The War of Shades

Epilogue Chapter 2 Settling In

"What now?" thought Harry, as he looked around the grounds. He could see that many of the house elves were working with Professors Sprout, Flitwick, and Firenze to replant the parts of the forest which had been damaged in the battle. He wondered if he should offer to help, as he had caused a substantial portion of that damage himself. He was greeted warmly when he arrived and made his apologies for the tornado, but everyone acknowledged Harry didn't have the luxury of selecting delicate magic in the midst of battle. When he offered to help, Professor Sprout chased him away gently, saying that with the elves they had all the help they needed.

Then Harry noticed smoke rising from Hagrid's chimney and, realizing that Hagrid would not much longer be at Hogwarts, decided to go there. Hagrid welcomed him warmly.

"I hope I'm not interrupting anything, Hagrid," said Harry.

"Course yer not," replied Hagrid. "Ah, you mean with me and Olympe. Naw, she's returned to Beauxbatons this morning. She'll get things in the works fer the wedding: it'll be held there. Of course, neither of us has any giant kin left to attend, but there are a few Hagrids out there and she's got some human kin out there as well. Of course, we both have school friends and members of the Order that we'll ask."

"Oh, good, Hagrid, for a second there, I thought I might not get an invite," Harry said with a grin.

Hagrid wagged a finger at him. "Now don't you go playing modest on me, Harry Potter. You know you're not just invited: I want you to be a part of the service, best man, if you would."

"Hagrid, I'm ... really honored. Don't you have anyone else closer, though."

"Closer? Than you!? Only Olympe. I considered asking Dumbledore for a couple o'minutes, but he's just, well, how do I say it? You've both done great things, and done wonderful things for me. But even though I'm so much older'n you, I feel like we're more friends, you'n me. I'm gonna miss you something awful when I move to France, Harry."

Hagrid looked like he would start blubbering at that and Harry reached out and squeezed Hagrid's forearm, as well as he could, to comfort him.

"We'll be visiting, Hagrid. I'll come to France, especially if I play quidditch, and you can visit, too."

"Oh, yeah, I know, but I see how it is when people move on with their lives. The visits get rarer and rarer until it's just a Christmas card with a note added that's been copied for the entire mailing list. It's just been such a special time for me since you came here."

"For me, too, Hagrid. I can't begin to tell you how wonderful it was when you came beating down the door on that island and gave me my Hogwarts letter. Even though there have been some horrors on the way, I wouldn't trade it all for anything. And you have always been one of the brightest parts of it all, a real rock and refuge for me."

Hagrid snatched Harry up and began hugging him and bawling loudly. Despite Harry's two years of vigorous exercise, he felt like he was being crushed until Hagrid put him down and turned away, rattling through his pots.

"Oh, where're my manners, Harry. I still haven't offered you a cuppa. I'll just have that for you in a few minutes."

"Oh, sure, Hagrid, that'll be fine."

Hagrid filled his kettle with water and pointed his wand at it. "Thermo!" he recited and when the spell hit the kettle, it erupted with steam. Unfortunately, Hagrid had the spout of the kettle aimed at his forearm, and it burned him. He dropped the kettle, swearing loudly. Then he held out his arm, which was already beginning to blister and peel, to Harry.

"Wouldja mind, Harry?"

Harry looked at it a second, and then up at Hagrid. Then he began to blow on Hagrid's burn to cool it.

"Naw, not that. How about healing it?" said Hagrid anxiously.

Harry looked sadly at him for several long seconds and finally said, "Sorry, Hagrid. No, I won't. I've had enough pain. This'll heal. Get some murtlap or a potion from Madam Pomfrey. I just don't want to take any more pain unless I really have to. I hope you understand."

Hagrid stared at him. "I never thought it would come to this: Harry Potter actually letting someone else take care of his own problem." Hagrid broke into a great wide grin, "I couldn't be happier that yeh said that, Harry. It's important you learn to say no. You're right - I can take care of this. Don't ever try to be everyone's solution. You just step in where yer really needed. Now, then, I've got some murtlap in that yellow jar on the top shelf there - how about you make the tea while I put some on."

"Oh, sure thing, I,...Hey, wait a second, Hagrid! Were you putting me to the test?"

Hagrid grinned. "I'd like to take credit fer the idea, but Dumbledore suggested it. We was both concerned you might overdo it with the healing thing and wear y'self out."

"I'm impressed you could scald yourself like that just for a test."

"What! This? Looks worse'n it feels. There's definite advantages to being part giant."

"So how many other times when we thought you had made mistakes were you carrying out a plot?"

Hagrid grinned broadly and winked. "I'll tell my secrets if you tell yours."

Harry grinned back, so Hagrid continued, "First thing I want to know is how you rescued Buckbeak."

"What!! Me? How can you think I had anything to do with it?"

"Come off it, Harry. Both Buckbeak and Sirius disappeared from certain death the same night and it was when you three were out and about. It took me sobering up completely from my celebration to figure there was a connection, but I'm not that slow. Besides, Sirius spilled the beans to the Order about you and Hermione showing up with Bucky at Flitwick's office. Even if he hadn't, the first time I seen 'im after the night we both tried to rescue you from Godrics' Hollow was at his house with Buckbeak being an upstairs guest."

"Okay, Hagrid, I'll give you the whole story - but I expect a fair trade. There's a lot of things at other times that happened that I still don't understand."

"Fair enough, but afore I forget, speaking of that night and Sirius reminds me I've got somewhat that rightfully belongs to you. Back in the stable, I've kept Sirius's flying motorcycle. I've run it every so often to keep it in good shape. I know you like a broom, but the bike'll pass in muggle places a lot better'n a Firebolt. Well, so long as you aren't flying on it."

"Wow, Hagrid, that's ... brilliant."

Harry and Hagrid talked and laughed about each other's secrets for over three hours over tea. When Harry left he was feeling as contented as he could ever remember.

Back at the castle, Harry went to his new office and apartment and began unpacking and placing his things. The bed and bathroom were already prepared, so it appeared he would not have to worry about linens and such, but he clearly needed to get many of the comfort and lifestyle items most people do without as a student in a dorm. First and foremost would be an appropriate selection of robes and muggle clothes: all in due time - he had enough for now and barely had an inclination of what would appeal to him or be appropriate in his new circumstances.

It didn't take long to place all his meager possessions. He kept his photo album handy: he wanted to have the picture of his parents and Sirius enlarged and framed for his wall. Then he sat behind his desk and nearly jumped a mile when he heard a voice behind him.

"Harry!" Sirius' portrait had said suddenly, "Oh, sorry, didn't mean to rattle you." He said the words, but was barely stifling his laughter.

Harry breathed deeply several breaths and then said, "Oh, it's okay, Sirius. It's just that when I moved the portrait and placed it above the mantle you weren't in it. I hadn't realized you were back. And it's very quiet in the castle."

"I tend to get a bit of motion sickness, so I went and visited with my great-great-great, erm - I lose count - my ancestor Phineas Nigellus. You know, he was a true Black in his purebred pride, but he never had that attitude of eliminating non-purebloods. Really, I don't think many of the family took it that far: they just believed in keeping to their kind."

"How about you - do you ever feel that way?"

"Well, of course I was raised to believe in pure breeding. No, it wasn't quite that - I was taught that muggles were ignorant and loathesome, and as for Muggleborns and halfbloods, they were supposed to be lesser sorcerers and the closer anyone was to muggle connections, the more they were tainted as well. The more I learned disgust for muggles and muggleborns, the more unthinkable being around them would be. In the end, though, I found I couldn't justify it on the facts. There are those that say that everyone's opinions and emotions are equally valid, but that's only so if you've checked your conclusions against the facts. Are muggles and muggleborns a different species? Obviously not. Are muggleborns and mixed bloods lesser wizards than purebloods? You and Hermione and Lily and so many others I've known prove otherwise. I was fortunate to have known your mother well enough to be shaken out of those unsupportable doctrines about bloodlines."

Harry smiled. "I wish I could have known her too. But at least I got to speak to her and my Dad and you across the divide."

"Does that give you some peace, Harry?" asked Sirius.

"Yes, very much so. We struggle to do what we can on this side. It was very comforting to see that there is something beyond this life which can be happy. I'm not sure how we would muddle through without that assurance."

"It seems bleak otherwise. Maybe that's what made Voldemort the way he was - willing to do anything to hold onto life and acting utterly without regard to what kind of existence one might face on the other side. As much as a portrait can be happy, I am, knowing that I'm happy over there with Lily and James."

"Someday, I'll join you all. But I'm not in any hurry, if you don't mind."

"You seem a bit at ends, Harry," observed Sirius.

"I don't know what to do. The only times here I've had nothing to do I at least had others to do nothing with. Everyone my age is gone now. I know - I'll go visit Remus and see how he's getting situated."

"Too late. Arthur arranged a holiday for two for Tonks for her extraordinary duties to the Ministry during the past few days, so she came and waylaid Moony. I was there when she showed up."

"Well, that's good, but it would take a while for him to pack: maybe he's still there."

Sirius howled with laughter. "Maybe later it'll take him time to pack, but right now he can't have five sets of clothes, and none of them are fit for holiday. Well, unless he were to go to the woods, and I believe Remus has had his fill of woodlands for a while. Tonks dragged him off with nothing more than the clothes he was wearing and his wand, said she was going to take him to both muggle and wizard clothing shops and play dress-up with him half the trip. She was quite giddy about it - I know, hard to imagine Tonks giddy. She said that would be the perfect holiday for her - and he didn't seem to mind the notion either."

"Well, good for them. They deserve a break as much as anyone. But now what?" said Harry.

"Dumbledore's in his office," said Sirius quietly. "While I was there, he mentioned that he'd like for you to be every bit as much a part of his life now as you have been."

"And who would know better about how to settle into my position as a staff member. Thanks Sirius," said Harry as he pulled out the communicating mirror. "Professor Dumbledore?" called Harry into it.

"Ah, Harry," said Dumbledore in a few seconds, "still not comfortable with 'Albus' I guess."

Harry smiled, "Give me time. I still feel far more like a student than a peer."

"It's to be expected. And indeed I hope that I will be given the opportunity to teach you much that I have acquired over the years. And in the process I hope to learn from you as well."

"I'd like that, too, though I'm not sure what I can contribute."

"Ah, most anyone can surprise themselves if they only allow themselves to have an open and questing mind. You have insights that you yourself do not yet see."

"And is that the only purpose of working together?"

Dumbledore laughed gently. "No indeed, Harry. I told you before I cared about you more than as just a student, and by the way you were hurt by my ignoring you, I know the feeling is mutual. It is only those who love us who are content to spend time with us and see us happy. But I do not mind that you seek reassurance on this point. After all you will find that for the vast majority of people you ever deal with, their only interest is in what you can do for them. And you were rather used as a tool in the plot to draw out Voldemort."

"Yeah. I accepted it as part of the strategy, but it still is kind of rankling, I think especially because I thought I was the only one in control of himself but I turned out to be the only one who hadn't a clue. And then I got swept along with the celebration. I still don't feel much in charge of myself."

"Ahh, alas, I'm afraid that the schedule I have drawn up for the next couple of weeks won't make you feel any more in control of yourself. You need to learn both instructional techniques and the magic needed to teach apparition and broom flying - there's more to the teaching than just being able to do it."

"Well, okay, I kind of expected that."

"But please reassure yourself that I have no intent to merely put you to work. I am looking forward to having time that we could work on projects together without the press of Voldemort's threats. It would very much be a treat for me, and I think you will find it rewarding on several levels as well."

Harry nodded thoughtfully and then looked up again. "That makes me think. When you told me about the Mirror of Erised, you said that you saw yourself with a warm pair of socks. Is that really what you saw?"

"Well, I indeed had the warm pair of socks, but I was wearing them in front of a warm fireplace, and was chatting contentedly with people who are special to me. Perhaps I'll have the chance for that now. I am old enough to find happiness in what I have rather than looking always for that which is out of our reach."

"Right now, I don't know if I am content with what I have or merely lacking the experience and vision to know what I ought to be reaching for."

"It's to be expected, Harry. Your whole life for at least three years has been organized around surviving and then defeating Voldemort. You have accomplished everything you had set for yourself, and so you must start to ask, 'Now what?' That's one of the reasons that I have organized some attractive options. Without challenges and activities to give your life structure, you could easily fall into dissolution. You would certainly not be the first hero to fall apart after the fighting was over."

"That's about it. Even now, I am quite at ends. I don't know what to do, how to be a staff member, how to live and work here."

"You need to be shown the ropes, of course. Let's meet tomorrow morning and I'll go over many of those things, and we'll make some plans for the preparations you will need for next school year. For right now, you should know that you can use the Floo Network as a sort of intercom - I believe you know that muggle term - just by throwing a pinch of Floo Powder in a fireplace and calling for the person you wish to speak to. The library is available to you, and of course the Restricted Section is no longer restricted to you, not that it has been for some time now."

Harry grinned. "Maybe later. I've just spent the better part of three months in intensive and futile study in there."

Dumbledore laughed. "I knew you would understand once the plan was described to you. Knowing that, there were a few times I laughed until I cried at how hard you worked to figure out what kind of curse would make everyone in the school fight each other. And then I would cry until I laughed over how much you were suffering to find the solution."

"Well, I understand the strategy now, so I reckon I'll get over it."

"If you wish to go someplace, of course, you are free to and can apparate, use the Floo Network, or fly. I made sure that your suite had a balcony so that you could use your broom whenever you chose to. As for meals, you can conjure things yourself, or the elves will do so - they have a talent for making things much tastier than you or I could make ourselves. We have staff meals every so often and staff members will often have meals together. Why don't you plan on having breakfast with me around 7:30 tomorrow morning and we'll talk over all sorts of things. My password is brigadero - that's a Brazilian confection I have just recently learned about. Marvelous. For dinner this evening, I believe Minerva was making arrangements. She should be calling you anytime now, so I'll say good-bye until tomorrow."

"Great, erm, Albus," Harry said the name awkwardly, "good-bye and thanks."