Black, White, and Grey

Chapter 6 - That Which Does Not Kill Me

I've since come to the conclusion that Fate hates everyone equally. It's that universal dislike that makes everyone feel they're included in something. And if Fate didn't hate everyone equally, Ginny and Sirius wouldn't be here with Tom, Min, and my small family. We're somewhere in Kent now, heading for Dover. It's only a short crossing to Calais, and hopefully Tom can make it that far. To that chance at freedom.

Draco's standing behind me, his hand on the back of my neck. I wish we had the privacy to indulge in such games, but with only one room for everyone, it's impossible. I'll not have an audience, as much as I love him.

Of course, as he reminds me, there was a time when I wasn't sure I wanted privacy, though I had it. That day so close to finals of our sixth year. I've always thought he waited until then on purpose. To throw me off, and get the best grades. Not that he succeeded in beating me out for the top of the class. I wasn't that far off my game.

~ ~~ ~

I was watching the morning owls for my paper, and perhaps a letter back from my parents, when a regal, and far too familiar owl came swooping in to land next to my plate. I made a mental note to harm a Malfoy. Which one remained to be seen, as the owl waited patiently for me to remove the note tied to its leg.

I fed it a piece of my bacon before looking at the note, and I pressed my lips together when I saw Draco's careless writing across the front. I broke the seal, and scanned the words, feeling the blood draining from my face.

Granger,

Meet me tonight at midnight on the Quidditch pitch. You can come

alone, or bring someone with you. Just be sure you can trust them

with your most precious secrets. You wouldn't want someone using

them against you, after all.

Draco Malfoy

Pushing away from the table, I scooped up a couple slices of toast before heading for the greenhouse. I still had most of twenty minutes before my Herbology class started, but I had no intention of staying in the Great Hall. Ginny would want to know what was wrong, and Harry and Ron would glare when they actually came down for breakfast.

I set up my books and gear next to the seat Susan normally occupied, mentally dragging up who else sat at that table. Padma and another Ravenclaw, a boy. Terry Boot, that was it. None of the Gryffindors who hated me for speaking with Malfoy, and no Slytherins to sneer at me for being Muggle-born.

I saw the surprise on Susan's face as she walked in, but she said nothing, merely settling into her seat beside me. Padma and Terry weren't far behind, and the rest of the class trickled in behind them. All three of the troublesome boys in my life looked puzzled when they saw I wasn't in my usual seat. Even though Harry and Ron pretty much despised me, I'd always sat with them and Neville.

My jaw clenched, and I lifted my chin, giving them my haughtiest glare. It made Draco, the little prat, smirk, but the bewildered look on Harry's face, and the shock on Ron's were well worth it. It was time I stopped letting them make me feel miserable because they don't like the idea that I don't think of Draco as evil incarnate.

~ ~~ ~

Ginny cornered me in my dorm while Lavender and Pavarti were down in the common room that evening, standing in the doorway with her arms crossed over her chest.

"What was in that note this morning that has you finally acting like you're not a pariah, Hermione? You've certainly got Harry and Ron's attention. Though they're trying to figure out what you did to, or with, Malfoy."

I rolled my eyes. "Nothing, Ginny." I wasn't even going to look up from my revisions for this conversation. She didn't need to know what was going on.

There was an exasperated sigh from the doorway, and I looked up as my papers flew out of my lap, to be caught neatly by Ginny. Not that she would find anything incriminating among them. I had burned the note at my first opportunity, knowing her penchant for discovering things I'd like her not to know.

"Now, will you look at me, Hermione?" Ginny had an annoyed look on her face. "What happened this morning? You're actually snubbing Harry and Ron, instead of the other way around, and you've had everyone speculating about what's gotten into you all bloody day."

"Really?" I raised an eyebrow. "Why should that concern me, Ginny? I'm beyond caring what others think about me. Harry and Ron..." I trailed off a moment. It still hurt to think about them, and their rejection of me just because I have secrets I can't share with them.

I shook my head, forcing the hurt back down. "Harry and Ron can go sod off, or accept that I am not going to let them push me around because I do not fit their perception of what I should be. I am tired of trying to make them understand that there are things I cannot share with them, and would not, even if I were permitted. And as for your prodding at my personal life, leave me be, Ginevra Weasley! The contents of that note were for me, and no one else. Do I make myself clear?"

Ginny was blinking at me, her mouth slightly open in shock. "Perfectly." She licked her lips, taking a cautious step towards me, holding out my papers. "You know, if you ever do want to talk, I'll listen. And I'll try not to pry. Or if you need help, you only need to ask."

"I know, Ginny." I kept my tone cool, not willing to show how much I wanted someone to talk to who wasn't in this whole convoluted mess. But if I did that, I would drag her into it, and I still was afraid that what I told her would get back to Ron, or worse, to her parents, or Dumbledore. I could not have that happen. They wouldn't understand the truth, or they'd already be aware of it. I think.

"Then I'll just leave you to your revisions." Ginny set my papers down on the edge of my bed, and walked out, though I could see the tension in her shoulders. She was probably going to wait for me in the common room, and if I wouldn't take her with me when I left, she'd probably follow me.

I sighed. I didn't want to take Ginny along tonight. Especially not if Draco thought he had won the bet. Or at least found some secrets I didn't want shared with the world at large. Or even anyone who wasn't originally involved. Damn them both!

Grinding my teeth, I checked the time. Still another four hours before I was supposed to meet Draco on the Quidditch pitch. Under the stands. The professor's stand. Something vaguely like neutral ground.

I picked up my quill again, and went back to work on my revisions. At least I could keep busy until then.

~ ~~ ~

I crept down the stairs around eleven-thirty, my eyes darting around the room. It was almost deserted. Except for Ginny and my dorm-mates. They were watching the stairs, and I sighed.

"Waiting up for me?"

Ginny shrugged. "My sources in Slytherin were commenting that Malfoy is awfully nervous tonight. Almost excited. You wouldn't have an idea why, would you, Hermione?"

"And if I did, do you honesty think I would tell you?" I crossed my arms over my chest, knowing this was taking precious time I needed to get the pitch, unseen by anyone else.

"Perhaps." Ginny paused, concern flashing across her face. "We're worried about you, Hermione..."

"Well, don't be!" I snapped. "I can bloody take care of myself, Ginny. I don't need you looking over my shoulder, or trying to protect me from myself, or from Malfoy."

Ginny sighed. "We'll walk with you as far as you want, and then we'll wait for you. Keep an eye out for Filch. Would that be acceptable?"

I ground my teeth. I didn't need to deal with this. "No. You can stay right here. I don't care if you wait up for me, but I still won't tell you anything. I don't need to."

Ginny stood. "That's not going to happen, Hermione. One of us, at least, is going with you, wherever it is you're going. Otherwise, you're not leaving Gryffindor tower."

My hands were balled into fists by the time she finished saying that, and I could feel the heat rising to my face. "You interfering little brat. Fine. You want to come with me, you come. And only you. The goons can stay here."

I stalked towards the portrait hole, mostly ignoring the gasps of outrage from Lavender and Pavarti. Bloody Ginny. Bloody Draco. Bedamned bet. And curse whatever made me curious about the open door in McGonagall's office back in September. If I hadn't overheard that conversation, I wouldn't be here now.

But I had overheard the conversation, I had made the bet, and Ginny and Draco were both striving for the title 'Bane of My Existence'. I couldn't change that. On the other hand, I'll be damned if I let them, or anyone else, drive me to tears again. Or for that matter, push me around. Not without a bloody good reason.

Which brought my thoughts back to the reason I was sneaking out of Gryffindor tower at nearly midnight, and heading for the Quidditch pitch. A place I avoided when there wasn't a game.

The night was warm as we managed to slip out, but I still pulled up the hood of the cloak I'd grabbed before I'd left. I wasn't going to have anyone look out the window, and see me. They might see Ginny, but I didn't care. Let her get into trouble for sneaking out after dark.

"Keep quiet, and don't do anything unless I tell you to," I whispered. "Now, follow me."

I led the way to where Draco was supposed to meet me. He was waiting, as usual, his arms crossed casually over his chest, leaning against one of the supports. His lips curled upward in a smirk when he spotted Ginny and me.

"You were almost late, Granger." He uncrossed his arms, pushing away from the support. "The Weaselette try to keep you from leaving?"

Ginny hissed angrily behind me, and I clenched my jaw.

"She has a name, Draco. You will not insult her in front of me."

"I'll do what I please, Mudblood." His eyes were cold. "Unless, of course, you wish to see your friends hurt. Or perhaps those Muggle parents of yours? I have the connections, and you know it. They could be dead before you wake up in the morning. And you could do nothing to stop me."

The blood drained from my face, leaving me as pale as Malfoy for a long moment before anger surged through me, heating my face until I was sure it was glowing in the dim light. "You sodding bastard. You leave my parents and friends out of this. It is between you and me."

Draco chuckled. "Of course it is, Granger. But you'd do anything to keep them safe, wouldn't you? To keep them alive. And it isn't enough for you for them to be alive and safe. You have to keep their love. You're lost without that."

I shook my head. "And you think this is supposed to make me do what you want me to?"

"I'm not blind, Granger. You've been miserable since you had your little falling out with Potter and Weasley." He paused. "Though you've been remarkably more yourself today. Except for the snubbing Potter and Weasley. It was rather amusing."

I was shaking. With rage or something else, I wasn't sure. Damn him. He was right, though I hated to admit it. I would do anything to keep my friends and family safe. And I'd hide it from them the best I could, if it would lose me their affection. Except that it was a bit late for that with Harry and Ron. Somehow I doubted I'd ever be able to call them my friends again.

"Well, Granger? Nothing to say?"

Narrowing my eyes, I glared at him for a long moment before decking him. The surprise on his face just before my fist connected with his jaw was priceless. "You'll get my free time next year, you useless prat, but this isn't the end of this. You haven't won yet."

I turned to go, grabbing Ginny's elbow. "We're leaving, Ginny." And I'm bloody not going to let that prat win. Just because he won a bet doesn't mean I'll give him the satisfaction of seeing it upset me. No. Not this time.

I snarled the password at the portrait, and stalked into the common room, where Lavender and Pavarti were waiting up. I hadn't thought they'd go to bed before we got back, and it looked like they'd prepared for it to be quite a while. Not just the bare half-hour it had been. Other than noting the fact they were there, though, I ignored them, going up to my dorm to get some sleep. Exams started soon, and I was going to be ready for them.

~ ~~ ~

After the last of the exams, a little over a week later, I collapsed into my bed with a groan. I hadn't done as well as I had hoped, despite my determination to not let Malfoy get to me. If Harry or Ron had been on speaking terms with me, they would have told me I did fine, that I did better on a bad day than Malfoy could do on a good day. Which was probably true, from their perspective.

But Malfoy was more intelligent than they ever had given him credit for. To be honest, more than I had ever given him credit for, most of the time. And he was bloody perceptive. I groaned again. Mrs. Malfoy. She warned me he was perceptive. Why hadn't I listened to her? And found someway to call the wager off? I'm sure there could have been a way to do so.

Too late for that now. I levered myself up a moment, looking at my belongings. I should pack them. But right at the moment, I didn't care to. I flopped back on the bed. Right at the moment, I just wanted to find a way to mitigate the terms of the wager. There had to be some way. Other than talking to Narcissa, and having her try to make Draco listen. I doubted it would work, for one.

So, talking to his mother was out. Nor did I want to talk to one of the other adults I knew could intervene. Either he wouldn't listen to them, or I would be digging myself into debt up to my eyeballs. Slytherins are good for that. Or Death Eaters, for that matter, I'm sure. Even if not all of them were Slytherins.

I could talk to Ginny, and see what she could do. She had a fairly extensive network of people she used to keep tabs on what was going on in the castle. Possibly outside of it, as well. She could use those contacts to influence things as well, I suspect. But I don't want to ask her for help. I don't want to get her any more involved than she already is. It's dangerous.

For one, if she got any deeper into this, she could discover what happened in October, when I went to meet with Voldemort. And she didn't have the binding oath that I did. She could tell anyone. Turn me over to the Ministry, and then, they might find a way to extract what I knew about the Inner Circle from me. I can't let that happen. I can't.

Which means dealing with this on my own. I sighed, and pushed myself off my bed again. I needed to pack, and I really shouldn't leave it until later. Besides, I'll have all summer to myself, to find a way to ensure that Malfoy didn't get all of my free time. I needed time to study and do homework. That wasn't free time...

I closed my eyes, and contemplated smacking my head on the corner post of my bed. The solution was simple. I told him I needed more time for study and homework than I actually did, and I could have some time to myself. And I'm sure he has other friends who will want to spend time with him that doesn't include having me around.

A smile stretched my face, and I hummed as I began packing. I had a solution to the problem of next year, and all summer to myself. Just me and my parents and no unwelcome invitations from any of those I'd met in October. Unless they'd sent the invitation to my parents again, like Meri had for Easter. That would be quite unpleasant.

I snorted. I was not letting any of them ruin my summer. They could send an invitation, but I was not going to accept it. I wanted the time to myself, the time to spend with my parents, and them alone. Not with Meri or Ri or the Malfoys. Or anyone else of that lot.

Once my trunk was packed once more, I settled onto my bed with a book for the rest of the day. If anyone wanted to talk to me, they could wait until next year. Or perhaps on the train. Maybe.

~ ~~ ~

I was quite content with the empty compartment I had on the train back, with no one willing to sit with me, not with Ron and Harry still snubbing me. I had a book that I hadn't read yet settled in my lap, and Crookshanks occupying the sunny patch on the seat across from me. All in all a perfect way to spend the trip home.

The door opened, and I looked up with irritation. Crookshanks hissed at Draco, and I glared.

"What are you doing here, Malfoy? Don't you have someone else to annoy?"

He smirked, and sat on the seat next to Crookshanks, ignoring the baleful glare my cat gave him. "Why should I, Granger? You are so easy to wind up, after all. Why should I waste the energy to locate some hapless first year?"

"Perhaps because it would have taken less energy than I'm sure it took you to find where I was sitting?" I said acidly. "And a first year is more likely to run off in tears than give you a black eye. Not to mention, none of them don't have a cat who's part Kneazle and hates you."

Draco's gaze slid over to where Crookshanks was sitting beside him, and inched away sideways. Not so cocky when there's a murderous glare in his direction from something he can't reason with. Or charm, or bully.

I smiled sweetly at Draco, and he began to look a bit nervous. Let's see how long it takes me to drive him out of my compartment. I want to read my book in peace.

"Of course, you could be here for another reason, now that I think a moment. After all, it wouldn't be the first time you were looking to be alone with me." My smile widened. "I wonder, are you looking for a matching handprint, or something more lasting?"

He scowled, and glared at me. "Very amusing, Granger."

"Actually, from here, it is. You are, after all, so easy to wind up."

Draco's eyes narrowed at getting his words thrown back in his face, but to give him credit, he didn't leave. "You and the wonder duo have a singular talent to irritate me, Granger. Nothing you ever do is wrong in the eyes of that simpleton Headmaster. You get away with breaking the rules, you have the whole school all but worshipping the ground you walk on. Even members of my own House!"

I snorted. I wished I lived in the world Draco's imagined I did. I might actually have enough people in the compartment I wouldn't be having this conversation with him. Bloody prat.

"You really have a skewed view of the world, Malfoy. If the other students were really that devoted to all three, do you really think you'd be sitting here talking to me?" I smiled bitterly. "Maybe they're worshipping the hero-glow from Harry, but I really doubt it's anything more than that."

Draco raised an eyebrow, staring at me. "I'm shocked, Granger. Not defending your precious Potter and his sidekick?"

"Why should I?" I held his gaze. "Don't think you can get away with calling them names, though, Malfoy. But I'm not going to defend people who are perfectly capable of defending themselves, were they here."

Truth is, I'm sick of defending them when they do nothing but snub me and treat me like everything that happened since they rescued me from the troll in first year never did. I have better things to do. Like get Draco out of my compartment so I can read my book in peace.

"Honestly, though, Malfoy, what are you doing here?" I waved a dismissive hand when he flashed a smirk, and started to open his mouth. "I know, you said it was because I was so easy to annoy. But you and I both know that's not the real reason. You never have just one reason to attempt making my life miserable."

"What, I don't succeed, Granger?" He gave me a mock-hurt expression.

I rolled my eyes. "No, Malfoy, you don't. I'd have to actually care what you think for your insults to hurt."

Draco didn't reply, and I frowned. He had a thoughtful expression on his face that I couldn't read. I didn't like it.

"What are you thinking, Malfoy?" I snapped, wondering how much trouble I'd get into if I simply hexed him and shoved him out of the compartment. It would be worth the trouble to get rid of the prat.

He shrugged, standing slowly. "It doesn't matter, Granger." Draco pulled a letter out of his pocket, and dropped it on my lap. "Mother wishes to see you, and she has once again insisted I give you the message instead of sending it directly to you." His cold gaze met mine. "I don't like Mother being interested in you, Granger."

He said nothing more, but swept out of the compartment, closing the door behind him.

I flung the message from Narcissa onto the seat across from me, and set my book aside. I wasn't going to be able to read any more of the book now. Not after the encounter with Malfoy.

~ ~~ ~

As I stepped off the train, the first person I spotted was the last one I wanted to see. My jaw tightened at the sight of Narcissa Malfoy heading directly for me, with someone trailing behind her reluctantly.

"Hermione!" Narcissa smiled at me, her wand out to send my trunk and Crookshanks' basket to land neatly on a waiting trolley. "Leave those a moment, my dear, and come talk with me. Draco did give you the letter, I hope?" She raised an eyebrow, the smile never faltering.

"He did," I said evenly. "I haven't had the chance yet to read it, though. He only gave it to me on the train."

Narcissa's smile faltered a moment, and I saw annoyance flicker in her eyes before she ruthlessly clamped down on her emotions. "I shall have to speak to him about that later. But no matter."

She pulled the person who had been following her around her to face me. I raised an eyebrow at the sheepish expression on Lisette's face. I hadn't expected to see her again after the Christmas holiday.

"Hello," Lisette said quietly. I wondered why she was here with Narcissa, and why Lucius wasn't with them.

"Lucius is keeping Bella and Rudy entertained at the moment. They don't know where Lisette is at the moment, and we wish to keep it that way."

I frowned, raising an eyebrow at Lisette. "Why?"

"Aunt Cissa and Uncle Lucius are helping me run away from my parents for the summer." Lisette smiled wanly, and I could see the fear in her eyes. "If they find out where I am, they'll kill me. But I can't stay with them. Tomas doesn't have to stay with them, since he's reached his majority, but they can still insist I stay."

"Oh." I pressed my lips together, trying to think of how to politely word a refusal. I liked Lisette, but I didn't want to put my parents at risk.

I was saved from having to answer by someone clattering off the train behind me. I turned to look, and began to chew on my lower lip when I saw Ginny. It would be almost more of a problem to explain this all to her than it would to tell Narcissa I couldn't invite Lisette to stay the summer.

"Hey, Hermione." Ginny smiled at me, and I had the distinct impression she'd been noisy on purpose. She could have overheard this all anyway, and I wouldn't have to explain. Not this situation, anyway. She'd likely ask why Narcissa was asking for my assistance at some point.

Her gaze slid from me to Narcissa and Lisette. "Lisette. Mrs. Malfoy," she said evenly. "Where are the boys?"

The scandalized expression on Narcissa's face was priceless, for the few brief seconds it was there. I almost wished Colin was there with his camera. Almost.

"Draco has yet to step off the train," Narcissa replied as she drew an almost visible cloak of haughty superiority around her, "as you might notice, and Lucius is otherwise occupied."

Ginny raised an eyebrow. "Otherwise occupied?"

When Narcissa didn't respond, Ginny tilted her head towards me. "If you don't fill me in on what's going on, I'll make Hermione tell me."

Lovely woman. Just draw Narcissa's attention back to me. I wanted out of the situation, not further embroiled in it.

Narcissa gave me a sharp look, and I shrugged, as if I didn't care. It would be nice not to get further involved in this, and leave it to Ginny to sort out, but that would hardly be productive.

"Aunt 'Cissa, she's family." Lisette spoke quietly. "Mother would expect me to go to someone who is family. And I don't want her to find me. Or those who are helping me."

Ginny blinked, and motioned for Lisette to continue. As the silence stretched out, she clicked her tongue impatiently. "I'm not a gossip, and I bloody know that dirty laundry does not get aired in public. As well as the idea that family takes care of family. So why are you going to Hermione about a problem with a relative before coming to someone who's actually related to you?"

I replied for them, when Lisette gave me an agonized look, and Narcissa merely pressed her lips to a thin line. "They don't want to take it to someone in the family because it might get back to Bellatrix, or so I have the impression their reasoning goes." I glared briefly at Narcissa, who chose that moment to become interested in who was coming off the train. "They have to find someplace for Lisette to stay for the summer. She's running away from her parents, since they decided they wanted to actually be her guardians for the summer."

"Such lovely people, the Lestranges are," Ginny said dryly. "And for a problem with such a simple solution, you're going through an awful lot of trouble. She can stay with me. I'll convince mum it's a good idea, and her parents won't find her. Will they, Hermione?" She raised an eyebrow at me, a slight smile playing at the corners of her mouth.

If she was thinking what I was, no one would find Lisette other than members of the Order. That would make life very easy. I wouldn't have to put my parents in danger, and it would provide Lisette an opportunity to get to know some family I suspected she'd had little contact with except for Easter picnics at Meri's home.

Narcissa looked skeptical, and I put on a reassuring smile. "Lisette will be perfectly safe, Mrs. Malfoy." I paused, a thought coming to mind. "Where do you want us to bring her at the end of the summer? She's not going to Hogwarts, so..."

"Actually, Bella has decided Lisette will be attending Hogwarts for her sixth and seventh years," Narcissa interrupted me, a slight frown on her face. "She's asked Lucius and I to make the arrangements, of course, as she and Rudy are persona non grata at Hogwarts."

"Of course." I sighed. "Then we'll just bring her with us when we come here on September first. It won't be a problem."

"Than that's settled." Ginny looped her arm through Lisette's, and pulled her along towards an island of red hair that marked where the Weasleys were gathering. I watched her vanish into the crowd, wishing I could follow, and be welcomed there, but I doubted they'd want me around, after the events of the past year.

"I expect your parents will be waiting for you, Hermione," Narcissa said tightly, interrupting my thoughts. "I should expect you'll want to see them again, after being away from them for so long."

I gave her an annoyed look. "They'll wait a little longer. I have people to say goodbye to before the summer holidays." I grabbed the trolley with my belongings, and started into the crowd, heading for the barrier, for all that I had said I wouldn't. I slowed as I drew close to the knot of Weasleys, hoping that maybe I could join them, for at least a brief moment.

Ginny turned, and caught my eye, shaking her head slightly, while mouthing, "Later." I could see Ron just beyond her, giving Lisette a distrustful look, and Harry beside him, his green eyes scanning the crowd. They fell on me a moment, and he raised an eyebrow, as if asking if I had something I wanted to talk about.

Clenching my jaw, I turned away, marching out through the barrier to my waiting parents. I was looking forward to a summer vacation without cold glares and arrogant prats.