The War of Shades

Chapter 26 - A New Plan for the DA

By the end of breakfast, Ron returned to the camp. He clearly enjoyed the enthusiastic welcome, and with the wraparound mirrored sunglasses had something of the look of a celebrity aviator or astronaut. He just as clearly also enjoyed the hearty breakfast, since he had made a point of getting released from St, Mungo's before he had to eat another hospital meal. At the end of breakfast, the students who had volunteered to supplement the aurors and adult volunteers went with Moody to be integrated into teams, taught procedures and tactics, and learn the laws they were required to observe. It turned out they were sorely needed and immediately. Voldemort initially redoubled his efforts to spread terror, at least partially as a means of punishing those who had played a part in the kidnapping and ambush. With the volunteers already available, the Ministry had more teams available and could more thoroughly respond to the attacks.

The student auxiliaries were remarkably effective, using dependable patronuses and disabling the dark witches and wizards on the raids at a far higher rate than the aurors and adult auxiliaries alone had. Partly that was the result of their training. The aurors, the older volunteers and even the dark wizards had been trained by those who believed in the pureblood cultural norm of wizards' duels. Even though there was no waiting for the niceties of a wand salute, there was still a certain amount of ritual to their approach. On the other hand, Harry had known next to none of this and only cared to teach how to stay alive. It was akin to a medieval knight drawing his sword on a modern soldier with a high-powered rifle. By the end of the month, Voldemort was forced to reduce attacks so as to cut attrition, though there were still attacks being made in bunches at least twice a day, usually more.

Ernie had been more than eager to participate. On his first response team, he disarmed the dark wizard accompanying the dementor which had been sent out. Even after disabling his opponent, he hit the wizard with exceedingly painful and disfiguring curses, although he avoided killing or using Cruciatus. He had to be stopped by the auror on the response team, who modified the wizard's memory and made sure the report attributed the injuries to 'overenthusiastic apprehension.' After they got back, Harry sought Ernie out.

"So, Ernie, how was it?" asked Harry.

Ernie looked at Harry a few seconds, and then looked down, shaking his head. "I thought hurting one of them would feel better than it did."

Harry nodded. "I know. I tried to punish Bellatrix LeStrange when she killed my godfather, and it didn't give me any satisfaction. What I wanted was my godfather back, but hurting her wouldn't do that. Causing them pain just doesn't cure the pain in your heart, not for a decent person, like you."

"I feel a hole inside. Hurting them is sort of like hanging a picture over a hole in a wall. It just covers it, but the hole's still there."

"Exactly, and it's not a very pretty picture that's being hung," said Harry. "Are you ready to talk to Reverend MacBoon?"

"I reckon I'd better. I wouldn't want to become something she would be ashamed of."

"That's the idea - you can't bring her back, but you can carry her on in yourself by living up to her virtues and her hopes for you. Let me introduce you to him."

Harry brought Ernie to Reverend MacBoon's desk and gave a brief explanation of the situation, leaving it to Ernie to discuss the details he wanted to. Over the remainder of the month, he noticed that Ernie had a number of long talks with Cameron, and while it was hard to tell with the sunglasses on, he thought he could often detect the telltale puffiness around the eyes of someone who was dealing with inner pain. Ernie continued to participate in the response teams and developed a reputation for being particularly daring and ruthless in trying to apprehend the enemy, but was never again said to have continued hexes after apprehension or disabling.

The remainder of the month passed quickly for Harry. The redoubled efforts at training and additional responses to attacks were part of the reason, but the biggest factor was that Harry had someone he could be open and playful with. Ron and Hermione were still his best friends, but they had been spending a lot of their free time together privately at least since Harry had arrived at training camp.

Harry and Tonks both had plenty of duties and obligations, but they seemed to find opportunities several times a day to get together. Harry was almost always there when Tonks returned from a response to a raid. The first time he was shaking worse than she was and she playfully hit him in the chest.

"You're supposed to be comforting ME, you git, not the other way around! But it's okay, fella - it feels good to have someone worry over me."

In training and exercises they challenged each other to be stronger, faster, quicker-reflexed, smarter, more self-composed. But it was not all training and fighting: they found their times for tenderness as well. With someone special in his life to care about, the horrors of the war seemed tolerable, and the days flowed easily.

Even Ginny seemed less hostile, not friendly exactly, but neutral. Perhaps Molly had reassured her that the initial stories were just rumors, or perhaps Harry's and Tonks's openness about a relationship led her to accept this as the current reality, but she was at least civil to Harry. When he needed to work directly with her - in dueling and apparation - she listened attentively and did exactly as she was instructed. Harry had the feeling she was searching his eyes as he talked to her, but he could not be certain through the sunglasses.

The sunglasses were probably the most frustrating thing to deal with: Harry wanted to look into people's faces and it just wasn't the same if you couldn't see their eyes. Harry had never fully comprehended how much eyes added to conversation, letting you know where thoughts were coming from, not just the words being said. Harry understood the need for the glasses, but it still got annoying.

Harry looked forward to the trip to Diagon Alley for school supplies, since most of the people there would not be wearing sunglasses, but then orders came down that none of them would be doing their own shopping. Each student made out a list of the things they needed for the school year. Madame Malkin came to Longbottom Manor one evening to take measurements for all the students who needed new robes, and promised that the robes would be waiting for them when they got to school. This all seemed sensible and efficient to Harry, but terribly frustrating - he had wanted to look people in the face, to see eyes looking back at him. There is a connection in eye-to-eye contact more fundamental than legilemency. He had even thought to buy new robes even though he didn't really need them, but then he saw that Madame Malkin had sunglasses on and he went and grumbled to Tonks about the situation. She found a way to soothe his frustration.

One disturbing trend Harry noticed was that there was a considerable increase in quarreling. Always there will be some disagreements when so many disparate people have to spend so long in close quarters. But in the final two weeks of training camp, the level began to rise quite dramatically. Harry would have chalked it up to the tensions from responding to the attacks, but he noticed it even among the students who were not allowed to participate because of patronuses or apparation. One morning before breakfast, he came around a corner to find Neville and Michael Corner squared off against each other with wands drawn, apparently ready to attack, but as soon as they saw Harry, they straightened up, put their wands away and greeted him as if nothing had happened. When Harry asked about it, they looked at him as if he was daft.

A couple of days before the end of August, Harry came up to the lethifold practice room in the afternoon to find Professor Snape leaving it. As always with Professor Snape, Harry's feelings were very mixed: resentment, of course, for the years of hard and unreasonable treatment, some recognition that Snape had grown up in harsh surroundings akin to that which Harry had known, knowledge that Professor Dumbledore trusted Snape completely, guilt at having looked into Snape's memories in the pensieve, and even a bit of gratitude, as in the course of examining his life and relationships had recognized the times that Snape had acted to protect Harry and his friends, although often in the most grudging manner. Harry decided to try for responding amiably.

"Good morning, Professor. What brings you here/"

"Hm, Potter. Nothing brings me here - I am perfectly capable of transporting myself."

"I didn't mean that. I was just ..."

"I know, Potter, being nosy as usual, thinking you had to have your finger in every pot."

Just then a noise arose outside. They both looked out the nearest window and saw Fred and George Weasley and auror Wimbush on the one hand fighting against six students on the other hand. It was immediately apparent that this was no duel but an uncontrolled, angry exchange.

"Your 'leadership' is apparent," said Snape, with a smug smirk.

"My leadership? I have nothing to do with this."

"If you say so," said Snape, then sneeringly adding Harry's DA nickname, "Coach."

Harry had to grit his teeth to let that go. He glanced out the window again and saw Moody breaking up the fight.

"I must be going," said Harry curtly.

"As must I."

In the practice room, Harry asked Remus, "What was Snape doing here?"

"Ah, Harry, you'll be back in school in a few days, you had best accustom yourself to sating 'Professor.'

"Okay, Professor," said Harry with a grin. "What was Snape doing here?"

"Harry, you must observe the forms, even when you don't feel the respect the titles imply. And truly, as much as you like dear Severus, you must admit he knows Potions like few others do. And that, of course, is what brought him here - both bringing me my Wolfsbane Potion for tonight's full moon and picking up some ingredients from the greenhouses that are very hard to grow."

"Really, so Neville is growing things that others find difficult?"

"Indeed. Severus has said every time he's been here how grateful he is for the excellent quality of the plants and how impressed he's been with Neville's work."

"Has he told Neville that?"

Remus snorted. "Oh, some now, Harry. We are speaking of Professor Snape."

"Ah, yes. So how long has he been coming here. I hadn't seen him before."

"Oh, a couple of weeks I'd say." Then Remus arched an eyebrow at him, "I can't imagine what might have distracted you in the evenings when he's dropped in."

Harry had to suppress a grin, knowing it would be particularly inappropriate around Remus.

Remus sighed. "It's okay, Harry. I'm mature enough to recognize that certain of the disappointments in my life are of my own doing. Despite my, erm, well, I'll have to admit to some jealousy, I have been able to step back a bit and appreciate the improvement in mood for both you and Tonks. And it has forced me to look at my life and appreciate how I have been letting life pass me by."

"That's great, Remus, because I hope you know that if anything had been going on between, I mean, if there was ..."

"Say no more, Harry. The needs of her life were not being met. She found someone who could be the man she needed. I bear no grudges."

Just then, instead of the last 3 Hogwarts' students who had yet to master the patronus, all the members of the DA filed into the lethiform pit.

"Coach," said Ron, with a bemused twang to his voice, "several of us have had an idea about DA, and so we got everyone to meet today to hash it out."

"Let me guess, we're going to become a Gilbert & Sullivan society instead?"

"Ooh, that'd be fun," said Hermione, "but what we - Ron and Ernie and I, mostly - have been thinking about is a reorganization."

"I thought the team structure worked well, but what have you got in mind?"

Now it was Ernie's turn, "We thought that we should develop specific skills for specific threats, as well as continuing to work on dueling skills - and the patronus, for those that still need to. We thought we'd have three divisions for training purposes: ground forces: not just training together, but learning to work in combinations; air forces: fighting from their brooms in formation; and the trainees, who will be brought up to speed on their basic skills before integrating them into teams within the air and ground divisions."

Harry looked puzzled, "Aren't wizards on brooms very vulnerable to spells from wizards on the ground? There's no cover after all."

"Harry, we don't want to say all that we are thinking on this to you, since you aren't the only one who hears it," said Hermione. "We have reasons to think it's a good idea."

"What do the rest of you think about this?" asked Harry to the whole group.

Dean Thomas spoke up first. "You know, it doesn't sound to me like we'd be changing all that much. We'd have intensive work with the beginners, which we did last year, but we had an awful lot more of them, so that was pretty much the whole first half of the year. This year, we shouldn't have but about 200-250 beginners, so we can train them separately while the rest work on advanced skills. Those working on advanced skills can work on formations and coordinated attacks and the like - some on brooms and the rest on the ground."

"Well, I still like the idea of having teams of fifteen to twenty-five, with one of you in charge of each one," said Harry, and they all agreed that this arrangement had worked well. "I assume you've given some thought to leadership."

Ron started to act sheepish, but then Hermione spoke up. "Ron and Ernie did a wonderful job organizing for both the Spring Skirmish and the Battle of Gringotts. Ron is good on a broom, so he can lead our air force and Ernie can lead the ground forces."

"Anybody feel like starting a Navy?" joked Ginny, and in response Fred and George did a hornpipe dance.

"I suppose I'll be relegated to teaching?" said Harry with a smirk.

"What's wrong with teaching?" asked Remus.

"Harry, you'll be everywhere, like you always have been," said Hermione. "Yes, your first responsibility will be to bring the beginners up to speed, but as they get competent, we can place them on teams and work on more advanced spells within the teams like we did last year."

"Harry," said Neville, "You wouldn't be shunted off to the beginners. It's just that you're amazing when you teach. Anyone who can make a fighter out of me has got it on the ball for teaching."

"Yeah, if I'm so hot, where's your patronus?"

Neville stared back defiantly (though Harry could only guess this through the sunglasses), "It'll come - I'm more mindful of how far you've brought me."

"Okay, Neville, point made."

"Harry," said Ron, "we want you involved everywhere you can be. You seem always to be able to work out a solution and get us over whatever's holding us back - you aren't on any one team because you're on all the teams."

"Remus, what do you reckon about all this?" asked Harry.

"It sounds like there's a lot of enthusiasm for it and you'd be getting the most out of your resources. Just two things I'd want to ask Ron."

"What's that, mate?"

"Are you going to keep your broom forces sharp on their dueling?"

"Absolutely. We wouldn't just be flying; we plan on being ready to fight from brooms."

"Wow, that sounds splendid, and so the other question is: can I join your group?"

Ron grinned. "That would be awesome - at least when there's no full moon."

"I'll run it by Dumbledore," said Harry, "but he let Fred and George join us, Cho's staying with us, and there have been quite a number of other ex-students contacting him to say they'd like to join, too. I guess we can't have too many willing fighters on our side. I'd like some extra help with the beginners, though: Hermione's been helping me all along, and Luna's been our scribe as well as topnotch on fundamentals. I'd like Ginny and Neville to help me as well."

"What, why us?" they both asked, as Hermione and Luna just nodded their agreement.

"Neville, you relate well to those who start at the bottom on skills and you're scary intense, and Ginny, I've seen you working with the younger students all last year and you have an excellent rapport."

"You think so? You noticed?" asked Ginny.

"I wasn't communicating much - that doesn't mean I wasn't seeing what was going on."

"Well, alright then," she said, with a blush and a smile, as Neville nodded his agreement to help.

"Okay then," said Harry, "let's put it to a vote."

The reorganization won without a negative vote.

After the rest had left and Harry and Remus had worked one last time at the Manor on patronuses with those who still needed it, Harry used the mirror to call Professor Dumbledore. He explained the proposal. Dumbledore agreed with the idea.

"I can't tell you how good it is, Professor, to be able to look at someone who isn't wearing sunglasses."

"Ah, yes, I should imagine. 'Eyes are the windows of the soul,' so they say. I trust you have accepted the need for them."

"Yes, sir."

"I do have some good news for you in that regard. You are going to have a special-project student this year who will not be wearing sunglasses."

"That's great! But why no glasses."

"Well, one reason is that we couldn't find any to fit him," Dumbledore said with a laugh. "It's Hagrid. I have spoken with Minister Weasley, who agreed that Hagrid's formal pardon was long overdue. Now he needs full training as a wizard. There is no one more capable of bringing him up to snuff in a single year than yourself. So we decided that Hagrid would just not be in on any privy information while he still needs training."

"Well, of course, I'm glad to do anything I can for Hagrid, but how will I fit that in with all the other training I do, my studies with Cameron, quidditch and preparing for my NEWTs?"

"Harry, how much study for your NEWTs do you really need?"

"Do you mean because I already have my defense NEWT?"

"No, although that is relevant. I mean that you have said yourself that you know everything Voldemort knows. Tom Riddle got outstanding on all his NEWTs and he has only added to his knowledge since then. You weren't unprepared even without his knowledge. The only topics you need to learn are the developments in the past fifty years that would not interest him, like the Wolfsbane Potion. All the teachers have been made aware of your special project, as well as the limited additional preparation you will need, and they will be adjusting your assignments accordingly. Except for Professor Snape, of course."

"Of course."

"He does have a point, though, Harry: one can know the formulas but be unable to execute them when it comes time to brew them. Practice is crucial. All the teachers agreed, so they will expect you to demonstrate the skills, but not expect homework of you so long as you can perform. That is, except Professor Snape, of course."

"Of course," said Harry, with a wry smile. "So has Hagrid gotten a new wand, or is he going to try to perform magic with the remains of his original wand."

"I don't know what you mean, Harry," said Dumbledore with a twinkle in his eye. "It would have been illegal for Hagrid to keep his original wand. It must therefore have been disposed of."

"Oh, yes, of course, how silly of me. Hagrid would never skirt Ministry laws."

"He went to Diagon Alley for his new wand the moment he stopped crying after receiving the Ministry orders. I can assure you that you will never find a more eager student."

"I'm sure of that. Maybe I can even teach him to cook for people who don't have giant teeth."

"Harry, there's one other thing," said Dumbledore more seriously.

"Yes, Professor?"

"Now that Voldemort and the Order know the Prophecy, don't you think it's time your friends knew as well?"

"I guess they should know why I always seem to be at the center of things. Alright, I'll do it very soon."

"I think you'll find your self considerably lightened by sharing the load."

"I could do with that, I think."

The evening before the students were to return to Hogwarts, all the school supplies were delivered to each student's bedside. After dinner, the students went to their rooms to get their things packed. Many of them packed magically and went out to the summers' end quidditch game. Harry made excuses and packed his things the muggle way. Even for not using magic, he was taking a very long time packing. Soon he was the only one left in the room. After a while, he heard the door creak.

"Not like you to miss a quidditch game, Harry," said Tonks quietly, shutting the door behind her.

"Oh, well, I, ..." Harry trailed off.

"Didja think you were going to leave without saying good-bye?"

Harry turned to her. "I don't want there to be a good-bye at all."

"Oh?"

"It's been great being with you, Tonks. Around everyone else, I feel constrained, like I can't really be myself. Being around you gives me freedom. I love that feeling and ... I love you."

"And I love you, too, Harry. There's no one else like you in the world. Being with you is like basking in the summer sun."

"Yeah. That describes how I feel, too."

"That's how love should feel."

"I'm not ready for it to end. There's no 'Finite Incantatem' that will make me suddenly stop loving you."

"There'd better not be. I don't want to stop loving you and I don't want you to stop loving me. But we have different directions we have to go."

"For all your flippancy, you're such a responsible person, right now annoyingly so."

"There aren't any airheads in the Order. Or in the auror corps."

"No," said Harry with a smile. "I knew you'd say we had to move on. That's why I didn't want to finish up. The longer I stayed here, the longer I could feel there was still an 'us'."

"And yet the clock keeps ticking, Harry. Count off enough ticks, and you'll be headed to the station and I'll be headed back to the Ministry. Mrs. Longbottom might be willing to let us stay here, but it'd be kind of odd with the training camp closed."

"I could stay in London," said Harry hopefully.

"No, Harry. There's a war on, remember? We have obligations. I have to fight. You have to train the students and Hagrid."

"I've got Hogsmeade weekends, and Christmas break and ..." he stopped on seeing Tonks shaking her head.

"Harry, move on. I will be. If I get a good opening with someone nice, I'm taking it. There's nothing wrong with us having had a brief romance. It was fantastic for me, and it seems it was for you, too."

"It hurts to call things off."

"I know, sweetheart, but it's better this way than calling things off after we have come to hate each other."

"I don't think I could hate you," said Harry.

"Probably not," she said, "but we will grow apart, and then in trying to get together and recreate this special time, things wouldn't feel right. And then trying to deal with each other and break up nicely would be very hard. That's one of the things you have to accept about dating an 'older woman': I've broken up with guys enough times to have a pretty good idea when you have to just make a clean break of things. We had a summer romance; it was beautiful; I'll always love you; I hope you'll love me, too; and now it's time to part."

"Okay. I know you're right. It'll hurt a while, but we have obligations," Harry sighed, and then put his arms around her waist, "Can I have one last kiss?"

She smiled and said "I hope you have more than just one last kiss for me."