I Only Wanted

A/N : Thanks for the reviews people! You guys always have the best questions and suggestions.

    Now, I'm feeling the need to skip ahead again. Not far, just to the next day. I'll explain how everyone else reacted, but not in the detail I did with Cedric, Oliver, and Percy. I think those are the main male characters for Katie in this story, so I'm leaving it at that. A large conversation with Lee will come later on. After this chapter or the next. I think he needs more time to collect his thoughts.

    And while sending an owl to andrea3382 I had an epiphany for how Ol and Katie will hook up. Ever hear the song "Save The Best For Last" by Vanessa Williams? Yeah, listen to the second verse sometime. I'm gonna use those lyrics.

    *smiles* I always get ideas when listening to the radio and writing owls. I'm also going to be using some lyrics from the Simple Plan song "Perfect" in coming chapters. Its absolutely beautiful and I think it shows some of Katie's emotions pretty accurately.

    Ok, READ!

P.S. Just saw HP&CoS for the fifth time today. I would have had this chapter out tonite but, I was in the movie theater and running errands all day, so, no time to write. Plus, I needed a break. Just to collect my thought and read some of the fanfics I had been reading. Play catch-up. Get some ideas. Ok. Yeah I know, 5 times. I'm loony. But it was only $2 at the discount cinema. I couldn't resist!

****

    The next day, Katie woke up rather early and spent the morning watching Madam Pomfrey bustle around her, tending to clumsy students. But her peace didn't last long. Fred, being dragged by George and Angelina, followed by Alicia, entered the Wing. Fred was reluctant to even look Katie in the eye, until she made him. Trying to get him to understand was another thing. He was, undeniably, in denial over the events, and rather angry to boot. Angelina just kept a hand on his arm, trying to keep him calm.

    That had made Katie smile. Her friends looked rather cute together. Fred finally broke down and hugged Katie, murmuring something about being sorry. Katie kept her anger in check. She was still rather hurt that people had gone to lengths to save her life. She really hadn't ever given it any thought. She had figured that Percy and Cedric might be hurt, but no one else. She figured they would just move on. She was staying strong on that principle.

    Alicia had stayed on the outside of the group, not saying much and looking pretty much wrecked. Katie guessed she was feeling guilty about them not ever making up, and the fact that Katie had almost…. Yeah, that was probably it.

    Madam Pomfrey shooed them away and informed Katie that the Headmaster wanted to see her. She handed Katie a clean uniform and clean robes, since the sweater and robe she had been wearing the other day were obviously ruined. She slipped them on quickly and allowed Madam Pomfrey to change her bandages. She then made her way out of the Hospital Wing.

    It felt weird, walking around the halls, acting normally. When in reality, she felt anything but normal. She was scared. People were looking at her as she passed them and whispering. As she made her way toward the corridor that held Dumbledore's office, she encountered someone she didn't want to see.

    "We just keep running into each other," Katie said, crossing her arms across chest, thoroughly enjoying the shock on the persons face.

    Draco Malfoy looked at her startled and then covered it quickly with his trademark smirk. "So, it is true," he said, his eyes flashing to her clearly visible bandage, "You know, I can relate."

    Katie snorted, trying not to laugh. "Oh sure, you. Little rich boy. I'm so sure you can relate," she said walking past him.

    "Never can tell," Draco said softly, so softly that Katie almost didn't hear him.

    She shook her head and walked on toward Dumbledore's office. Professor McGonagall was standing next to the gargoyle. Katie suddenly remembered that she didn't know the password.

    'That would have looked real good, Bell,' she thought, walking over to McGonagall.

    "Are you feeling better today, Miss. Bell?" she said in a rather clipped tone.

    Katie flinched slightly, remembering how rude she was to her Head of House. "Yes, Professor, I do," she said smiling apologetically.

    The older woman smiled back before turning to the gargoyle. "Shooting Star," she said and the gargoyle jumped aside.

    "Good luck, Miss. Bell," McGonagall said, before walking away.

    Katie stepped onto the moving staircase, silently wondering why McGonagall had wished her luck. When she reached the top landing, she was still confused about why she was here. She sincerely hoped that there weren't wizards waiting inside the office with straightjackets, just waiting to whisk her off to St. Mungo's. She took a deep breath, praying to whatever gods would help her now, and knocked on the door. A voice inside permitted her entrance and Katie opened the door slowly. When she could glimpse the room, she groaned inwardly. Standing there was Lupin and Snape, and Dumbledore was perched behind his desk.

    "Come in, Miss. Bell, come in. Feeling any better today?" he said, his eyes twinkling.

    Katie wanted to bark an insult at him, but Lupin's presence seemed to be prohibiting her from doing so. She instead, walked toward the chair seated in front of Dumbledore's and sat in it.

    "Peachy," she said, rolling her eyes, "I'm sorry Professor, but what do you want with me now?"

    Dumbledore chuckled and smiled at her. "I would like you to speak with your Professors here," he said, motioning to Snape and Lupin.

    Katie looked to each Professor and then back to Dumbledore. "How'd you get them both to agree to this?"

    Dumbledore smiled. "I have my ways, Miss. Bell. Now, I have some business to attend to with Professor McGonagall, so I will leave you three to talk."

    Katie stood at that and looked at the old man with indignation written clearly on her face. "What if I don't think that that is a good idea?"

    "Believe me, Miss. Bell, I don't want to be here anymore than you do. But the quicker you talk with Lupin, the quicker we can all go back to our lives," Snape offered, obviously trying to throw some water on Katie's flaring temper.

    Katie pouted and sat in the chair, crossing her arms across her chest. "Fine."

    Dumbledore patted her head as he left. "Thank you, Miss. Bell. And feel free to take your anger on the picture over there. It will save me the trouble of having to pay for someone to do the same," he said as he closed the door behind him.

    Katie heard Lupin laugh softly. She turned and glared at him, and his face turned serious.

    "Alright, Katie. I want to know why you did what you did? I mean, you're an excellent student. I think Professor Snape will concur with me on that. You're an excellent Quidditch Player. And most importantly, you have some loyal friends," Lupin said perching himself on Dumbledore's desk, so he could watch Katie properly.

    "See, that last part is where you're wrong. My friends only seem to be loyal when I try and off myself. Unless I'm in a hospital bed, they don't get it. They don't get how alienated I feel," Katie said glaring up at him, her jaw set.

    "Well," Lupin said taking on the role of a psychiatrist, "How alienated do you feel?"

    "Have you ever been in a crowded room and have no one realize that you even came or went? Or, when we win a game and all Oliver does is gush over how well Harry played and the rest of us are supposed to feel the same way? I mean, we were on that pitch, playing just as hard, if not harder, than Harry," Katie said, her mind jumping from one thing to another at an alarming rate, "Or, your friends girlfriend pitying you because you like her boyfriend? Or even, being given up on by your own parents," she finished, wiping at her eyes as the tears came.

    Lupin smiled sympathetically, but was happy that he'd found the root of all of this. Her parents. He noticed Severus walk across the room to them and hand Katie a conjured box of tissues.

    "Thank you," Katie said taking them from him.

    He nodded curtly and moved back to his post. Katie looked up and noticed Lupin suppressing a laugh.

    "What are you laughing at?"

    Lupin held up his hands in defense, and Snape raised his voice from the other side of the room.

    "Don't laugh at her. She's baring her feelings right now and you have the nerve-"

    "Severus, shush. I was laughing at you," Lupin said smiling mischievously, "Katie, you don't know how odd it is to see him actually care about someone. And I've known him a while now."

    Katie smiled. "I'm his prodigy. He has to like me."

    Snape scoffed from across the room. "Honestly."

    Katie stifled a laugh and looked up at Lupin. "So, are you going to go into this whole deal about how I'm just upset about my parents, because that’s not it at all."

    "You're not?"

    "Well, I am, but that’s not the reason. I did it because no one appreciates me. I'm just taken for granted with everything. Everyone expects me to be everything to everyone, and I can't be. It sounds dumb, but it’s the truth."

    "It doesn't sound dumb at all. Now, about your friends though. I can understand why you're mad at them. They aren't there for you like you need them to be until its too late. I get that. But do you think there's any possibility that you could forgive them? Give them another chance?" Lupin said soothingly.

    Katie looked up at him, unblinkingly and answered, "I don't know," before dissolving into tears. Lupin hopped off the desk and kneeled before her chair, pulling her into a hug.

    "I know how you feel, Katie. I do. It's hard, I know. But your friends are your friends, and they're always going to be there. Its just a shame that something like this has to happen to open up their eyes," he said pulling back and lifting her chin so she'd look at him, "I don't know what I would have done without my friends. I wouldn't have made it through school if I hadn't had them. They helped me through my darkest days. You just have to let them know what you need from them. If you need to talk, ask them if they have time to. If you need a hug, ask for one. If they really want to keep you, Katie, they'll do whatever you ask. And I have a feeling they want to keep you," he said smiling.

    Katie blinked and looked down as tears streamed down her face, and Lupin pulled her into another hug. Katie rested her head on his shoulder and cried. That feeling washed over her again of Lupin's parental capabilities and Katie had to admit to herself, that she felt as if she were hugging the dad she never truly had. When he pulled away, Katie had to force herself to let go.

    "Can you please try and talk to them?" he said and Katie didn't have to ask who.

    "I can try."

    "Can't ask for more than that," Lupin said smiling one more at her.

    Katie looked over at Snape. "So, any advice from you, Professor Snape?"

    Snape's expression turned from one of boredom to one of sincerity. "Don't ever try this little stunt again. I'm not making anymore life saving potions for you. Besides, you have a career in Potions if you chose it. Why give that up?" he said, a small smile gracing his face.

    Katie stood and walked across the room toward Snape. She stopped right in front of him and had to look up to look at his face, cursing herself again for being short.

    "Can I give you a hug? I promise I won't tell anyone," Katie said, very seriously.

    Snape seemed to be studying her for a moment, before rolling his eyes and leaning down slightly to hug her. Katie hugged him tight, knowing damn well this would never happen again, and no one would believe her anyway. Snape pulled away and straightened himself upright again, looking down at Katie.

    "Got that out of your system?" he said, in his characteristic manner.

    "Yes, thank you," Katie said, walking over to Lupin, who looked stunned.

    "Thanks Professor Lupin. I really appreciate all you said," she said, snapping his out of his daze.

    "You just- Wow. In all my years-"

    "Oh, come of it, Lupin," Snape said irritably.

    Katie had to suppress a giggle, so as not to further Snape's anger. She contented herself to look at Lupin again. She stood on tip-toe and hugged him again.

    "You would have made a good dad, Professor," she said, as he tightened his grip on her.

    When she looked at him again, his face was unreadable. It was a mixture of flattery and questioning.

    "Thank you, Katie. And, uh, if you ever need to talk, you know where my office is. My door is always open," he said smiling.

    "Ok, I'll remember that. I'm going to go and see if I can find anyone," Katie said walking toward the door of Dumbledore's office.

    She exited the office, feeling better than she had ever had. She walked toward the entrance hall without encountering anyone and quickly reached into the pocket of her robes for her watch.

    "They're probably down at the Quidditch pitch," she mused, walking out onto the school grounds.

    As she walked, she worked out what she was going to say when she got over to them. She got halfway there and realized by sight, that they were practicing. Without her. Anger coursed through her and she marched towards the pitch. A moment later, that anger made her switch directions and head back toward the castle.

    "If they don't need me to practice than that’s just fine," she muttered, walking over to her rock.

    She climbed up onto it and looked out over the lake. It took a moment for her to realize that she was not alone. She looked to her left and saw Draco Malfoy sitting on the ground, picking up rocks and throwing them out into the lake angrily. She watched as he wiped at his eyes angrily and sniffed.

    'Oh, this is priceless! Malfoy's don't cry me ass,' she thought comically in her head.

    She turned back to look out over the lake again and decided to let him know she was there.

    "This is Gryffindor Land you know, Malfoy," she said, watching him out of the corner of her eye.

    Draco looked up startled and Katie could distinctly see the tear streaks on his face. She felt her heart ache a little at the sight.

    "God, you almost gave me a heart attack, Bell," Draco said, hand clutched over the area where his heart was located.

    "You alright?" Katie asked, thoroughly hoping that he would drop the act.

    'I mean, I can see that he's been crying,' she thought to herself as she watched Draco carefully.

    Draco seemed to be having an internal battle. Trust a Gryffindor, or run away. Fight-or-flight. He stood and dusted off his pants lightly.

    "Room on that rock for me, Bell?"

    "Well, it is my rock. And I have a say of who can be here and who can't. I guess I can make an exception for a Malfoy," Katie said, a sarcastic edge to her last statement.

    Draco climbed up on the rock agilely and sat next to her. "Thanks. You know, I meant what I said. I can relate," he said reaching out and patting one of her bandaged arms.

    Katie rolled her eyes. She honestly could not think of one reason why this boy could have any reason to want to off himself. "Why? Why can you relate?"

    Draco wrenched up his sleeves and stuck out his arms, the underside facing the sky. "I cut too."

    Katie looked at the angry red lines on his pale skin. It looked ten times worse on him than on her. She swallowed and went with the first thing that came to her mind. "Why do you do it?"

    Draco scoffed, and looked at her. "My father has been beating me since I was little. Cutting seems to take my mind off of the other things," he said, loosening his tie and pulling down the collar of his dress shirt to reveal bruises.

    One large one, which Katie wondered what could have caused that, but than Draco turned his head. He had four matching ones on the other side. Together, they made a handprint and Katie shuddered.

    "That was Christmas. I said the wrong thing, he picked me up by my neck and cut off my air supply. I didn't struggle, because, well, he probably would have throttled me completely. But, they're starting to itch, which means they're healing. Won't be long until they just disappear," he said as if he were used to it.

    But then, Katie supposed he was. He didn't have to ask why she had done it. The whole of Slytherin knew of her parent predicament.

    "I'm not going to ask you," Draco continued, "Between those parents of yours and the company you keep, I understand completely."

    They sat in silence for many minutes before Katie decided to speak.

    "Don't you ever just want to fight back?" she asked softly.

    He looked at her seriously. "Of course I do. But if I did, I can tell you right now that I wouldn't be here right now. He'd have already killed me."

    "What about your mum?"

    "What about her," Draco said, anger bubbling beneath the surface.

    "Doesn't she stand up for you? I mean, you're her child," Katie said indignantly.

    "Please Bell, are you so naïve? He hits her too," Draco said, and Katie heard his voice crack.

    Katie assessed that his mother was a tender subject for him. Katie looked out over the lake, not pressing any further on the issue. This was a very broken child sitting beside her. She didn't even glance at him until she heard it. Draco Malfoy was breaking down right beside her. She looked over and saw him, head in hands sobbing. Her brain was working on auto-pilot at that point, and she placed her right arm around his shoulders and pulled him slightly closer to her. He closed the gap willingly and rested his head against her shoulder.

    "Hey, its alright," she said, feeling him shake his head 'No' against her, "Yeah it is. Listen, he can't hurt you forever. When you graduate, you can move far away, and he won't be able to find you. He won't be able to hurt you. Everything's going to be alright," she said, as he threw his right arm around her neck and proceeded to hug her.

    The oddness of this sight was clearly for the record books. But it somehow felt like the right thing for her to be doing. Her problems seemed so miniscule compared to Draco's. And she knew that no one in his House would be willing to listen to him or hold him when he needs to cry. So Katie, deciding to be motherly to a Malfoy, rocked Draco lightly, trying to calm him. She stroked his hair and tried to comfort him.

    "I can't imagine what it must be like for you, but I can promise you that things will get better. They just have too," she said, more to herself than anyone.

    Draco's breathing was slowly returning back to normal. In doing such, he was hiccoughing quite a bit. Katie rubbed his back gently and was amazed at the irony. She had gone from being comforted to being the comforter. She was just happy that Draco hadn't pushed her off the rock yet.

    Draco finally looked up at her, eyes bloodshot and his cheeks red-tinged. Katie brushed a stray piece of hair back off of his forehead and smiled at him.

    "Feel any better?"

    Draco took a deep breath and nodded. "Yeah, thanks, Bell."

    "Don't mention it. Are you going to be ok?"

    Draco nodded and stood. Katie followed his lead and they climbed off the rock. Once on solid ground, Katie cursed again at how short she was. She was eye to eye with Draco. Before she knew it, Draco was hugging her. Tightly. When she hugged him tightly back, he muttered something.

    "What?" Katie said softly.

    "Thanks for not making fun of me," he said, burying his head in her shoulder as they hugged, "Most people would have taken advantage of that."

    Katie pulled out of the hug and smiled at him. "Not me."

    Draco smiled and Katie realized how foreign that expression looked on his face..

    "Well, thanks anyway. I appreciate it. Just, ya know, don't go around telling everybody about this."

    "Not like they'd believe me anyway," Katie said jokingly.

    Draco shrugged. "Yeah, I guess. Well, see ya around," he said turning to walk up towards the castle.

    "Yeah, see ya."

    Katie watched him to make sure he got up to the castle and then sat on her rock, waiting for her teammates to decide to return up to the castle.