I Loved You More

Chapter #23

A Tone of Warning

Delighted to feel the first hint of spring in the warm breezy air, Lily stepped outside and started down the damp hill. She breathed in deeply, wanting to taste the sweet promise of flowers and sunshine. She looked happily at James, walking next to her with his treasured Cleansweep over his shoulder and his face tilted into the gentle wind.

They were off for another few hours of flying. It was something they had been at for nearly a month, after the long study sessions they crammed in before and after dinner with Summer, Tara, Di, and the other Marauders in the common room every evening. After, Lily and James would head down to the Quidditch pitch with their broomsticks.

Lily was preparing diligently for the approaching O.W.L. exams and as always, had a very organized study schedule. James, on the other hand, had never studied for an exam in his life. That had changed as soon as Lily found out. She coaxed and scolded him into working and carefully oversaw all the homework he was slowly adjusting to do with her around. She had yet to convince Sirius to pick up a book.

"These are your O.W.L. exams, Sirius! You can't just ignore them. And look at the good marks James has been getting!" Lily persisted.

"How hard can they be? All the fuss they make about them...load of rubbish. I've passed all my other exams without studying," Sirius said stubbornly. "And as for James, you're turning him into a monster! Soon we'll have another Remus on our hands. No...You keep away from me."

Besides the ongoing struggle with Sirius, Lily was having an unusually easy time at dealing with all the work she had to do. She no longer felt the desperation for an escape or the overwhelming desire to give up. Flying each night with James cleared her mind of stress, relaxing her. A fresh new energy stirred in her every morning and her old fiery passion was restored.

Since the day Lily had severed her connection with Clive Pritchard, something had changed. She felt free to smile, scream, laugh, and even cry whenever she wanted to. Celebrating her new liberation with James during that night of flying had flicked on a light in her brain. Upon reflecting, Lily saw that although James had pushed for the riddance of Clive, he had let her make the decision for herself, somehow knowing it was what she needed. James was wiser than he seemed to be.

Lily and James entered the pitch where the tips of the grass were stretching hopefully up toward the sun. They mounted their brooms and kicked off.

Lily spun upward and soared around the edge of the field, looping around each goalpost. She looked around for James and saw him coming up from behind her. He dodged her narrowly and continued down the pitch. Lily was surprised when he didn't stop and flew straight over the stands.

"Where are you going?" she called.

James dipped around to face her. "Come on! Aren't you bored of the pitch?"

Lily joined him readily. Surpassing him, she directed her broom toward the lake. She descended slowly, brushing her toes along the smooth surface.

She pulled upward and whirled around suddenly. "Let's race!" A thumping excitement was beating in her veins. Lily looked at James, who was flipping around the branches of a large beech tree that stood on the bank.

"You sure you're up for that, Evans?"

"I am if you are!" said Lily daringly, doing a little somersault in the air.

James stopped his flipping and sailed closer to where she hovered over the water, the thrill of a challenge glowing in his eyes.

"Around the edge of the lake and the edge of the forest...We'll start at Hagrid's house and the first one around wins," said Lily, gesturing toward the hut.

"All right," replied James, leading the way. When they were floating over Hagrid's roof, he paused. "Hey, Evans...d'you want to make this interesting?"

Lily squinted at him as he smirked.

"If I win, you go out with me," he said.

Lily laughed sarcastically. "I don't think so, Potter. I you win, I'll do your Charms essay for you--"

"Ha! I already did it!" countered James triumphantly.

"You did not. I tried to get you to do it tonight and you wouldn't," corrected Lily, smugly. James looked as though he were about to argue but Lily cut him off. "And if I win, I--"

"Get to go out with me?"

"Potter," said Lily warningly.

"What?"

"Potter," she repeated simply.

"If I win, you come to Hogsmeade with me," said James grudgingly. "That's fair!"

"Fine. And if I win, you have to stop asking me out," declared Lily.

James looked genuinely startled. "Forever?"

Lily considered for a moment. "Till the end of term."

"Evans," said James, mimicking Lily's tone of warning.

Lily couldn't help but grin. "Okay. You can't ask me out for two weeks. Now can we get moving already? I don't want to be here all night."

"Ready when you are."

Lily pulled herself up to James's level and bent slightly over her broom. "All right....Ready...set...GO!"

They set off, ascending into the air to skim the branches of the trees along the edge of the forest. James's broom had better acceleration and he sped off ahead of Lily at first. She ducked low and was soon neck and neck with him. Out of the corner of her eye, she saw James grinning at her. Lily smirked and urged her broom to go faster. As she did so, she swerved in front of him, deliberately cutting him off.

"Oy!" she heard James cry in surprise.

Lily laughed loudly as she curved around the north corner of the grounds.

"So that's how you want to do it!" yelled James.

Suddenly Lily was spun around forcefully. She saw James flash by, having rammed into the tail of her broom. Lily struggled to regain control. When she was facing the right direction again James was several yards ahead. She rose high above the treetops as they rounded another corner.

"Come on," muttered Lily, willing her broom to speed up.

She kept her eyes on James. His hair was whipping about rapidly. He glanced back briefly with a smile on his face.

Lily bowed low against her broomstick, tightening her hold on it. She was gradually advancing on him as they soared around the side of the Quidditch pitch. Beyond it was the lake, glistening brightly in the light of the dying sun.

"Looks like you're coming to Hogsmeade!" bellowed James, with laughter in his voice.

But Lily was now right behind him. They veered around the edge of the lake. Hagrid's hut was in sight. Lily moved up right next to James, saw him staring unwaveringly at the little house.

They turned around a final bend, moving steadily faster. Lily furtively inched closer to James and suddenly hurled herself into him. He rolled over the handle of his broom and Lily threw him a fleeting smile before shooting away, coming to a halt after passing over Hagrid's roof.

She swiveled around and saw James recovering from her shove. Lily let out a long, whooping cheer and began to laugh, loud and jubilantly. She flew back toward the lake and began circling James.

"HA HA! Didn't see that coming, did you, Potter?!" she shouted, punching the air victoriously. "Look who beat the famous Quidditch star!"

"That's no common accomplishment, mind you, so go ahead and have your little celebration," said James.

Lily ignored him and mouthed, "I beat you!" because she was too breathless with laughter to speak.

James scoffed and waved his hand haughtily.

Lily flew up and around the perimeter of the lake, singing at the top of her lungs, "I beat James Potter! I beat James Potter!"

When she finished her victory lap, she returned to James in the middle of the lake, still singing.

"Okay, enough's enough!" snapped James finally, though he was restraining a grin.

"I BEAT JAMES POTTER!" shrieked Lily, leaning into his face.

James swiftly lunged at her, and Lily, caught off guard, toppled off her broom and landed with a large splash in the lake.

Lily sunk under, then bobbed up again, gasping with the shock of the ice cold water.

"Potter!" She glared up at James, who was laughing heartily.

Lily grinned when she saw his foot dangling unsuspectingly a few feet over her head. She reached up and yanked it down. In mid-laugh, James slid off the side of his broomstick and fell headlong into the water.

His head popped up through the surface and he gaped at her speechlessly for a moment, his glasses sitting crookedly on his nose.

"What?" snapped Lily, splashing James in response to the look on his face. "Not a very good loser, are you?"

James slammed his fist playfully into the water, spraying fat droplets in Lily's eyes. "Well, it is my first time..."

The next few minutes were a mess of splashes and a great deal of wild arm waving. Their shrieks and yells echoed across the lake. Lily strained her legs to stay above the water, though the cold was quickly numbing them.

"S-stop..." she panted at last through her chattering teeth. "Let's...g-get out."

James nodded and lifted his arm. His broom lowered into his hand and he pulled himself out of the water, swinging his leg over the handle. Lily stretched her arm out and caught her own broom before mounting it, trembling. Her robes sagged heavily.

They flew right up to the oak doors of the castle, the wind chilling their wet skin. Lily wished they had their wands to perform a drying spell. Her hands could hardly steer her broom, they were shaking so violently.

Lily and James hopped off their brooms and hurried into the castle, their bodies quivering from head to toe. They dashed up the staircase, leaving a trail of water on the marble steps.

"We b-better not r-run int-to Filch," said James as they hurtled along a corridor, rushing in their eagerness to reach the warmth of the Gryffindor common room fire. Part of his hair was smoothed down on his head in odd directions while the rest was standing on end.

Lily let out a nervous laugh.

They leapt up another staircase and started down the corridor at the top. They were almost at the end when they heard a door close behind them and a surprised voice call their names.

"Potter? Evans? What on earth are you doing?"

Lily and James skidded to a halt and turned around slowly. Professor McGonagall was standing outside her office door, staring at them with an extra-severe look on her face as she took in their sopping robes which clung to their skin and their flushed cheeks.

Lily shot a worried look toward James. He appeared to be quite calm, however.

"We fell in the lake, Professor," he said evenly.

"And how did you manage that?" asked McGonagall skeptically.

"We were flying," replied James, in a tone laced with sincerity. "It's really windy out, Professor."

"Is that so? The wind knocked you both right off your brooms, Mr. Potter?"

"That's right," said James placidly.

"Is this true, Ms. Evans?"

Lily nodded.

She was amazed when she saw McGonagall shake her head in an amused sort of way. "Maybe you should restrict yourselves to the pitch from now on, then," said the professor sternly. "And stay on the ground when it is particularly windy out. Now move along to the Gryffindor Tower and dry yourselves off."

"We're on our way, Professor!" called James with a cheerful wave as he and Lily turned to continue down the corridor.

He began to snigger once they had rounded the corner.

"Oh, come on," said Lily impatiently, grabbing a handful of James's robes and dragging him along.

They made it, trembling and soaked to the bone, to the Fat Lady's portrait without any further delays. They scrambled into the common room and rushed gratefully to the fireplace.

"Where have you two been?" demanded Sirius from where he was stretched out in an armchair. He looked them over with a grin. Remus was also staring at them curiously. "Swimming?"

James cast an amused glance at Lily. "Something like that," he answered nonchalantly. "Do you have your wand?"

Sirius tossed James his wand. James caught it and pointed it at Lily. A jet of steam hissed out of the end and Lily felt a pleasantly warm sensation as her robes dried completely. Then he did the same for himself before handing it back to Sirius.

Faintly surprised by James's thoughtfulness, Lily settled into the couch next to Remus, who had been immersed in writing his History of Magic essay. He glanced up at James with a look that was strikingly similar to Professor McGonagall's.

"Isn't it a bit cold to go swimming?" he inquired.

"James pushed me in the lake!" explained Lily reproachfully.

James smiled and threw himself down next to Lily.

"You pushed her in the lake? Couldn't handle another rejection, Prongs?" asked Sirius, roaring with laughter.

"No! He was angry because I beat Captain James Potter in a race around the grounds!" giggled Lily. She inched closer to the fire for strong prickles of cold were still shooting through her body.

Sirius laughed even harder at this. James leaned his head against the back of the couch and rubbed his face with his hands.

"No way!" he cried in disbelief. "You let her win, didn't you? Oh, Prongs! I know you like her but you've got your own pride to think about!"

"He did not let me win," said Lily firmly.

"I could still beat you, Evans. I was miles ahead of you till you knocked me off my broom," said James.

Lily rolled her eyes, smiling.

"So you pushed her in the lake?" asked Remus, smirking. "Then how come you're all wet, Prongs?"

Lily chuckled delightedly and James had scrunched up his eyebrows in a painful way as though bracing for the worst.

"I pulled him in," Lily declared proudly.

"Poor bloke." Sirius groaned sympathetically for James. "You're slowly destroying my best mate, Evans. Studying...losing a flying race..."

"It's good for him," replied Lily, grinning at James.

"I don't know about that," He sighed and as Lily shivered again, he moved closer and discreetly wrapped an arm around her shoulders. "My dignity is gradually diminishing."

Lily turned to James sharply with a reproving glare, her eyes wide in warning but he was looking at Remus.

"Dignity?" Remus snorted. "Yours could never diminish; you have way too much."

Lily delicately picked James's hand off her shoulder and ducked underneath his arm. She looked over him at Remus and smiled. "I completely agree with you."

* * *

"You are stark mad, you know that?"

Lily emitted a blissful sigh and turned to Tara with patient interest.

"And why is that?" she asked.

She was curled up on her four-poster, working on homework due the next day for Professor Binns. Tara, as her partner, was supposed to be helping but instead she was sprawled out on her own bed, lazily doodling in the air with a ribbon of tiny pink stars that was streaming from the tip of her wand.

"I just think you're throwing away a perfect chance for happiness," replied Tara, tossing her head, letting the soft candlelight glimmer on the long black strands.

"I am happy," said Lily absently. She flipped through some pages of her History of Magic notes.

"And you couldn't be any happier? Not one bit?" pressed Tara. "Everything is perfect in the land o' Lily?"

"I don't need perfection to be happy, Tara," Lily said vaguely, labeling a date on her timeline.

"Yes, but when the opportunity comes for even more happiness, you should take it. It'd be ungrateful not to," retorted Tara.

"Let me know when that opportunity comes."

Tara didn't speak for awhile and Lily scratched away on the parchment with her quill, believing the conversation to be over.

"I'm letting you know."

Lily lifted her head to look at Tara, who stared intently back having abandoned her aerial squiggles. It took Lily a moment to realize what she meant.

"Tara, out with it. What exactly are you saying?"

"I'm saying James Potter is you opportunity! Stop turning him down and take it already!" explained Tara exasperatedly.

Lily smiled. "I don't want to."

"Why the bloody hell not?" demanded Tara. "It's been over a month since the Pritchard fiasco."

The smile slid from Lily's face. "That doesn't have anything to do with this."

"Yes it does."

"It can't! Because 'this' is nonexistent!" Lily's voice rose as a drop of anger swirled around her temper. "I wish you would just stop talking about it!"

At that moment, the door swung open and Summer and Di flounced in.

"Stop talking about what?" asked Summer perkily, glancing from Lily to Tara.

Lily glowered at Tara but Tara never seemed to notice meaningful looks-- or perhaps she just always chose to ignore them.

"About how Lily should stop turning Potter down," she promptly supplied Summer.

"She can do what she wants," Summer shrugged, bouncing down onto Lily's bed.

"Thank you," said Lily, nodding to Summer. "And what I want is for you to stop imagining romance where there isn't any, Tara. Now please leave me alone so I can finish this up." She bent over her timeline with a dismissive air.

There was an unexpected silence that followed and Lily glanced up again suspiciously. She saw Tara pointing at her and mouthing the words, "stark mad," at Summer.

Lily shook her head in annoyance and pretended she hadn't noticed. She stood up, deciding to move down to the common room to work. She wound her way down the twisting staircase and entered the fire-lit room.

"Hello, James," she said brightly, settling down in her favorite armchair.

James turned his head slowly from where he perched with his legs stretched out on the large windowsill. Behind him, a pinkish glow tinted the dark sky. He gave her a strangely dull look, appearing unusually pensive, in a dazed sort of way.

"What's up?" asked Lily, frowning. "Why are you looking so broody?"

"Just thinking."

Lily tilted her head, leaning it on the back of her chair and fixing her eyes on him attentively. "Care to share?"

James considered, tapping his toe incessantly against the side of the window. He swung his legs off the sill and paused with his hands on his knees, frowning at the floor. He opened his mouth, then quickly closed it again. Suddenly, he turned and replaced his legs under the window.

Lily stood up and moved quietly toward him. "What is it?" she asked gently.

She had a feeling he wasn't about to tell her about some silly prank or and an impressive new Quidditch move. She had never seen James look so nervous.

James opened his mouth again but before he could get a word out, Sirius, Remus, and Peter came bounding through the portrait hole, sniggering about something.

"Prongs, mate!" called Sirius jovially. "You've got to see this! We put charms on the chairs in the staffroom so they'd explode if anyone tried to sit in them and Rynda's in there having a fit! Her bottom's smoking like mad..."

James jumped up, laughing, though Lily thought it sounded rather forced. He began to follow his friends back out of the common room. Some of the other Gryffindors were joining eagerly them as well.

"James..." Lily tried to beckon him back.

He glanced around at her briefly, his old grin back on his face as though it had never left. "Sorry, Evans! Got to go!"

With that, he was ushered through the portrait hole amongst a large crowd of laughing students, leaving Lily standing alone by the window.