. There aren’t seven children in my family for nothing. I guess it’s kind of unfair for me to get mad at you about Ginny. You probably didn’t stand a chance.”

Harry smiled in spite of himself. He’d never really put the connection together before.

“You could have warned me about this two years ago when you knew that I was falling for her.”

“I was hoping it was a male trait.” Charlie smirked in his usual light hearted manner.

“It’s not. . . I assure you.”

“So, what are you going to do? I’m not totally cold hearted. I know you two love each other. But, this does create real problems that I’m not happy about.” Charlie didn’t sound angry anymore, but his voice was still laced with serious concern.

“We’re just going to have to keep it a secret. It’s the only option I have left.”

“I’m willing to accept that. I wish you could stay away from her altogether, but if you say it’s the only option, I’m inclined to believe you. I know how stubborn Ginny can get. However, this is only half of your problem.”

Harry looked at Charlie, waiting from him to continue.

“I’m easy going. I can understand your side of things, even if it does upset me to know that you can’t keep your hands off my sister. Ron on the other hand. . .” Charlie raised his eyebrows and let Harry fill in the rest for himself.

Harry didn’t need Charlie to tell him that Ron was going to be a problem. He knew Ron better than anyone.

“I’ll deal with, Ron. I can handle him.”

“He may get physical. I’ve noticed it’s Ron’s way of dealing with things,” Charlie continued warningly.

“I know that. I’ve pulled Ron out of enough fights to understand what his reaction is going to be.” Harry leaned back against the chair and rubbed his temples as he felt a head ache coming on.

“He’s a pretty big guy. I wouldn’t want to fight him.”

“Thanks, Charlie, I know that too. You forget that I train with him everyday. Besides, I’ve fought him before.”

“Really? He’s your best mate,” Charlie asked in genuine surprise.

“Right, and a big prat sometimes, too. He had it coming,” Harry said as he frowned at the memory.

“You started it? Wow, I wouldn’t have guessed that. You’re just full of surprises this morning, Harry,” Charlie laughed as he shook his head.

“Yeah, he’s been sulking about that for a while. I’m sure he’ll enjoy the pay back,” Harry said with a smile.

“You know. . . I think I will. Only I remember promising something a lot worse than that.”

Harry and Charlie turned quickly to see Ron leaning against the doorway. His posture was casual, but his blue eyes were burning in fury as he glared at both of them.