Fear and Loathing

He who makes a beast of himself

Gets rid of the pain of being a man.

Dr. Johnson

We were on the out skirts of London, when the drugs began to take hold.

I remember saying something like, "I feel a little light headed, maybe you should drive."

Then, with what can only be described as huge bats, came screeching and swooping all around the car and the was a voice yelling, "Holly Jesus what are these god damn animals."

"Did you say something?" Ron asked.

"Never mind, it's your turn to drive." No point telling him about these bats, he will see them soon enough that poor son of a bitch.

Ron and I switch places, I starts going through a brief case. We had 2 bags of grass, 75 pellets of mescaline, 5 sheets of high power blotter acid, a saltshaker full of cocaine, and a whole galaxy of uppers, downers, screamers, laughers. Also we had a quart of tequila, a quart of rum, case of beer, and pint of raw ether. Not that we need all that for the trip, but when you get locked into a serious drug collection, the tendency is to push as far as you can.

The only thing that really worried me was the ether. There is nothing in the world more helpless, unreasonable, and depraved as a man in the depths of an ether binge. And I knew that we would get into that rotten stuff pretty soon.

One toke over the line...came on the radio.

"One toke over the line," Ron sang.

"One toke you poor fool, wait 'til you see those god damn bats."

It was at this point that we see a hitchhiker, going the same direction we were.

"Why not give the boy a lift?" Ron questioned.

"What?! No! We can't stop here, this is bat country."

But despite my protest, Ron pulled over to let this muggle boy in.

"Hot damn, I never rid in a convertible," the boy said.

"Is that right, well I guess you're about ready then." I said.

"Were your friends, not like those other people," Ron said

The boy got in the car, and we were off. But how long could we maintain, before one of us starts jabbering at this boy, about bats, potions, and magic? How long could we last? What will he think then? Would he understand that we were telling the truth, that there is magic? Well then, we would just have to chop his head off and bury him, because it goes with out saying that we can't turn him loose. He would report us at once to some muggle police station and they would run us down like dogs. "Jesus did I say that" or think it. Was I talking, did they hear me? Maybe I better have a chat with this boy. Perhaps if I explain everything he would rest easy.

"There is one thing that you should probably understand. Can you hear me!! Good. I want you to have all the background. This is a very important assignment, with parallels of grave danger and personal risk. I'm the Boy Who Lived. This is important god damn it!"

Ron starts yelling, "What the hell are you talking about Harry, watch what you say!!"

Our vibrations were getting nasty, but why? Was there no communication in this car? Had we sunk to the level of dumb beasts?

"There is something you should know about the man at the wheel, he's not just some idiot I picked on the street, he is my side kick fought with him for years. Oh shit, I forgot about the beer, do you want some?"

"No."

"How about some ether?"

"What?"

"Never mind. So lets get to the heart of this. 24 hours ago...