The Parturition of Snape

The next morning, Severus woke later than normal. Getting up at five AM in the morning is a thing of the past, he told himself lazily as he dressed for breakfast. Finding his now bloated-looking stomach seemingly fatter than the night before seemed to comfort him, seeing as he might get a few weird stares from his fellow staff, as well as students, today. Climbing the stairs to the first floor definitely didn't settle his stomach; if possible, it made it rumble more than it would normally when he was hungry.

As he entered the Great Hall, his eyes ventured to Dumbledore; he would have to tell him sooner or later. Severus took his normal seat two down from the Headmaster, and immediately scarfed down everything on his plate, some from the one next to it as well. He was so hungry he could eat an owl! But as he reached for a fifth slice of toast, his stomach rumbled uncontrollably, and his entire bowl of porridge was spit up onto the table in front of him. At the retching sound, almost all the teachers stared at him. He smiled apologetically. But as he made to clean it up, Dumbledore stopped him.

"Everything alright, Severus? You ate quite a lot there."

He noticed a glint of something hiding behind Snape's eyes.

"Is there something you're not telling me, Severus?"

He knew he couldn't hold it from the Headmaster anymore than he could now fit into his old Hogwarts robes. He led him over to the Entrance Hall, where no one would overhear them.

"Sir, I'm pregnant."

Dumbledore looked at him as though this explained a lot.

"Yes. You certainly look the part."

Severus agreed, and opened up his robes enough to see his now protruding belly. He looked at Dumbledore fondly.

"You believe me?"

Dumbledore nodded; "Why would you be lying about something like this?" he ventured.

Thank god for Dumbledore, he found himself thinking.

"But you don't wonder how I got this way?" Snape asked wearily.

To Dumbledore, it was an odd question.

"I had thought it obvious. One of the fertility potions you have been making for Madam Pomfrey has spilled."

"Correct, sir."

They looked at each other.

"May I ask who is the other parent?" Snape considered refusing, then gave in halfheartedly.

"Lily Evans-Potter."

"Ah," said Dumbledore with so much as a twinkle in his eyes. He agreed to let him on leave in two months.

Later that evening, Severus went up to the hospital wing, back pains sharper than before, and more urgent. After lying down and confessing about the pain, Madam Pomfrey gave him a clear concoction, which made them disappear immediately. Then, after retrieving the blood sample from her supply cabinet, she ordered him to drink it.

"What good will this do? Surely the eggs aren't--"

"Oh no, Severus. The eggs are already inside you growing. This blood sample will make the eggs DNA half yours and half Lily's, as if they were conceived the normal way."

He stared at her; the second he had downed the red liquid, somewhere around his midcalf had started to shake uncontrollably; then it stopped.

"All ready, I think. Now Professor, have you told Dumbledore?"

He nodded; it had been hard not to. She sighed, then bustled around him until hooking him up with some odd contraption that looked like a mirror. He asked her what it was, and she explained it would help them see what the babies looked like.

She hooked two fat suckers onto opposite sides of his rounded stomach, and pushed a big blue button. Two images appeared in the "mirror", seemingly floating there. One was a boy, the other a girl.

"Looks to be fraternal," Pomfrey commented.

Severus smiled to himself; those were his babies... and no one was ever going to hurt them.

*

After his visit to the hospital wind earlier, Severus was in awe at his stomach, now coming a complete six inches off his normal size.

And the babies aren't even developed yet! he found himself thinking.

New robes were definitely in order... and maybe a charm or two for his stomach so no one would notice. After all, term had begun, and tomorrow classes would too. He could only hope he would remain unnoticed.