I Only Wanted

A/N : Hey, she's awake! Wait, not a good thing. Ok. This chapter is going to delve back into Katie's P.O.V for the most part. Oliver's too. And we may see some lyrics in the chapter. Sorry there were none last time. I wrote chapter 15 in a rush. Ok, not much else to say. Thanks to everyone who's been reading this story and everyone who's been reviewing. I really appreciate all the kind words and all the questions from andrea3382. J j/k, hun.

I couldn't find any inspiration to write Angry!Katie. So deal with RepressingAnger!Katie for now.

P.S. Two *'s is going to indicate song lyrics. Before and after the lyrics. Now, since my computer is being lovely to me now, we have italics! And in .doc formatting. *does a happy dance* I haven't been able to convert properly in ages. Ok. GO READ!

****

Katie didn't listen to McGonagall and ended up feeling a great deal of pain in her arms as she placed pressure on them. She looked down at her forearms and saw them bandaged up.

"Oh, bloody hell!" she said angrily.

"Mind your language, Miss. Bell," McGonagall said reappearing behind the curtain with Dumbledore.

'Just wonderful,' Katie thought, 'Dumbledore's going to send me to St. Mungo's for the rest of my life.'

Dumbledore smiled kindly at her. "How are we feeling, Miss. Bell?"

"Want an honest answer?" Katie said crossing her arms across her chest.

Dumbledore held up a hand, laughing. "No, that's quite alright. I expect you're a little angry right now."

"A little," Katie muttered, looking down at her bandages angrily.

Dumbledore took a seat in the chair beside Katie's bed. She looked at the older man with venom. But this didn't seem to phase him and she slumped back defeated.

"Miss. Bell, I must admit, you gave us all quite a scare."

McGonagall nodded in agreement at the end of Katie's bed. "I thought we were going to lose you."

Katie huffed and glared up at her Head of House. "So I failed."

McGonagall looked at Katie angrily. "Miss. Bell, I understand you may be angry, but you will show me respect."

Katie rolled her eyes. "So I failed, ma'am?"

McGonagall pursed her lips and walked outside of the curtain. Katie smiled victoriously and looked over at her bedside table. Her gaze softened and she reached out and grabbed the bear that sat there, watching her.

"Mikey," she whispered, sitting the small bear on her lap and smiling down at it.

"Miss. Spinnet brought that up after Mr. Wood carried you up here," Dumbledore said softly from beside her.

"Alicia did? Oliver carried me up here? Hold on- What?" she said giving the man a look as if he had an extra head sprouting out of his neck.

"You may not want to believe it, but they were very worried about you. They were all up here earlier. Let me see, Mr. Wood, Messrs. Fred, George, Percy and Ron Weasley, Mr. Potter, Mr. Jordan, Miss. Spinnet, Miss. Wheeler, Miss. Granger, Miss. Johnson, and Miss. Clearwater were all here," Dumbledore said, and upon hearing the door to the Hospital Wing open, got up to peek around the curtain, "And now Mr. Diggory is here."

Katie flushed with an onslaught of embarrassment. She didn't want Cedric to see her like this. But as he walked around the curtain and walked over to sit on her bed, she couldn't very well make him leave.

"I'll leave you to visit in private," Dumbledore said, disappearing behind the curtain shielding Katie's bed.

Cedric just stared at her, as if trying to really see her, before speaking. "Why, Kate?"

Katie could see tears glistening in the older boys eyes. She quickly look down at her bear before she began crying too.

"I already explained to Mikey that its me and not anyone else's fault," she said, trying to lighten the tension filling the air.

Cedric suddenly enveloped her in a tight embrace. Katie awkwardly hugged him back. When he pulled away, he was looking into her eyes again.

"I knew, and I didn't know what to do. I'm so sorry I couldn't help you, Kate," he said wiping at a tear that slid down Katie's cheek.

"It's ok. I would've gotten mad at you anyway," she said swatting his hand away.

He laughed and gave her a smile. "I know. But I still should have said something."

"You did. You told me the light was gone from my eyes. I never knew there was a light there," Katie said, looking down at Mikey again.

"There was, and if I have anything to say about it, there will be again. I just want to see you happy, Kate. You deserve to be happy."

**

- Something your eyes never told me

But it's only now too plan to see

A brilliant disguise -

- But would you believe

There's a light in your eyes

That I used to see -

- There's a light in your eyes

Did you leave that light burning for me? -

Blessed Union of Souls - "Light in Your Eyes"

**

"But I am sometimes," Katie said hugging Mikey tight against her chest, "Like when I'm tutoring you, I'm happy. When I help Professor Snape with advanced potions, I'm happy. Talking with Professor Lupin, I'm happy. But then I go back to Gryffindor Tower and I surrounded by people who don't understand me anymore," she said, tears flowing freely down her cheeks now.

Cedric wiped them away the best he could and tried to catch her eye. "They looked like a part of them had died this morning. I heard that Fred's in denial. That he doesn't believe you meant it. But I know you did, didn't you?"

Katie nodded and let out a sob. Cedric encircled his arms around her again and hugged her tightly as she cried. He gently rubbed circles on her back and tried to talk to her.

"It's alright. I'm going to help you. Everything's going to be alright."

**

- And I, remember when you said

"Everything's gonna be alright" -

Good Charlotte - "Seasons"

**

Katie clung to him, desperately wanting to believe and trust him. She pulled away, wiping at her face.

"I mean it, Kate. I want to help you. You just tell what to do and I'll do it. Well, I have my boundaries, but...." he said, trailing off causing Katie to laugh and give him a genuine smile, "That's what I like to see," he said placing a hand on her cheek and brushing a stray tear away.

"Do you have anywhere to be?" Katie asked sniffling.

"Nope."

"Can you stay a while?"

"Sure," Cedric said smiling.

"Thanks, I don't want to be here by myself," Katie said smiling at him.

**

- And all I know is that I'm happy to see you smile,

(I wanna see you smile),

And it'd make my day if you just stay here a while,

(Would you stay with me?) -

Good Charlotte - "I Don't Wanna Stop"

**

*

Oliver walked along the corridors of Hogwarts, lost in thought. He just let his feet do the walking, and he wasn't surprised at where he ended up. He looked up at the doors to the Hospital Wing and ran a hand through his hair, debating on whether or not to go in. His head was saying no, that he should keep walking, but his heart was aching to see if Katie was awake yet. His heart won and he pushed open the door to the Hospital Wing. The sound that met his ears was like a silent prayer answered. Katie's laughter. He took a step towards the sound and then stopped. He highly doubted that Katie would even want to see him. He took a deep breath, thought a silent prayer to the God of Protection Against a Woman's Wrath (if it even existed, and if it didn't it should), and strode toward the curtain surrounding Katie's bed. He pushed the curtain aside slowly and took in the sight of Katie and Cedric, laughing.

He cleared his throat and Katie looked at him, her expression going from happiness to one of loathing. Oliver swallowed the large lump in his throat and stepped inside the curtain. Cedric shot him a glance of sympathy as he attempted to speak.

"Katie, I-"

"Go away," she said harshly, "No one asked you to bring me here. Why couldn't you have left me to die? That's what I wanted. I locked the door for a reason."

"Because I didn't want you to die, Kate. That's why. And no, I'm not leaving. My feet brought me here and I'm not leaving until you let me talk to you. I've got a lot to say," Oliver said in a rush, sitting in the vacant chair by Katie's bedside.

Katie crossed her arms over her chest and looked at him angrily. "Fine, what?"

Oliver took a deep breath before speaking. "I know a lot of this is my fault. I yelled at you and made you angry at me and," he paused, sighing, "I am so sorry, Kate. I put a distance between us. And all because I was being selfish and didn't want to share you," he said running a hand through his hair, "I didn't want to lose you to Cedric."

Cedric's brow furrowed from across the bed. "Lose her?"

Oliver ignored him and looked to Katie, who was looking at him oddly. "I missed you after that fight and I didn't know how to make it better. And then you stopped talking to all of us, and it scared me. I just didn't know what to do," he said his voice cracking, "I just had to find you and tell you that. I was going to do it today anyway, but under different circumstances."

**

- Come up to meet you,

Tell you I'm sorry,

You don't know how lovely you are.

I had to find you,

Tell you I need you,

Tell you I set you apart.

So tell me your secrets,

And ask me your questions,

And oh, lets go back to the start.

Running in circles,

Coming up tails,

Heads on a science apart. -

Coldplay - "The Scientist"

**

*

"Oliver, I wanted to die. And it had nothing to do with you," Katie said, letting the lie flow seamlessly, but Oliver wasn't buying it.

He shook his head. "I know it did. I didn't appreciate you, Kate. You told me so. And when you don't appreciate people, you lose them. My mom told me that over the Christmas Holiday. And I thought about how different things would be is I lost you and I didn't like what I saw. You're one of my best friends, and I don't tell you that enough."

Katie began to have flashes of some fun times she had had with Oliver. And it made her heart hurt, because he had no idea how much she had fallen in love with him. And now he was with Paris. She frowned at that thought and looked at Oliver with a hurt expression in her eyes.

"I want to forgive you. But I just can't right now, ok?" she said, tears welling in her eyes.

She felt hurt and betrayed. How could he say all these things and lead her on. He had not a clue how she felt about him and it would only hurt her more in the long run. Oliver looked up at her, his own face showing his hurt. But he covered it up with a sad smile.

"I can wait. I'll wait as long as it takes. I'm going to go and tell the others that your awake. I'll try and get them to visit you in small groups, ok?"

Katie gave him her own sad smile. "Yeah, thanks Ol."

He nodded and with a small nod to Cedric, he left.

*

**

- Nobody said it was easy,

Oh, its such a shame for us to part.

Nobody said it was easy,

No one ever said it would be so hard.

I'm going back to the start. -

Coldplay - "The Scientist"

**

As he left the Hospital Wing, he sighed deeply. He knew everything wasn't going to change overnight, but he had hoped she would have at least given him a chance. But he would wait. 'Of course I'll wait,' he thought as he approached Gryffindor Tower, 'I can't not have her in my life.'

**

- But on and on,

From the moment I wake,

To the moment I sleep,

I'll be there by your side,

Don't you try and stop me.

I'll be waiting in line,

Just to see if you can. -

- Oh, I'll always be waiting for you. -

Coldplay - "Shiver"

**

He entered the common room and everyone sitting there, looked at him expectantly. He nodded and smiles filled the room.

"She's awake, but I promised that you guys wouldn't bombard her room. I think three at a time is alright though," he said smiling sadly, and walking toward the dormitories, intent on thinking about how to get Katie to accept him again.

They had been so close at the beginning of the year and then drifted from there. He opened the door to his dorm and then stopped. He looked over to the door across from his. He went over to it and knocked lightly before entering.

"Hey, Perce," he said softly, gaining the boy's attention, "She's awake if you want to go see her."

Percy's eyes brightened and he sighed in relief. "Alright, thanks for telling me."

Oliver nodded and left the room to retreat into his own.

*

Katie looked at Cedric after Oliver had left the Wing, with a look of half amusement and half apprehension on her face.

"What did it sound like he was saying to you?" she asked, almost laughing.

Cedric smiled. "I think he's getting it. Maybe once you forgive him and spend some time with him again, he'll figure it out. It seems like he needs you as much as you need him."

Katie crossed her arms across his chest and frowned. "I don't need him. Besides, he has Paris. He can go need her. Why does he care if I'm around?"

Cedric looked at her seriously. "I'll tell you something I've figured out. Having a girlfriend is not the end-all be-all of human existence for a guy. Especially a guy like Oliver. A girlfriend can only serve so many functions. He has to impress her, and say all the right things. But with you, he can be himself. He doesn't have to put on a show for, because you know him. I think I'm right in saying that you know him better than any of his friends," Cedric said, smiling at the realization on Katie's face, "And so, you have the girl hyphen friend."

Katie laughed and looked at Cedric as if he were mad. "A girl hyphen friend? That's hysterical."

"What? Its harder for a guy to say 'This is my girlfriend' and mean it in a platonic way. With the hyphen stated, you know that she is a girl who's a friend and that they're not in a relationship."

"I understand that, but its still funny, Cedric," she said, trying to ease over the hurt look on his face at her misunderstanding.

His face brightened a little and Katie had to hug him. Cedric was the only person who could make her smile anymore and she was starting to wonder if what she had done was right. When she pulled away, she smiled at him.

"When ever I feel bad, I'm just going to think of that," she said and watched as he laughed, "So, am I a girl hyphen friend of yours?"

Cedric grinned. "I'm proud to say that you are."

Katie was about to say something when the curtain was pulled back to reveal Percy Weasley. He looked pale and weak to Katie and that worried her. She looked over at Cedric and he nodded in understanding. He gave her one last hug and left the Hospital Wing. Katie sat up a little better and patted the space beside her. Percy walked over tentatively.

"Are you alright, Perce?"

Percy sat himself on the edge of the bed and shook his head. He took a deep breath before speaking.

"Why? What did I do wrong that made you do this? I tried to help you, Kate. We had talks. Didn't that mean anything?" Percy said, his voice cracking.

"Percy, I didn't do this to hurt anyone's feelings-"

"Well you did!" Percy said standing, "You hurt me. When I saw you, lying there, blood everywhere, my heart broke. I thought I was going to die."

Katie started crying out of frustration. "This has nothing to do with you, Percy. Nobody understands me anymore. I expected you, of all people, to understand why I did this!" she said in a defensive tone.

"I do know, Katie! I do. But I expected you to come to me and I could help you. We could work through it. Think rationally, Katie. What good did it do?" Percy said angrily, still standing.

"Don't you do this to me. I am not going to explain my actions to you! You know exactly what it feels like to be lost. To not know where you belong. To only have that one person who really gets you! Why make me say it when you bloody know!" Katie said pointing her finger at him, before dissolving into tears, "Don't make me lose you, Perce."

Percy sat on the edge of the bed and pulled her to him in a tight embrace. "I am always going to be here for you. No matter what. We're both hurt, you know that as well as I do. Don't leave me, Kate," he said, kissing the top of her head lightly.

Katie nodded against his shoulder and sniffed loudly. "I'm sorry I hurt you Percy, but the pain was too much for me. I couldn't-"

"Shhhh, I know," Percy said, rocking them both slightly and Katie could tell by his uneven breathing that he was trying not to cry.

"Just cry, Perce," Katie said, pulling out of the comfortable hug, to look into Percy's hazel eyes, "I don't want you bottling up your feelings."

Percy shook his head slightly and a tear fell onto his cheek. Katie wiped it away and tried to catch Percy's eye again.

"It's alright, Perce," she said softly.

He looked up and into her eyes. "I tried, Kate. I tried so hard to make sure this would never happen to you. I protected you as best I could. And I failed," he said taking off his glasses and pinching the bridge of his nose.

Katie grabbed him into a hug and held him as he began to cry. "You didn't fail me Perce, I failed me. I wasn't strong enough to handle everything. It's not your fault. You can't protect me from the world. No one can."

She felt Percy place his arms around her, and she started to cry a little again. Katie looked down at him.

"I didn't think anyone would notice if I was gone," Katie muttered, more to herself than anything, as she stroked Percy's hair.

Once he had gotten his emotions out of his system, he pulled away from Katie and looked up at her.

"Promise me, that you will never do this again," he said, placing his glasses back on, "And you come to me if anything is ever wrong with you."

"I promise," she said, smiling slightly, "Love you."

Percy smiled. "Love you too, Kate"

Katie smiled at the memory that entered her mind. She and Percy never used 'I love you'. It was too odd. So they agreed on 'Love you'. It means just as much, but it was a lot more casual, and that suited their friendship fine. 'Besides,' Katie thought, 'Penelope would kill me if she caught me saying 'I love you' to her boyfriend.'

**

- Won't you let me catch your fall?

Won't you let me lend a hand?

Those lonely eyes have seen it all -

- You wouldn't know that I was there,

Cause I have been there all the time -

- Cause you've got so much to give,

But you throw it all away.

And all you've got to show for who you are is pain. -

- I'm gonna take the time to show you I'm a friend -

- And when your whole damn world is crashing down -

- I wanna be there when the nights are long

And when you're feeling like you don't belong -

- Gonna be there your friend,

Gonna be there till the end -

Blessed Union of Souls - "I Wanna Be There"

**