Black, White, and Grey

Chapter 7 - Dangerous Choices and Lethal Decisions

Oh, to have the innocence of that summer back! A chance to enjoy myself, without worries or responsibilities. Even if I didn't take that opportunity, I had it. Many times since then, I've wished I did. Ignored the homework for once, and simply gone out and enjoyed myself with my parents, and with my friends, those that I had left.

That innocence ended in August that summer. A dark bloody month full of death and destruction. A month so many of us wish we could erase, or prevent. Even the one who instigated it all has his regrets, though not nearly as many as the rest of us. I can hear Tom grumbling about it behind me. He doesn't want me to record it, even though I must.

After all, I can't let the Ministry's policy of keeping the darkest of events swept und the carpet, and hidden from the public become my policy. I set out to record the most important events of our time, and my journey - as I've heard Sirius call it from time to time - into the darkest circles of society. No matter how painful, no matter how dark the subject.

Or how dark the reasons behind the events. And the reasons behind the events of August of 1997 were dark as the shadows that gathered around Tom and his closest companions. There are many times that I regretted becoming involved in the whole mess, but now, I only regret I didn't tell someone this story sooner. Perhaps, then, the consequences might have been less severe in the end.

~ ~~ ~

"Hermione, you have an owl!"

I looked up from the essay I as working on, smiling at mum a moment. Behind her, at the kitchen window, was perched an irritated barn owl, with a roll of parchment tied to its foot. It was too normal an owl to be from the Weasleys or the Malfoys, Harry wasn't speaking to me, and I'd already received the letter from Hogwarts with the supplies list for next year, and my notice that I was once again a prefect.

"Who else would be writing me?" I muttered as I stood, collecting the letter from the owl, feeding it a piece of bacon from my breakfast before it flew off.

The heavy parchment was sealed in silver wax with a snake pressed into it. I slid a thumbnail under it, unrolling the parchment with a sinking feeling in the pit of my stomach.

"Who's it from, dear?" Mum was looking at the letter curiously.

The only thing on the parchment was an elaborately illuminated 'LV', and I paled. There was only one person I'd knew who'd use those initials, and I hadn't had contact with Voldemort since Christmas. Not that he'd paid attention to my existence then. Why was I receiving a letter from him?

"Hermione?" Mum's concerned voice snapped me out of incipient panic, and I smiled reassuringly.

"Oh, just a friend from school." I carefully rolled the parchment up, and started gathering the materials I'd been using to work on my essay. "An invitation to a party. Nothing serious."

Except that the letter was from Voldemort, and therefore was serious. No matter what the content proved to be - and I was certain it was more than an illuminated monogram.

"Another party?" Mum raised an eyebrow. "When's this one?"

"August," I said quickly. "I don't even know if I'll go or not." I grabbed the last book, and hurried out of the kitchen before mum could ask any more questions. I needed to find out what was written in that letter.

Once in my room, I locked and warded the door, unrolling the parchment once more. Instead of the monogram, now there was a brief note.

Hermione Granger,

You are expected at Black Estate at midnight 31 July. Absence will

not be tolerated, and will result in fatal consequence for yourself

and your family. Come alone, and tell no one of the contents of

this note, nor where you are going or when.

Lord Voldemort

My hands were trembling when I finished reading the note, and I set it down on my desk. Bloody bastard! I was supposed to be at 12 Grimmauld Place that day for Harry's birthday. A surprise birthday party that I'd have to find an excuse to miss.

And what was I going to tell them? I couldn't say that Ri had insisted I visit, nor Meri, with how close those two were. It would let people know where I would be. And my parents had been glad to see I hadn't been cut off entirely from my friends when Ginny came to the house to recruit me to help. So no sudden vacation plans with them.

Anything else I could think of would probably be regulated to the 'not important enough to miss the party' category. And I wanted to go to Harry's party. Show him, that for all that the mess that had been going on the past year, he was still my friend, and I didn't want to shut him out completely. At least he hadn't been making nasty remarks about me behind my back, like Ron had on several occasions. Loudly and obnoxiously.

"Three days," I muttered to myself, "to find an excuse not to be at 12 Grimmauld Place when Harry's supposed to be arriving. To not be celebrating the birthday of someone who was once my best friend."

I shook my head as I made my way down the stairs, sitting on the couch in the parlor. Crookshanks was on the end, and I reached out to pick him up, and yelped when he scratched my hand, hissing at me.

"What was that for?" I glared at Crookshanks as I pulled my handkerchief out, using it to stop the bleeding. He'd never reacted like that to anyone but Malfoy and his cronies before. And Pettigrew.

I scowled, clenching my jaw as I stood up. So my cat thought I was untrustworthy? Bloody hell, who was I supposed to talk to, if I couldn't talk to my cat? If I told anyone else, it could get back to the Ministry, or Dumbledore, or Voldemort. Probably get back to Voldemort anyway, if it got to the Ministry. And then I'd loose mum and dad. Not a prospect I liked.

"Thank you ever so much for the vote of confidence, Crookshanks," I hissed, before stalking towards the door. Perhaps a walk would clear my thoughts. "I'm going to go for a walk, mum! I'll be back for dinner!"

Picking streets at random, I made my way into London, letting my thoughts wander. I had to find something to do about the invitation - more veiled threat - from Voldemort, and Harry's party. If I ignored the threat, and went to the party, I ran the high risk of loosing my parents, and eventually, my life. If I went to the Black Estate, as the letter demanded, I'd loose any chance at making Harry see that no matter what secrets I had, I still considered him a friend. Maybe not a best friend anymore, but a friend.

I looked up at the street signs as I turned onto a quiet street, and paused, tilting my head. I'd memorized maps of London, and I never recalled seeing 'Ynvisib Alley' on any of them. "So, what are you?" I said quietly, looking down the street.

Cottages were set back from the road in overgrown gardens, with low dry-stone walls between them, and graveled paths leading to the front doors. On the right side of the street, a few houses down, was a park, complete with a playground and happily shrieking children.

I sat down on a bench, pretending I didn't notice the odd looks I was getting from the witches watching their children. I know Muggle clothing would make me stand out, but at the moment, I just wanted to look at this scene of carefree children, and happy parents.

"Hermione?"

So much for illusions of normalcy.

I turned my head to look up at Remus, giving him a brittle smile. I wish I had seen him earlier, so I could have gone elsewhere to think.. "Hello, Remus."

He sat down on the bench beside me, his eyes straying to the children with a wistful expression. "What brings you here, to this hidden corner of the world?"

I followed his gaze, to the children who played on swings and slides and jungle-gyms like Muggle children would. "Just walking, and thinking. I didn't know this place existed. No one talks about it."

"Most people don't know it's here, if they don't live here." I saw him shrug out of the corner of my eye. "But that's not what's really on your mind, is it?"

I gave him a sharp look. "Why do you say that?"

"Because you smell angry and frightened and confused. Not exactly the emotions one expects from someone finding this street." He paused, raising an eyebrow in question. "Anything you want to talk about?"

I sighed. "I wish I could."

Though why couldn't I? He knew I had met Voldemort, and he wouldn't tell anyone that. He knew Meri was a Death Eater, but he'd never told anyone. Not in however long he'd known, and I suspected that was an open secret in his family. He could even betray Ri, and be hailed as a hero, but he didn't.

"Perhaps somewhere else?" He smiled slightly, standing and offering me a hand up. "Where you aren't going to be overheard by those who shouldn't know?"

I accepted the hand up, and nodded. "That would be a good idea." I walked beside him down the street. "Do you live here?"

"In the house I was born in." Remus indicated a cottage that looked a little more run down than the rest, the garden a bit more overgrown. "My neighbors aren't fond of living next door to a werewolf, but they would rather a werewolf than someone new."

I followed Remus down the path, and into a small room with faded tapestries and wooden floors worn smooth by years of traffic. I could see several portraits along a hallway that led further into the cottage, probably relatives of his.

"Have a seat. Would you like something to drink?" Remus waved me towards an overstuffed chair that faced a cold hearth.

I shook my head. "No, thank you." I perched on the edge, letting my eyes adjust to the lower light levels inside. "Do you have wards up on this place?"

Remus nodded, as he sat in the chair opposite mine. "To prevent the neighbors complaining about noise on the full moon. As well as to keep curious teens out who don't think about who they're disturbing."

I smiled, looking down at my lap. "Either that, or like Ron and Harry and me, don't think about what they're getting into."

Remus reached out a hand to touch mine. "What has you upset, Hermione?" I looked up to see his concerned expression. "I'm not going to tell anyone anything you tell me." A wry smile crossed his face. "If you want, you could relate it to the seal of the confessional."

I gave him a curious look. "Why do you say that?"

He leaned back again, shrugging. "I had time on my hands after I left Hogwarts. No one wanted to hire a werewolf, especially with Voldemort's reign of terror. I took some classes at a Muggle seminary. They didn't say anything about my condition, even though I told the priest in charge. And they never gave me any penance. I think they saw my condition as penance enough for just about anything I could do."

"I never knew you had an interest in religion." I shook my head. "But I never asked."

"No one does. Not a lot of people in the wizarding world care about Muggle religion. It's a concept they don't understand, the need for a faith in a higher power. After all, they've always had magic, and their faith that it makes them better than Muggles." Remus chuckled. "But we're getting off the subject."

"I know." I paused, looking at my hands again a moment. "I received a letter today. An invitation that was a threat to my parents and me if I didn't show up where it told me to and when it told me to."

"At the Black Estate, on Harry's birthday." Remus gave me a sympathetic look. "Aunt Meri has been ebullient about that for the last week. She's excited about something, though she won't tell me what. Says I'll probably ruin the surprise."

"You probably would." I shrugged. "It doesn't matter what I decide to do, I'm going to loose someone. Either I loose my parents, or I loose Harry completely."

Remus gave me a sharp look. "I wouldn't dismiss Harry completely, Hermione. He's more likely to forgive things than Ron." He paused. "Are you sure you don't want something to drink?"

I shrugged. "I wouldn't know what to ask for, and I'm sure it will go straight to my head. I probably shouldn't have anything to drink, anyway. I'm probably going to have to Apparate home, so I'm not late for dinner."

Remus nodded. "A good idea, than, not to have a drink." He paused, a slight frown on his face. "Did the letter mention what to be wearing upon arrival?"

I shook my head, puzzled. "No. Why would it?"

"If they were expecting you to provide your own outfit, they probably would have mentioned what to wear in the note. The fact they didn't may be a relatively good sign."

"A good sign?" I stared at him. "How would that be a good sign?" Actually, if it might involve dealing with Meri or Narcissa 'helping' me pick an outfit, I'd consider it a bad sign.

"They'll have an appropriate outfit waiting for you." Remus's expression said everything about what he thought of the Death Eaters idea of 'an appropriate outfit'. "It might be a good idea to go early, so you can change. I know Madame Black doesn't like to be kept waiting, and I doubt any of the rest of Aunt Meri's associates are any better at waiting."

"I don't even want to go." I scowled mutinously. Even more, I didn't want to go early. Not for this. But what other choice had they left me?

Remus gave me a sympathetic look. "I know, Hermione."

I sighed, resigning myself to dealing with whatever awaited me at Black Estate. "I can't let my parents suffer because I was in the wrong place at the wrong time last October." I settled further into the seat, the scowl still firmly in place. "Damn him. I wanted to go to Harry's party. It was a chance to show him I still cared. Even if he won't talk to me."

"If you would like, I can give him your regrets," Remus offered, though he didn't look as if he actually expected an affirmative response.

I shook my head. "No. If I can't apologize in person, I'd rather he not hear it from someone else. I'll send him a letter, or a note, but I won't make him hear it from someone else altogether."

And I knew what I write him, the injunction not to tell him be damned. That I'd been blackmailed into going somewhere else, or have my parents killed. That I couldn't say where without risking my parents lives. I could only hope he'd understand, and maybe forgive me. Or at the very least, quit acting like I was contaminated.

Remus smiled slightly. "I hope you have the chance to tell him what you've told me." He held up a hand to stall my protest. "I know, it's not likely to be anytime soon. But someday, you might have the opportunity." He leaned forward, holding my gaze. "And if you have it, use it. So that nothing is forgotten, even after this whole complicated tangle has been resolved, one way or another."

I nodded, intrigued by his intensity. I wondered if he'd been writing down everything people told him, making a record of what he knew of this mess. "If I have the chance, I will tell him. I promise."

Better yet, if I had the chance, I'd write down everything I could remember. It shouldn't just be Harry who knows this. The more people who know, the less likely it will be forgotten, and what better way to spread the story but to write it down? And this shouldn't be forgotten. There are so many lessons that could be learned from the lives of those who are involved in this. In their choices.

"Thank you, Remus." I stood, a smile on my face. Now, whatever happened, if I wrote this down, I could know someone would read it, could know someone would remember all of this. For all the cold comfort that would provide when everything was bleak. "I really ought to be getting home. Mum said dinner would be early, and I don't know how long I've been out."

Remus had stood as I did, and walked with me to the door. "And you'll want to spend the time with your parents." He placed a comforting hand on my shoulder. "Good luck, Hermione."

~ ~~ ~

I gave the heavy doors that guarded the entrance to Black Estate a perfunctory glare as I lifted the heavy knocker. I hadn't let my parents know I was leaving before I'd Apparated, arriving at the end of the long drive of the house. They'd likely assume I'd gone to 12 Grimmauld Place to help get things ready for the party there.

I had, of course, tried to Apparate to the front door, but it appeared that it had anti-Apparition wards up all around the grounds, which wasn't common for a private residence. And then the walk up the three kilometer drive. No wonder Ri had a car! It wouldn't be worth it to Apparate to and from her estate.

The doors opened, and Ri smiled, though the expression brought little that suggested warmth to her expression. "You're early, Miss Granger. Excellent." She beckoned me to follow her up the broad marble stairs that split to lead to galleries paneled in dark wood, and carpeted with intricately patterned runners.

"I don't expect you will have appropriate attire for tonight. No one does, at their first meeting with the full Circle." She led me down the right hand gallery, to an age-darkened door at the end.

Inside the small room were several dummies holding robes in various stages of completion, as well as accessories for the outfits. She pointed her wand at one, bringing it forwards, the bone-white mask creepy in the flickering candle-light of the room.

"All of it is required, Miss Granger. When you have dressed, you are expected in the sitting room downstairs. I expect you remember where it is." She gave me a stern look. "And remember, no matter what the temptation to chatter, this is not a social event tonight. Those gathered in the sitting room are unlikely to appreciate any conversation prior to the meeting."

I nodded, resisting the urge to shiver. "Of course." Dealing with Ri on her own was like dealing with an avalanche. Impossible to avoid, and a chilling experience I wouldn't care to repeat.

She nodded with satisfaction, and closed the door behind her, leaving me with the dummies, and a new set of robes.

I shed my outer robes before examining the ones I was expected to wear. Plain, unrelieved black, except for the mask. A tunic-like under-robe and trousers that felt like cotton, thin silk gloves, and a hooded wool over-robe. No shoes, but the over-robe would go to the floor, and hide any shoes I might be wearing, so I expected they didn't care what your shoes were like, so long as they functioned.

It didn't take long to dress, and I carefully braided my hair before tucking it into the hood. The hallway outside was as dimly lit as the room, and I almost felt like creeping down it, shivering slightly from a chill that had nothing to do with the temperature of the house.

Downstairs it didn't take me long to find the sitting room, which held a handful of people, most of whom were in Death Eaters robes like I was. Impossible to recognize, unless the person spoke, or had some distinct physical feature. Like Pettigrew's silver hand.

The only person not in the robes was Sirius, sitting next to the fireplace with a scowl on his face. He was given a wide berth by the others, who appeared to have grouped themselves. Though why, when there were only seven of them, I hadn't a clue.

I settled into the chair next to Sirius, ignoring his angry glare, for the most part.

"I don't socialize with Death Eaters, so why don't you take a clue from your compatriots and leave me alone?" he snarled, returning his glare to the empty hearth when he saw it had no effect on me.

"Maybe because I'm only here because I was blackmailed," I said very quietly, not wanting to be overheard. "And I'm not a Death Eater."

"Could have fooled me." Sirius didn't bother to keep his voice down, and I winced as others turned to look, and to glare.

"You've been living with your aunt for over a year, Sirius. You know how pointless it can be to argue with her." Dangerous, too, which I expected he knew from personal experience.

He turned to look at me, his eyes cold. "You could have gone to Dumbledore, and asked him for help. You could have fought for what's right, instead of caving in to her demands. You're no better than that rat, a traitor to your friends..."

"Shut up!" I snarled, rising to my feet with my wand in hand. "Don't you lecture me on what you think I am, Sirius Black! You can't understand why I have done what I've done, and you don't even really know what I have done, and what I have not. Dumbledore couldn't have helped me when this all began, and he can't help me now. And as for fighting for what is right?" My eyes bored into his. "Don't tell me you're fighting for what's right. Don't ever tell me the world is divided so neatly. It's not. There's no right or wrong. There's only your values, and how well you hold to them. Only a million shades of grey."

Life might have been easier if I had learned that lesson before last October. Life would be better, and easier indeed if Sirius looked as if he didn't believe what he was hearing from me in the least.

"Shades of grey?" He was on his feet as well, looming over me. "You think this is just a shade of grey?" He gestured with one hand to the room, and the house beyond. "This is a gathering of the darkest..."

"Silencio!" The spell hit both Sirius and me, halting the argument before it could escalate further.

Ri stood in the doorway, her expression dangerously calm. "This is not a barnyard gathering where you can fight like undisciplined children, nephew of mine. And though I might expect such behavior from you, Sirius, that does not mean I excuse it." She slowly walked towards us, the others in the room pressing back against the walls to stay as far from her as possible. "On the other hand, I had much higher expectations of you, girl. Perhaps it was too much to expect of a Mudblood."

I clenched my jaw, my eyes meeting hers as I mentally spoke the incantation to break the spell. Oh, how I hated that word. Mudblood. All the hate and injustice and intolerance behind it that stretched back for centuries.

"Perhaps it was too much for me to think you were any better than every blind, stubborn idiot who accepts what someone else tells them as truth without question." My voice was low, and as controlled as Morigyn's. Not even she was going to make me look like a child. Not while I still was working under my own will.

She raised an eyebrow, a flicker of amusement in her eyes, as if this was all just a game. "Believe as you will, but don't have the arrogance to believe you are the first of impure blood to be given a chance to prove yourself, and fail."

I bristled, trying to keep firm control of my temper. I had never failed anything in my life. And although I could hear my conscious screaming that this would be something to fail, I wasn't going to back down from a blatant challenge like that. "I. Will. Not. Fail."

"We shall see." Morigyn smiled coldly at me before turning to Sirius, and directing him from the room. Where she took him, I never had a chance to find out, as Meri bustled in moments later, and directly over to me.

"Oh good, you're here. And Ri had the robes ready." She gave me a critical once-over. "Very good indeed. Have you eaten dinner yet?"

I shook my head. I had been too nervous to eat, and had a suspicion that anything I ate ran the risk of being seen again. Especially if their plans for the night involved anything that would make newspaper headlines.

Meri clucked disapprovingly, grabbing my elbow to guide me out of the room. "You need to eat before the meeting, Miss Granger. Even if it all comes back up later."

I halted, forcing her to stop. "Why would it all com back up?" I wasn't looking forward to seeing anything I ate twice, even if I knew that was a risk. And I'd have liked a warning about what I was going to be seeing here. Nothing pleasant, I was sure.

She gave me a sympathetic smile. "It's an initiation rite. There are bound to be some rather gruesome sights there. Tom thinks it is rather a good test of new recruits' resolve, and gives the established members a bit of a spectacle to watch. Oh, I know Min will not be there, nor will 'Cissa or Tasia, not until the meeting of the Inner Circle later. But no one in the full Circle would really wish for their choice not to attend. They, after all, don't have the sensitivities and loyalties that those ladies do."

Meri's comments didn't reassure me at all and my stomach started a slow churn that promised it would cause worse problems later. "I'm not hungry," I whispered, knowing my face behind the mask was very pale, and possibly even slightly green.

"Nonsense. You need to eat. Dry heaves are not something you care to experience, Miss Granger, I can tell you that." Meri gave me a steady look. "And it would necessitate you leaving the meeting, which would be very bad for you. Potentially lethal, which is certainly not the objective of the night."

"Than what would the objective be?" I demanded. "I'm sick of these games, Meri. Everyone thinks I am some sort of project for you, but no will tell me why. And what is s interesting about me that Mrs. Malfoy would invite me for Christmas holiday, and Voldemort apparently has taken a personal interest in me?"

Meri frowned, giving me a concerned look. "Why wouldn't they, my dear? You are the most intelligent and clever witch of your generation. Resourceful and quick to learn, if all that I have heard about you in school is true. Loyal to your friends, courageous and with a ferocity comparable to my Aunt Augustine. Rare enough to find these days, and very desirable. Poise under fire, graceful and gracious, as well. You are what every pure-blood mother wants her daughter to be, and what they want their son to marry."

"If I weren't a Muggle-born, you mean."

"Oh no!" Meri gave me a horrified look. "You must not think that, because it does not matter. You are above that. You are going to be the most sought after woman of your generation after tonight. They will know you are worthy, no matter your parentage."

"But if that is the case, why would it take this for them to see it?" I crossed my arms over my chest. "I shouldn't need somebody else's approval to be 'sought after'."

Meri smiled. "Oh, my dear, you are so very much like Min was in school. But so much more than she was. And it really doesn't matter if they seek after you, I is who you chose who will have the greatest honor. You can spurn them all, if you'd like, if they didn't notice you before this. But, my dear, do try to see this in the way we do. Launching the finest young woman of her age into the prominence she deserves. That's what we want for you. You have so much potential, and you deserve the chance to develop it." Meri smiled sadly. "How much of a chance were those friends of yours giving you to be what you desired to be? Just think on it, Hermione, while you eat."

~ ~~ ~

Meri left me in the kitchen after a few brief instructions on what not to do while in the meeting, with strict instructions to the cook to make sure I ate. Mary was almost a mothering as Meri, and she chattered more than even Sephone had that first time I met Voldemort. It made the few hours I spent in the kitchen bearable.

Shortly before midnight, Meri came back into the kitchen, a mask dangling from the fingertips of one hand. "Come along, Miss Granger. The Circle is gathering in the ballroom, and you must be there when the initiates are brought in." She was studying me critically again, and gave a brief nod of satisfaction as I slipped the mask back on. "There you go. Quite good, my dear. Now come along."

She led me through the corridors to a small room, which held a dozen people, including us, not all of whom were wearing their masks. I easily spotted Lucius Malfoy, and suppressed the urge to shake my head. That would be Draco standing beside his father, with a pale mask hiding his face, and Lucius's hand on his shoulder.

It wasn't long, fortunately, before a pair of double doors opened, and a masked figure nodded to Meri. She prodded me forward, past Draco, and into a ballroom full of Death Eaters. Except for a group of terrified people at one end who appeared to be mostly Muggles, with a handful of wizards and witches.

My eyes widened as I recognized some of them, and Meri's hand closed firmly over my arm. How had they gotten Mrs. Weasley, of all people? She almost never left 12 Grimmauld Place these days, and never alone. My stomach made an uneasy flip as I thought about what that could mean. How many of the Weasleys were already dead, for them to have Mrs. Weasley?

"Hold your tongue, girl." Morigyn's hand came down on my shoulder, the woman on the opposite side from Meri. "You can do nothing but earn them a slower and more painful death."

I clenched my jaw, my eyes remaining fixed on Mrs. Weasley. Someone was bound to notice my absence and her disappearance coincided, and that I returned, and she did not. There was no doubt in my mind now about that scenario being the most likely. And what consequences would follow that? Azkaban, if I was unlucky, certainly. I wouldn't have the chance to finish my seventh year, or take my NEWTS, certainly. No, no, no. This was not fair. And I wanted someone to answer for that.

Except for the terrified whimpers from the people at the end of the room, and my own thoughts loud in my head, I didn't hear anything. There was a sense of anticipation hanging in he air, with Voldemort not having arrived, and the Inner Circle probably scattered among the rest, hidden by their masks.

A sharp crack drew screams from the Muggles, as Voldemort Apparated into the center of the room. No doubt from somewhere else in the house, though why he had to indulge in such drama, I didn't understand. Every bloody Death Eater attack screamed of the same sense of overblown drama, like some American movie.

Voldemort scanned the crown, appearing to meet everyone's eyes, and I could sense the rising excitement among the Death Eaters. Like a huge party. Which it was, I suppose.

"Tonight, my loyal servants, you will welcome new members into you ranks!" At least he gets straight to the point. Though I would rather not be joining this group. I had my whole life ahead of me, and no intention of spending it in Azkaban, thank you very much.

Four people were prodded forward into the center by the Death Eaters escorting them, and I thought Meri or Ri would do the same for me. Why they didn't, I hadn't a clue, though I wasn't the only one who wasn't being initiated tonight that wasn't already a Death Eater. There had, after all, been six of us in the sitting room, and only four were up there. Who else wasn't up there?

Voldemort was surveying the four recruits, his red eyes gleaming. "You will each be expected to complete your initiation, or your bodies will join the rest." He paused, pinning each of them beneath his stare a moment. "I should hope you are capable of doing that," he added, in a cruel tone.

The death threat would certainly be incentive not to fail, and I was rather glad I wasn't up there with them after all. But what did he intend as the initiation?

A Death Eater grabbed one of the Muggles, hauling her towards the recruits. That answered my question, to some extent. But did they plan to torture them, or just, mercifully, kill them?

Behind my mask, I closed my eyes, wishing I could do the same for my ears. Why did they want me to witness this... spectacle of pointless violence?

Ri's fingers dug into my shoulder, and she whispered harshly into my ear, "Watch. Remember. And one day, understand."

Understand what? That the Death Eaters viewed Muggles as less than human? Things to play with and then discard like a child's broken toy?

I opened my eyes when the pain from Morigyn's - I could no longer think of her as Ri - grip became unbearable, and bit back the urge to retch. The Muggle woman was writhing on the floor under the wand of a Death Eater - not one of the recruits, thankfully - her voice gone horse from screaming.

The rest of the initiation passed in a blur of sound and images that I refused to process, while I fought to keep my dinner in my stomach, as light as it had been. I almost didn't notice when silence descended again, except for the fact that people were moving. The bodies were removed, and the wizarding folk brought forward to be forced to their knees before Voldemort.

There was Mrs. Weasley, her hair mussed, and a defiant expression on her face. A woman who looked like she was related to Narcissa and Bellatrix - she had to be Andromeda, the third sister. A teenage boy I recognized as a Ravenclaw third-year named Stuart Ackerly, and a man who tried to stay close to him was probably his father or an older brother. And the last one looked like he was related to Neville.

Morigyn let go of my shoulder then, moving towards the captives like a cat stalking prey. She wasn't the only one who came forward, and I was sure that at least one of them was Bellatrix. The one who backhanded Andromeda, to be precise, and was hissing obscenities at her.

I ignored them for the most part, unable to tear my attention away from Mrs. Weasley as Morigyn circled her, my focus narrowing to the two women.

"I've waited for this for many years, Molly." Morigyn's voice was almost pleasant, if you could ignore the edge of menace to it. "You never should have married any of my relatives, distant as they are, if you expected to live. Not with those brothers of yours. Gideon and Fabian, if I remember correctly." She paused. "I must say, you have proven more difficult to catch up with than they were. Most impressive, for a Gryffindor of your sort."

"And you're not." Mrs. Weasley kept her chin up, her eyes holding Morigyn's steadily. Even though she had to know she wouldn't survive the night. "Not even for a Death Eater."

Morigyn chuckled. "I don't try to be, my dear Molly." She paused before whispering a curse I didn't recognize with evident delight.

I didn't even recognize the language the curse was in , but I flinched as Mrs. Weasley began to convulse a few moments later, her skin appearing to move of its own accord. As if on the backs of millions of worms.

My stomach was churning, and I was positive I was green behind my mask when Mrs. Weasley finally began to scream. I closed my eyes firmly at that point, clenching my hands into fists as I struggled against the urge to bolt. That, I was sure, would merely result in them finding my body alongside Mrs. Weasley's and the rest. And I had no desire to die now, anymore than I liked the idea of spending the rest of my life in Azkaban, if someone in the wrong position found out I had been here.