Between Love and War

Chapter 7

April 1979

It was exactly like Lucius to do something like this.

He and Vivian had just finished having sex. She was lying on her side with her head on his shoulder, and he was absently running his fingers through her hair. He spoke suddenly, startling Vivian. "Narcissa's pregnant."

Vivian lifted her head and smiled. "Congratulations!"

"Yeah, we're really happy. I'm hoping it's a boy. Rudolphus said..."

Vivian tuned out as he started to babble. Some aspect of his tone alerted Vivian to the fact that something was wrong. She wondered what it was. From what she knew, Lucius and Narcissa had been trying to have an heir since their wedding night. She waited patiently for him to get to the point.

"Anyway, I've been thinking about this a bit and I think that now that Narcissa's pregnant, you and I should stop seeing each other."

Vivian sat straight up. A voice in her head was yelling, Take this badly. You should take it badly, at the same time that another voice was telling her that he had no right to do this to her and yet another reminded her that Sirius was available. She put her hands on the sides of her head, trying to relieve the headache she was getting. "Oh, wow, that came out of nowhere."

"Are you okay?"

"Yeah, I'm just... No, I'm not okay! I can't believe you're breaking up with me. I can't believe you slept with me and then broke up with me." She swatted at him with her hand. "You are such a bastard!"

"Vivian,-"

"No, why now? How does Narcissa getting pregnant change anything?"

"Narcissa feels that--"

"Oh, you said you were thinking. It makes more sense now."

"Don't interrupt me."

"The only person I don't interrupt is Bellatrix."

"I'm capable of using the Cruciatus too."

"What? So first you break up with me, then you threaten to curse me. You--" She held up her hands as though she wanted to strangle him, then made a show of calming herself. She continued talking in a much more collected voice. "I'm not taking this well, Lucius. I think you should leave."

"Why?"

Vivian purposefully let her cool slip a little. "Why? You're asking me why? Because you just broke up with me. It seems to me that when..." She collected herself again. "that if we're no longer in a relationship, then you shouldn't be in my bed. I need time to deal with this."

"Okay." Lucius got up and started to dress.

"Wait." Vivian sighed. "Is there any way I can talk you out of this?" She was now kneeling on the bed with her sheet wrapped around her.

Lucius shrugged. "You could try."

Vivian decided she had ten seconds to figure out whether to try or to throw a pillow at him. "Try with words?"

Lucius looked her up and down, so she chose to throw the pillow. It hit him in the head. She almost laughed at the expression on his face, but remembered that she was supposed to be angry.

"Why did you do that?"

"Because you were going to have sex with me again and then break up with me anyway. All you care about is sex."

"You're my mistress. I don't know why you don't understand that that is a sexual role."

"Well, I'm not your mistress anymore." She paused. "This has nothing to do with Narcissa getting pregnant. That was just a convenient excuse for her. We were together for so long that she started to get nervous."

Lucius shook his head. "Narcissa knows that you're not a threat to her."

"Yeah, you should just leave. You never understood the balance between... Here's some advice for the next time you have a mistress: Without actually saying it, lead her to believe that you might someday leave Narcissa for her. Trust me, it'll make all the difference."

Lucius rolled his eyes, as if he thought she was being childish. "I'm sorry it had to end this way."

Vivian laughed so hard she fell over. Lucius pulled on his shoes and left without another word. On his way out, he looked over at her as if she were suffering from a mental breakdown.

When he was gone, she sat up suddenly. What was she going to do now? This wasn't the worst thing to happen. She probably should have moved on months ago. She wondered how hard it would be to find another Death Eater lover. She had a feeling that Lucius would make some ridiculous statement that would make it known that she was untouchable. Of course, that was probably just ego talking. She made a mental list of acceptable marks. There weren't that many, and none were as good as Lucius. She wondered if she could get Evan back.

~*~*~*~*~

At work the next day, Vivian asked Benjy for his advice. He advised her, as always, to slow down. He thought she should wait before finding a new boyfriend, but by the third day, Vivian was getting impatient. She had a feeling that something big was going to happen and now she was on the outside.

Vivian looked up from her lunch. Sara had just sat at the table with her. Vivian was about to ask her why when Sara started to speak in low, hushed tones.

"I am pregnant. And I tried to tell my boyfriend, but he proposed to me before I had a chance. Then in the excitement, I forgot to tell him about the baby."

"Er, Sara,--"

"No, no, don't worry. I remembered eventually. He knows, but I couldn't tell him about the magic thing."

"Sara, we're not friends."

Sara looked taken aback and started to stand. "Oh, I'm so sorry. I didn't mean to--"

"No, Sara, sit down. I didn't mean that... in a mean way. I just-- I thought that you hated me. I'm a little confused as to why you're here."

Sara sank back into her seat. "You're right. We're not friends and we're never going to be friends. I wanted to talk to someone different. I want someone to talk me out of marrying Patrick, and since I no longer think you're an evil bitch, I thought it could be you."

Suddenly, Vivian was interested. "Why would I talk you out of it?"

"Because he's a Muggle."

"Oh, right. Well, if you're having doubts, it's okay to call off the engagement without getting a second opinion."

"I'm not having doubts exactly. I just want to see if my resolve could withstand your attack on him."

"It's been my experience that personal attacks strengthen a person's resolve. And I'm not going to attack..."

"Patrick."

"Patrick. I don't even know him."

"But he's a Muggle."

"It's true that, as a point of history, Muggle-Wizarding world relations have not been entirely peaceful. There's a good chance that if you told Patrick, he would be less than receptive to the news."

"Word it more strongly."

"Sara, I don't know what to tell you. I personally have a Muggle for a father. There is a culture gap that I don't think my parents ever successfully overcame. But you're a halfblood, maybe it would be easier for you than it was for my mother. It'll be difficult regardless. He'll never really understand our world. He'll never really fit in."

"So you think it's doomed?"

"I didn't say that. That's something you and he have to decide together."

"No, say-- Oh." Sara looked exasperated. "I want you to talk me out of it. Is that so hard to understand?"

Vivian smiled. "Sara, I don't know anything about him except that he's a Muggle."

"He's Irish. I would have to move to Ireland."

"He lives in Ireland?"

"Yes."

"Why on earth would you start a long-term relationship with a Muggle who lives so far away? You don't like things easy, do you?"

Sara shrugged, as if she didn't understand what the problem was. "Well, with apparation, it's not all that difficult."

"Wait, does he think you live in Ireland?"

"Yes, but can you start talking me out of this now?"

Vivian thought for a second. "The only thing I can think of is the culture gap."

"You are completely useless." Sara got up and walked away.

Vivian wondered if this Ireland development would mean that Sara would be leaving her job. She figured not because life wouldn't be that kind.

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

Vivian sat in her living room. It had been a week since the break-up and she didn't want to wait any longer. She was going over what she wanted to say to Evan one last time before going to see him when there was a knock at her door.

She opened it to find Sirius standing in the doorway. He pushed past her into the flat. It looked as though he'd been crying, and it smelled as though he'd been drinking.

"I just thought you'd like to know that Adeline Stader is dead."

Vivian gasped. "Adeline? Was she-- Why would they kill her?"

Sirius sat on the couch. "She was a Muggleborn. What more reason did he need?"

"Who was it?"

"Wilkes."

Vivian hadn't spoken to Adeline since they had left school, and they had only been friends in the loosest sense of the word. Still, this was the first person Vivian had really known who had been killed in this war. She felt lightheaded and sat in the armchair. "Why though? Was it just random? 'There's a mudblood; I think I'll kill her.'"

"As far as I can tell, yes. Wilkes made an attempt on... Dorcas's life a few days ago--" Sirius's voice cracked when he said Dorcas's name.--"and he failed spectacularly because she was... She was a wonderful..." Vivian caught the past tense and realized why Sirius's eyes were bloodshot. "Anyway, he failed and was, we're thinking, punished and decided to let off some steam by killing a Muggleborn."

"What happened to Dorcas?" she asked gently, wondering if he would still refuse to talk about her.

"She was killed by You-Know-Who personally. I guess if you want something done right..." He took a deep, shuddering breath.

"Are you okay?"

"Yeah, it was two days ago. I've coped."

"I know that you cared deeply for her. It's okay if--"

"I don't want to talk about Dorcas."

"All right, so you came to tell me about Adeline. Thank you."

Sirius sighed. "Actually I came here to attack you for supporting those people, but then I remembered that you're one of the good guys."

"Oh."

"I was going to ask you how you could stay with Lucius given that-- I just forgot for a minute."

"I'm not actually with Lucius anymore. He broke it off." Vivian didn't know why she felt the need to make that clear. The man was obviously grieving.

"Why?"

"Because Narcissa's pregnant. As if that even makes sense."

"What are you going to do?"

"I'm going to find someone else. Someone single this time."

"What if... What if I want rebound sex now?"

The abruptness of his question startled Vivian. "Actually I meant a single Death Eater."

"I know, but you're single now. We don't have to worry about Lucius anymore." He leaned forward. "I want you, Vivian."

Vivian shook her head. "No, you don't. You want to get your mind off of what's happened. You want... That's not even rebound sex; it's grieving sex."

Sirius smiled hollowly. "It doesn't matter what you call it. Rebounding and grieving are the same thing."

"You'll regret it in the morning, because Dorcas will still be dead. Sex isn't going to change that and it isn't going to hurt less."

"This isn't about Dorcas. She and I had already broken up. We were flirting. This is a natural progression. It has nothing to do with her."

Vivian hesitated. "I don't think you are coping with her death. You'd rather have sex than talk about it. It sounds like you're avoiding it."

"That's what men do."

"Can I say something?"

Sirius shrugged. "It's your flat."

"I was thinking that maybe you feel like you don't have the right to grieve as deeply as you want to because of the break-up. It's okay to grieve for your ex-girlfriend."

"Yes, that's what James told me, and that's what Remus told me, and Peter and Lily too. I'm not here to talk about Dorcas or to grieve for her."

"Right, because we're not friends. You just want to--"

"We are friends. I'm just not in the mood to talk about my feelings."

"I'm not going to sleep with you."

"That's what you say now."

Vivian shook her head. "You can't seduce me."

"I love a challenge."

"No, that wasn't a challenge. That's me telling you not to try. So, flirting is your comfort zone, isn't it?"

"Are you analyzing me? That is so cute."

"Well, it just occurred to me that I've bared my soul to you, but you've never told me anything personal. I think it's time I ask questions."

"What makes you think I'll be any more forthcoming now?"

Vivian leaned forward in her chair. "Because you're trying to seduce me. Full disclosure is very sexy. Details make me hot."

"You have a knack for..." He trailed off, unable to find the right words.

"For what?"

"Getting people to do what you want. That's why you're a good spy."

It was only then Vivian remembered that he'd had alcohol on his breath. He hadn't slurred or stumbled, but he was clearly a little intoxicated. "So you will actually tell me anything I want to know in hopes that I'll have sex with you?"

"No, but it was a good try."

Vivian smiled. "You would have if I hadn't put it like that."

"Why don't you come sit by me on the couch?"

"Sirius, honestly, what do we really have to talk about?"

"Tell me about your job. How much work is there really for potions healers?"

"Well, you may not realize this, but eighty-seven percent of all our patients require some type of potion or salve at some point in their stay."

"That is fascinating."

"I know what you're doing. You're feigning interest because I said I was drawn to you by the way you listen to me."

"You're very perceptive."

Vivian stood and walked over to the couch. She knew that the moment she sat down she would be opening herself up to his seduction and she sat down anyway. "Lucius's ploys were so much more obvious, but I pretended I had no idea what he was doing. It's so great to be with someone with whom I can say, 'I'm not an idiot.' Not 'with someone' in the-- never mind."

"How did you seduce Lucius anyway?"

"I didn't seduce him; he seduced me. Well, he didn't seduce me, but he made the first move."

"And what was that?"

"He put his hand on my thigh. And before you put your hand on my thigh, I want to remind you that I'm still not an idiot."

"Neither am I. You came over here. You want to be seduced."

"I..." Vivian bit her lip.

"And now you're biting your lip to bring attention to your mouth. You have nice lips, by the way."

"I still think you're avoiding the issue."

Sirius leaned in closer. "Is that really so bad? I'm in pain, Vivian. Won't you please comfort me?"

"That was so corny--"Yet Vivian felt shivers run through her body."--But effective. Just tell me, flirting is your crutch, isn't it?"

Sirius smiled a slow, seductive smile. "Yeah, I guess it is."

"What makes you think I'm a one night stand kind of woman?"

"What makes you think I'm looking for a one night stand?"

That surprised Vivian. "Because this isn't how you ask someone out."

"Do you want to go out sometime?"

Vivian laughed. "I can't."

"Can I kiss you? I just want to kiss you."

Vivian rolled her eyes. "Sirius, I know--" She was going to tell him that she knew that the kiss would lead to touching which would lead to sex, but he stopped the words with his mouth. As she predicted, it wasn't long until his hands started to wander, and before she knew it they were in the bedroom and she was wondering why she had held out for so long.

However moments after Vivian had been relieved of her clothing, she heard a noise come from the living room. "There's someone out there," Vivian whispered. "Stay here." She grabbed a sheet from the bed and wrapped it around herself. Clutching her wand, Vivian opened the bedroom door. When she saw who was in the living room, she shut the door quickly behind her and stepped farther into the room. "Lucius! Why are you here?"

"I came to see you."

"Wait, but you broke in?"

Lucius waved his hand. The breaking and entering was obviously inconsequential to him. "What were you doing?"

Vivian looked down at her sheet. "Sleeping."

Lucius's expressionless eyes seemed to bore into hers. "With who?"

"Lucius, we broke up. I don't see how that's any--" As she talked, Lucius walked past her to the bedroom. Vivian looked at the wand in her hand, but knew she wasn't going to curse him. She walked up behind him and was relieved to see that Sirius was dressed and sitting on the bed.

"Hi, Vivian. Did you know that you have anti-disapparation wards up in your bedroom?"

She opened her mouth to speak, but was cut off by Lucius's drawl. "She was too lazy to differentiate between anti-apparation and disapparation wards, or to do anything fancy like person recognition."

Vivian pushed past him and stood by the bed. "Charms aren't really my thing." She tried to think her way out of this, but nothing came to mind.

"You know, Sirius, it's odd to me that you're with Vivian when a month ago she said she thought the Dark Lord's work is commendable. She was specifically fond of the mudblood killings."

Vivian decided she certainly wasn't going to get herself killed over this. "Fond may be too strong of a word. But--" She turned to Sirius. "--I'm not too broken up about it."

"Not too broken up? You're a healer. Aren't you supposed to save lives?"

"Lives that matter, Sirius." She hoped he knew that this was for Lucius's sake.

"That's horrible. That isn't even... God, you're such a cold-hearted bitch."

"And you are a disgrace to purebloods everywhere and to the Black name. In fact, they should have forced you to change your surname when they disowned you."

"To what, Snape? That name certainly doesn't carry any clout."

Outwardly, Vivian was seething. "We may not have money or power, but at least we-- I can't believe I slept with you." Sirius raised his eyebrows. "I hate you."

"The feeling's mutual."

"Yeah, well... Get off my bed!" Sirius stood and Vivian sat down.

Lucius, who had been watching this exchange with interest, finally spoke up. "How did you two end up in bed together?"

Vivian looked up at him. "Oh, Lucius, I can't even explain it. We were arguing and suddenly there was this unbelievable sexual tension." She hoped Lucius wouldn't ask why or where they had been arguing.

"Passions were flaring. Right before it happened, I didn't know if I wanted to kiss her or kill her," added Sirius.

"I mean there really is a thin line between--"

"Love and hate."

"Lust and hate. I don't love you. Don't finish my sentences."

"I don't take orders from you."

"Why are you still here? I want you out of my flat."

Sirius adopted a boyish grin. "You're just saying that because loverboy is here."

"Don't--" Vivian turned to Lucius. "Why are you here, Lucius?

"I heard that since the break-up you've been acting weird. I wanted to make sure you weren't going to do anything reckless or stupid." He looked over at Sirius.

Vivian decided to ignore the fact that she had not in any way been acting weird and exclaimed, "Yes! Exactly! This was just reckless and stupid and impulsive and stupid." She fell onto her back, hit herself in the head with heel of her hand, and mouthed "stupid."

"You didn't think it was so stupid when you were screaming my name. Hey, Malfoy, did Vivian--"

Vivian sat up and put up her wand faster than she knew was possible. "Don't you dare talk to him! Get out of my flat."

Sirius sighed and finally left. As she watched him go, Vivian decided that if Lucius had screwed this thing with Sirius up for her, she would curse him. Once Sirius was gone, she turned to Lucius and said, "Lucius, I'm sorry about all this. But you don't have to worry about me. I'm not going to do anything else stupid. I'll be okay."

"I just wanted to make sure."

Again, Vivian was struck with the thought that she had not been acting weird since the break-up. It occurred to her that he had probably come over in hopes of having one last fling. "That's really very sweet, but I think you should leave too. Go home to your wife."

Lucius seemed reluctant to go, but he did. Vivian figured this night wasn't a complete wash for him. After all, now he could go to Evan and gloat that she had fallen as low as one night stands with notorious blood traitors. She could use that to her advantage though.

For a minute, Vivian tried to will Sirius to come back using telepathy. She quickly gave up, deciding that the professors were right; outside of Legilimency, it really wasn't a valid form of magic. She pulled on a cotton nightgown and settled into bed before she realized that it was only nine thirty. So Vivian lay there trying to decide what to do with the rest of her night. It wasn't long before there was a knock on the door. Vivian opened the door and again found Sirius standing there. She smiled. "Come in. I was hoping you'd come back."

Sirius strode into the flat. "I figured I'd give you ten minutes and if Malfoy was still here,... I hadn't really worked that part out."

"You were jealous? I sent him away right after you left."

"That was brilliant, by the way."

"Yeah, I was just... I didn't really know where I was going with that, but you're the one who caught on and made it brilliant."

Sirius took a step closer. "I think we were both brilliant." He leaned in and started to kiss her.

Once again, Vivian felt herself getting lost in his kiss, but this time she managed to push him away. "No, I don't think you're good for me, Sirius Black. You get me all flustered and I lose my self-control around you. In fact, I don't even want to sleep with you now; you'll just think I'm a slut."

"I don't think you're a slut."

"We have never been on a date and you've already seen me naked. That's a little slutty. And anyway, if I'm with you, a blood traitor, I won't be able to do my job anymore."

"We have other spies. The only thing we don't have is someone on the inside. Are you now willing to become a Death Eater?"

Vivian shook her head. "No. I can barely choke back the vomit when Lucius describes the murders and torture. I couldn't handle actually being there."

"Then you are not indispensable in that role. There are other ways to help the Order. You can work in research and development."

"There are so many things wrong with that plan. One, I'm not good with research. That's not what I do. Two,--"

"Everyone is good at research in some capacity. You don't have to be creating potions."

"Two, don't you think it's a little selfish for you to ask me to stop spying for the Order for your own petty gratification?" She gave him a pointed look. "Three, they all know me as this extremist pureblood. No, I'm going to find myself another Death Eater and keep doing what I do."

"You could have a change of heart. See the error of your ways. We'll make it work."

"That's just not realistic. It would lead people to-- You know the only way it would work, right?"

"How?"

"I still have to be a whore. I lost my Malfoy meal ticket so I've latched onto a Black. The rumors will be even worse. I don't want to be called a whore anymore."

"They're not going to call you a whore."

"Yes, they are. I'll be a gold-digging whore who doesn't care either way what happens to the Muggleborns as long as I... Oh, but that's how you thought of me when we met."

Sirius looked thoughtful. "Not a gold-digging whore, more an ambitious schemer."

"That is better. And you realize that you wouldn't be able to say anything to Lucius, for my own protection. You'd have to stand there while he says in his lazy, drawling way, 'It's quite odd that you're with Vivian when she commended me for killing...' whomever it was that he killed."

Vivian had started to pace, and Sirius's eyes followed her back and forth. "One, I don't think he'd openly confess to murder. Two, I could say something along the lines of 'Vivian's starting to realize she was wrong about that.'"

"To which he would respond, 'Maybe. Or maybe she's just a whore, selling herself to the highest bidder and you're stupid enough to fall for it.'"

"Could you stop calling yourself a whore?"

"That was Lucius calling me a whore. Anyway, this is an academic discussion for me. I'm not giving up spying."

"Are you turning me down?"

Vivian stopped and laughed. "Yes, I am. Don't tell me this is the first time that's ever happened."

"Er, I think it is. I can't remember any other incidence where I was coming on this strong."

"Well, we all have to make sacrifices. It appears your love life has taken a real hit. Sorry about that. Maybe when this is all over, we can see if there's anything there, but I'm not going to stop spying for something so uncertain."

"I'm glad that you are so devoted to the cause. You're right, of course." He sank onto the couch.

"Yes, especially when we add the fact that you are rebounding to the equation. It's a big risk to take."

"It's not rebounding. I've always wanted you."

"See, if that were true you would have me by now. You could have had me years ago."

"When, exactly? The time I held you against your will in a large closet? Because you specifically said--"

"You could have had anytime you wanted. So I have to ask myself what has changed. It couldn't possibly be that you want to use me to get over Dorcas, could it?" When Sirius opened his mouth to deny it, Vivian had another thought. "Or what if you just want to stick it to Lucius? Did you see that muscle twitching in his jaw when he walked in on you in my bedroom? You must have loved that."

He rolled his eyes. "You're being paranoid."

"Or is just because I'm playing hard to get? Face it, Sirius, you're too big of a gamble."

Sirius laughed. "You think everyone has an ulterior motive. That must be a Slytherin thing."

"You rebuffed my advances every chance you got and now suddenly--"

"So which is it? Were you playing hard to get or was I rebuffing your advances. It's interesting how you've rewritten history. I didn't turn you down. You never made any advances. If you remember, the entire rebound sex conversation was prefaced with you saying that nothing could ever happen between us."

"Right and it still can't."

Sirius shook his head. "That doesn't even make sense in context."

"Sure it does. You're just drunk."

"I only had two... three? I'm not drunk. Please, explain how it makes sense. I love the way you twist things to justify what you've said."

"Sirius, how am I supposed to remember everything I just said?"

"So are you admitting that you speak randomly with no forethought?"

"No, I will never admit that." Vivian sighed. "Whether or not I actually made advances during the rebounding conversation, its clear that you were continually interpreting my actions as offers for sex and refusing to take me up on it. You told Remus that you turned me down. Apparently, you twist the facts to serve your own purposes as well. However, regardless of what was really happening in that conversation, I did then, and still do, believe that given our current situation nothing can happen between us." Vivian paused for a second. "That is as things currently stand nothing can happen, but there may come a time in the future where things are different. There, that addresses everything."

"Very nice. So what are you going to do now?"

"I have comprised a short list of acceptable Death Eaters. I want one who's not married or involved with anyone this time. It's a very short list. It's basically Avery and Rosier."

"You forgot Rookwood. He's a widower."

"Yes, and the same age as my dad. So, I don't think Avery would actually date Lucius's ex-girlfriend. Rosier, on the other hand, has a bit of a grudge against Lucius and it's mostly centered on me. So, I'm thinking of trying to get back together with Rosier. He just might go for it."

"Do you realize that... Remus always suspected that we had slept together, and now... Now Lucius thinks we have. I mean we told him we did. Pretty soon everyone is going to think we did and--" He was interrupted by a loud, insistent knock on the door.

Vivian waved her hand at Sirius. "Go back in the bedroom." As he proceeded to do so, Vivian walked to the door. Seconds before reaching her front door, something struck in the back. She turned around to see that Sirius had thrown a bathrobe at her. It was then that she realized that she was still wearing only a nightgown. As she pulled on the robe, she called out, "It'll be just a minute."

Vivian heard muttering on the other side of the door and knew without a doubt that her brother had come to visit. When she opened the door, Severus took one look at her in her bathrobe and said, "So it's true."

Vivian stood aside to give him passage into the flat. "What's true?"

"You and Sirius Black."

Vivian thought quickly. They told Lucius that they had had sex. If she now told Severus differently, that would imply a certain level of cooperation between Sirius and herself. "I'm curious, why were you the first person Lucius went to?"

"I was hoping you were going to deny it."

"What would be the point in denying it?"

Severus glanced suspiciously at the bedroom door. "Is he still here?"

"No, Lucius saw him leave."

"How did this happen?"

"Why are you taking such an active interest in my sex life? If I found out that you had shagged some girl," She visibly shuddered. "My first words would be, 'Please, for the love of Merlin, spare me the details.' So, I will mercifully spare you the details of this disastrous, foolish night and say only this: It was a mistake and it's not going to happen again." She started to walk toward the kitchen. She didn't know what she was going to do in the kitchen, but it seemed like a natural thing to do.

"I don't think you understand, Vivian. You had sex with Sirius Black, the bane of my existence and a filthy blood traitor. He's been disowned; there's no money there."

She stopped dead in her tracks. "Did you-- Are-- Did you just imply that I only sleep with men to get their money?"

"Yeah, I did. Only you screwed up this time. Is that why it won't happen again?"

She pointed to the door. "Get out. I can't talk to you when you're... And talk to your mate Lucius, because I never... Just get out of my flat."

"So now you're choosing Sirius over me?"

"Sirius Black does not even factor into this. I'm throwing you out because you're just... insulting me and I don't have to put up with that in my own home. And not that it's any of your business, but I had sex with him one time. It was a mistake."

"One time, right. But I seem to remember you talking to him all the time in school."

"I talked to him maybe four times, and it was to find out what happened to you. And once I found out, I stopped talking to him."

"And yet you never even hinted to me that you knew about what he had done. And then Remus shows up one night, expecting you to help him."

"Because he knew that I knew! What are you implying now? That I've been having a secret affair with Sirius for years?"

"Have you?"

"No! Tonight was just a-- Do you really think I would do that to Lucius? I was upset about the break up and acted recklessly. It wasn't about money or spiting you or having a torrid love affair with a sworn enemy. It was rebounding, pure and simple."

"How did you even run into Sirius?"

Vivian considered the question for a second and decided the truth was the best answer, or at least a version of the truth. "Sirius stopped by the flat to inform me that Wilkes killed a friend of mine. He wanted to throw it in my face that I'm a... whatever it is that I am. To be honest, I think he might have had a bit of a crush on me in school and is disappointed with where my loyalties lie. He tried to convert me once, you know."

Much to Vivian's dismay, Severus sat on the couch. "No, I didn't know that."

"Oh, well, he did. Anyway, we got into a verbal battle over ideologies and one thing led to another."

"I've never had one thing lead to another in a situation like that."

"Yes, well that's another reason I think he had a crush on me; he initiated everything. It was really quite shocking for me, but then I thought-- Actually that's where the retelling stops. We were about to cross a disgusting line there. That should be more than enough anyway. I don't have to justify myself to you."

"I just don't want you to get in over your head with Black. The Dark Lord does not look kindly on blood traitors."

Vivian fought the urge to look at her bedroom door. She realized how close her brother had come to saying that he's a Death Eater and that there was an auror trainee on the other side of that door who could hear everything. "Yes, I know. Thanks for the advice, but I'm still kicking you out." She pulled him to his feet. "Don't worry about me so much. I make mistakes sometimes, but generally, I know what I'm doing."

Severus reluctantly stood. "I'm sorry I implied that--"

"It's okay. It's over; let's just forget about it," said Vivian as she ushered him out the door. "Have a nice night. Goodbye."

Severus opened his mouth to protest, but Vivian closed the door in his face. She turned around to see Sirius exiting her bedroom and held her finger to her lips. After ten seconds she opened to door to make sure that her brother had truly left. Sirius came up behind her and closed the door. She realized that he had pinned her against the door. This was the third time he had done this and each time was decidedly more sexually charged than the last. She figured the fourth time she would end up ripping his clothes off, but that was knowledge he did not need. She found herself getting annoyed with Sirius and all she wanted was for him to leave.

"Is Severus a Death Eater?"

Vivian gasped. She took a couple breaths and said, "No, not yet, thank goodness. I've been... telling him to... I don't want to talk about my brother."

"Okay."

Vivian whirled around. "Tell me what you ulterior motive is."

Sirius looked confused and took a step back. "Where did that come from?"

"It has been my experience that everyone has an ulterior motive. Lucius had one."

"You mean that he spent time with you because he wanted to shag you? I'm not going to deny that--"

"No, he seduced me away from Evan to hurt him. I was the means for revenge. According to Severus, the situation was barely satisfactory for him. He didn't want to shag me; he wanted to hurt Evan. Men have ulterior motives. What's yours?"

"So one father abandoned you and the other hit you. You're not screwed up about sex, just men."

Vivian closed her eyes and took a deep breath. When she opened them again, she said, "I was right. I suspected that Lucius had an agenda that had nothing to do with sex and I was right. How does that make me screwed up about men?" He started to speak, but she cut him off. "No, no, fine. I will admit that my experiences with my father, my uncle-slash-real-father, my brother, Evan, Lucius, and every other man I have known has led me to have certain beliefs about men. You call that screwed up; I call it realistic."

"And then you'll never get hurt, right?"

"Just tell me what your ulterior motive is. Honestly, I will be much more apt to have sex with you if you tell me. Is it solace or to irritate Lucius or something else? What really brought you to my flat tonight?"

"Wait a minute. If all men have ulterior motives it is to have sex. Men do not need another motive to have sex. Where does your insecurity come from?"

"No! No, we are done analyzing me. Let's analyze you and your motives."

"I already told you. If you want an ulterior motive, I will give you one. I will spell it out for you. I want to have sex with you. I was brought to your flat tonight by a desire to have sex with you. It's that simple."

"I understand that, but--"

"Actually I really did come to tell you about Adeline."

"No, okay, I understand the part about the sex, but why do you want to have sex with me? You could have any woman you want. I have watched Sara throw herself at you despite the fact that she is pregnant with another man's child. Why?"

"Why does Sara throw herself at me or why--"

Vivian rolled her eyes. "The other thing."

"Why do I want you? You're constantly sending me mixed signals, you have abandonment issues, you--"

"I don't have abandonment issues. I don't know how you get that from anything I've done."

"You don't understand why anyone would want you because your parents didn't even want you. That's an issue stemming from your abandonment."

"No, but they are not my parents. I have parents who love me. I don't feel abandoned and I don't fear it either."

"Then why do you--"

"Wait, no, we're not analyzing me anymore. I forgot."

"Then don't argue with me. Where was I? Abandonment issues combined with fear of getting stuck in an abusive cycle. That's why you like being a spy. It allows you to hold people at arm's length. You only get close to the enemy and you have to avoid allies. You--"

Vivian sat on the couch. "My not arguing won't prevent you from analyzing me. You're still doing it, and now it isn't even related to the question. Why do you want me?"

"I don't know why. Do I have to have a reason?"

Vivian sighed. "No."

"Why do you keep changing your mind? Where did this sudden hostility come from? If Lucius hadn't shown up, we would be have sex right now."

"I'm sure we would be done by now."

"You're avoiding the question."

"You're the one with all the answers, Sirius. I'm sure you'll be able to twist some aspect of my childhood to explain it."

"Well, that sounded like a nice way to segue into asking me to leave."

"How perceptive. I think you should be leaving now, Sirius."

Sirius nodded and headed for the door. "One of these days you're going to change your mind and I can't guarantee that I'll still be available then."

Vivian laughed incredulously. "I'm willing to take that chance. In fact, I intend to be unavailable myself in a few days. I'm not doing anyone any good by being single."

"That's good, hide behind your work. Then you won't be at any risk of feeling something."

"Oh, you're going on the offensive now. That's interesting. Have a nice life, Sirius."

He opened the door and smirked. "This isn't over. I'll see you soon, Vivian."

She watched him leave and wondered why she enjoyed their banter so much. "I do not have abandonment issues," she said aloud. She considered sitting down and working out the possible causes of every one of his personality quirks but then she remembered that she had no intention of talking to him again. She didn't allow herself to question why that was. She certainly wasn't going to admit to herself that in all of his analysis he may have gotten some things right.