Rating:
PG
House:
Riddikulus
Characters:
Hermione Granger Lavender Brown Parvati Patil Severus Snape
Genres:
Humor General
Era:
Multiple Eras
Stats:
Published: 01/21/2005
Updated: 01/21/2005
Words: 1,459
Chapters: 1
Hits: 515

Five Knuts

Rapunzel

Story Summary:
Parvati and Lavender have come up with a most brilliant idea. How do they drag Hermione into it, and how does a telescope fit in?

Posted:
01/21/2005
Hits:
515
Author's Note:
Please, please, PLEASE read and review! Even if your comments are 'Shut up, go away, I don't want to hear from you anymore,' they will be much appreciated.


Five Knuts

By Rapunzel

Parvati and Lavender bounced - yes, literally bounced - into our dormitory. I rolled my eyes. They had been like this since February first; when their first load of rose scented, pink colored notes came in. I had become accustomed to this and ignored them, going back to reading my potion's text. Usually they left me alone, but apparently this day I was not to receive that pleasure.

Lavender hopped onto my bed, shoving my feet unceremoniously to the side. I held back an annoyed comment and pretended to continue to ignore her. "Guess what, Hermione?"

I did not lower my book, but rolled my eyes behind it. "What?"

"Guess!"

"Ron sent you a Valentine's Day note," I guessed. He had been talking about doing so, but I seriously doubted he had worked up the courage as of yet. Not that it was any secret that the two were madly in love with each other, of course.

"She wishes," Parvati replied. She wrapped an arm around one of the posts of my bed and swung herself around it, her prized mane of hair sparkling in the light from the window. "We've come up with the greatest idea!"

I stared blankly at the two for a moment, wondering as to what sort of horrible plan they had come up with this time. "Really?" I tried to sound enthusiastic. I did not have the greatest acting skills, but obviously that did not matter to them, because it worked.

"Yes! We are going to put up a kissing booth!" Lavender was bouncing again. My entire bed shook as I stared, once again, dumbstruck. It was amazing how well they both managed to render me, the brightest student and most famed speaker of our year, speechless.

"We're going to use the money we raise to buy a new telescope for Professor Sinistra." This was a noble cause, I admit, but why could they not have just baked cookies or pies or something?

"Who are you going to have do the kissing?" I asked, once I had gained my voice back. I was almost instantly afraid of their answer.

"Well, we figured that all of us Gryffindor Sixth Year - "

I was correct. I promptly fainted.

I woke again when a glass of cold water was poured over my head. I sat up, trying to make sense of my surroundings, and trying to remember why I had passed out in the first place. I smelled cheap perfume and grimaced. Ah, yes... kissing.

"I refuse to kiss boys for money!"

"But, Hermione," Lavender gave her pout that had so many guys falling at her feet, "It's for a good cause."

"For study!"

"For Professor Sinistra."

I sighed. I was not in the mood to listen to their whinings all day. "Alright. But!" I warned, as they both began to bounce again. "I do have my limits."

They both nodded. "Of course, Hermione." "Whatever you say."

I wondered what Stella and Bonnie, our two other dorm mates, would have to say about this. I hoped they would object. They were both much more accustomed to and shielded against Lavender and Parvati's attempts at convincing.

Apparently, they were both fine with the idea, because the very next day...

"I have an announcement!"

Everyone fell silent as Dumbledore stood. "I am sure that you are all aware as to what holiday is quickly approaching." There were murmured noises of agreement, and a few of disapproval. I was among those of disapproval. "I have recently been informed that our Gryffindor Sixth Year girls are going to begin a... a kissing booth, of sorts." There were chuckles and cat calls from several of the boys. Harry threw me an incredulous look down the table, and I slid down in my seat to hide underneath the table. "Five Knuts for a kiss, is what I have been told. A rather fair price, I must say." His eyes twinkled, and I swear that he looked directly at me. "The booth will be open every lunch period from now until the fourteenth."

I sighed. As it was only the seventh, that meant an entire week of kissing. I could not eat any more, and bowed my head into my hands, trying not to think about it. Thankfully, I did not have to worry about it long, because the bell rang for the first class and we filed out of the Hall.

I was dreading the end of Double Potions that day. Usually, I looked forward to getting out of the dungeons and away from Professor Snape. But that particular day, Potions was the last class before lunch. As the lunch bell rang, I seemed to move in slow motion, trying my hardest to get to the Hall as late as possible. Draco Malfoy, Crabbe, and Goyle seemed to be thinking along the same lines. A quill fell underneath my desk, and I crouched down to get it. I heard Malfoy talking and listened closely.

"I wonder if anyone will pay to kiss the Mudblood," I heard one of the thugs mutter.

Malfoy chuckled, then seemed to think for a moment. "I think I will. Just to see the look on Potty and the Weasel's faces. I bet Weasel will explode." Their laughs echoed down the hallway as I stood, my face ashen.

Walking to the Great Hall, my heart seemed ready to beat its way out of my chest. I sat with the other girls and ate slowly through my lunch, hoping that they would not start until we were all finished. Halfway through the period, Dumbledore stood.

"I believe that the kissing booth should be opening right about now." The girls around me erupted into giggles, and I blushed a Weasley shade of red. It was then that I noticed a table with a pink tablecloth, a box for the money, and several chairs in the corner. Obviously, this was to be the kissing booth. We got up and walked to the table. I lagged behind the others. Lavender passed around a case of mints and I took two, just to be safe. I heard a slight scuffle and looked up, amazed at how many boys seemed to have... appeared in our school.

It really was not all that bad, as I reflect upon it. Harry, Ron, and Neville each came up. Ron blushed purple to the roots of his hair as Lavender gave him a peck on the cheek. Apparently, that was all we were supposed to do, give them a peck on the cheek, because that was all that they expected. I was more than relieved at that revelation.

When Draco Malfoy and his cronies came up, I attempted to hide behind Lavender and Parvati, remembering what I had overhead in Potions class. It did not work as well as I had planned, however, and I did end up kissing Malfoy, and Ron did nearly explode. I brushed my teeth so vigorously afterwards that my gums began to bleed.

So many boys came up the first day, I was surprised that any came up during the last seven. I was even more surprised as the same boys came up every day. I suppose it was more the cause than the kisses that had them continuously coming up. Thankfully, though, Malfoy did not come back. The cause must not have been so important to him.

Valentine's Day finally came around. It was the last lunch of the kissing booth, and Professor Dumbledore was forcing all of the male professors to the booth. Professor Flitwick had to stand up on the table for Bonnie to reach his cheek, and nearly fell off of it when she did. Hagrid blushed a rather charming shade of pink when Stella gave him a kiss, and Stella commented afterwards that it felt like kissing a hairbrush. Professor Dumbledore paid ten Knuts and got a kiss from both Lavender and Parvati. That left me with Professor Snape. I swear that Dumbledore planned this arrangement. Snape reluctantly placed a handful of Knuts on the surface in front of me, and I leaned across the table. As my lips skimmed across his skin, there was a flash of light. We both looked down, startled, as Colin Creevey lowered his camera, took one look at Snape's face, and bolted. Snape glowered at me, as if I had planned the entire thing, and swooped out of the Hall.

I bit back a smile. 'A picture is worth a thousand words,' I thought to myself. I picked up the ten - not five - Knuts on the table in front of me. 'Apparently, that one is worth five Knuts. I wonder if I can grab a copy.'