The War of Shades

Chapter 59 The Final Feast

"I believe we have a few loose ends to clear up," said Professor McGonagall. "First off, what did you do with all those petrified bodies from the island."

Ron spoke up this time. "The dementors we left. If anybody wants 'em, or can figure out what to do with 'em, they're easy enough to find."

Harry interrupted. "Knowing how to release the souls in them, we'll need to do that, if we can enlist someone who can perform the killing curse." He glanced toward Professor Snape.

"Severus?" asked Professor Dumbledore.

"Potter has the Dark Lord's knowledge and can get past the disillusionment charm - let him do it."

"He hasn't the spirit to perform that curse."

"And I do?" replied Snape coldly.

"It is why I have always sought someone else to be the Defense Against the Dark Arts teacher, Severus. Perhaps performing the darkest curse for a positive purpose will help you deal with that side of yourself."

"I thought never to perform such abomination again," he responded, "but for this purpose, if the Ministry will approve it, I will do my part in the endeavour."

With that, Ron continued about the petrified bodies, "Fred and George carried Bellatrix Lestrange back here."

Fred had a massive attack of the giggles, so George explained, "Well, we knew she was an old mate of Professor Snape's, so we stood her up in his office. She's right decorative there in her knickers and bathrobe."

Then Fred nudged George. Laughing even more loudly, he pulled the knickers and pink bathrobe from a pocket of his robes.

Snape's face went ashen, and he looked sicker than usual. All the adults and seventh years of the raiding party laughed uproariously, and were joined by the seated students and the teachers, but the fifth and sixth years of the raiding party, who still faced classes with Snape in the coming years, held up their hands to say that they hadn't been a part of it.

Dumbledore quieted them.

"As amusing as that may be, I think she can be removed to the spare room near the Potions classroom until aurors can remove her. Mr. Filch, if you would ask a couple of house elves to assist you with that and ask one of them to guard her. Now, Mr. Potter, Miss Granger has said that just before you collapsed, you turned your head toward them - would I be wrong in guessing you were using legilemency?"

"It was not my choice, Professor, but yes, I was nearly defeated and Riddle took control of my body to make me look at the terror in my friends' minds."

"Was it what you saw in them that gave you the strength to win?"

"Sort of, Professor."

"If you can tell us, I think it would be instructive for us all to know what it was about seeing into your friends' thoughts that assisted you to overcome Voldemort."

"I think I can do that now. It will necessarily be only sketchy, but here goes. I hated to look, as I was certain I would see intense terror at what fate would be meted out to each of them. But when I looked, that was not the terror at all. They were terrified at what was happening to me. And they felt tremendous guilt at having participated in the ruse with the phony curse that had led me to that point."

"Ahh," said Professor Flitwick, "so seeing how you were loved gave you strength?"

"Not exactly, sir. My thoughts were actually how foolish they were to feel guilt when they had just done their best to fight this terrible evil. How could they feel guilty for that, for doing the best they could? They had caused me no harm - some great frustration, but no real harm. And then it hit me - I was just as foolish. I had never accepted that I was not the cause of all the miserable things that had happened around me. I had made some mistakes certainly, but nothing unforgiveable, but I had never been able to accept that for myself. Seeing that, I finally learned to practice forgiveness and goodwill for all, including myself."

Cameron, sitting down at the end of the table, smiled and nodded.

"Do go on," said Dumbledore, eyes glistening.

"With that understanding, I was reconciled to the Source of all power and able to accept help. A voice came to me and sheltered me from the attack. Then it showed me everything - the entirety of all that is, the Eternal: all Creation as the manifestation of the mind of God. And I saw all the spirits of all beings, although I couldn't tell them apart, not even my own and Voldemort's until those two were indicated to me. All the spirits had connections between them, like silver threads. Some of the threads were stronger and some more tenuous, some simple and some ornately braided, but they were beautiful and precious beyond any material objects, as were the spirits.

"The spirits were all splendid: on that scale, they all seemed very simple and pure, with any flaws seeming insignificantly small, at least as compared to the wondrousness of each and every one. They were all equal from that view: none was greater or lesser than another. That filled my heart with joy, since I often have felt that I wasn't worthy. I guess that's the result of how I was brought up, or maybe because the title The Boy Who Lived always seemed like an ill-fitting suit on me.

"On the other hand, Voldemort did not take it that way. He saw all of these things through my vision; he knew they were real because he too felt how effortlessly the guide staved off his attack. He could resist the view no more than I could, but as joyously as I received it was how appalled he was at it. Seeing that that he was not the greatest of all, that indeed he was no more significant than any other spirit, he was shattered. Of course, magic depends on the focus of the spirit. When his spirit was shattered, his ability to perform magic collapsed. Even the spells which maintained his conjured body were undone, leaving only the bones he had used from his father's grave, Peter Pettigrew's hand, and the blood of mine that he had used. And with that, I returned to my body."

Dumbledore looked over his glasses. "And the power that you and Voldemort had been sharing?"

Harry smiled sheepishly. "Erm, yes, that went into my body as well. It is very nice not to be sharing that with Voldemort, but more importantly, my mind no longer has anyone in it."

"With all the kind, generous and brave things you have done, I doubt anyone here would have suspected that your biggest stumbling block was simply learning to accept forgiveness for yourself," said Dumbledore.

"Well, hardly anyone," said Harry, glancing with a smile toward Cameron, "but one is not resolved with the Eternal through works, but through Grace. Who among us is so free from error as to achieve unity on his own? - certainly not I."

"Well, your victory is certainly good news."

"Yes, it is good news. I only wish that everyone here could experience what I did, and that is perhaps the most wonderful thing I learned, that it is available to any of us. If we set about actually practicing universal love, any of us can have reconciliation with the Eternal in our lives."

Then Cameron smiled and said, "Tryin' to put me out of a job, eh, Potter?"

Harry smiled back warmly. "Never, Reverend. I know who's the teacher and who's the student."

Then Snape spoke up. "Potter, after all I had done in the Order, after all the risks you know I've taken to fight the Dark Lord, after all the times I've acted to save your life, you still suspect me?"

"Professor, my mind knew all those facts, but my heart hadn't accepted them. Matters between us have been, erm, difficult, so when I was surprised by Voldemort like that, it played on my doubts."

"That was a specialty of his," muttered Snape with a slight slow nod.

"Is that really so different from what you've done? You know I'm not the swaggering arrogant bully you saw in my father. And yet for some reason - perhaps my appearance or my name - you couldn't see past what your heart was saying about those 'awful Potter boys.'"

"Fairly stated, Potter. I'll give that some thought. It seems that there is both cause and opportunity for reflection now. So do you still suspect me?"

"No, Professor. Not at all," said Harry firmly.

"What's turned you around?"

"It took all day to sink in, but my heart tells me this: I'll trust anyone who sheds tears for Minerva McGonagall," said Harry.

"As would I, Potter, as would I. Well put."

Snape sort of smiled - it looked like it pained him. Professor McGonagall had her hand over her mouth and was barely controlling herself.

"Headmaster, there's one more thing,' said Hermione.

"Hermione, please, no!" pled Harry quietly, anticipating what she intended.

"Harry, if what I suspect is true, then everyone must be told. First, they don't know the full extent of what you've done: just as Neville described, they think healing was just stressful because it was such deep magic. They don't know the depth of it. And soon, the glow of the day will wear off, and people will start to think of those you didn't heal, who will recuperate in their time. They'll think you were being thoughtless or lazy in not healing others as well.

"Harry, everyone expects powerful magic like that to be stressful, but when you healed Tonks, I saw your leg break, and then repair. And when you healed Professor Lupin, I saw you make the werewolf transformation. And ..., well there were just too many things you went through. It just went on and on and on and on. I was horrified. It seemed like each was more awful than the last. I don't think Voldemort himself could have put you through more than what you put yourself through. And each time I could see the reluctance in your eyes. When Madam Pomfrey administers a healing potion, she has no reluctance - she knows it has to be done - but she doesn't feel it. And this reluctance wasn't you getting focused - I could see the fear.

"Harry, you took, and felt, and suffered, every injury you healed, didn't you?"

Harry looked down. His secret was out. He gave a small nod, and every face in the Hall registered shock. Even Dumbledore seemed unable to comprehend the amount of pain Harry had endured over the previous 24 hours. Neville and Lupin sat down, weak-kneed, mouths agape, not having suspected the pain Harry had taken on their behalf. Madame Maxime beamed at Harry, her eyes glistening.

Hermione continued. "That's why I got so upset about Harry healing Mr. and Mrs. Longbottom. It's not that I wouldn't want them healed - that's wonderful and Harry's doing that is simply beautiful - but he had already been through so much pain and injury for so many people. I'm sure he felt he had to do it right then before he lost his nerve to bear it."

Professor McGonagall had tears down her cheeks already. "Potter," she said, then more throatily, "Harry - you took all those injuries, all those curses, you bore them for ... for so many of us? Why? How?"

"I reckon everybody just had to pitch in and do what they could do. And..." he breathed deeply, "that's the most helpful thing I could do right then. All of them would have died if I hadn't acted. I'm sure anyone else would have done the same."

But no one believed that this was so.

"But, Harry," said Hermione, "Mr. and Mrs. Longbottom weren't dying. I'm glad they're healed, but you had taken so much pain already ..."

"They may not have been dying, but you can't say that they were living either - you saw them. Neville and I both lost our parents to Voldemort. I'll never have mine back, and I have come to accept that, but I had it in my power to restore his. If there were any way to avoid that pain, I would have, I can assure you. The healers had their chance. What else could I do?"

Hermione came up to him and said quietly, "If I had known, I would have stopped you."

"Yeah, you and what army?" said Harry with a gentle laugh.

"But, Harry, can't you take some care for yourself?"

"I want to. I'm not sure I know how."

"Then let someone help you."

"I believe," added Professor Dumbledore, interrupting this private discussion, "that there is one more matter to address while we still have an assembly. Mr. Potter, would I be right in assuming that Voldemort's final attempt to kill you occurred at just about 20 minutes after five?"

Harry was amazed. "Yes, Professor Dumbledore, I know that was the time - it froze my watch. How did you know?"

"Because, Mr. Potter, you remember how I told you that there is a life bond when one wizard saves another's life? I believe you were not drawing strength merely from those who happened to be nearby, but from all those who had such a life bond with you, although it may have been more pronounced among those nearest. Only magic at its deepest could provide the support you needed. Such a life bond is formed whether you or the person whose life has been preserved knows that your actions have protected them.

"Miss Granger described a 'centaur kick' that the rest of your volunteers felt when you were attacked. That was the sudden marshalling of the extra strength you needed to repel a very powerful curse - probably the most focused curse ever cast by the most powerful dark wizard in modern times, perhaps of all time. They were not the only ones to feel that kick. I want to ask everyone who was beset with a sudden severe pain at that time to rise, so we can all see what a difference Mr. Potter's efforts have made."

With that Dumbledore himself rose, followed quickly by Hagrid, Madame Maxime and Professor McGonagall, then the rest of the staff, even Snape (with some reluctance). This was followed by the scraping of the benches at the tables, as the entire school rose. Harry turned slowly, surveying the spectacle. Tears welled in his eyes, as the enormity of it pressed in on him. He felt very, very small.

"I just tried to do what I could."

"Yes, exactly, Harry. You did. You tried to do what you could. Again and again, you did what was right rather than what was easy - and this, this is the fruit of your labors."

Harry was overwhelmed. "I ... I didn't know. Thank you, thank you all."

Professor McGonagall lifted her goblet. "Thank you, Mr. Potter. To Harry Potter."

And all the school raised their goblets and chimed, "To Harry Potter."

After the school had sat again, Professor Dumbledore gestured to the open spaces amongst the tables, inviting the returned raiding party to take seats. This they did without regard for which houses they were or had been in.

"Well, well," said Professor Dumbledore. "I had already made arrangements to put off the Hogwarts' Express for a day so that it could take more of our recuperating students. However, it appears that this gives us the extra time to accommodate a celebration. I do not believe I could prevent one if I wanted to, and I most certainly do not. We have paid respects to those who were lost; we will grieve; we will erect memorials; but celebration is the order of the day. We are having owls sent to all of your families to explain events and invite them, as well as having notified the Ministry of Magic and the various wizard wireless stations. Arrangements will also be made to assist muggle families who would care to join our festivities."

"In the meantime, some arrangements. There will be no House Cup this year, or rather it is awarded to all Houses, as all participated valiantly and admirably in the defense of the school and this victory."

With that, Dumbledore clapped his hands and the decorations took on the various colours of all the houses. The castle had a delightful rainbow of hues that was far merrier than any one house's colours alone could be.

Dumbledore went on. "We have some guests here who may want to get some rest before the celebration begins in earnest: please accommodate them appropriately in your various dormitories and give them an opportunity to actually rest if they so desire. I also would like to ask the proprietors of Weasley's Wizard Wheezes if they could be commissioned for one of their wonderful fireworks demonstrations, starting at, say, midnight, at the lake?"

Fred and George rose and looked at each other and exchanged mischievous grins and nodded.

George replied, "No, sir, you may not. We will accept no such commission. We will, however, treat the school and guests to a show. We would appreciate ten or so volunteers to come with us after the feast to our Hogsmeade shop to help us bring supplies over and set things up."

Dumbledore smiled. "I'm sure you will have all the help you need. All students assisting Fred and George Weasley may leave the grounds for that purpose. The fireworks volunteers may meet on the front steps. Now I think the time has come for the feast to begin, or we shall raise too high the ire of the house elves. Begin."

Dumbledore clapped his hands and the serving dishes filled with all manner of delicious foods. Harry doubted that they were any better or worse prepared than they had ever been, but they certainly tasted fresher, more savory, altogether better to Harry than anything had in years. The feast proceeded quite slowly, as the students were wont to mill about and visit with the members of the raiding party and their friends made in other houses. Harry's back was slapped and hand shaken more times than he could count. No matter how many times he tried to protest that it was everyone's victory, he was reminded that it was he who had prepared them all.

He was approached by the Patil sisters, who said they had unfinished business with him from the summer before. Before Harry could respond, Harry heard each of them cry "Oh," and put their hands over their faces. Between their fingers he could see bat wings. As they ran off, he looked around and saw Ginny turning back toward the Ravenclaw table, where she was sitting.

Despite Harry's great appetite, eating was a difficult matter, as he was so often interrupted by back slaps, handshakes, more than a few kisses. For tonight, Harry was public property. Some people would have become annoyed through all this, but to Harry it was as refreshing and welcome as a cool butterbeer after a very long training session.