How I Spent My Spring Holidays, By Prof. Severus Snape

Prof. S.Q. Snape

Story Summary:
A truthful account of the events of last March.

In which I rail against the stupidity of my houseguests and the squalour of my general surroundings.

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In which I suffer a calamity and hear part of "I, Pagliacci" sung very poorly.

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In which I make my debut in children's theatre, steal and car and swear mildly.

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In which I discover two nines in the bottom left-hand square.

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In which I, following advice from one of my murder victims, make my escape.

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In which Hagrid wears bowling shoes.

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In which Dumbledore is mistaken yet again.

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In which Miss Granger is as annoying as ever.

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In which a scar comes in useful.

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In which I embark on the quest to find Salazar Slytherin's bling.

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In which Albus Dumbledore and Dirty Den share a fate.

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In which my tale reaches a satisfactory conclusion.

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