The Last Kiss

Vessels

~14~

Renae looked in every alleyway, dark corner, row of bushes; you name it, in Hogsmeade, looking for Sirius in his animagus form. Despite the fact that morning was approaching, she continued to check every place imaginable, a second and even a third time.

Growing weary, she collapsed on a large stone sitting off in a field behind the Three Broomsticks. Tears streamed down her face. What if I can never find him again? She was afraid her chance had past.

~~~*~~~

Sirius awoke the next morning, his eyes still puffy from last night. Sitting up, he looked over at Buckbeak, who was content with following a spider as it climbed up the cave wall with his eyes.

I wish she could have seen it was me.

She wouldn't have... she never knew about you or the others.

His thoughts gave him no comfort. Instead of laying around all day, feeling sorry for himself, he decided to look for some more papers; the errand he was suppose to have done last night. Changing into his dog form, he slowly walked out of the cave.

As he made his way down the mountainside, he saw someone out in the field behind the Three Broomsticks. No one ever bothers with that old field, what could they be up to? Quickly thinking of Harry and everything happening at Hogwarts, he wasn't about to let anything suspicious get past him. Gaining speed as he ran down the hill, he headed for the field.

When Sirius was a few yards away, he realized it was Renae. Is she staying in Hogsmeade? For a moment, his heart gave a leap, and then he remembered he couldn't reveal himself to her.

Renae stood up, wiping her eyes. It looked like she had been up all night. She was still wearing the same clothes and looked ready to collapse from exhaustion. He was worried about her as she began to head back into town, her steps shaky. I've got to make sure she's alright.

Keeping a short distance between them, he slowly followed her into town. She wasn't hard to follow; she was staggering as she walked, never once looking around at where she was going. Sirius was able to practically stay on her heels.

~~~*~~~

Renae could barely hear the bustle of people outside in the street below. She couldn't remember coming back to her room, much less how she managed to get into bed. Or am I dreaming? She rolled over and thought she was seeing a black face sitting on the edge of the bed facing her.

"How'd you get here?" she mumbled, trying to determine how a furry head could find its way into her room, especially without a body. Man, my dreams keep getting weirder and weirder. She drifted back to sleep.

****

Sirius sat there for most of the day, his chin laying on the edge of her bed, so he could watch over her. Every once in a while, he would close his eyes, and breathe deep the wonderful smell of violets that drifted from her skin.

Once, she had awoken slightly; but was still quite out of it. She had asked him how he got there and was immediately asleep again. Still, he did not move.

~~~*~~~

Lick...lick...lick

Ahh, do all my dreams have to involve animals!

Renae batted at her would be attacker, half asleep. Her hand grazed something furry.

These dreams are getting so real!

Lick... lick... lick

"Uhhh..." She again swiped her hand in front of her face, feeling slightly more awake.

Lick... lick

This time, as she lifted her hand, she forced her eyes open. "AH!"

Looking down on her was a huge black face. Scrambling to sit up, she quickly realized she had not been dreaming, and that her reason for being out all night was now sitting on her bed.

"Sirius?"

The black dog titled its head, and cocked its ears as if in thought.

Renae felt tears forming in her eyes. "Please tell me your Sirius!" she pleaded with the animal.

Suddenly the dog was gone, and a dreadful looking version of Sirius Black was sitting next to her. "Renae? How did you..."

Not giving a moment's thought to how he looked, she interrupted him by wrapping her arms around him and kissing him with all the bottled up passion of twelve long years.

****

He nearly fell over as Renae pounced on him, their lips meeting for the first time in twelve years. Sirius felt tears of joy run down his cheeks as he wrapped his arms around her, never wanting to again let go.

All those years, curled up in a damp, foul corner of his cell, wasting away in Azkaban, had made the warmth of her touch and the passion of her kiss seem like a lost memory. A dream he could never hope to ever obtain again. He had been a fool, not telling her the truth, the truth about being an animagi and switching places with Peter. If he had told her, he may never have spent so long without her love.

He began crying hysterically, holding her face in his hands, terrified of letting go, like he was only dreaming and if their lips parted, she would fade into the night. He wanted to believe this was real, that she was truly holding him as tightly as he held her; that she was truly crying out his name with every gasp of air.

Finally, he dared to stop. Risk everything for the chance he may actually be in the arms of his love. Slowly he opened his tear filled eyes, still holding the sides of her face for dear life. Her eyes were dripping with tears, her breathing labored with her sobbing. But it was real. It was Renae. Her eyes were filled with the love he had longed to feel for over a decade.

Her touch was warm and soft as she began running her hands along his cheeks. "Sirius, I never thought I'd ever see you again." She broke down as he pulled her to him, holding her to his chest, rocking her like one would a child who had awoke from a nightmare. Kissing the top of her head over and over, he wrapped his arms around her so tight; she began to feel like a part of him. He wanted her to be a part of him. He wanted to be a part of her.

"I'll never be such a fool again. I'll never let you go again. Oh, Renae," he pulled her chin up to gaze into those loving eyes, "I died without you. You have every reason to hate me...to tell me to go to hell. I kept too many secrets from you, how can I ever make it up to you? Can I make it up to you?"

As tears rolled down her already soaked cheeks, she smiled, making his heart leap. "Just tell me you love me, and never let me go."

Sirius pulled her closer. "I love you, though I don't deserve you, I love you with all my heart, and soul."

Their bodies entwined once more.

Leaning her back onto the bed, his tongue continued to explore its once familiar space. Renae moaned as he carefully laid himself on top of her. Her fingers trailed down his back, sending tingles down his spine, just as he remembered. It was glorious, it was miraculous, and he never wanted it to end.

Stopping, he gently brushed her tear-dampened hair out of her face. He ran his thumb along her cheekbone. Her smile made all the pain from their separation fade into memory. For the first time in years, he felt he could be the man he once was, not the outlaw he now was. The man she loved. The man she still loved.

"How did you know it was me? I never told you."

With a smile she responded, "Remus told me everything."

"So that's what old Moony was up to." Sirius lightly chuckled. "But you didn't say anything yesterday behind Honeydukes."

Renae blushed. "I had forgotten what form Remus said you took. I didn't put it together until late last night. So I went out looking for you."

He kissed her again. She came looking for me.

As their lips parted again, Renae asked, "How did you get here? Only three people know I'm here."

"Oh, and who's that?"

Her face flushed. "Ah... well, Dumbledore and Remus."

Sirius raised an eyebrow. "That's two people, Renae."

With a sheepish grin, she mumbled through gritted teeth, "Snibf"

"What?"

Fear flashed in her eyes. "Promise me you won't go flying off the handle."

"Why would I do that? I'm just happy to be with you again!"

She closed her eyes and took a deep breath. "I know you, so please, just promise."

Sirius was curious as to why she felt he would overreact to who ever was the third person to know she was there. "Alright, I promise."

After taking a deep breath, she told him. "Snape."

****

"SNAPE? Snivellus knows you're here...you're STILL talking to him?" Sirius looked fit to explode. He sat up, trying to run his hand through his matted hair.

Renae wished she had keep quiet about Severus, but she didn't want any more secrets between her and Sirius. "You promised not to go flying off the handle."

"I'm not flying off the handle! I'm...I'm..."

"Flying off the handle," she finished for him.

His eyes narrowed as she returned the glare. "I'm just a little upset is all."

Renae rolled her eyes, "Really? You looked so happy to me."

Sirius' face softened, surprisingly. "Renae, let's not fight. I've missed you for twelve long years, I can think of a million things I'd rather be doing with you right now."

Running her hand along his sunken cheek, she apologized. "I'm sorry Sirius, I've missed you too, more than you'll ever know." She closed her eyes and enjoyed the taste of Sirius' lips on hers.

~~~*~~~

The next morning, Renae woke up to Sirius sleeping beside her. Before they had gotten "reacquainted", she had insisted he shower. Though he still looked half starved, he now resembled more the dashing man she had fallen in love with, and still loved.

Kissing him gently, she slipped out of the bed and put on her dressing gown. She had been thinking of how she would tell Sirius about Perdita. He had been through so much, she was beginning to think that maybe she had better leave their daughter's memory in the past, rather than add it to his already full plate.

He has Harry to worry about; you can't go troubling him with this now! Renae knew Remus was going to be livid if he found out she hadn't told him when she had the chance.

Taking a seat at her table, she looked at the small stack of books she had borrowed from Severus. Merlin, don't tell Sirius that! She honestly did have a curiosity about ancient magic, and since she wanted to leave Sirius to sleep, she picked up the top book.

The old, green leather bound book read, Dark Intent: Ancient Draughts to Bewitch the Mind, the Heart and the Soul.

Huh, interesting title, she thought, opening the book. Let's see what we have here.

****

Sirius awoke to the sound of pages turning. Rolling over, he found Renae already awake and sitting at her table. "Morning."

Lifting her head from the book she was reading, she smiled at him. "Morning. Sleep well?"

He stretched out over the large bed, enjoying the soft mattress as his limbs covered it, corner to corner. "Ahh, yes, indeed. That cave floor is murder on my back."

Renae giggled. "Hungry?"

"Yes!"

"Thought so," she got up and walked into the kitchen, "you look starved. Sit down at the table, I'll make some breakfast."

Not needing to be told twice, Sirius quickly took the seat vacated by Renae. As he pushed a stack of books aside, he glanced over the one she had left open. Draughts for the Mind was written across the top of the left page, Vessels across the right. Not finding this particular subject very interesting, he took a scrap piece of parchment, marking the page for her.

A few moments later Renae returned two full plates in her hands. As Renae set one of the plates in front of him, he looked over the food with apprehension. There were opened biscuits covered with a creamy sauce with what looked like bits of meat in it. Renae sat down after putting a cup of coffee in front of him.

"What?" she asked.

He pointed at the plate as he grimaced.

She rolled her eyes. "It's biscuits and sausage gravy. It won't kill you."

"No chance of beans and toast?"

"No, Sirius. I can't stand that! When I think beans, I think BEANS. As in dark brown, onions, bacon, molasses, baked in a cast iron pot for hours, so thick you can put your spoon in the middle of the pot, and it will stand on its own. And those kind of beans DO NOT go with toast."

Sirius swallowed hard, then painted the most sarcastic grin on his face humanly possible. "GREAT!... Biscuits and gravy it is!" With a huge smile, he began digging into the food.

Renae rolled her eyes and laughed. "Smart ass."

****

They didn't talk much during breakfast, which Renae didn't mind. Sirius looked frighteningly thin and pale, and she felt better seeing him clean his plate. He always complained about biscuits and gravy, but he always ate every bite of it too.

Finishing his second helping, he reached over and picked up his coffee. "No tea?"

"You want tea?"

"Well, it would be nice." He flashed her his puppy dog eyes.

I see Azkaban hasn't taken that out of him, she thought as she returned to the kitchen for some tea.

As she sat down, two glasses of ice tea in her hands, she handed one to Sirius. "Ice tea?" he asked.

Renae laughed. "Have you ever known me to have hot tea?"

"Well, no," he said, politely pushing the glass away from him, "but I thought you might make me some considering how long it's been since I've had a decent meal."

She laughed, almost spitting her tea across the table at him. "I don't even know how to make hot tea."

Sirius laughed. "Okay,' he picked up his glass, "guess I'll be safer with this."

****

Suddenly, Sirius remembered Buckbeak. "Oh, shit, Renae. I have to get back to the cave, I left Buckbeak there." He had told her about the hippogriff that night, and hadn't given him a second thought since.

Finishing her last sip of tea, she held up a finger to tell him to wait a minute. Setting down the glass, she headed for the kitchen. When she returned, she had a container inside a bag for him. "Here, it's what was left, I'm sure Buckbeak must be hungry too."

Sirius gave her quick kiss. "You think of everything." Turning back into a black dog, Renae held the bag handles open for him so he could put the bag around his neck. A quick lick on her cheek, and he was out the door.

****

Closing the door behind him, Renae mentally slapped herself. "I still didn't tell him. Damn it, why does this ALWAYS happen to me?"

Rather than sit around, beating herself over the head for it, she picked up the book she had been reading before Sirius woke up. She had accepted Severus' offer of lending her several books from his personal library, and this had been the first time she had looked in any of them. No need to tell Severus that.

As she read, she became very interested in an ancient potion used to turn ordinary objects into ' Memory Vessels'. Once the preferred method of storing memories, it retained them so clearly, that when others used the Vessels, they experienced the memories as if they were that person. In 1272, the Wizards' Council, because of the madness associated with their use, banned Memory Vessels and their creation.

Wizards would pick up a seemingly innocent object, only to find themselves suddenly slipping into some stranger's mind and whatever tragic or depressing memories were stored in it. Many had trouble coping with it, confusing their own lives with those they had unwittingly relived. Others, found the other person's life more desirable than their own and became dependant on the Vessel, reliving the memories repeatedly until they were convinced the memories were their own.

However, Renae saw a glimmer of hope in this. This potion gave the Vessel's creator the ability to define which type of memories to extract; from specific events to emotions, even if they spanned a lifetime. Not only that, it could retain the memories of up to two people. The only downside is that once the Vessel "lifted" the memories, the person often lost all recollection of the memories, either in their entirety, or bits and pieces, another reason they thought people were going mad from the practice.

"This may be better than telling him. I could make a vessel for our memories, and I could put my memories of Perdita in it!" She knew she was looking for an easy why out of telling him about their daughter, but she didn't care. She had lived with the memory of her death so long, the possibility of being able to contain it for Sirius to relive on his own instead of her telling him the story, and the possibility of being relieved from having to live with the grim memory was becoming more appealing by the minute.

Renae began reading over the details of the process. Using the potion and "filling" the Vessel would be easy enough, but the potion itself... it looked like a beast to make. Half the ingredients you wouldn't be able to find in a respectable Apothecary shop, and the directions alone were more complex than even the Fidelius Charm!

Great, she grumbled as she realized there was no way she could possibly make the potion. What a lot of good Severus' books are turning out to be!

"Wait, Severus!" she exclaimed, as she ran across the room to grab a parchment and quill.