Just This Once

Dear Diary~ 10:00 PM

I awoke that morning, believing that it was another normal, boring day of classes and old friends. Not to say that I don't love my friends, I adore them. I don't know where I'd be without them but... there's something else I need... and there's only one person who can fulfill that need. But he doesn't notice I exist. Now, at the start of seventh year, it's my last chance to be with... him. I love him and sometimes I believe I always have. I don't know how I've lived without him all these years and just managed to notice how much I needed him over this past summer. Sure, I've been in and out of romances but none of them have meant anything... yet. But there's still a chance... Over the summer I've sort of filled out. I've become a glorious, beautiful person... or so I've heard. I know Ron thinks so, but he's been after me for years, so he's no judge. Harry... I can't even think about him anymore. The memory hurts too much. He didn't have to go like that. He saved the world... twice! And now he's gone. And I'll never get to see him again. I didn't even get to say goodbye... That's what hurts the most, that I couldn't say goodbye. There is only one other person in the world who can ever know how much I've lost, ever feel the pain I've felt. And it's not Ron. If it was him it would have been easy. I've had him all along. But it's not that simple. Even though Ron lost Harry too, he doesn't know what I felt. The one person that does is the one person I can't have. I see him walking down the hall, laughing with his friends, but I know better. I know the pain, the look of pain, the way you try to conceal it. I'm off to find him now, diary, and I hope it goes well, for both of our sakes. I think it'll be ok, just this once. Wish me luck!

--Me

Dear Diary~ 2:56 AM

Well, I found him. He was roaming the halls, looking lost. When I saw him I couldn't help myself. He's just too beautiful. He heard me sigh and turned around. His piercing gaze searched me, and then, finding nothing but love, he accepted me. Me! Of all people! The glorious man of my dreams, the one I love, had taken me! I couldn't help myself. I ran to him and threw myself into his open arms. It was like a dream come true, for both of us. He searched my eyes for something, and, finding it, bent to kiss me, softly. It was so soft and tender, diary, and I shivered. I leaned into him and parted my lips to greet his hot tongue with mine. It seemed ok, just this once. Passion soared, there in that deserted hallway. We let our love get the better of us and now, I sit in an abandoned classroom with him. It was my first time and probably his one hundredth but I know I'm special, like no one else was. He wants to add something to you, and I know it's against the rules, but I think it would be ok, just this once.

Before you found me, beautiful, I was lost. I wouldn't have survived past tonight, had she not come along. As she came walking down the hall I was contemplating ways to commit suicide without causing too much of a scene. You have helped me to see that I am loved and wanted, that my love is needed in return. I owe you my life, and more, and if I can ever repay you I will.

P.S. I love you.