Talk is Cheap

Chapter 5

"Professor..."

"Draco?"

"I... shit." Thudding noise. "Sorry, I..."

"What's wrong? What's happened? Where are you hurt?"

"I..."

"Talk, damn you!"

"Nothing. Nowhere. I - I'm safe now. Right? Safe. At least... for a little while."

Sigh. "Yes. You're safe. For a little while." Pause. "I thought... Draco, I wish I could..."

"Stop it! Just... don't."

Long silence.

"The common room. The dorm. I can't be there right now."

"That's understandable. Here, let me help you to the Hospital Wing."

"No! No, Madame Pomfrey..."

"Calm down, you foolish boy. I won't let her touch you. I'm simply getting you your own room. It wouldn't be very good if word of you sleeping in my rooms got out, now would it?"

"No. Yes. You're right. Th-thank you." Sighing noise.

Pause. "Draco?"

Silence.

"How lovely. He's fainted on me." Pause. "Probably better off for it. Well, Mr. Malfoy, let's see if we can get you to the Infirmary without half the school noticing."

~~~~~~~

"Severus, what are you...?" Pause. "He smells like blood. He's been hurt."

"I'm quite aware of that, you blithering idiot. I'm taking him to the Infirmary."

"Then why, may I ask, are you carrying him towards the west side of the castle?"

"Because, Lupin, I wish to get Draco there before any one else sees him. I'm sure you recall a certain passage behind that tapestry?"

"Ah, yes."

Silence.

Sigh. "Do you think you could perhaps pull the tapestry out of the way? I'm a bit indisposed at the moment."

"Oh. Right." Sound of fabric rustling. "Sorry."

Long silence.

"Perhaps..." Cough. "Lumos." Flash of light. "There. That's better."

"Thank you."

Chuckle. "Now, now Severus. Don't hurt yourself."

Growl.

Silence.

"Might I ask what has befallen young Mr. Malfoy?"

"You might."

Pause. "What had befallen young Mr. Malfoy?"

"Nothing I can tell you about."

"You're so contrary."

"On the contrary! I'm quite straightforward. I say exactly what I mean."

"You're an odd bastard, I'll give you that. But if you're in such a truthful mood, I believe I'll ask you a question."

"Lupin..."

"What in bloody hell... "

"Lupin..."

"... were you thinking that night?"

"Lupin - "

"Had you temporarily lost all the sanity, going up to the Whomping Willow like that? You knew better - "

"Remus!" Silence. "Not now."

"Severus..."

"Draco needs help. They'll be time for your bloody questions later, I'm afraid." Pause. "Go back to your rooms."

"But..."

"Go back to your rooms."

Sigh. "Fine. But I'll hold you to that, you know. Answering my questions."

"Fine. As long as you leave."

Rustling of fabric.

"You had best appreciate this, Mr. Malfoy."

~~~~~~~

"Why, my heavens!"

"Do you have an open bed, Poppy? A private room?"

"Why, yes, yes... right through here." Gasp. "What's happened to him? He looks - "

"Like death warmed over, I know. Don't worry, he won't die."

"I believe I'll be the judge of that."

"No. You won't. You can't examine him."

"Severus...?"

"The boy's specifically requested it. And you know if he refused medical aid you - "

"Can do nothing. I know."

"He just needs a place to heal."

Silence.

"Severus..."

"He's in a lot of pain, I'm sure, but it's nothing fatal."

"Is it..."

Silence.

"Good night, Poppy. Inform me when he wakes."

"Severus! You know very well that there are only three reasons a student would refuse help. So which is it?"

Deep breath. "From what I gather, it's quite possibly all three."

Gasp. "No! But..."

"What are we to do, Poppy? You know what I... pretend to be. You know the boy's family. You know what the situation is right now. Would you have us walk into the dragon's den? We can't do a thing. He doesn't even want our help. The whole thing is hopeless and he knows it."

Silence.

"Believe me, Poppy, no one is sorrier for it than I." Pause. "When he wakes... do you have anything for the pain?"

"We always have Muggle drugs on hand. Plenty of them, as I believe there is also a Third Year Hufflepuff with the same affliction as Mr. Malfoy."

"One last thing..."

"Yes?"

"I know it is in your nature to ask questions. I beg of you... don't."

~~~~~~~

"Our Infirmary has a new visitor, yes?"

"Yes. Draco Malfoy."

"Hmm. The right age, isn't he? Winter vacation, too. Shame to spoil it with such dark things..."

"I can't give you the details. For Draco, and for myself."

"I understand, Severus, and I have just one question. His father?"

"No. Not his father. Directly, at any rate."

"I see."

"I'm afraid he won't be in class for a few days. A week, or maybe even two."

"I'll be sure to have his work sent to him. Let him rest as long as he needs to."

"Thank you. Good night, Albus."

"Good night, Severus."

~~~~~~~

Gasp.

"Well, Mr. Malfoy, glad to see you've returned from the land of the leaving."

"Where am I?"

"Settle down, my dear."

"I... the dungeons..."

"Calm down! You're in the Infirmary. Professor Snape brought you here after you fainted."

Pause. "Fainted? I did not faint."

"Of course you didn't."

"I lost consciousness! I did not, nor will I ever, 'faint'."

Small sigh. "At any rate, how are you feeling?"

"Fine."

"Mhmm. Well, if you are hurt, I've ibuprofen, codeine, morphine. Whatever you feel up to."

Silence.

"I don't... know..."

"Haven't you taken Muggle drugs before, dear?"

Shake. "Father..." Pause. "He doesn't approve. You understand..."

"Muggles have their downfalls, I'll admit, but if you don't have magic this is certainly the next best thing. Are you sure you won't let me examine you?"

"No! I thought I'd explained - "

"Mr. Malfoy, you really must stay calm."

"I don't want - need you to examine me."

"I won't examine you. Now, please, calm down."

Silence.

Sigh. "You're in a considerable amount of pain, yes?"

Silence.

"If you won't let me examine you, I'll just have to wing it, I suppose." Rattling noise. "If you want some relief from the pain, take this. If you want to sleep, take this. Which will it be?"

Silence.

"Sleep."

"All right then. Water?"

"Yes."

"Accio Pitcher!" Dull clank. "There you are, m'dear. Swallow down one of these, and you'll be off to sleep in no time."

Swallowing noise. "Thank you."

"You are most certainly welcome. Just yell for me once you wake up, and I'll bring you some more. Some food too. Nothing too heavy, I should think." Rustle of papers. Sigh. "I do so dislike the first day back from break."

Sound of a door shutting.

Hoarse laughter.

~~~~~~~

Sigh. "You're so annoying sometimes."

"Oh, just shut up and get over yourself."

"Well, excuse me for trying to help."

"If we wanted your help, we'd ask for it." Pause. "See? No one wants your help."

"Oh, honestly - "

"Enough!"

Silence.

"Look. No one else wants to say it, so I will. Because I'm Harry Potter, and therefore do stupid things that may land me in bodily harm. So pay attention." Deep breath. "You still love him. He still loves you. You're still head over heels, and you're perfectly miserable without each other. Now do something about it. You're my best mates, all right? You two can't keep fighting like this. You're sniping like you were over Crookshanks and... and Scabbers. And it's stupid! You just need to come out and say what you feel. And you have to accept certain things. You have to, and you have to sort it out now, or you won't even be friends anymore. Is that what you want?"

Silence.

"Well?"

"No."

"No."

"Then talk. Talk, and for God's sake, stop fighting. That's all I'm asking you to do. If you can't be friends, if you can be friends, whatever! But you need to decide where the hell you stand." Pause. "This isn't just affecting you. It's affecting everyone. I can't stand this. I can't stand to hang out with my two best friends, and that's not how it's supposed to be. And maybe I'm being selfish, but I don't care anymore. I..." Sound of disgust. Stomping feet.

Silence.

"Well. We messed that up."

"Yup."

"I... I didn't know he was so upset about the whole thing."

"We haven't really been that fair to him though, have we?" Sigh. "It's not right to ask him to... referee... all the time."

"Don't even know why we're fighting."

"Me either."

Silence.

"We used to be such good friends. Sure, we argued. This is..."

"It changed. We grew up."

Sigh. "I always knew that 'we'll still be friends' rot was just that. Utter crap."

Shrug. "I don't think it is, all the time. If you and Harry had gone out, I think you two could have broken up and gone back to being friends in the same bloody second. I can't do that with you."

Long silence.

"Does he make you happy? Dean?"

"I don't know, exactly. That's what I'm trying to find out."

"Tell me about him. The way... the way you see him."

"Dean... Well, you know Dean." Nervous laugh. "He's... smart. And he cares about me. He asks me how I am, and he compliments me. We talk about schoolwork, and what we want to do after school. About our families. He understands me, I guess."

" 'Cause he's like you."

"He's a lot like me, yes. He would never hurt me."

"Like I would, you mean?"

Pause. "Like you did."

"You think I like hurting you? You think that... that when I open my mouth and you get that look on your face, where you mouth drops open slightly and your lower lip shakes and... you think I like that? I hate that! I hate that I hurt you, and sometimes I want to hurt you. But then I do and I wish so much that I hadn't."

"But you do."

Silence.

"I think... I think I could love him."

"Don't do this, Hermione."

"Do what?"

"Be with him. Don't... don't have him be your boyfriend. Don't give him your love. That's me! It's supposed to be me!"

"It's not supposed to be anything! He's good to me, and he likes me. And..."

"Be with me."

"Ron..."

"I can't promise you I won't hurt you, because I won't lie to you. I probably will hurt you. That's me, and you know that. I know... I don't make you happy sometimes. I don't make me very happy sometimes. I try to do everything and end up doing not much of anything. I've got limits, Hermione. Everyone does. I know I'm not smart, and I'm not athletic, and I'm a redhead with the most horrible batch of freckles known to man. I'm poorer than dirt, and I have a terrible temper. But if there's one thing about myself that I'll never regret and never change is that I love you. I'll love you until I die."

"Don't..."

"I'll love you when you yell at me for being lazy and for not wearing matching socks, and when you get a mark on a test that's at least twice mine. I'll love you when you try to liberate house elves and when you call Quidditch stupid, though only God knows why you think that. I'll love you forever. I've loved you even when my stomach was curdling, seeing Dean's arm around you. I'd love you even... even if you marry him, and you have these absolutely scarily brilliant children running around your house. I think I'll love them too, even though I'll wish some of them look like me and not like Dean." Deep breath. "Even when we fought... when you called me names and I called you names and you threw things and then I kissed you and you slapped me and I kissed you again and that time you kissed me back... Christ, Hermione! I love you."

Sobbing.

"I've known you for almost seven years now. Loved you for three. And I know I can't live without you."

"Stop saying those things..."

"Saying what things? Telling you the truth? Telling you what I should be able to tell you every single day? I love you!"

"Stop it! Dean..."

"No, 'Mione! Not Dean. Me. Ron. Dean doesn't... Dean doesn't know you. He doesn't. He hasn't seen you face down Death Eaters, and mouth off to convicted murderers, and fight your way through the Department of Mysteries. Has he seen you cry? Has he seen you when you're so scared you don't remember your own name? Has he seen you so upset you shake and nothing can make you stop? Does he understand that light you get in your eyes when you solve a problem or cast a new spell for the first time? Because I don't think he does." Kissing noise. "Dean is not me. You love me. And you don't love Dean."

"I know! I don't love him! I don't love him, and I want to, and I should." Slamming noise. "You're right. He's not you. But you... being with you hurts."

"Hermione, being apart hurts so much more." Soft sob. "Please."

Long silence.

Hiccup.

Low laughter.

"The two of us... honestly." Shuffling noise.

"I know." Sniff. "We're such a mess."

Silence.

"Hermione...?"

Soft kiss.

"Don't. Not now, all right?"

Silence.

"Just..."

"Don't talk."

Slow, even breathing.

"It can be like this. It can be like this all the time."

Muffled laughter. "You're sort of cute when you beg."

"Is it working?"

"Yes. Yes, it's working."

Long silence.

"We've got class."

"To hell with class."

"Hermione!"

"I'm not going to class with eyes like... like puffy red mushrooms."

"You can cast a Glamour Charm."

"We're all ready late."

"It's Professor Binns; he won't notice."

"Oh, for God's sake Ron. You're so oblivious. I don't want to go to class!"

"Oh." Pause. "Are you suggesting we play hooky?"

"I think we all ready are."

"I'm a bad influence on you."

"Yes. Totally and completely your fault."

"Completely." Smirk.

Silence.

"Want to go out to the lake?"

"The docks?"

"Where else did we ever go?"

"I do recall one rather memorable evening where we skinny-dipped..."

"I'm still denying that ever happened."

"Just because you can't remember it doesn't mean other people can't."

Sigh. "Hanging out with Fred and George is never a good idea."

~~~~~~~

"Am I telling him, or are you telling him?"

"At the risk of sounding cowardly, he might hit me, whereas he will never hit you."

"That's logical."

"In the face of more logic, he's your boyfriend."

Sigh. "Also true."

"I've also got to face him in the dorm, which is going to be bad enough. And you know I'll end up with my foot in my mouth at some point anyway..."

"Ron... stop. I'm going to go talk to him."

"Oh, good. Er... you don't really think he'll be too mad, do you?"

"I... don't think so. Maybe."

"A-all right."

~~~~~~~

"Dean, can I talk with you for a second?"

"Sure."

"Alone?"

"Oh, right. Be right back Seamus."

Wave. "Take your time."

~~~~~~~

"Dean, I..."

"You and Ron are back together, right?"

"Y-yes. I was going to tell you. You just... beat me to it."

Shrug. "It's all right."

"R-really?"

"Really. You guys walked into the Hall just now and I knew. I knew from your faces. You looked happy with me. But with Ron...? There's something else. Maybe because you're so pissed at him, sure, sometimes, but there's something else."

"I did like you, you know."

"I know. I liked you too. I do like you. A lot. But, hey." Shrug. "You're an amazing girl, Hermione. Only someone like you could put up with Ron."

"Yeah, well... he has to put up with me sometimes too." Small smile. "Being a know-it-all is kind of irritating, I suppose."

"You're not irritating, you're just... highly informative."

Soft laughter. "That's it, I'm sure."

Silence.

"I'll miss you. Normally, I don't think I'd really take this so well, but... you're my friends, so I know you didn't do it to hurt me..."

"It wasn't anything like that!"

"I know."

"It just... it just happened."

"I know."

Silence.

"Well, I suppose I'll see you later."

"Right. Later."

"Goodbye, Hermione."

"Goodbye, Dean."

~~~~~~~

"Know what I noticed today?"

"What?"

"Well, besides the abnormally high snog rate between you two... Draco wasn't here."

"I noticed. There was no one to stop us from blowing up our Potions this morning."

"And Snape was in a particularly nasty mood too."

Silence.

"Draco did come back on the train. I saw him, when I passed one of the compartments."

"Where could he be?"

"Well... I say, time to break out the Marauder's Map!"

Rustling noise. Slamming noise. Rather loud crashing noise.

"Found it!"

"Thank God..."

"I solemnly swear I am up to no good."

Faint crackling noise.

"Where is he?"

"Not in the dungeons anywhere..."

"Oh. Well that's... odd."

"What's wrong?"

"Where is he?"

"He's in the Hospital Wing."

"Oh."

"That can't be a good sign."

"And Snape is there too."

"That's really not a good sign."

"Do you think...?"

"Don't say it."

"Ron...?"

"I just... I don't like the guy, all right? I'll probably never like him. But I don't want to imagine what that must be like. It's burned into your flesh. Burned. And once it's on you, you never get away from it. Never. I mean, even the Death Eaters who came forward all those years ago and told who the other were, and where they were hiding... you think people still don't look at them sideways?" Deep breath. "Some people get sucked in to it, and they're whole life gets ruined. And Malfoy... as much as he's tormented me, even I won't wish that upon him." Pause. "Poor bastard."

Stomping footsteps.

"What was that all about?"

"I'm actually not sure."

Silence.

"Well, how'd it go over with Dean?"

"It went... okay. I think he knew I was delaying the inevitable."

"The inevitable?"

"Admitting to Ron that he was right about us."

"Oh." Chuckle. "New thing for Ron to be right?"

"Well, next to me." Smile. "Dean was all right about it. He wasn't saying 'congratulations', or anything, but he doesn't seem too hurt."

"That's good, I guess. Things have seemed a little strained in the dorm, for obvious reasons, but it's been that way for a while, so..."

"Got it. I don't even know what I'm doing. I'm still a bit... oh, a bit worried about everything. Still a little confused. Oh! And I wanted to thank you. You know, for listening to me during all of my crisis moments."

"What are friends for? I'm just glad you worked it out. Glad you got back together. If I had to spend one more minute with depressed-Ron, I would have killed myself."

"That the reason he kissed you? Because he was depressed and in need of a little love?" Giggle.

"We're not going to touch on that subject ever again. He was drunk. Very, very drunk."

"So were you."

"He's straight, Hermione. Trust me. If he wasn't, I would have figured it out a long time ago and stolen him away from you."

Silence.

"Harry? Do you really... like him, like that?"

"Ron? No! Ron's my brother, almost. I was just using it as an expression. Let rephrase that: Trust me. If he wasn't, I would have figured it out a long time ago and introduced him to the wonderful world of being gay. Better?"

"Much."

"Such a dirty minded woman. I think you just want to see us kiss. Admit it! Admit it right now! The thought of your boyfriend and your male best friend kissing is almost enough to fry all your circuits."

"Well, it is a bit..." Cough. "You're an evil man, Harry."

"So everyone keeps telling me."

Short silence.

"You really think Draco got the Mark?"

"Certainly fits. If it was Neville or something like that, it wouldn't be so suspicious. But everyone knows 'Malfoy' means 'Death Eater'."

"I guess." Sigh. "So what do we do? Do we just treat him like normal?"

"In class, yes. But it also means you don't sneak out at midnight to meet him anymore."

"But... I... you..."

"I knew. You think you're so tricky, Harry. Really. You think I don't know you by now? It was obvious."

"Ron didn't know."

"Ron wouldn't notice a dragon if it bit him in the arse."

"Well..."

"Point is, this is quite possibly a dramatic plot to get your guard down and have Draco kidnap you."

"But - "

"Not likely, I know, but still possible. No more meeting Draco by yourself in the dead of night. Do you understand me, Harry James Potter?"

"... I understand. Just one question though."

"And what's that?"

"When did you start calling him Draco?"

Smile. "When you did."

~~~~~~~