Life Is For Living

****

"So, how did it go?" Angelina asked as they sat down.

"What do you mean, 'how did it go'?" Katie asked looking at Angelina oddly.

"You and Oliver?"

"I got that, Ang," she said looking at her friend before sighing, "We talked."

"About what?" Angelina asked.

"Merlin, go get your own boyfriend," Katie said grabbing a roll from a nearby tray, "then I can ask you stupid questions."

Angelina rolled her eyes. "I'll get one in time. Now, come on!" she said exasperated before dropping her voice to a whisper, "Did you tell him about your visions?"

Katie almost dropped her goblet and glared at Angelina. "No!" she shouted in a whisper, "Of course not!"

"Why?" Angelina said turning to face her on the bench.

"I'll tell him when I've figured it out, Ang. I mean, I don't want him worrying about me. Well, more than he already does," Katie said her brows furrowing, "I want to be able to control these things. I mean, I never saw my dad blacking out from visions and I inherited from him. And until I can, he's not going to know."

Angelina looked at her skeptically, but nodded. "You're right of course. Why worry him over nothing?"

"Exactly," Katie said, watching Angelina out of the corner of her eye, waiting for her reprimand.

It didn't take very long.

"I just don't think you should keep things from him."

Katie started on her dinner and ignored her. Fred, George, and Lee joined the table a short while later and didn't question the frosty silence between the two girls.

****

After dinner, Katie snuck off in the crowd and down to the dungeons. She ducked inside the Potions classroom and waited. Snape came in a few minutes later, massaging his temples and muttering.

"Professor?" Katie said just loud enough not to startle him.

He whirled around and caught sight of Katie. He stalked back to the door and closed and locked it before turning back to her, his expression curious.

"Yes, Miss Bell?"

"I met with Oliver today," Katie said reaching into her robes for the papers, "and he told me he did some research on my parents."

Snape's face drained of color and Katie giggled. "Hey, we had the same reaction."

A smirk came to Snape's face. "So, what did Wood find?"

Katie handed him the papers. "Invites to every Wizarding social event this season and next. But look at that one," she said picking out the Christmas party invite and putting it on top of the pile.

Snape scanned the list, and nodded knowingly. "Death Eater gathering. Well, the ones Lucius knows will show up. Notice how I'm not on it?" he said handing back the papers to Katie, "He knows that the Headmaster would be suspicious if I left the castle under the pretense to visit a non-existent family."

"Oh," Katie said, and didn't meet his eye.

So, Snape had no family either? What had happened to his parents? She looked up to see Snape massaging his temples again.

"I'll go. You probably have things to do," Katie said sheepishly, standing and making her way toward the door, "Things on you mind."

"Wait a moment, Katie," he said, but his voice was drifting away from Katie.

She turned and watched as he walked behind his desk. He emerged with a vile and Katie involuntarily cringed.

"You don't have to take this, if you don't want to. It's up to you. The side effects are less numerous than the other," he said, his expression somewhat upset, "Why didn't come to me about that?"

"I had planned to, but I passed out in the hall before I-" Katie said, but Snape held up a hand.

"I should have noticed before that," he said as he handed her the phial, "Like I said, it's your choice."

"Alright," Katie said looking at the blood red liquid, "I might give it a try, it's better than-"

All of a sudden, Katie's vision began to swim before her.

"Severus...." she said gripping the table edge nearest to her.

She felt Snape grab her forearms to support her. "Katie? Do you want to sit?"

Katie nodded weakly and felt herself being lowered to the dungeon floor. Her vision went black, and she shut her eyes against it. She saw an old house atop a hill and a yew tree to the left. A short figure was walking toward her, with a bundle in its arms. And then it was gone. She opened her eyes, and shook her head lightly. She felt a blinding headache coming on.

"Are you alright?" she heard Severus ask, although it sounded much too loud for Katie's liking.

She grabbed her head as it throbbed. "Yeah, don't talk so loud," she whispered.

"What did you see?" he said, his voice lower than before.

"A house on a hill, a yew tree, and a man with something in his arms," Katie whispered, snorting, "Could I be anymore vague?"

She felt Snape rest a hand on her shoulder. "It's not your fault you can't channel it."

"Where's the phial?" she said looking around, and spotting it a short distance away, "Ah. There it is."

She leaned forward to grasp it, and received a perplexed look from Snape when she was yet again examining the phial.

"What?"

"How did you do that?"

Katie arched an eyebrow. "I leaned forward and picked it up."

"No, Katie, you didn't. It was over by that desk," he said pointing about five feet away from them, "It rolled off when I sat you down. You used wand-less magic."

Katie stared at him in disbelief. "No, I didn't. It was right there," she said pointing near where her feet were, "I just picked it up."

"I know what I saw," Snape said eyeing her, "Not many wizards can perform wand-less magic. It takes extreme mental concentration," he said thoughtfully, "Perhaps because of the vision. Yes, your senses are heightened, aren't they?" he said more to himself then to Katie.

He trailed off for a moment before looking back at Katie. "Can you make it up to Gryffindor Tower?"

"Yeah," Katie said, attempting to stand, but swaying dangerously as she straightened herself.

Snape grabbed her arm as she swayed and forced her to sit on a nearby stool. "No, you sit for a while longer."

Katie pouted, but feeling dizzy again, she didn't argue. She watched Snape sit across from her, watching her closely, as if she were going to topple off the stool any moment. Her mind seemed to snap back to Snape's statement about his "non-existent family".

"Uh, Professor?" Katie said, catching his attention, "What did you mean earlier? About your family?"

A look of indignation crossed Snape's face, but he sighed and looked at Katie, less harshly this time. "My parents have been dead for years. And the remaining members don't see fit to speak to me."

Katie's brow furrowed, and she looked down at her hands. "Sorry I-"

"No, it's ok."

Katie looked up to see a sad smiled on his face. "I'm still sorry."

He nodded and cleared his throat. "I've been meaning to speak to you about your nighttime meetings."

Katie's eyes widened. "I-"

Snape held up his hand. "I'm not yelling at you. Nor will I say anything to Draco," he said lowering his hand, "However, that particular hallway is charmed. And has been for many years. Filch will not catch you there. But outside of that hallway and you're on your own."

"How do you know it's charmed?" Katie asked utterly confused.

"Because I charmed it," he said shortly, "Sometimes a silencing charm on your bed hangings isn't enough."

Katie stared at him. He'd never really talked about his time at Hogwarts to her. 'Well, besides stuff about Remus,' she reminded herself. She opened her mouth to ask him something, anything, when he stood abruptly and cleared his throat.

"You should be well enough to get up to your common room now."

"Yeah," Katie said, standing also, "See you in class then."

But Snape was already walking away from her. Katie turned and walked to the door. Unlocking it, she made her way out of the dungeons and up to Gryffindor Tower, making sure that her papers and her phial were hidden away in her linear pockets.

****

At quarter of eleven, Katie snuck out of her dormitory and out of Gryffindor Tower. The Fat Lady wasn't too happy about this.

"Where are you off to, dear?" she said in a warning tone.

"Oh, no where really. Just have to meet someone. I won't be long," Katie said sweetly, hoping that she would get off easy.

"Just don't get caught by Argus, dear," she said winking in her portrait.

"I won't," Katie said, waving to the Fat Lady as she ran off down the hall.

She made her way down to the corridor on the fourth floor, and waited. A short while later, Draco showed up, looking as if he hadn't expected her to show.

"Kate, hey," he said, walking a little faster to get to her.

"Hi."

He embraced her before she realized he was going to. She stiffened before relaxing into the hug.

"What's all this?" she asked, "You alright?"

Draco shook his head against her shoulder and Katie's heart ached for him. She pulled out of the hug and tried to catch his eye.

"Well, what's wrong?" she asked kindly.

Draco walked over to the nearby wall and slumped against it. "Got a letter from my father this morning before breakfast."

Katie's heart skipped a beat. She walked over and sat beside him. "And?"

"He wants me home for Christmas," he said scooting close to her, leaning his head on her shoulder.

"Christmas Party?"

Draco snorted. "More like a Death Eater induction," he said in a dejected voice.

Katie looked over at him. "Well, you're not going," she said evenly, "I don't know how, but I'll think of something."

"Why?" Draco asked weakly.

"Why, what?" Katie asked looking at him.

"Just let me go."

"Draco, what's wrong with you?" Katie asked sitting up to look at him better.

His eyes were void of any information that could help her. They were blank. And cold.

"Nothing," he said shrugging.

Katie narrowed her eyes and grabbed his wrist roughly. At his sharp intake of breath, Katie's worst fears were confirmed. She wrenched up his sleeve and looked at the fresh cuts on the inside of his arm. She looked up at him, eyes filling with tears.

"Why?" she asked vehemently.

Draco pulled is wrist from her grasp and scrambled to stand against the wall. "Why do you care anyway? I don't understand why you're doing this!"

Katie stood and looked at him oddly. "Why do I care?" she said in a vicious tone, "Because no one else will! And I thought you deserved some compassion. From someone who understood. But if you're going to take me for granted, than fuck you!" she said, tears welling in her eyes, "You're no better than what people say about you! You're just a selfish bastard!" she said as the tears spilled down her cheeks.

"Don't say that-"

"You practically begging me to!" Katie said shouting now, "Is that what you want? For me to hate you, just like everyone else? Because I'm a hell of a good actress, Malfoy, and it is a possibility."

Draco just stared at her, opening his mouth as if he were going to say something, but deciding against it at the last moment. Katie snorted, shaking her head at him, before turning and walking away from him. Katie was almost out of the hall, when she heard a loud sob.

"Katie, please don't leave me!" Draco sobbed out, and when Katie turned, she saw he had dropped to his knees.

Katie stood at the end of the hall, contemplating what to do. She could leave him here, and make her opinion known. Or she could do what her feet had already decided she was going to do: comfort Draco. She was halfway over to him when he looked up, tears staining his pale cheeks, now tinged pink from crying.

"Katie, I didn't mean it like that. And I'm sorry about the cuts," he said hiccoughing slightly, "I would never take you for granted. I-" he said, but stopped short and sat back, resting on is ankles.

Katie knelt down before him, lifting his chin so she could look him in the eye. "If you're feeling depressed, you come to me. Don't resort to that anymore," she said lifting his wrist slightly, "It's not worth it. Trust me."

Draco sniffed and nodded, before lowering his head once more. Katie leaned forward and wrapped her arms around him, and Draco did the same. His shoulders shook as she held him on those cold stones, and Katie knew it was going to be a while before she would even think about letting him out of her sight.

****

After an hour or so of talking, Katie was growing tired, and Draco looked as if he were going to nod off on her shoulder any moment.

"Draco, I think we should head back to the common rooms," Katie said softly.

Draco nodded and sat up straighter, stretching his arms over his head. "Sorry I was such a whinny prat," he said, yawning.

"Well, I'm sorry about what I said. I was angry, I didn't mean it."

"Yeah, but it was true," Draco said standing, and holding out a hand for her, "If it's true, I don't mind. Now if you were lying...."

Katie took his hand smiling, and he helped her stand. She turned to go, when he tugged on her hand. She turned back around to face him, an eyebrow arched. He leaned in close to her and placed a kiss on her cheek.

"Goodnight, Kate," he said in a whisper, before walking off in the opposite direction.

Katie placed a hand on her cheek, and stared after him. 'Alright, it's official. Malfoy's got a crush on me,' she thought, blinking, 'I'm fucked.'

*

Draco walked down the hallways, slowly, watching for any sign of Filch or Mrs. Norris.

'What the fuck were you thinking, Malfoy? You almost, almost told her that you loved her, and then you kissed her! Brilliant. Absolutely fucking brilliant!' he said breaking into a run when he reached the marble staircase, 'How could I have let myself fall for her?'

Another section of his brain answered the question for him. 'Well, why not? She's beautiful, and she cares about you. Who cares about Wood? It's not like you want her all for yourself. It's just a crush! Nothing spectacular,' he thought.

"If only that were true," he mumbled at the entrance to the Slytherin Common Room, "Potter Stinks."

*

Katie walked slowly through the halls, making sure she didn't run into Filch or Mrs. Norris on the way. When she reached Gryffindor Tower, she gave the password to the Fat Lady, and entered the common room. The first thing she noticed was the Ron was sitting on the staircase leading to the dormitories. The second thing she noticed was that he was turning a badge over in his hands. She walked over to him slowly and sat down on the stairs beside him.

"Don't want to talk, Katie. Go away," he mumbled.

Up close, Katie could see a red mark on Ron's forehead. Connecting it to the badge, Katie started to wonder what had happened.

"Ron, come on. You can tell me-"

"I walked in on Harry talking to- I don't know!" he said angrily, "And he got angry, which set me off. And he threw this at me," he said holding up the badge, "Said maybe I'd get a scar, like I want," he said growing quieter, "He was right."

Katie placed a hand on Ron's back and rubbed small circles on it, feeling how tense Ron was. "So, you admit that you're jealous?"

Ron just nodded.

"Hell, I would be to if I were 'Harry Potter's sidekick'," Katie said softly, "But you know you're more than that. You're his best friend," she said moving her hand to his opposite shoulder as he leaned against her, "Harry doesn't have the perfect life, you know. People always out to try and kill him or hurt him. And it's not as if he wanted all this. His fame and all. And you know that, I know you do."

Ron brought a hand up to his forehead and rubbed the red spot. "He really got me," he said, a laugh in his voice.

Katie laughed lightly and placed a kiss on Ron's forehead. "Better?"

"Yeah. Thanks, Kate."

"No problem," she said standing, "I don't know about you, but I am beat. I'm going to bed."

"I'll follow you," Ron said standing and chucking the badge across the room.

She parted with Ron on the fourth level with a good night hug, and went up two more levels to her dormitory. As she lay in bed, she thought of how she was going to allow Draco to stay at Hogwarts for Christmas. She didn't know, as she drifted off to sleep, that the perfect excuse would be presented to her the next morning at breakfast.