The War of Shades

Chapter 13 Nocturnal Meetings

It was after 10 when Harry headed back to his dorm room. Most of the house had settled down as the day's activities would start very early, most of the adults grudgingly agreeing to the students' practice of a very early morning run. However, when Harry got to the room, he found Ron leaning against the wall outside the door.

"Hi, Ron," Harry called quietly, "why're you out here?"

Ron startled. Obviously he had dozed off. "Hrm, huh! Harry!" he said cheerfully, and then changed to sternly, "Harry!! Ginny came back from your little 'walk' crying. Speaking for her brothers, I want you to know that we don't sit idly by while any bloke upsets her!"

At first taken aback by Ron's tone, Harry started to become amused, and said in mock fear, "Oh, no. I'm being threatened by Ronald Weasley - whatever shall I do?"

"Now, Harry, don't make fun of me, this is serious!"

"I'm sure it is, Ron. But you need to do it right - maybe you'll find it more effective to lean on me with some help - here come the twins. I hate to think what they've been up to. Fred! George!"

"Harry, no, don't call them!"

"You're speaking for all her brothers, right. I'm sure they'll want to add to the intimidation."

"What is it, Harry?" said George.

"I'm afraid something I said to her made Ginny upset, so Ron wants to rough me up a bit. I reckoned you two would want to be in on it."

"You mean like make book?" asked Fred. "We couldn't make anything on that."

"No, no, you two could help him rough me up. You know, wands at twenty paces, or something like that," said Harry.

The twins looked at him, then at Ron, and then at each other, then back at Harry, and burst out laughing.

"Tell you what, Harry," said George, "you two have at it first, then when you're worn out we'll take what's left of Ron to St. Mungo's"

"Oi, now," said Ron, "I'm not that bad in a fight."

Fred giggled. "Of course, you're not, Ron, if you were fighting someone else. But Harry could take all three of us in a duel while catching a snitch and not break a sweat. Tell you what, Ron; we'll get you off the hook here. Ginny's got six big brothers, but Harry only has one best friend - let us do the brother thing and you do the friend thing, alright?"

While he agreed this made some sort of sense, Ron didn't like how things had gone. "Hrmf! I reckon, but why even bother. It's pretty hard to be protective at this point anyway."

"Oh, no, Ron. You're right. Ginny has brothers and it's our job to weed out the cads," said George.

"You think Harry might be a cad?" asked Fred to George.

"Well, you never can tell," said George, "He's just so cute and he has that disarming boyish charm. He could be a real wolf in sheep's clothing."

"Right, then," said Fred, "Harry Potter, you have upset our little sister - did you overpower her?"

"No," said Harry indignantly.

"Did you deceive her?" Fred went on.

"No."

"Did you pressure her to do things she wasn't keen on?" said George.

"Oh, good one," said Fred..

"No, of course not. We didn't DO anything but talk," said Harry.

"Well, then, did you try to overwhelm her with your fame and fortune?" said George.

"Like she's ever cared about that."

"Well, you know she did at first, before she found out what a geek you are," said Fred.

"Oh, thanks," said Harry, "You two are just what I needed."

"Well, then," said George, "I think we have a case here of a teenage girl getting emotional because a boy she's long had her eye on has paid her attention. This sounds like a good case for going to bed."

"Listen, Harry," said Fred, "as far as we're concerned, so long as you don't take advantage of her, we'd be pleased to see you two together and we aren't going to make an issue of what you two do on a date, okay?"

"It wasn't a date. We just went for a walk and talked," said Harry.

"You took a girl on a walk after dinner and she came back crying? Sounds like a date to me," said Fred.

"Well that's how Ron's dates seem to go, anyway," said George, "when either of us takes out a girl, she obviously can't be too picky or proud, and she's got a pretty good idea what she's getting into."

"Yeah, you'd better talk to Ron about what it's like to take an interest in a girl who's sensitive and selective. We wouldn't have a clue," said Fred. "And with that, we will bid adieu." Then the twins went to the room they were staying in.

Harry turned to Ron. "So do you want to talk about it, or just posture?"

"Well, I just felt I had to confront you, Harry, I've always been protective of her."

"I actually think that's fine, but you needn't use a belligerent tone. Now, speaking of protectiveness, I'm pretty protective of Hermione - were the twins right, are you making her cry now?"

"I don't mean to. She's just so tetchy at times."

"Yeah, well, it comes with the territory. Girls seem to do a lot of crying when they're dating. At least that's been my experience. So it sounds like the twins are right - you two are dating," said Harry happily, clapping Ron on the shoulder, "Are you actually admitting it to yourselves?"

Just then the door behind Harry opened. They turned as they heard Hermione loudly whisper, "Could you hold it down out here!?" Then as her head rounded the door, she said, "Oh, Harry. Hi, what's up?" She came out in her dressing gown.

"So Hermione," said Harry with a smirk, "Ron was just telling me the two of you are dating."

"Harry," said Ron, "I don't think I ..."

"Oh, he did, did he?" said Hermione with a bemused smile, "he actually called it that, hm?"

"Why?" said Harry, "what was he calling it before? How long have you two been open?"

"Oh, we'd really not admitted it to ourselves until this summer. I suppose if you look back, some of our ways could appear to be flirting - maybe it was. I think what turned it for me was seeing how maturely he faced the Edgecombes after ... you know. He didn't have to be there, they were coming to see you. Since then, ..., well, we've been writing to each other this summer and then finding ways to be together since we've been here," said Hermione to Harry, then turning to peer at Ron, "Or are you still trying to say we're just a couple of friends?"

"Hermione," Ron hissed, then squaring up, "No, Harry, she's right. I'm not keen on putting it into words, but we've been, uh, seeing each other."

"Mmm," said Harry mischievously, "How much of each other?"

"Harry Potter!" said Hermione, sounding quite like Mrs. Weasley, "I hope you mean 'how frequently' by that question, because any other interpretation is quite beyond being any business of yours!"

Harry grinned. "Things must be going alright then. But I hear he's been making you cry - shall I give him a beating?"

"As IF, Harry," said Ron, with as much humor as indignation.

"I don't think that will be necessary. We girls just tend to be a bit emotional."

"Oh, really?" said Harry, in feigned surprise, "I hadn't noticed." Then he got serious, "Hermione, Ron wants to know how I made Ginny cry. I'll need your help to make a clean breast of things."

"Breast!" said Ron heatedly, "Don't go talking about breasts and my sister!"

"He means," said Hermione, exasperatedly, "he wants to clear the air about some things, Ron. Honestly!"

"Oh, yeah, right," said Ron sheepishly, "there's just certain words that, uh, never mind - what's to clear up, Harry?"

"Okay, well the first thing is really none of your business, but you need to know for the rest to make sense - last summer Ginny was suggesting that she and I become a couple."

"Yeah, okay, I'm not surprised. She can be pretty straightforward about things," said Ron.

"Okay, then, you also know that I was distant from everyone, so I turned her down," said Harry.

"I remember seeing her upset after your first visit last year, but I figured it was because of the danger building up."

"Well, Ron, that wasn't her only cause for upset."

"Okay, is that all?"

"No, here's the kicker. In late winter and early spring, I found myself in a relationship with Marietta. Hold on - let me finish! You didn't know because she was insistent on keeping it a secret, especially from certain original DA members who had not well accepted her. She also didn't want to be known as Harry Potter's girl. She broke up with me because she couldn't take the danger that surrounds me. I believe she took the position at the gargoyle in the battle because she wanted to prove she could face danger - I don't know if she was proving it to me or to herself - who can say?"

"She did beautifully in the end," said Ron nodding. "That must have been rough on you. So you opened up to Ginny about that, and that set her off."

"Well, when she left me, she seemed just annoyed, maybe angry."

"The step from anger to tears is very small, Harry, particularly in teenage girls," said Hermione, "Trust me on that."

"I'll second that," said Ron, a little too enthusiastically for Hermione's liking. "Okay, I can see all that. But why did you need Hermione here?"

"Well, first, just in case you got mad. And second, in case you needed any of this confirmed."

Ron got red in the face. "You ... you KNEW about all this, Hermione, and didn't let on!? How could you keep this from me?"

"Ron, I promised. Harry needed someone to confide in. You've told me some things you wouldn't want me to share with Harry. How could you trust me with those things if I had betrayed Harry's confidences?"

"But, you kept secrets ... from me! I thought we were being open!"

"Ron, I'm keeping no secrets that concern you or me. I kept Harry's confidences because he desperately needed a friend who could accept Marietta as his girlfriend."

Ron frowned and then nodded. "Of course, you're right, Hermione. You're a real friend when a friend is needed. That's one of the things I lo-, erm, like so much about you."

She looked cockeyed at him and then said "You should be grateful to Marietta, actually, Ron."

"How's that?"

"Harry's not in the shell he built for himself last year. He's opening back up to us. Letting us be his friend. He was talking openly at dinner and now he's coming to us for emotional and romantic advice,"

"Yeah, I like that a lot better, Harry. But so, why would that upset Ginny?"

"Ron!!" said Hermione, with bemused exasperation, "How did you ever get a girlfriend!?"

"I think she's a stalker, actually, and I just gave up. So how 'bout you explain it to me."

"Even if she wasn't still interested in Harry, it hurts to know he's been with someone else!"

"What!? Like I'm staked out territory?" interrupted Harry.

"Well, you could put it that way,' she replied.

"If we even talked that way about girls, we'd be given no end of grief."

"Yes, you would. What's your point?"

"Well, Hermione," said Harry, "How can it be right for a girl to act the very way she blasts us boys for!?"

"I didn't say it was 'right.' I described her perception. Honestly, you're both such trolls! You're thinking logically, not emotionally. When a girl admits to herself that she fancies someone, it feels to her like she's invested some of herself in him. Then if anyone else steps in, it's violating that little bit of her."

"But Hermione, we didn't talk last summer as if we might consider being a couple more than 2 or 3 minutes. How does that give her proprietary rights?"

"Well, maybe not proprietary, but a girl's interests are not going to just flit around, like a bee visiting flowers. Well, not a decent girl, like Ginny." Then she glared at Ron again, "Some girls have to be patient with a boy for years." Ron was taken aback by the sudden attention. Then Hermione continued with Harry, "Of course, you know she's dated several boys, but those were really very light relationships. Besides, I don't think she's given up on you."

"Well, that's kind of what she told me. She doesn't think I'm over Marietta yet, and thinks I need to be before I pursue a relationship with anyone else."

"So, Harry, is she right? Are you not over Marietta yet?"

"I don't brood over her, but when I was telling Ginny about her I started to ... get emotional."

"Sounds like something you need to talk out, Harry, but I'm not so sure I'm the best one for that. I've never lost anyone very close to me. Is there someone older you can talk to?"

"Hmm, who's here? Tonks, the twins- I don't think so. Mrs. Longbottom - this isn't something I can talk with her about. Moody? - no. I could use the mirror to talk to Remus or Dumbledore, but they're awfully busy."

"Harry Potter, you are not going back to a go-it-alone attitude. Dumbledore made sure that mirror was repaired so you could tell him what was up, and your emotional pain is just as much a concern to him as your scar pain - you call him tonight!"

Harry grinned and winked at her, saying, "Yes, Maam."

"Oh, you! Just because I'm the one to give you a kick in the pants occasionally, doesn't mean I'm your Mummy."

"I know. And you're right. I need to let Dumbledore know what's going on," said Harry smiling, "Thanks, Ron, I really needed this talk."

"Oh, yeah, sure, Harry anytime, glad I could be of help," said Ron, making a goofy face over how little of it he had been.

Harry went down the hall to find a private place away from the dorms to call Dumbledore. As he turned the corner, he glanced back and saw Hermione and Ron in a lingering goodnight kiss. He couldn't resist calling down the hall, as quietly as he could and still be heard, "Hey, get a room!"

Harry decided the bathroom would be his best bet for a private talk. He didn't want to go downstairs, and on this floor there were people occasionally passing by. Of course, people had to go to the bathroom at times, as well, but with the door locked they should be willing to go either to the first floor or the third. For that matter, if one of the men had the need, he might just go outside instead.

As Harry thought about it, he wondered how the bathrooms of Longbottom manor would accommodate some 100-odd people. To his knowledge there were only two bathrooms with bath facilities, and three others with toilet and sink. When he got to the second-floor bathroom, he learned the answer - a magically expanded facility. In fact, going through the door he was familiar with, instead of finding the expected plumbing fixtures, Harry was confronted with two doors - men's to the left, women's to the right. Entering the men's door, Harry was surprised to find a facility every bit as large as the Little Whinging Rec Center locker room. There was a whole row of showers and sinks on the left and a row of toilet stalls and urinals on the right.

It made sense that such a facility would be conjured for the duration, but Harry was left with a dilemma. While he could seal the door, it would be hard to explain to someone wanting to come in, since he could not possibly be using all of any of the fixtures. He decided to sit in one of the toilet stalls and just be alert for anyone coming in. As he entered the stall, he realized that he was in need of it for the more usual reasons. When he was finished (preferring to finish before he spoke to anyone), he remained seated and pulled out the mirror.

He held the mirror close and softly called, "Professor Dumbledore? Professor Dumbledore, are you there?"

Harry waited. It always took a few seconds for someone being called to realize he was being called, pick up the mirror and answer. Harry called again and waited again. There was no answer. Dumbledore must be out or occupied, though Harry. He decided he would try calling Remus instead.

This time Harry spoke a bit louder. "Remus? Remus, are you there?"

Harry was prepared to wait the few seconds, but instead, he heard immediately and almost right next to him, "Harry, is that you?"

The immediate response so startled Harry that he dropped the mirror. He grabbed for it a few times, but it just tumbled through his hands. At the last second, he extended his legs and caught the mirror in the crotch of his pants.

"Is everything okay in there?" Remus voice was right outside the stall.

Harry caught his breath. His heart was still pounding. "Remus, I was just calling you on the mirror. You almost gave me a heart attack. I didn't expect you to respond so quickly or so ... near. I thought I was the only one in here."

"Oh, you must have entered as I was drying off in the shower stall. I was listening to music with headphones on so I didn't hear you enter."

Harry picked up the mirror, got his clothes back in order, and came out. He smiled. "Good to see you, Remus."

Lupin was wearing only a towel wrapped around his waist. Harry looked at his chest and legs and his mouth dropped open.

"What's the matter, Harry? Oh, I get it. You've never seen my scars before. As a werewolf, I often bite myself or push through tight places with sharp edges. By the time I change back the scars have set in. My face is merely haggard - don't deny it, I know it's true - because I can't bite it and even a werewolf avoids pain to his sensitive snout."

"I'm sorry. I should have guessed that you'd have scars, but I had never really thought about it. Erm, well, on the other hand, at least you keep fit."

"Thanks, Harry. Officially I am an Auror Corps Adjunct. It means I have official duties within the Corps, but I'm not a true auror. It does mean that I have to keep up with the aurors' training requirements."

"Well, with the war on, that shouldn't be a hardship."

"No, not at all. Quite the privilege actually."

"I didn't know you were going to be here."

"They figured on getting double-duty out of me. You can communicate attacks to me even easier with me right here, and they figured if I could teach the Patronus to a 13-year-old, I'd probably be useful with that here as well."

"Oh, good, so I'll be your assistant."

Lupin shrugged. "I'm not sure who they consider to be the assistant here. You've taught the Charm to more people than I have. And of course, you're the Great Harry Potter."

Harry laughed, "Now cut that out. And you'll always be the teacher to me."

"Well, I can teach the techniques, but you'll have to admit you have a knack for bringing out the very best in people's skills. We'll just be partners and work out the details between ourselves."

"Sounds good. I already have a notion they're trying to find other ways to put me to work anyway, so we'll just have to adjust."

"Now there's a healthy attitude. Harry, when I startled you you were trying to call me about something, but it didn't sound like an emergency."

As Remus got dressed, Harry explained to him all about his talk with Ginny and what she had said, and his talk with Ron and Hermione.

"Well," said Remus, "Is Ginny right? Are you still in love with Marietta?"

"I ... I'm not sure. It seems wrong to say you're still 'in love' with someone who's dead. But I think about her most days, and I wonder how things could have turned out differently."

"First you mustn't wallow in regrets. I don't know of anything wrong you did, taunting her into foolish risks or the like, and I'll bet you can't think of anything really either. Sure, you could have avoided falling in love, and then she wouldn't have been so daring at the battle, but falling in love is not a bad thing. Sometimes, things just turn out rotten. I could regret being friends with Peter in school, but I don't. He was decent at the time, perhaps too much of a follower, but that didn't seem to be such a bad thing at the time. Sometimes, when things got tense and egos were flaring, he was the one that could keep the rest of us Marauders together. He could smooth things over very well. Later he did a number of excellent things for the Order before he turned. So should I live with regrets, Harry?"

"No, how could you know how things would turn out? And I see what you're saying about Marietta: war is tragic and tragic things happen and they are usually out of any particular person's control."

"Exactly. So no regrets. And it's okay that you still love her."

"Is it okay to still feel sad over her?"

"Harry, I'd be disappointed in you if you didn't, even if you weren't as close as you two were. But now, getting back to Ginny and her concerns, tell me something: when you think of being with Ginny, do you sometimes, without trying, substitute Marietta in the scene?"

"How did you know?"

"I've been there. I've lost people and tried to move on before I had dealt with most of my feelings, and the same thing happened with me. And those didn't even involve a loss as sudden as a death. You can't blame Ginny for not wanting to be a part of that. When you make a place in your heart for Ginny, she doesn't want to have to share it."

"So what do I do? Do I just give up on Ginny?"

"For the time being, actually, I'd say yes. Deal with the feelings you have for Marietta. I remember after Cedric Diggory died, you were very upset over that for a long time, and you weren't nearly as close to him - on a number of levels."

"No, that's for sure, but it was the first death I had seen and understood."

"So - what helped you deal with it?"

"The best thing was to talk it out with someone else who was even closer than I was and who also needed to talk."

"That's excellent. That's the whole purpose of wakes and other death-related socializing - sharing your memories of and feelings for the deceased. You need that too. However, I can't do that for you. I can't say I got to know Marietta very well the year I was teaching - just a shy fourteen-year-old girl feeling awkward about herself. Is there anyone else who was close to Marietta you can talk to?"

"Cho Chang was her best friend, and she's here too."

"Great, Harry. Why don't you see about talking privately with her about Marietta? That'll help the healing. Also keep talking with Cameron and me."

"Cameron! I almost forgot. He'll be expecting me tomorrow afternoon at Mrs. Figg's!"

"Harry, you don't think we'd forget that, do you? He'll be coming here. He'll help with a few other organizational chores, but mostly he'll be the training camp chaplain and spiritual advisor. With all these people here facing battles with wizards and dementors, he's just the sort of person we'll need. And of course, time for your work with him is being set aside."

"Well, I feel a lot better now that I've got a plan. I'd better get to bed - 5 a.m. comes too quickly."

Remus rolled his eyes. "Right - tell me about it. See you bright and early."