With Arms Wide Open

With Arms Wide Open

Chapter Four: Good Times

***

"Walk on broken glass make my way through fire

These are the things I would do for love

Farewell peace of mind kiss goodbye to reason

Up is down the impossible occurs each day

This intoxication thrills me

I only pray it doesn't kill me"

~part of "The Best Thing", by Savage Garden~

***

The land was full of shadows. She ran around, searching, searching. Yet no matter where she turned, she only met more and more shadows. There was no light anywhere, only dark gray horizons completely encircling her.

Well, everywhere but right beside her. A step next to her or a step right behind her it was always pitch black.....A darkness that grew in the center and pervaded the gray sphere. Yet, this black comforted her; it was a friendly presence, while all else was antagonizing. She knew that what she searched for could never be found in the blackness; at least, not now.

She heard soft voices, pleading voices: "Lily.....Lily....." She had no idea where they came from.

So she kept running around, frantically, in hopes of finding her light. And the blackness followed her.....always present, and constantly comforting.

***

Lily woke up to someone bouncing unceremoniously on her bed. Up, down, up, down. Lily groaned, her eyes still clasped tightly shut.

"Lily, get up!"

Lily finally opened her eyes when the person grabbed her shoulder and shook it hard. She opened her eyes to find Katty grinning right back at her. Katty was kneeling on the bed beside Lily.

"Lils, you need to get up now! No more sleeping." Katty grinned slyly at her.

In response, Lily glanced at the clock on her bedside table, then turned to Katty again. "It's only ten, mom! Let me sleep!"

"Get up! And as my family is your legal guardian family, I'm an honorary mom. So there. But we have to be at the Apparition place in an hour. I mean, you don't have to get you license, if you'd rather sleep....."

"You are not my mom! No one is!" Lily sat up and leaned forward. Her parents.....Rather than choking on her words in grief, she became angry. "Just shut it!"

Katty's eyes twinkled. "You sure? Wait, shut what?"

"Oh my god, just shut up! And you know what? You ruined my dream."

Always one to be distracted by the blessed confusion of subconscious thoughts, Katty sat up straight on her knees. "Ooh. Was it any good?"

"I wouldn't call it good; it was more.....irritating."

"Irritating?"

"Yea. I don't even fully remember it now. But I remember that I was rushing around in this nowhere place, looking for something. It actually kind of felt like I had lost something that was monumentally important."

"Something? Like, I dunno, a friend? Boyfriend? Possession?"

"I guess it felt sort of like a person."

"Having any secret trysts with any cute guys, then?"

"Well, there is this guy from work, Nick Eller. He's at the lab station next to me, and is real smart. He is so cute!"

Katty stood up, still on Lily's bed, and then hopped off. She walked to Lily's closet and pulled it open. Rifling through the clothes, she asked, "Cute how? What does he look like?"

Lily laughed, and rolled off her bed in a blob of cotton as she was still tangled in her sheets. "Well, he has longish black hair, and the most gorgeous hazel eyes. He's tall, and muscular. He said that before Hogwarts and in his spare time, he wrestled."

"Wrestled?"

"Oh, sorry! Nick is Muggle-born also. Wrestling is a sport, kind of like when people duel or fight physically, but with serious restrictions. For example, the two guys have to stay within a circle, and try to effectively pin the other to the ground in as little time as possible. Well, it's easier to see than explain. But for it, you have to keep strong and in shape."

"Ah, I see. Well, other than the muscular part, he sounds like James."

"James? As if. He's nicer, and cuter, and has hazel eyes! James has brown eyes, remember? And Nick's hair falls straight."

"Alright, alright! So you like him?"

"I don't know. I'd like to see if anything happens. Why are you looking through my clothes?"

Katty grinned. "Because after you shower you need something to wear. That's where I come in. Now go!" She placed a dark blue robe on Lily's bed, and dragged her friend off the floor.

Laughing, Lily decided to listen to Katty. "Okay, hold your horses! I'm going, I'm going," she cried, dodging Katty's shove to her door.

***

It was a chilly day. The sky was a dark gray, admonishing of an imminent downpour; wind shot around, howling and twirling discarded papers on the sidewalk. It was rather depressing to walk outside and be so welcomed.

Sirius normally wouldn't have cared, and would have left his house in only a T-shirt and shorts and without an umbrella if he could. He would have gone out on his motorcycle, and would have searched for girls. Witches, Muggles, it made no difference to him. Girls were girls, and he'd be damned if he'd let a little thing like magic or rain get in his way.

But of course, things did get in his way. For one, he had to wear robes, since they were all going to a wizarding establishment (Hogsmeade) to get their Apparition licenses. He always had preferred Muggle clothes. As a child, his parents had taken him on tons of excursions into Muggle towns, hoping he'd grow up to be unbiased against Muggles and Muggleborns, since he was a pureblood and so were most of his friends at the time. And it had worked--he gained a respect for Muggles (how could they live without magic?) and could live amongst them peacefully.

And, of course, he had noticed that robes were so similar to dresses, which were, in his mind, undeniably a girl thing (at least where he lived; some other places he knew that men wore robes or kilts often), and he had no desire to be anything like a girl when it could be so easily avoided! And he was not about to cut his hair shorter, thank you very much!

Unfortunately, Lily had made him dress warm. The second she had seen him in only his T-shirt and shorts (they were carrying their robes to change into at the Leaky Cauldron), she had glared at him and dragged him back into the flat to get a cloak. Actually, speaking about cloaks.....Sirius looked down at his cloak. It was black, with a blue strip around the bottom, and pretty tight. He groaned. A new cloak was not something he really felt like buying now.

At least he didn't need an umbrella. He was a wizard, after all.

And the past week had been, for lack of better words, amusing.

Katty had suddenly decided that they all needed to take their Apparition tests. He, James, and Lily had simply followed Katty along so she wouldn't get annoyed, and because in truth they really wanted their licenses. At least, Sirius knew he did.

All week they were forced to study their Apparition manuals. At Hogwarts all seventh years had taken a crash course in Apparition. The classes had been Monday night for the last three months of the school year. Sirius had been completely flummoxed once seeing there would be reading in order to Apparate. And not reading on occasions when people had done something incorrectly and ended up splicing themselves (well, there was that, too, but, well, Sirius had actually been anticipating that)! But there was actually literature on just how to hold your wand, and how not to hold it, and how to breathe when you flicked your wand, and the differences when men and women Apparated, and the different incantations you needed to mentally cast over yourself along with flicking your wand, and the list went on and on. In two seconds the course had gone from Sirius' favorite (ah, gruesome stories about Apparition going horribly awry!) to his most dreaded.

But he was surprisingly good at it. The few times he had practiced in school under the watchful eye of Dumbledore, he found that he was a natural. But, thinking about that now, why wouldn't he be? For god sakes, he was actually gifted in Transfiguration and Charms! As it was, he could transform his body shape into a dog at will, so why couldn't he naturally move his body over a bit? It was just mixing those two subjects together.

Since they hadn't their licenses, they couldn't Apparate large distances. But it was never stated that they couldn't Apparate a few feet to practice.....

He was constantly amused that week.

He once Apparated directly into Lily and Katty's kitchen. Lily was standing right in front of the sink, washing some dishes the Muggle way (why she so often preferred that way when she was a damn gifted witch, he could never fathom). She had the faucet extended on its little hose, and was concentrating extremely hard, he gathered, since she hadn't even heard the small 'pop' of his entrance. So he opened her refrigerator, looking for food, since he felt like eating. A second later, he noticed that Lily had turned her head to look out the kitchen window, and she saw him. She shrieked like a banshee, and he had gotten completely soaked with her hose before she realized that the 'intruder' was actually her handsome friend. Of course, she yelled all the more at him afterwards.

But it was absolutely worth it.

"Sirius, something up?"

James was looking directly at Sirius. His glasses were slightly askew from the wind.

Sirius looked around him. He hadn't even noticed he had been walking, but now he, James, Lily, and Katty were at a bus stop, with hoods pulled over his friends' heads.

"Oh, yeah, I'm fine."

"Are you mad at me?" It was Lily. She was staring at him, and a few wisps of her hair were sticking out of her hood and fluttering in the breeze. They were the only splash of color he saw: red against a bland gray landscape. Sirius was confused, until he noticed Lily was looking poignantly at his cloak.

She must have seen him staring at it. Oops. And this must be one of her insecure moments.

So he threw an arm around her shoulders. She stumbled slightly at the addition, then grinned at him. Such a pretty smile..... "Of course not, Lils! How could I be mad at you?"

Lily laughed. "I don't know! I still don't really understand you."

Sirius pretended to be shocked, clamping his free hand over his heart in mock indignation. "Why Lily! After all those years? And you were my very best friend."

Sirius winked at James, who caught onto the gesture and feigned sadness and pouted. "What am I, chopped liver?"

"Yes, and that's one food that I really don't like!"

"Oh, great. Who needs enemies when you have friends!"

The bus arrived then, amidst the four friends' laughter; as they boarded, Sirius hoped that there'd be a lot fewer bus rides in the future.

***

A tall man stood atop a low hill, his eyes sweeping the crowd standing around the mound. The men and women there remained motionless, faces impassive, emanating hatred. The sky had blackened to coal, no stars visible; it was as if the man had smothered a fire in the heavens so no light shone through. A few torches were stuck into the ground, casting an eerie glow over the man.

He would have been handsome, if it were not for the cruelty that masked his features. To look at him was to feel that malice yourself, to feel the hate roll over you in powerful waves, to cower in fear at his gaze. And it wasn't merely the expression on his face, although that was bad enough. A condescending smirk was ever-present; his eyes mirrored the loathing in his mind; the eyebrows tapered to an evil 'V'. Yet, the man was awash with his spite; you only needed to stand near him to know just how cruel he was.

But even with all that, the real reason a person recoiled at the man's gaze was his eyes. They were red, fiery red, and seemed to crackle with the hate that consumed him. An embodiment of that hate. Had the phrase "his look could kill" been true, then this man could pull it off. Indeed, one imagined he could.

Now his eyes narrowed, and extended one arm over the crowd. If possible, the men and women seemed to grow even quieter. The man's hand curled, and with one finger he pointed directly at a man, a young man with silver hair that just barely grazed his forest green robes. The finger then curled itself, and the younger man hesitantly walked up to join his master.

"I have a little job for you," said the man, his voice resonant and almost sounding amused.

And then a screaming wind shuttled by the silver-haired man's ears, and he nearly trembled with fear.

***

James sat at the counter of the small café where Katty worked, nursing a cup of tea and a scone. As it was, Katty was too busy to talk, because there were three guys practically draped over her at the counter, and it seemed to take all her efforts to keep them at bay (yet she didn't seem to be trying too hard). He was bored; it was a cloudy, dreary Saturday and he had nothing else to do for a bit. As he swirled the steaming liquid, he heard the bells in the door jingle and looked up.

His jaw dropped. Walking into the room was a girl with long black hair cascading in thick curls down her back. Se had hazel almond-shaped eyes, a smooth olive complexion, and quite a nice figure, if James did say so himself (which, in fact, he did). In short, she was an absolutely stunning girl.

James was transfixed. He followed the girl as she sauntered around the room. He couldn't help but notice how confidently she moved, how her hips swayed. And.....she was heading in his direction.

"Hey, Katty," he said. Katty looked up. Apparently two of the guys had left, and the last one had seemed to lose his motivation with his two cronies gone. She raised an eyebrow at him. "Do you see that girl?" He pointed at the newcomer, and Katty merely nodded. "Well? Is she coming over here?"

Katty laughed. "What? You waiting for her or something?"

"No!"

"Well, she is, but don't you go getting your hopes up. I've seen her around here occasionally, and let me tell you, don't get your hopes up. I've watched her turn down enough guys that I think she wouldn't even go with Sirius."

James frowned. "But girls hardly ever turn down Sirius."

"Exactly. She's a bit of a snob. Anyway, just because she's coming over here doesn't mean it's to talk to you. This is the counter."

A sweet tantalizing voice then struck his ears, reminiscent of bells or birds or music or anything beautiful. James' head shot down, and he stared at the scone in a daze. Katty had completely left his mind. "Hullo," the girl said. "Is this seat taken? All the others are full."

And so James glanced up, smiling, to meet her eyes. "Hello. Of course you can sit there. This is the counter," he said, stealing Katty's line from a moment before. He stole a quick glare at his friend; she simply stuck out her tongue at him.

"My name is Erissa Lee. And who would you be?"

"James Potter."

Erissa laughed, a bright tinkling sound. "Well, pleased to meet you, James Potter." Right. She was a snob. James made a mental note to ignore Katty in the future.

Katty cleared her throat, wiping her hands on a towel tucked into the apron. "Would you like to order something?"

"Yes, just a tea, and quick, mind you. Last time I came I had to wait for ages."

Katty nodded, but turned away, muttering, but Erissa twirled and smiled brilliantly at James. A minute later Katty returned with the girl's tea. She glared at Erissa as she turned to help another customer, but James was too busy concentrating on not saying anything unintelligent to really notice.

James thought quickly. Although he had just met Erissa, he really wanted to see her again. He couldn't even explain why. Her eyes are so beautiful, he thought.....maybe she'd agree to a date? "So, Erissa? Do you have anything exciting planned for the day?"

She frowned slightly, but her eyes sparkled. "Well, no, not really. I had nothing to do, which is why I came to this hole-in-the-wall in the first place; I was bored and thought something interesting would come of it."

"Well, in that case, would you like to do something with me later?"

Erissa grinned. "Alright. How about meet me at the Leaky Cauldron at--" she checked her watch "--six-thirty?"

What? James practically fell out of his stool, eyes wide. She was a witch! "How did you know I'm not a Muggle?"

Rolling her eyes Erissa simply responded, "Your clothes."

"What about them?"

"Let's just say that they are not exactly appropriate for Muggle places. They generally don't wear a nice sweater with holey jeans."

"So? I'm sure plenty Muggles wear similar clothes," James said indignantly.

"All right, I confess. I remember you from Hogwarts. I was a year above you, in Ravenclaw. You had caught my attention on more than one occasion."

James blushed and glanced at his watch. Shoot, I'm going to be late, he thought. "Sorry, Erissa, but I must go now. I'm supposed to meet Lily in a half hour."

Erissa's eyes narrowed. "Lily?"

James practically hit himself. Stupid, stupid. "Yes, Lily Evans. She's just a friend of mine. I'm helping her find a birthday gift for my best friend."

Erissa grinned now, but her eyes still looked suspicious. "All right then. See you at six-thirty."

"Bye," James said. He waved good-bye to Katty and bolted out of the café.

***

A number of hours later James was rummaging through a display of T-shirts with odd messages in a tiny shop in Hogsmeade. He had already been through the shops once already. Lily had dragged him to each and every one of them, and still had no clue what to get Sirius. His friend's birthday wasn't until the end of October, so James felt he had time. It's not like Sirius was expecting anything magnificent, anyway. James had a reputation of not giving real thoughtful gifts. Just last year he had picked a random book to give Lily for Christmas. It turned out she already had Hogwarts, A History. Oh, well.

"Oh, James, I had an idea!" Lily came running up to James from the other side of the story, grinning.

"Finally. What, then?"

"Well, Sirius has a motorcycle, right?"

James' eyes opened wide. Of course! Sirius didn't have a nice helmet, his was cracked and such a repulsive orange the he had out rightly refused to wear it.

"So, are you thinking what I'm thinking?" Apparently she had correctly understood his expression. She was always saying James was an open book.

"To get Sirius a shirt that says 'I'm with Idiot' and charm you two to stand together once he puts it on?"

Lily narrowed her eyes and frowned. "No, idiot. Let's do a joint gift. Maybe we can bring Katty in on it, since it's going to be expensive. We can get him a leather jacket and a helmet!"

"That'd be nice," James said slowly.

"What, do you not like my idea?"

"Oh no, actually I think it's a great idea. It's just that, well, Sirius will be suspicious."

"Why?"

"I've never gotten him anything real nice before!"

Lily laughed, and began dragging him to the back of the store where jackets of all sizes and styles hung. "How did he get that motorcycle, anyway?" she asked.

"Oh, it was a deal he had with his father. If Sirius actually finished Hogwarts, and hadn't shamed the school too much with his antics, his father would buy him a motorcycle as a graduation present. And as you know, Sirius did fairly well in school, so his father had to hold up his end of the bargain."

Lily nodded. "I see. What's he been doing to it then?"

James frowned. Sirius hadn't wanted people to really know yet. Every weekend he had taken the motorcycle into the garage behind the building. No one ever went in there on the weekends; most often the other people were either home all day or out all day. He'd been trying to make it fly. James told Lily as much, and made her promise not to tell anyone. Enchanting Muggle objects was illegal, after all. Lily only nodded and said she understood.

So an hour later they had finally decided on a present. The helmet was black, with two silver stripes down the middle, and had been charmed to not crack. The jacket was black as well, and James figured Sirius would approve of his gift this year.

***

When James finally arrived at the Leaky Cauldron, Erissa was already there. She was sprawled in one of the poufs along the wall as if it were a throne, draping one arm languidly over the side. Her other hand rested atop her purse, her fingers impatiently drumming the green leather. A sage green scarf was wrapped around her waist, above the dark purple robes.

Sucking in a deep breath, James walked over to her. "Hello," he said, thankful that his voice didn't crack like it tended to do when he was nervous.

Erissa looked up at him. Her eyes clouded over as if she didn't recognize him. But a second later James thought he had imagined it, because she grinned and stood to greet him, making a big production of air-kissing his cheek. "Hello, James is it? Well, let's get going!"

"Going where?"

Erissa frowned and shook her head, as if to say 'how dense could you be?' She grasped James' sleeve and began to drag him out of the room, into the back alley where the entrance to Diagon Alley was. "To go walking around and shopping."

Shopping again? Wasn't he punished enough already? Why were all girls obsessed with shopping? "Are you sure?"

His date smirked, nodded, and said, "Yes, you are going to buy me something."

So James sighed and resigned himself to more shopping. Anything for Erissa. And he ended up buying her something as well, a silver necklace with a heart shaped pendant.

***

Just another day of work.

Lily sat at her lab station, a host of objects in front of her. Most of them were balls of some sort.....Quidditch balls, footballs, bouncy balls, baseballs even. There were, of course, other objects. Right now she was holding a ridiculously colored stuffed dog (it was purple, for god sakes!), and was inspecting it closely. She waved her wand over it lazily. Nothing happened.

"No," she muttered, tossing the dog into a box on her right and grabbing a plastic ball. There was an identical wooden box on her other side; right now she was separating the objects based on the effectiveness of the charms on them. Whenever her charm made the object glow blue, the charms they were practicing earlier had worked correctly. If nothing happened, well, it was back to the drawing board!

"No.....yes.....yes.....yes.....yes.....no....."

"Having fun yet?" It was Nick. He was standing in front of her station; she hadn't even noticed that he had approached her. This was the tenth time he had stopped by for a chat today. That wasn't saying much, considering he worked right next to her, but still! Up until a week ago he barely had talked to her. He'd look at her, then either quickly bury his head in his work or walk away when she saw him. She would have ignored this, except that he had a tendency to blush whenever she looked at him. He really was adorable, Lily noted, as he moved to perch on the edge of the desk. She had noticed that when she confronted him a week ago and forced him to chat with her (and he had quickly stopped being shy). His bangs were just long enough to skim the top of his eyes, and he looked so cute when he shook them out of the way. She always felt the compulsion to smooth the black strands out of the way.

Lily grinned back cheekily. "Loads!" She threw yet another object into the 'Yes' box. It was actually a good day as far as the enchantments went. That was such a rare occurrence; normally their charms wore off after a few minutes or didn't work at all. "Want to finish this for me?"

"No, I think you deserve to have some fun, now."

"Oh, ha ha."

Nick stayed until Lily finished. This was all she had left to do today; she was leaving when she was done. She grabbed her cloak and her briefcase. Muttering a quick 'good-bye' to Nick, she began walking to the Apparition station. She was very grateful to have passed her test.

"Wait, Lily!"

Lily turned around, and saw Nick hurrying toward her. "Hey, did I forget to do something?"

Nick took in a sharp breath, but shook his head.

"Well, do you need help with something?"

He then beamed down at her. "Yes, right this second," he said, raising one of his hands slightly toward her.

And before she knew it, he had grabbed her shoulders with both hands, bent down slightly, and kissed her firmly on the lips. Lily's eyes closed on their own behalf, and she responded to the kiss, bringing her hands up to lightly rest on the upper parts of Nick's arms. He deepened the kiss, and against her will Lily found her legs weakening. His kiss was so forceful, passionate even, and she found herself succumbing to that passion and meeting it eagerly.

A second later, Nick pulled away. "Thanks," he said, "I've been wanting to do that for a while now."

As Lily watched him, her eyes wide in astonishment, he turned around and started heading back to his station.

He hadn't gone more than ten feet before Lily finally came to her senses. She shook her head, trying to shake some feeling back into her. "Nick!"

Nick turned around to face her, and walked back. "Yes?"

"What was that?"

"Well.....um.....The thing is....."

At that, Lily knew that he definitely liked her. Why else would he be stuttering? If he was anything like Sirius (which so far he wasn't) then he'd have said something about how 'hot' she was. She raised a hand and he stopped fetching for something to say. "Then.....would you like to go for dinner sometime?"

He grinned, and so did she. "Yes!"

"Great. Well, I have to go now, so I'll talk to you tomorrow."

"How about tomorrow?"

"What?"

"I mean, could you go to dinner with me tomorrow night?"

Lily smiled softly, sweetly. "I'd love to."