A Walk in the Woods

One day a boy was walking in the woods. He had pale blond hair and was wearing a suit. He was whistling something that vaguely sounded like "Pretend to be Nice" (Josie and the Pussycats). All of a sudden something flew out of the tree and almost hit the boy on his head. By the way, the boy's name was Draco Malfoy, if you hadn't already guessed.

"Bugger! What the bloody hell was that!" he exclaimed.

Suddenly, whatever it was came back and took another shot at knocking him unconscious.

"Oi! What the hell is that bloody thing?" he yelled, trying to get away from it.

He started running into the forest trying to get away from whatever it was. Suddenly he tripped. His robes had gotten in the way. Robes? he wondered. What had happened to his suit? It was an authentic Armani suit! It had cost 500 bloody pounds! The boy kept running however, despite his change of clothing. But the bright pink robes only served to get caught in the underbrush.

Now where did that bloody kitten get to? He had to find it otherwise he would lose the game. You had to catch the kitten to win the game at the same time while trying to keep the other team, or was it the other player? Draco though confused. Either way, you had to find the kitten before whomever it was that you were playing against got it, while at the same time trying to keep them from..., what was it again? Oh yeah, cutting down the trees.

If they cut down enough trees they would win because catching the kitten, although it ended the game, it would only put you up by about one hundred and fifty points, or at least that's what he thought. Each tree cut down was worth about ten points, and you could cut down trees as well. It made it easier to find the kitten. In truth the kitten was up a tree so cutting down trees made it easier to find the kitten, but during the whole game you had to watch out for hidden obstacles. With each tree that you cut down the more obstacles released. But an obstacle released upon you can be turned upon your opponent. You had to use the saw that you use to cut down the trees to drive the obstacles in the direction of your opponent.

The thing flew at him again, but now that Draco had remembered how to play the game he picked up his saw and swatted it away. "Oomph!" he grunted as he hit the flying object.

"Oi! What the hell are you trying to do here?" someone exclaimed.

"That thing almost hit me! It could've killed me!" exclaimed a different boy as he emerged from the woods.

He had jet-black hair and fierce green eyes. He was tall and scrawny, though he had a certain air about him that made him regal despite his gawky looks. He was wearing denim overalls and a flannel shirt. He was carrying a saw and was rubbing at his head. Draco looked at the boy curiously. Was he on his team or was he his opponent. And if he was his opponent then why was he so upset and surprised at having an obstacle directed at him? Draco was very confused.

"You know, you shouldn't be playing the game if you don't know the rules," Draco said to the other boy. "You could get hurt, what with all the obstacles and the falling trees. You're not on my team are you?" Draco questioned. "Because you're wearing a different outfit, I mean I'm not sure if the teams have certain uniforms, but you seemed to be dressed as a lumberjack while I am dressed as a businessman, well at least I was. Now I just seemed to be dressed up prettily! So who exactly are you?"

"Aw, c'mon Draco, don't keep playing this game with me. You know very well who I am. If you don't start being nice I'll just quit on you and then what are you going to do, hmm? `Play' all by yourself? You need me and don't you try to pretend you don't! I mean I know you're pretty fucked up right about now, but seriously, I would think you remember something at least. But I guess you wouldn't. Now when you're this screwed over," the boy said as he walked off sadly, back into the woods from which he came, calling over his shoulder, "and don't you be sending any other large projectiles at me either!"

"That was curious", Draco said to himself. "Oh well, I guess this is a one player game then after all. Good! Less competition!" Her said as he continued on into the woods.

"Meow." All of a sudden Draco heard it! It was the kitten! But where was it? He had to find it before whoever he was playing against did! Suddenly he felt that all this was more than just a game; that if he didn't somehow succeed in attaining the kitten, which was up a tree by the way, then something catastrophic would happen. But that's just how he felt, and according to the lumberjack that had just walked away, his feelings weren't worth shit. But if the lumberjack wasn't actually a player in the game, then he could very well be an obstacle! Suddenly it all came into for Draco! The lumberjack had been an obstacle to distract him from attaining the kitten, which would avert some kind of disaster!

He had to find that kitten. He knew now that the kitten was important in some way, and if he didn't stop the other team from getting it, the following disaster would be his fault! And he definitely did not want that on his conscience. Not that Malfoys actually had consciences, but he still didn't want whatever it was that was going to happen, to happen. Draco thought about it all. If the trigger thing was a kitten, then who knows what type of disaster would happen? Seriously, a kitten, the disaster would have something to do with fluffy things and, Draco shuddered, ducks! With those kinds of things at stake Draco knew that he just had to find that kitten and prevent whatever was going to happen from happening!

The black-haired lumberjack emerged from the forest again. "Not still going on about that kitten are you? Dude, just give it up, there is no kitten!" he said.

"What are you talking about? The kitten is everything! If I allow the kitten to fall into enemy hands then who knows what will happen? All sorts of," once again Draco shuddered, "fluffy things!"

"What's wrong with fluffy, hmm?" the other boy asked as he fingered a lock of Draco's gorgeous blond hair. "I tend to like fluffiness, it makes me happy. Don't you want to make me happy Draco?" the other boy pouted.

"No! Stop this! You are just trying to stray me from my objective! You are merely an obstacle to keep me from getting to the kitten! You must work for the other team! Be gone obstacle! You shall not lead me astray!" Draco pronounced.

"Fine. I'll leave you be. Just don't come to me for a fuck anytime soon," the boy said sadly as he walked away.

"I will not be swayed by your words of seduction! No go!" Draco yelled at the boy's retreating back.

Draco turned, that was a hard thing to do. That boy, he was so very alluring and sexy, but he had had to stay on task. The boy seemed strangely familiar, but it was no mind. He had to keep to his task on finding the kitten. The boy had almost diverted him from that task and that was a very bad risk that he had taken. Who knew what the other team had been up to while they had talked? Draco had to get back on task.

While Draco had been standing there the thing that had been chasing him before once more homed in on him. All of a sudden it came rushing at his head.

"Ah!" Draco screamed as he ran away from the thing that had flown at him. "Here, kitty, kitty! Here kitty!" he called as he ran through the forest avoiding the thing that kept making passes at his head. He had to find the kitten, projectile aiming to knock him out or not. Serious time had been lost and it had to be made up.

"Kitty! Kitty! Where are you, you precious thing of fluff?" Draco called still running through the forest. Draco made a mental note that after this he would have to clean his mouth out with soap, or maybe that other boy's mout- no, he had to stay on task. It was of utmost importance.

Suddenly another thing flew at him, clawing at his face. He had to get it off. He wasn't watching where he was going and ran straight into a tree knocking it over.

"Point for Draco!" was spoken by an unknown voice seeming to come from above, or maybe it was the tree?

Draco just lay there on the ground dazed until he felt something licking his face. "Meow." Of course! It was the kitten! He had found it! He had won the game!

"Not so fast, Draco. You haven't won yet. In order to win you have to get the kitten out of the forest. Might seem an easy task, but there are more things lurking in this forest than you might think. Plus there's also the other team out to steal the kitten from you. Just remember all that you have learned and you will know how to get out."

Draco pondered all this. What the hell was he talking about? 'Remember what he had learned'? Feh, whoever it was speaking was a fool. What could Draco have possibly learned that would help him- oh yes, that time when he was a boy scout. His mother had signed him up behind his father's back hoping that Draco might learn how to survive in the wilderness had he ever the need to run away from home. It was after the first campout that his father had found out. He was extremely anger with his mother, and Draco as well. But he now remembered what he had needed to. The skill of (long pause) ORIENTEERING! That would be Draco's key out of the forest. Now for finding the sun through the thick canopy...

As Draco stood there looking into the sun with the kitten in his arms there was a slight "whoosh" and whatever it had been that had been chasing him hit him. Draco went down with a thud and the cat jumped out of his arms and proceeded to climb up another tree. Draco woke up groggy and disoriented with his head pounding, only to find Harry Potter leaning over him.

"Oi mate, I thought you'd had quite a turn getting hit by a bludger like that," he said

"What? A bludger? How'd I get here? I was going for a walk in the woods until some thing started chasing me. It hit me and now I wake up here, with you standing over me. Why the bloody hell are you standing over me anyways? Since when am I your 'mate'?"

"You don't remember do you? Well I suppose not, wizards don't have as high a tolerance of drugs as Muggles do. You were on an acid trip. You were trying to get to the Forbidden Forest yelling something about having to save a kitten in a tree, and to keep you from doing that I suggest we play some Quidditch. You were trying to escape a bludger, and I guess that was somehow conveyed into your acid trip. And don't you remember last week's acid trip? We ended up fucking in the broom closet and we're now dating. Or at least do you remember the great sex that we had in the bathroom right before that last Quidditch match? And I assure you, you were not on an acid trip then!"

Draco blushed. Flustered, he stammered. "Of-of-of course I remember that. It was quite nice. Want to see if we can get away with it in the Quidditch changing rooms?" Draco winked. "I just thought we were keeping it all hush-hush, you know. It wouldn't look good on your reputation to be dating such a bad boy as myself. Some of the fangirls might get upset you know."

"Who cares about them? I have you," Harry said as he kissed Draco leading him towards the Quidditch changing rooms. The Slytherin one of course.