Marrying Lucius Malfoy

Selina felt oddly separate from her body.

She opened her eyes and was surprised that she wasn't floating above her beaten form. She was lying in a large bed, and outside the sun was going down. She blinked rapidly and allowed her eyes to adjust to the dim lamplight.

Selina found that she wasn't in her room, or even in a room at Malfoy Manor. It didn't seem like she was in the bright private hospital Lucius had put her in when she fell down the stairs either. Truth be told, the room was quite lovely. The drapes and bedcovers and rug were all the same jewel-tone blue, and walls had been painted only a few shades lighter. To keep the room from resembling a blueberry the designer had made all the furniture varying shades of golden amber and the several pieces of artwork violet.

The two amber chairs, placed five feet from Selina's bed, had been tastefully chosen. Both came from the same period of time-Selina suspected the furniture to be Victorian-but were of slightly different styles. A square, glass coffee table between the chairs looked sleek and modern. A book of artistic landscape photos was the lone object on the table. There was more to observe, but Selina lost interest and began to think.

She was alone. A chair was on the far side of her bed, nearer to the window and the wall, but it was empty. Several sections of the Daily Prophet had been strewn about on and beside the chair, but as hard as Selina stared at the pages she could not pick out a date. Having found that she had no idea what day it was Selina looked the room over for a clock.

There was none.

Selina sat back in bed. Her limbs had begun to ache, and her legs shook of their own accord. Now that she had been awake for a good twelve minutes the effects of her ordeal had started to sink in. Her right arm jerked about at the least expected moments. With each jerk came a small spasm of pain, but not so much that it actually hurt. Selina would have been content to merely lie in bed placidly, sore and beaten and too listless to care, but she had to remember what had happened. It was a road that had to be taken before the healing could begin.

Selina, of course, remembered why she had fled Lucius into unfamiliar woods. He had cheated on her, and to make matters worse he had told the slut that he despised the baby she was pregnant with. She remembered the suddenness of it all, too. One moment she had been alone, and the next an invisible darkness had been upon her. And then there had been boots and burns and pain. Curses, pain, death...And then a blissful darkness.

All of that led up to now.

Selina chanced a glance down at her upper torso. Her right arm, which she vaguely remembered as being broken, hung limply at her side. It ached, like the rest of her, and when Selina tried to move it a sharp ripple of pain shot up her arm. It was a shocking sting, but still, not as bad as Selina would have thought. Using her left arm she pulled back her covers and looked down at her pale legs. The simple white gown she was in was hemmed at the knees, but from what she could see her legs were normal, save for the several large, fading bruises.

Selina suddenly felt very tired. Her energy, which hadn't been much to begin with, was ebbing, but she wanted answers before she fell asleep. She knew that there was something in the back of her mind that she had forgotten. After viewing her body and finding no visible long term damage she was strangely apprehensive.

'No one,' Selina thought, 'could survive something like that without a scratch. And just where is everybody? Wouldn't at least one person be on hand in case I woke up?'

Selina glanced at the door. She half-expected Riley or Pamela or Lucius to stride through the door, just because she had thought it. Of course, no one came, and so she lay back in bed and worked hard to remember what exactly could be the matter with her. It occurred to her that perhaps, upon finding out that she'd at least live, people would avoid her to keep from breaking bad news.

'Well then. I'll just have to find out on my own.' Selina went over the attack again. 'Lucius told Ms. DeSanders that he didn't like the baby. He loves Arielle DeSanders. They were kissing outside of the garden, and I caught them. I ran away. I got lost, and then I was attacked. Lucius didn't like the baby. He loves Ms. DeSanders. They were kissing. I caught them. I ran. I got lost, and then was attacked. Lucius. The baby. Arielle DeSanders...Kissing. Ran away. Got lost. Was attacked. Lucius...The baby...'

And then Selina knew.

With a sick wrench in her stomach she knew what was wrong. "Oh god," she whispered. "The baby."

There was no doubt then that she had lost the unborn child. Though she couldn't remember any blows to her stomach, the searing Cruciatus Curse would be enough to destroy any tiny creature that had been growing within her. For several blissful moments Selina remained totally numb. Her mind was still processing her new, terrible revelation, and the impact of what had happened had not fully set in.

But then a harsh dose of reality hit. Suddenly Selina's world came crashing down upon her. She was too young to be a mother, but still...She deserved the chance to prove herself. She was too young to lose a child...She didn't know how to cope. She couldn't possibly be expected to cope.

Not alone.

Not like this!

Selina sank back into bed, and she stared up and the ceiling. Sleep would not come for ages, and she suspected that neither would company. One was never more alone than in the dark hours of reality, Selina concluded, and she resigned herself to the past.

~*~

They would not let him go to her.

Lucifer clearly thought that his brother was treading a thin line of instability, and whether Draco thought the same or not he had allied himself with his uncle. Along with the help of sturdy Dionyza and a reluctant Riley, the four were able to band together and form enough of a power that Lucius could not find out where they were keeping his wife.

The most infuriating thing about it all was that none of them bothered going to her either. Lucius knew this because all four always guarded him. They'd make sorry attempts to seem as though they were actually doing something of their own interest-Riley might play Dionyza in a game of chess, and Draco might read softly while Lucifer strummed woefully at a mandolin-but as soon as Lucius stood a moved to another room, the other four were sure to follow.

Lucius knew about the loss of the baby, of course. Lucifer had been decent enough to tell him that much. Lucius had not cried. That was not so unusual, for he had not cried since he was a teenaged boy of sixteen. He had, however, mourned for three days. Three seemed like a round, solid number, and so for three days all he did was sit somberly and reflect.

Lucius wondered how Selina would react to the news when she awoke-his wife was still in a light coma, but Lucifer assured him that the doctors said her awakening was inevitable-for she was only a girl of nineteen. The pregnancy had been hard enough, but to lose a child at such a young age...

Lucius loved Selina. He made a sacrifice for her sake. Should she choose never to have children again, he would respect that. After what she heard Arielle DeSanders say, he would not blame her if she didn't even want to have sex.

Lucius always burned when he thought of Arielle. The slut had been at work for someone else that evening, whoever had attacked Selina. She had been smart enough to flee after the attack, and should their paths ever cross again Lucius knew he would kill her, slowly.

The blond man thought of all this and more as he sat in his study. He worked on nothing in particular, and so only Draco and Dionyza were left to guard him. Lucius could have stunned them both if he had really wanted to, but he wasn't in the mood for a struggle. As was often the case these days, he was in the mood to sit around and blame others for his misfortunes.

A noise at the door caught his attention. It was Lucifer and Riley, and they were bundled up in expensive looking cloaks. They both looked flushed and excited. It could only mean one thing.

"She's awake." Lucius was the first to say it, and the words felt good to his tongue, so he repeated them. "She's awake."

"We've only just received word," Riley said.

"She's asked for Riley," Lucifer said, "and for her maid. The maid is preparing the carriage and gathering the crups. I'm going as an escort. Draco, Dion, watch out for this one. He can be tricky."

Lucius gave a mocking snort. "And why am I not allowed along?" he asked.

"Because," Lucifer mumbled, casting his eyes to the ground. "She told the nurse in charge she never wants to see you again."

~*~

Finally a nurse had come. She had given a 'meep' of surprise upon seeing Selina's state, and she had rushed about, mailing owls and asking questions. Three doctors had appeared later, and one of them had been Reggie Carfunkell. He had explained what Selina already knew: that her baby was gone. There had been sadness in the doctor's eyes.

"She's so young," he had whispered to a nurse when he thought Selina was resting. "Too young to get pregnant, and now she's lost the baby. I think she'll need therapy. The husband will be hard to convince on this one, but I'm sure the brother will agree."

Selina had discerned from the snippets of conversation that happened around her that Lucifer Malfoy was handling her affairs, and not her 'husband' Lucius. She was glad of this, and when the nurse asked whom was permitted to see her she made sure that Lucifer would know that Lucius was indeed an unwelcome being. This would cause ripples in her future that would most likely turn into waves, but Selina was too exhausted from the catharsis of self-pity that had recently flooded her to care about the future.

Lucifer Malfoy was her first visitor. He was tall and handsome and reminded Selina of his brother. Lucifer must have sensed as much because after a small series of quick questions he left, leaving a cool kiss on her cheek. Next to come in was Riley.

"Oh, Selly," she breathed when she saw her best friend. "When I first got here the doctors weren't sure you were going to make it."

"Did I look bad?" Selina asked.

"Awful, Selly. All bruises and broken bones and cuts." Riley's eyes narrowed. "What did he do to you?" she asked. "I almost killed that fucking idiot you're married to, you know that?" When Selina sat up to protest, Riley held up a hand. "Don't try and lie and say he had nothing to do with you ending up three miles from the manor, because I don't believe it. Lucius Malfoy has been looking guiltier than all get out, Selina. Even if he didn't arrange for this-and believe me, it took some convincing that he didn't do that either-I still think he said something."

Selina sat still for a long time. She didn't want to tell Riley what had happened. Riley was her best friend, like a sister, but she just couldn't form the words to explain what had happened. She'd forgotten that Riley didn't even know about the garden...There was too much explaining that would have to be done. Selina knew that she didn't have the energy.

"I'll tell you later," she promised. "I just...No Lucius. I don't want to think about him tonight."

Thankfully, Riley understood. Selina could tell that she wanted to protest and push, but something--Selina thought about the baby and decided that maybe it was pity--held her back. "You going to be all right?" Riley asked. "Do you want to talk about the baby? I'm here if you do want to."

'You're here because you have to be,' Selina thought bitterly. 'And perhaps I should be thankful that Riley loves me enough to listen. Lord knows she's scared as hell that I'll say yes.'

"No," Selina said aloud. "I don't want to talk about the baby. I just want to...You know, I'm not even sure what the date is?"

"January seventh, nineteen-ninety-eight. You've been out for thirteen days, Selina." Riley sat down on the bed and folded her arms. "The New Years Ball has come and gone. Lucius showed up, and people pretended not to know that you were in the hospital. I only went for a moment or two, and then I came here for a bit."

"And my crups?" Selina asked. "Can you bring them here?"

Riley sighed and fluffed a pillow, if only to occupy herself with a menial activity. "We brought them, Selina, but the facility doesn't allow animals. No exceptions can be made. They have some pretty allergic people here, it seems."

Nothing could have masked Selina's disappointment. Riley's heart almost broke, her friend became so sad and forlorn. "And just where am I?" she asked, pulling her knees to her chest in a position of vulnerability.

"The Lewis Ludwig House for the Magically Ailing," Riley replied. "Or the LLHMA, as it's so cheerfully referred to. It's not the best, mind you, but you can bet that the best places are where Lucius will look first."

"You haven't even told him where I am?" Selina asked, a little in awe.

"Lucifer seems to think that that's all that keeps him from storming up here. So no, he's in the dark about your location. Truth be told, we had to tell a few white lies to get you in here." Riley grinned elfishly. "Only a selected few, like the three nurses that tend to you--they're all good friends of Lucifer's, so they can be trusted--and Dr. Carfunkell know that you're Mrs. Malfoy. We don't want the press having a field day if they found out what happened to you. No one important knew of your pregnancy, and unless you want a boatload of pity, we'll keep it that way."

"Amazing how much things have changed," Selina commented after absorbing the information. "I never actually thought that rich wives hid out in secretive hospitals while recovering. I always thought that was a bunch of nonsense."

"Apparently not," Riley said. "Is the lifestyles of the rich and the famous all it's cracked up to be?" she asked.

"Definitely not," Selina said, and she collapsed back into her pillow.

A nurse, who must have been hovering in the doorway of the room, bustled in. "Mrs. Malfoy, I think your friend should go. You need a touch of rest, and then she can come back," the woman said in a commanding voice.

"If it's all the same to you, ma'am, I'll wait quietly in the corner. I swear I won't talk-I just want to watch out for her." Riley ruffled Selina's curls. "I left her once, and I'd not be able to sleep at night if I did so again."

The nurse crossed her arms, and then she uncrossed them. She thought for a moment, and then she gave in. "Just so long as she gets some sleep," she said, and then she was gone, off to linger in the doorway in case anything was needed.

"Night night, Selina darling," Riley whispered, and she went to sit in a soft amber chair. Out from her coat she pulled a book, and, with a last glance at Selina, she began to read.

As always when she read, Riley mouthed the words. The action, which usually annoyed Selina, seemed oddly comforting then. Selina closed her eyes. She bit her lip and concentrated as hard as she could, but it was no use.

As hard as she tried, she couldn't pretend that it was "the old days." As hard as she tried, she couldn't erase from her mind the unborn baby that would never be born. As hard as she tried, she knew she couldn't forget that it would be a long time before things were all right again, and as hard as she tried, none of the eyes that haunted her dreams, be they slate gray or ice blue, would leave her be for very long.