Life Is For Living

****

Sitting down to the Halloween Feast that night, anticipation hung in the air. In just a little over an hour, the Goblet of Fire would pick it's three Champions. The Gryffindors were all hoping for Angelina, the Hufflepuffs were counting on Cedric, the Slytherins were rooting for Warrington, and Katie had seen Roger Davies put his name in for Ravenclaw. She looked around the Hall at all the eager and impatient faces, and wondered how they could be so calm about this.

Looking up at the faculty table, Katie noticed that both Ludo Bagman and Percy's boss, Mr. Crouch were both present again. Her eyes scanned over to Snape, who was busy examining his food and looked as if something on his mind. Furrowing her brow, she looked back at her own food, unconsciously mimicking his movements. She felt as if she were just waiting for a bomb to drop. So much so, her stomach had turned into a big knot and she sat her fork down before putting her head in her hands.

**

- I'm sitting here crying here,

You're alone and dying there,

Waiting for bad news.

Like walking on broken glass,

No answers for what was asked,

You're all alone -

Mest - "Walking on Broken Glass"

**

The tears came like second nature to her. She had two childhood friends, one good friend, and one new friend vying for this stupid Tournament. She had known Angelina and Roger for as long as she could remember. They were as close as family to her, even though she didn't see Roger as much as she would have liked. Then there was Cedric, whom she now regretted not getting to know sooner. This was his last year at Hogwarts. And now Christian, who seemed a nice enough guy.

She felt a hand on her shoulder and sniffed as she looked up into Fred's worried face.

"What's wrong, Kate?" he asked furrowing his brow, "Wait, take that back," he said, a smile washing some of the worry from his face.

Katie gave him a quick smile, and wiped at her cheeks. "I just hate this, you know."

Fred moved his hand to her other shoulder and pulled her closer to him. "You sensitive, little person," he said softly.

Katie laughed lightly at that, but made no move to resist Fred's motions. She felt someone, presumably George, pat her head.

"Everything'll be fine, kid."

As soon as he said that, quiet fell over the Hall, as Dumbledore announced that it was almost time for the Champions to be announced. A moment later, a whooshing sound filled the Hall and all the candles, except those in the carved pumpkins, went out. An eerie glow filled the Hall from the Goblet. Katie sat up straighter and turned in her seat to watch the Goblet at the front of the Hall.

"Any second," Lee whispered from is seat on the other side of Fred.

Suddenly red sparks shot out of the Goblet and with it a piece of paper.

"The champion for Durmstrang will be, Victor Krum."

Applause ran out through the hall as Krum made his way from the Slytherin table to the room adjoining the Great Hall. Seconds later, the process was repeated.

"The champion for Beauxbatons is, Fleur Delacour!"

Katie watched the snooty girl from earlier follow the same path as Krum to polite applause. She felt her heart lighten knowing Christian hadn't been chosen. 'Now if only Warrington gets picked for Hogwarts,' she said closing her eyes in hope and grabbing a hold of Fred's hand as it sat between them. He looked at her oddly and gave her hand a squeeze, before looking back up toward the Goblet. The next second, another piece of parchment shot out of the Goblet and Dumbledore prepared to read from it.

"The Hogwarts champion is, Cedric Diggory!"

A roar went up from the Hufflepuff that was so loud, so one noticed that Katie was now sobbing. She let go of Fred's hand and brought both of her hands to her face. Fred turned in his seat and pulled her to him.

"Don't cry, Kate," he whispered by her ear, "Please don't cry."

Katie buried her head in his shoulder and tried to calm herself, as she listened to the applause still raging on for Cedric. Pulling away a few moments later, Katie wiped at her eyes and fought to keep her composure, as Dumbledore was speaking about supporting the Champions. All of a sudden, he stopped talking and Katie peered over Fred's shoulder as he turned to see what was going on. The Goblet had turned red again and another piece of parchment shot out of the Goblet. Dumbledore looked at the slip of parchment for many moments before clearing his throat and reading it.

"Harry Potter."

Katie was sure that if she hadn't been sitting, her knees would have given out. Silent tears were filling her eyes as everyone in the Hall turned their attention to the Gryffindor table. Harry glanced up the table, his eyes betraying is calm looking face. He was scared out of his wits and Katie could see it. She blinked and the tears rolled down her cheeks as she watched Harry stand, stumble, walk up to the faculty table, and continue to the small room.

The teachers scrambled at the faculty before sweeping off to the small room, Ludo Bagman, Karkaroff, and Madame Maxime in the lead.

"Well, I suggest that you all head up to you respective Towers. Sleep well," Dumbledore said, a frown set in his face and the twinkle gone from his eyes.

Katie felt Fred hoist her to her feet and bring a hand to her cheek.

"Alright, kid?"

Katie looked past Fred and caught Snape's eye as he swept across the Hall and into the room. He looked as bad as she felt. Fred moved to catch her eye and she blinked a few times before meeting his eyes.

"Are you alright to make it by yourself, or do you want me to help you?"

Katie felt weak and sick and wanted nothing more than to make Fred carry her. When she spoke, her voice was hoarse and sounded as if she hadn't used it in years.

"Can you help me?"

Fred smiled sadly. "Yeah. Yeah, I'll help you."

Taking her arm and placing it around his neck, Fred began to slowly walk them from the Hall, his hand on the small of her back to steady her. She could hear Angelina and Alicia fussing from the other side of the table, but it was muffled. All she could hear was the blood pounding in her ears and her own breathing.

Seven staircases felt like an eternity, and when they finally entered the common room, it felt as if someone had turned the mute off in Katie's ears as the celebrating Gryffindors chatter hit her ears full force. She removed her arm from around Fred's neck and clamped her hands over her ears. Angelina and Alicia took over from there. Grabbing each of Katie's arms, the pulled he through the crowd and up the stairs to their dorm. Once inside, Angelina shut and locked the door. The three of them walked over to Katie's bed and sat down. Katie didn't want to cry anymore.

"Are you going to be alright if we go downstairs? I know you need your rest," Angelina said placing a hand on her forehead.

Alicia stood and walked over to Katie's bedside table and picked up Mikey. Holding it out to her, Katie took hold of him weakly.

"Yeah. I do need to sleep."

"I'll come up and check on you, ok?" Angelina said softly, rubbing Katie's back.

Katie nodded weakly, as Angelina stood.

"Which drawer are your pajamas in?" she asked smiling.

"Third," Katie said, hugging Mikey to her chest.

Idly she thought that everyone deserved at least one best friend and a loyal teddy bear in their life. Angelina pulled out a sleep shirt and the pants that went with it and sat them beside Katie. Crouching before Katie, Angelina looked at her seriously.

"Things will work out, ok? This isn't the end of the world."

Katie gave a weak smile. "Just worried is all."

Angelina smiled and stood. "We'll be back to check on you, and you better be asleep," she chided teasingly.

Katie smiled at her friends as they left the room, but couldn't help taking Angelina's words literally.

**

- The end of the world's in front of me,

Hard to believe,

All I see.

It comes so close but pulls away,

To let me stay,

Another day.

It's one chance in your lifetime,

But it won't be the last time.

It seems there's always the next hill to climb,

And you know there's a lifetime -

Mest - "Chance Of A Lifetime"

**

She sat Mikey down on the bed beside her and used the last of her strength to pull herself to her feet and walk to the bathroom, pajamas in hand. She hated being emotionally drained. She spoke like a child and had the strength of one. It really wasn't any fun. She disposed of her uniform in the bin for the house-elves and pulled on her pajamas. After splashing some water on her face, she walked back over to her bed. Organizing her blankets was a strenuous exercise, but as she snuggled down into the warmness, she didn't mind it. Gathering Mikey close, she sighed and realized how much she needed Oliver at that moment. She closed her eyes against the tears forming in them and willed sleep to come.

****

The next morning at breakfast, Katie didn't eat, but instead spent her time writing a lengthy letter to Oliver, practically begging him to try and come for the next Hogsmeade trip on November 22nd. She made Fred read it to make sure she hadn't gone into needy-girlfriend mode. Fred had smiled at her.

"I'm sure he'd be here within the hour if he was allowed to be. You could never sound needy, Kate."

With that reassurance, Katie marched up to the Owlery, passing Hermione and Harry as she went. Giving the letter to an eager looking tawny owl, she watched as it flew off into the cloudy sky. Turning around, she jumped at seeing that she wasn't alone.

"Cedric!" she said, a hand over her heart.

Cedric smiled sheepishly. "You looked so lost in thought," he said, raising the parchment in his hand, "Have to send off a letter to mum and dad about getting picked, you know."

Katie nodded numbly and watched Cedric send his letter off before turning and looking out the window again. She felt warmth beside her a moment later.

"Mind if I join you?"

"No."

They stood in silence, watching the clouds float across the sky stretched out in front of them. Cedric leaned his elbows on the ledge to get down to her height and moved closer to her.

"Who'd you write to?" he said softy.

"Oliver," Katie said sighing, "I didn't think I'd miss him so much. I tried thinking about how annoying he was, you know, waking the team up at the crack of dawn for practice," she said, a sad smile gracing her face, "But it only made me miss him more."

"You're in love," Cedric said simply, "of course you're going to miss him madly."

He nudged her arm lightly, causing Katie to smile and nudge him back.

"Ah, a genuine smile. I've missed those, Miss Bell."

Katie laughed and shook her head. "Have you, Mr. Diggory?"

Cedric nudged her again and Katie burst into giggles. Cedric's bemused expression only fueled her further.

"Merlin, we sounded like something out of a Jane Austen novel."

"Jane Who?" Cedric asked, smiling at Katie's amusement.

"Muggle author, never mind, you uncultured wizard."

"I beg your pardon," Cedric said laughing, "Uncultured? Whose the girl laughing amongst hay, owls, and subsequently, owl shit?"

Katie pulled herself up and tried to stop laughing. "Certainly not me."

"You're absolutely mad, you know that right?" Cedric said grinning.

"Well then you must be too. I'm told madness is contagious. I'm sure I caught my madness from the Weasley household," Katie said grinning back at him.

Cedric shook his head and took her hand. "I'm taking you back to your friends before you hurt yourself."

Katie smiled and let herself be led, feeling more like herself than she had in a long while.