The Last Kiss

Taken Care Of

~16~

Harry felt the room slowly stop spinning around him. As his eyes once again focused on his true surroundings, he opened his hand to see the violet still sitting in his palm, looking as innocent as ever.

"That's it?" he asked the tiny flower, as if it would suddenly answer him. "It can't end there... what happened? What about Perdita, did she tell him about Perdita!"

Harry shook the violet, as an investigator would the suspect they were interrogating. He had to know, he couldn't bear NOT knowing. For the past few hours, he had been living their past, feeling their emotions, shedding their tears... It can't end like this!

Trembling, sweat running down his forehead, Harry began to panic. Sirius is gone, how will I ever find out what happened? Knocking over the pictures sitting on the side of his desk, he leapt towards the box sitting on the nearby chair. Digging through it madly, he tossed photographs of Sirius and his father aside, letters he himself wrote to Sirius were tossed behind him haphazardly. Lifting out the small tattered flag, he paused.

He had overlooked the worn and faded piece of fabric before, not giving it a single moment of thought. Now he gently laid the tiny souvenir in his hand, the thin black and blue fabric was threadbare in places, holes burnt into it in, and the edges torn. With his finger, he traced over the four letters left visible...ight.

"Fighters," he whispered to himself, as tears began to well up in his eyes, clouding his vision.

Wiping some of the hot tears away, he quickly balled up the item and put it in his robes. Though she was never his daughter, he had held the small girl in his arms just as Renae had. Harry felt sure he would awaken many nights, seeing the little angel's face in his dreams just as it had haunted Renae. If she hadn't died, he thought, she would be almost my age, she may have gone to Hogwarts...I might have known her.

Forget it... stop thinking like that... it'll only make it worse.

Quickly, he wiped away more tears as he returned to digging through the box. Pushing more knick-knacks and pictures aside, he picked up an envelope with familiar handwriting on it. After writing so often with her hands, he knew it was Renae's. Pulling out the parchment, he unfolded it and began reading the tear stained writing.

Sirius

Please forgive me. I never meant to trick you, I just thought you'd never agree to using it! If I would have known how badly this would have hurt you, I would never have done it. It was an easy way for me to escape the horrible memories that were haunting me every time I closed my eyes at night.

If I could remember them now, I'd tell you what they were, but you must believe me when I say, I don't know why I did it! All I know is that you MUST use the violet, Please! Severus won't speak to me, though I know he knows why I did it. If you go to him, you two will only try and kill each other.

Please, if you do nothing else, if you never speak to me again, use the violet. It's the only one that could tell you why I did this, however foolish a reason it was.

Renae

"She forgot Perdita," he said to himself, staring at the letter in disbelief, "Sweet Merlin! She lost all memory of her." Harry didn't know whether he should feel happy that Renae had gotten her wish or angry that she had done something to wipe all memory of that sweet little girl from her mind.

Perdita should never be forgotten.

Grabbing the letter with both hands, he began crying madly as he went to tear the parchment in half in anger. He was furious with Renae. How could she risk all knowledge of her and Sirius' daughter for peaceful sleep? How could she live with herself, never remembering that sweet innocent face looking up at her with her intoxicating smile.

"How could you!" he shouted, throwing the letter across the room before gripping the sides of the box. As tears fell from his cheeks, Harry looked down to see Perdita's drawing. With a shaky hand, he lifted it out of the box like a rare jewel, which if dropped, would shatter into a million pieces.

"It wasn't a quaffle," he told himself, "it's a quod." He chuckled lightly as the picture of the little girl flew across the paper. "You must have gotten that from Sirius." She flew wonderfully; at least in the girl's own imagination.

Suddenly, it dawned on him. How did Sirius get all this then? Looking in the box again, he dug and found a picture of Renae and Perdita when the little raven-haired girl was probably about two. Sirius must have found out at some point, if he had all this. He must have found out about Perdita, but how?

Lupin. Lupin knew about her!

Harry looked at his clock; it was seven twenty. He was late for dinner at Lupin's.

Pulling out his wand, he quickly sent everything back into the box, tucking it under his arm as he headed for the door. Harry was determined to find out what had happened after Renae filled the violet. And Lupin was his first stop.

~~~*~~~

"Harry, it's not like you to be late," Lupin said, opening the door as Harry walked in, the box still under his arm. "Why'd you bring that?" he asked, pointing to the box.

Setting the box on the couch, Harry turned to him, holding up the picture of Renae and Perdita. "Why didn't he ever tell me about them? Why did Sirius keep this from me!" Harry felt the blood rush to his face, as his emotions again took hold of him.

Lupin's face paled as he reached out and took the picture. "You know who these people are?"

"Yes! Renae Wallis, and Perdita... Sirius' daughter!" Harry shouted, pointing at the photograph, still in Lupin's hand.

Taking a deep breath, Lupin ran a hand through his hair. Slowly exhaling, he sat on the couch, motioning Harry to do the same. "How did you find out about them?" he whispered calmly.

Reaching into the box, Harry produced the small wooden box, opening it to show Lupin the violet.

"He didn't destroy it!" Lupin shouted, jumping to his feet. Harry couldn't remember seeing Lupin react like that before. "He told me he destroyed it, got rid of it!" Pointing at the flower like some rabid dog, he continued, "Tell me you didn't touch that. Tell me you didn't pick up that damn violet!"

Harry began to sink into the couch. Lupin was normally so collected, even when Sirius died, he had been strong. Why was he getting so worked up? As the blood drained from his face, Harry began to answer, "Well..."

Lupin grabbed the wooden box, slamming it shut as he began to pace in front of the fire. "How could you lie to me like that? I trusted you Padfoot, trusted you more than anyone and you lie to me, lie to my face! I told you this damn thing was no good, that it would grab a hold of you."

"What are you..." Harry didn't get to finish his question.

"This," Lupin began, shaking the box in Harry's face, "should never have been. Renae should have known better than to make this, then trick Sirius into filling it with her." He threw the box onto the table, turning his back to Harry. "I thought she was stronger than that. I thought she was wiser than that." Turning to face him once more, Harry saw Lupin's eyes welling up with tears. "That little flower made the last few months of Sirius' life worse than all twelve years in Azkaban."

Almost in a whisper, Harry asked, "What happened after they filled it?"

Lupin stared at the box for several minutes, appearing to be battling with himself as to whether or not he should answer. Again he ran a hand through his hair, then answered, his voice calmer than before. "Many things, Harry. Few good." Sighing, he returned to sit on the couch. "They say things get worse before they get better. Well, for Sirius... they never did.

I didn't find out what happened before the third task of the Triwizard Tournament until after I reported to Dumbledore with Sirius. It was after the Order had been reorganized that Sirius sat down and told me what Renae had done that night. At first, I didn't believe it. Renae was too smart to do something like that, but then he showed it to me and with a small touch, I quickly realized it was no joke.

I went to confront Renae about it, but Dumbledore had already added her to the Order, sending her back to America to use her father's connections in the American Ministry to rally support and track possible Death Eaters still in the States. She helped us gain information we would otherwise never have gotten, but she never stepped foot in Britain again.

Sirius refused to speak to her, furious that she would do something so careless. He demanded to know why she did it, but apparently it lifted her memory so well, she had no recollection as to why she did. For months, she'd send Dumbledore reports, and Sirius letters. Most of which he burned."

"Wait," Harry exclaimed, picking out the letter he had found from Renae, "he kept this one."

Taking the letter from Harry, Lupin read it then handed it back. "I know. I found it next to him one night after you had left Grimmauld Place to return to Hogwarts. I found him sitting next to Buckbeak, holding the violet, his eyes closed as he was pulled into the violet's memory. I had to slap his hand to knock the flower out of his palm to bring him out of it." He chuckled lightly as he wiped a tear from his cheek. "Oh, Sirius was livid. Apparently he was in the middle of reliving a rather intimate moment with Renae."

Harry wondered which one as he lightly chuckled as well.

"We fought. Sirius had had a taste of their memories and was already addicted to them. I had a feeling Renae had made it in order to use it to tell Sirius about Perdita. I could have told him myself, but I felt it wasn't my place. Renae was still writing to him, so maybe she'd somehow remember Perdita and tell him herself. Instead, I merely asked Sirius to hide the flower and not use it again. But, being the sneaky little prat he was, Sirius kept using it. Several times I caught him, but I never did anymore than ask him to stop. I guess I was hoping one of those times he'd finally relive Renae's memories of Perdita and call it quits." Lupin shook his head solemnly. "He didn't...

One day, he came down to dinner. Seeing me, he grabbed me by the collar of my robes and dragged me upstairs, his eyes like fire. He was furious with me for not telling him about his daughter. I had only seen him that mad once before, and that was the night in the Shrieking Shack, when he had found Wormtail. At first, I thought he was going to kill me, but I managed to calm him down. But it only made matters worse with Renae."

Harry continued to listen, sitting on the edge of the couch as he awaited Lupin's every word.

"Renae wrote to me a few days later, the parchment barely readable through the tear stains. Sirius had demanded everything she had of Perdita's. She had left Hogsmeade the day after the third task, leaving everything behind. Snape had been the one to empty her flat. How Sirius managed to get these things from him, I don't know." He pointed towards the box before looking at the picture of Renae and Perdita once more. "And Snape won't exactly talk to me, now will he?"

"Well, what happened to Renae? Is she still in America?" Harry asked impatiently.

Lupin's face fell as he got off the couch and headed for the kitchen. "I think we should eat."

Harry followed him. "No, I want to know about Renae. Is she still in America?" he repeated.

Lupin picked a shepard's pie up off the counter and carried it to the dining room table. Harry was again, on his heels.

"Tell me where Renae is!" he shouted.

Lupin stared at the cherry stained table. "I don't know Harry."

"What? You don't know?" he asked in disbelief. He knew everything else it seemed, why wouldn't he know where she was, they were friends. "Then who does?"

Gripping the back of a chair, Lupin looked over at Harry. "Snape."

For a moment, Harry stood dumbfounded. Snape knows where she is. Snape. "Wait, why would Snape know where she is, but not you? I thought you were friends."

Lupin was heading back into the kitchen. "We were."

"Were?" Harry asked, "What happened?"

Stopping in front of the table as he put a bottle of pumpkin juice on it, Lupin's voice trembled. "L, let's eat Harry, before it gets cold."

Harry slammed his hand on the table. "No, we will NOT eat. Not until I know what happened!"

Lupin collapsed into a chair, his arm knocking over the bottle of juice. He didn't move to clean the mess, but let the liquid spill over the edge of the table, dripping to the carpeted floor. "I... I can't tell you Harry, so please don't ask," he whispered, plopping his face into his hands.

"No! I'm tired of having things kept from me! I'm an adult damn it, and an Auror on top of that! I've killed Voldemort for Merlin's sake... I don't need people keeping things from me!"

"Harry, I'm not trying to keep it from you, I just..."

"No!" he shouted, knocking the Shepard's pie to the floor in a fit of anger. "Tell me!"

"NO HARRY!" Lupin turned to him, tears streaming down his face. "I can't tell you because I can't bare to tell it!"

"Fine!" Harry shouted, grabbing the violet's wooden box and the photograph and throwing them in the box, which still sat on the couch. "Fine! I'll go and ask Snape then. If he knows where she is, he'll probably know what happened, and then HE can tell me, since you're too much of a coward!"

Lupin leapt out of the chair, grabbing his arm before he could go out the door. "If he tells you, you'll see that I am not a coward. And you'll know why I've never talked about her before. That is, if you can handle it."

Still furious at the way Lupin had been refusing to tell him everything, Harry glared at the man holding onto him. "I can handle anything, Lupin." And he stormed out of the house.

~~~*~~~

The box again under his arm, Harry Apparated into Hogsmeade and quickly made his way up to Hogwarts castle. It was now after the student's curfew, so he knew the halls should be empty.

Opening the great oak doors leading into the Entrance Hall, he was mildly surprised to see Snape standing in the middle of the Hall, arms crossed.

"Potter."

"Snape."

Stepping closer, Snape's face hardened in a look of complete disgust. "Lupin was kind enough to inform me that you were on your way here. To see me."

Harry scoffed. "Figured as much."

Snape glared for a moment before spinning on his heel and calling over his shoulder. "Follow me."

They traded no words on the way to Snape's office. Instead, Harry quietly steamed as he heard the dull clunks of the soles of his shoes on the stone floor of the dungeons.

"Sit." Snape ordered as they entered the damp room.

Seeing the familiar, worn, black leather chair from Renae's memories, he swallowed hard for a moment as he thought about the number of times he saw that very chair, never realizing she had ever sat in it.

"Why are you bothering me this evening, Potter?" Snape asked, his tone biting.

"Where's Renae Wallis?"

Snape's face fell for a moment, before returning to its normal cold glare. "How did you learn of her?"

"The violet."

Resting an elbow on the desk, Snape put his forehead in his hand and rubbed his temple. "That imbecile didn't destroy it?"

"No, he didn't. And don't you dare call him an imbecile!" Harry growled in return.

Looking up, a sickening grin crossed Snape's face. "Never you mind, Potter. She is fine and well taken care of."

"Taken care of?" Harry repeated questioningly. Snape's eyes suddenly flashed with a look he had only seen through Renae's eyes. Fear. Snape's face was frozen as he apparently realized he had let something slip, and Harry wanted to know what it was.

Standing up, Harry grabbed the edge of Snape's desk. Leaning in towards his old Potions Teacher, he asked, "What do you mean, 'taken care of'?"