Disbelieving in Trees

Disbelieving in Trees
Potter47 Chapter Two
The Breakfast Buffet

Next morning, most of the wedding guests turned up round the same time for the Hotel Corridor's specialty: its breakfast buffet. Luna sat at a window booth that just happened to overlook the car park, and also just happened to be next to the booth of the betrothed couple.

"What are you going to get?" Luna overheard Hermione say from next door.

Ronald sounded perplexed. "It's a buffet--I'll get what looks good."

"But don't you have an idea of what you want to get? I think I'm going to try the omelettes. I've heard the chef is excellent--"

Luna shook her head slightly, and told a passing waitress that she would be having the buffet. The waitress looked at her strangely. Luna stood up to get her food.

Taking a plate--rather warmer than she'd expected--from the stack, Luna stepped into the end of the line.

"Hey!" said the last person in line. "You stepped right into me!"

"Sorry," said Luna. "I was trying to reach the milk cartons."

The last person in line narrowed her eyes at Luna, but did not say anything more. Luna proceeded to take four milk cartons--one of each variation; skim, one per cent, two per cent, whole, and chocolate--and put them on her plate. She realised she would need another plate for her food, and reached back to get one--only to collide with the new last person in line, who happened to be Ronald.

"Oh, hello," said Luna. "Good morning, Ronald. What are you doing here?"

"Getting my food," said Ronald, sounding almost uncomfortable. "You're kind of holding up the line..."

And Luna noticed that she had not been moving, while a gathering crowd had gathered into a crowd behind Ronald.

"Oh," she said, and stepped towards the next tray, a plate in each hand.

They were both silent for a few trays, and then Luna spoke up:

"So, how was your latest argument with Hermione?"

Ron blinked, and Luna wondered if he'd thought he'd heard wrong--or perhaps even imagined that she'd said anything at all. She liked it when people thought she hadn't said anything at all--then they started to act silly. And she could play with them.

"What?" said Ronald.

"I didn't say anything," said Luna.

"Oh--" said Ronald. "I...I thought you did. But I guess not..."

Another tray of silence, and Luna picked up several pieces of bacon.

"So how was it?"

"You did say it!"

"Of course I did--what made you think I didn't?"

Ronald stopped, tried to decipher this, but gave up after a moment. "Which argument do you mean? The one this morning, in the hotel room, or the one a minute ago, at the table?"

"Whichever."

Ronald let out a breath. "Same as ever, I guess. But...don't start saying how she's wrong for me again. You don't know what you're talking about."

"I hadn't planned on it," said Luna, as she came to the end of the buffet table. "Have a nice breakfast."

Luna made her way back to her seat. Before that, however, Hermione had stood up from her seat--just after her argument with Ronald--and made her way to the buffet. The omelettes, to be precise.

Stepping into line at the table designated for omelettes, Hermione picked up a plate and waited patiently. After a few minutes, the chef looked up at her:

"Mushrooms, please, with cheddar," Hermione said, and she was surprised to hear another voice, colder, snarl precisely the same words. Looking up, Hermione saw that she had stepped into line just after Professor Snape.

"Oh, I'm sorry," she said, "I thought it was my turn."

"Of course you did," said Snape coolly. "What else would you say?"

"I--I don't know," said Hermione, and she was silent as Snape's omelette sizzled before them.

"Thank you, again, for coming," said Hermione. "I...I'd thought you would rather do anything than attend a wedding."

"Oh, I would," said Snape, smirking. "But I felt obliged to attend, considering the...circumstances."

"Anyway, thank you," said Hermione, and Snape accepted his omelette from the chef, "it means a lot to us--"

"To you, you mean," said Snape, stepping aside from the line. "I mean nothing to Weasley, and I've worked hard to maintain that level of achievement."

He walked away, and Hermione waited for her omelette in silence.

Back at her table, Luna was pouring her four milks into the four glasses set round the table. She then switched them round and tried to forget which was which.

"Luna?" said a soft, awkward voice, startling her out of her concentration. "Can I sit there?"

Luna looked round and saw that Ronald was peering over the top of the booth. She blinked a few times, and then: "Of course, Ronald. What else would I say?"

Ronald let out a breath and came around to her booth.

"Thanks a million," he said. "I don't want to talk to Hermione right now. She's...upset."

"About what?" said Luna.

Ronald glanced across to the omelette table nervously.

"Hey, Luna," he said. "Do you mind if I sit on that side?"

--because I don't want Hermione to see me here, Luna mentally finished for him. Part of her wanted to refuse, thinking Why shouldn't she see you here? but the rest of her wanted to make Ronald feel better, and if the only way to do that was to sacrifice her seat, then by golly she'd do it.

"Of course." They stood, switched places, and sat back down.

"Thanks again," said Ronald.

"Any time. What were you saying about--"

"Whose milks are these?" said Ronald now, pointing to the four glasses in front of him perplexedly.

"Mine," said Luna. "But you're free to one if you want it--"

"Are they all the same?" he said. "I mean, I know this one's chocolate, but--"

"That's the fun part. You have to guess which one's which."

Ronald looked at them suspiciously, but then simply clasped his hand round the chocolate glass and took a swig.

"Chocolate's fine," he said, and Luna began to pout.

An idea unfurling within her mind, Luna drew her wand--causing Ronald to nearly spill his milk.

"There're Muggles here," he hissed.

"Hermione's rubbing off on you," said Luna contemptuously, once again. "It'll be fun."

"What'll be fun?" he said, but she was already muttering something under her breath.

One of the milks began to light up, though it seemed rather unlikely for a milk to light up.

"That one's whole milk," said Luna, indicating the lit milk. "Keep your eye on the whole."

And now the light faded and Luna began waving her wand in complicated gesticulations--the milks began to dance round the table, switching places with each other, jumping, spinning, Apparating, and every other trick in the book that has never been written about dancing milks. Finally, Luna sliced her wand through the air and the milks came to a stop.

"Now pick one," said Luna. "Try to find the whole."

Ronald blinked.

"No, chocolate's fine," he said again, and Luna gave up--on the milks, of course, because there were other things at the table that she would never give up on--the plates, for instance.

Luna glanced upward suddenly, and wondered why she did it. But she knew a moment later that it was a good thing that she had glanced upward because if she hadn't, she wouldn't have seen what she did see when she glanced upward.

Luna glanced upward suddenly, and noticed Professor Snape standing beside Hermione by the omelettes. He was saying something to her, and he seemed very bitter for some reason. And then he took his omelette from the chef, and walked away...

...but as he did, he glanced backward, for only a fraction of a milli-moment, at Hermione, and his expression altered for that same fraction of a milli-moment--he still seemed bitter, yes, but now Luna could tell what he was bitter about.

Luna's eyes widened, and she spoke, to herself, though of course Ronald thought she was speaking to him: "How did it take me so long to get twenty-two?"

And Ronald looked up at her, quite clearly confuzzled. "Excuse me?" he said.

"Well, I've just finally put two and two together, and--"

Ronald nodded suddenly, as if he'd heard enough, and he went back to hunching over his food in an attempt to appear invisible to Hermione, who was still waiting for her omelette and couldn't see him anyway. He didn't say anything else for a long time.

Luna mulled over her new discovery while she ate her food, and ate her food, and ate her food, not really looking at it while she ate it, until finally she heard the unpleasant scratching of the metal fork on the ceramic plate and that made her shiver and the shiver alerted her to the fact that she had finished her food.

Standing, Luna returned to the end of the buffet line, and the last person in said line shrunk away from her, looking downward. Luna wondered why.

The line moved slowly, and Luna found herself hungrier than she had been before her first trip up--this was part of her theory that if you are very hungry, and eat a little bit of food, it actually makes you hungrier than you would have been if you hadn't eaten anything at all. On second thought, this was her entire theory, not just part of it.

When she reached the bacon, she took several slices and began to nibble on one right there in the line, so hungry was she. She took more of the other foods as well, but didn't eat those in line.

Scrambled eggs? Check. They looked particularly fluffy, and Luna reckoned they'd just replaced the tray.

She scooped a scoop of whipped cream onto her bacon and a groan sounded beside her.

"You don't actually plan to eat that?" said the deep voice, and Luna looked up and saw Professor Snape was just behind her in line.

"What else would I do with it?" she replied, and dipped the bacon slice in her hand into the whipped cream on her plate and took another nibble.

Snape looked like he would be sick, and quickly looked down, away from Luna.

This was the perfect opportunity for Luna to voice her new idea:

"Professor, I have a preposition for you."

"Proposition," corrected Snape in what would have been a hiss if he was a snake but he wasn't a snake so it was a harsh whisper.

"How do you know? I could have had a preposition for you. Inside."

"What was your proposition?" he said, sounding frustrated to the point that he really wanted to go to his seat.

"I know why you're so bitter today."

Snape furrowed his brow. "That's not a proposition. I am always bitter, so you can just--"

"You don't want them together either," said Luna, paying him no heed.

"I don't have the slightest idea what you're talking about," said Snape. "Please leave me alone."

"Of course you know what I'm talking about. I'm talking about Ronald and Hermione Granger. You fancy her."

Snape dropped his plate with a clatter, and blinked rapidly several times.

"I don't have the slightest idea of what you're talking about," he said now, sounding slightly unnerved as he picked up his plate and placed the fallen items back onto it.

"Yes you do. I saw how you looked at her a minute ago. You fancy her."

"That is a highly inappropriate thing to suggest, Miss Lovegood," he said, his voice not quite normal. He took a breath and let it out and moved with the line.

"That doesn't mean it isn't true."

With that, they reached the last tray, and Professor Snape seemed to be in a hurry to return to his seat. Luna nearly went back to her table, but she noticed Ronald standing up out of the corner of her eye, and decided to follow Snape instead--to pursue her preposition.

Proposition.

But she noticed Ronald standing up

, you recall, and he did indeed stand up. After standing, he walked over to the buffet, and joined the line, eager for seconds. He wondered why you had to wait through the whole line just to get to the bacon.

"Where did you disappear to?" said Hermione bitterly, scaring Ronald terribly. He had not noticed that she was the person just in front of him in the line, which was terribly unobservant of him but terribly him just the same.

"Uh, nowhere," he said, unable to think of anything better to say.

"Sure," said Hermione, not sounding very sincere at all. "You know, Ron, if this is how we're going to be all the time, I almost wish I'd never come back."

Ronald supposed that he should have felt rather hurt by that, but he didn't. She had been gone for years--since the end of the war, when she had vanished. Ron never knew where she had been, or how she'd found her way home, but he'd been so relieved to see her again that he'd proposed on the spot (they'd been dating when she vanished, and...yes, well, that was probably the only reason).

This proposal was an event that Ronald had almost regretted many a time since. And then he'd regretted regretting it, because that was a horrible thing to regret. And then a small part of him regretted regretting regretting it, thinking that it had indeed been a mistake--but then the rest of him had regretted regretting regretting regretting it so much more convincingly that the small part hardly dared to mention any words that even sounded like 'regret' to the rest of him for a very long time.

"Sorry, then," said Ronald, but they both knew it wasn't a sorry for their arguments--it was a sorry that meant that there was nothing else to say.

After a few very awkward minutes Hermione left the line, and, being ahead of Ronald, returned to her seat without a backward glance, allowing Ronald to steal back into Luna's booth.

Luna, however, had followed Snape, who seemed rather agitated as he walked. She wondered if he realised she was trailing him...oh, he'd find out soon enough.

It seemed Snape was seated quite a distance from the buffet, somewhere in the deep recesses of the Hotel Corridor's Restaurant & Lounge; so far, in fact, that Luna realised he was actually in the lounge part of the Restaurant & Lounge. This point was solidified when she noticed that there were no tables or booths; instead, there were a great deal of bookshelves and several couches and loveseats. No, she'd been wrong; there were tables, but they were of the coffee variety.

Snape sat on the far side of the Lounge, in a section nearly completely obscured by bookshelves. Glancing at these shelves, Luna saw that the titles were all in French, with no English translation in little letters beneath; how inconsiderate.

He was facing away from her, so he was probably very surprised when she said, "I wasn't finished, you know."

He jumped slightly--ever so slightly, so slightly that it could be called ghtly instead, but that would make it difficult to pronounce.

"Will you leave me alone, Lovegood?" Snape said, and Luna felt that he sounded irritated. She wondered why.

"Of course not. I haven't made my pre--proposition yet."

Snape rolled his eyes to the heavens and then glanced at his watch. "Fine then--hurry up with it."

Luna cleared her throat, wanting to sound as official as possible.

"We must make them jealous."

Snape blinked, and was silent for a moment, as if dumbstruck. And then:

"What in hell are you talking about?"

"We both don't want this wedding to happen, Severus--"

"Professor Snape," he corrected, sounding indignant.

Luna's eyes narrowed ever so slightly, as if saying, "You're not my professor anymore."

"We both don't want this wedding to happen," she said again. "And as such, we must stop this wedding from taking place."

"And how do you suppose we do that?" Snape said.

"Aha!" said Luna. "You are interested."

"I'm just playing along here, Lovegood. Humouring you."

"Right. Well, I suppose we do that by making them jealous, like I said."

"By?"

"Pretending that we're a couple."

Snape blinked several times once again. He was notoriously silent and notoriously snark-free. He glanced down at an empty glass of something and peered at it closely as if inspecting it for poison or something. He then looked back at Luna, and shook his head slightly, eyes narrow.

"You did not just say that. I am imagining this. In just a few moments I will awake and this whole thing will have been a dreadfully annoying dream...."

"No you won't," said Luna. "And yes I did."

Snape laughed then, loud and hard and uncontrollably and Luna looked at him worriedly as he did it; was he going to explode, she wondered? She'd never seen anyone explode before, and this seemed such a terrible time for a first time.

And then he plopped down in his half-eaten mushroom-and-cheddar omelette, unconscious. Luna's eyes widened.

"Severus?" she said, as if inquiring after his consciousness. Deciding he had indeed fainted, Luna stood and pulled him--with great effort--out of his seat. She sort of dragged him along the Restaurant & Lounge then, to the befuddlement of onlookers: "Why is Loony dragging the git along the restaurant? And lounge?"

Finally, she pulled the man past Hermione's table--and Luna's own, with Ronald seated low in the booth. Hermione practically bounced up in her seat at the sight of the Potions Master.

"What happened to him?" Hermione asked, bewildered.

"He fainted," said Luna.

"Yes, I can see that. But why are you dragging him?"

Luna almost said "Because I am going to tell you that the two of us are dating, therefore making you terribly jealous and convincing you to call off the wedding so that true love will not be proved false and Ronald will admit that we're perfect for each other," but instead she simply said, "Well, we're dating, you know, and we were just eating breakfast together and he just fainted, and I was going to bring him up to the room--"

"You're what?" said Ronald and Hermione simultaneously, both wide-eyed and seemingly shell-shocked. Ronald had jumped up and twirled round somehow and was now kneeling on his seat, leaning on the top of the booth.

"Dating," repeated Luna. "Do you need me to speak up a bit?"

Ronald stared at Luna, gaping like a Grindylow out of water. Hermione, however, looked back at Ronald and put her hands on her hips. "So that's where you've been--were you hiding from me?"

Ronald didn't answer--he seemed to have lost the power of articulation after that initial "You're what?", and he simply continued to gape. And when he didn't answer, Hermione turned back to Luna and gaped as well.

Suddenly, Snape's head lolled round and his eyes blinked open--before he could get a word out, Hermione demanded of him:

"You're dating Luna, Professor?" she said, and all three of the others were rather shocked at her tone.

Luna was offended; Hermione said it as though to be dating Luna were to be dating the very lowest order of dust particle.

Ronald was offended for the same reason, though he didn't really know it.

And Snape was rather shocked to hear the slight bit of jealously in Hermione's voice, that bit of 'Why Luna? Why not me?' that she had clearly intended to hide.

And in a moment Snape had considered all possible reactions to all possible replies to her statement. He chose the one he thought would lead to the next greatest reaction, one step further down the line.

"You say that as though to be dating Miss Lovegood were to be dating the very lowest order of dust particle," he said, measuring Hermione's reaction carefully.

She gaped at him a moment before turning to Ronald and physically pulling him over the edge of the booth. He banged his head upon the next table and scrambled to his feet.

"We're leaving," she said, dragging him towards the exit.

"Leaving?" said Ronald. "But I'm still hungry--" He glanced back at Luna with an unaccountable look, and as it would happen, just then an announcement sounded the end of the buffet.

TBC