Endgame

Chapter Four: Finding Light In TheDarkness

'Professor, can we- '

'No.'

'Professor, about this line-'

'I already told you about that five times, how many more times do I have to tell you?'

'Professor, I need to-'

'ENOUGH!' Severus shouted as he closed his eyes and shook his head groaning. 'Enough is enough. We have gone over these things more times than I wish to count. I do not think anyone on this stage is incapable of this, so what is the blasted problem?'

'Pre-opening night jitters, Severus,' Remus said with mild amusement as he now walked on the stage. 'Happens all the time.'

'There's absolutely nothing to be nervous about, Lupin,' Severus muttered, though he did understand what Remus was saying. Truth was he would most likely be the same way come tomorrow night, not that he was going to admit that anyone in the least. 'We've been going over this for the past week, and despite near a month of rehearsing we still have too much to do before tomorrow.'

'And they will all get done, Severus. Time waits for no man, however it does wait for the stage,' Remus grinned.

Severus groaned. 'Spare me the clichés, Lupin. Right now I want to see someone, anyone, that has their scene completely flawless!' he said irritably.

'Ahh...Professor?' a voice said hesitantly.

Turning round Severus settled a long gaze on the boy who'd spoken. 'Yes, Malfoy?' he asked abruptly.

'Potter and I have our scene down pat. We've been putting extra efforts into it actually,' Draco said with a bit of a smug grin on his face.

Severus didn't miss the slight glance Draco sent towards Harry, nor did he miss the odd reddish streak slightly brewing on Harry's neck. 'Very well then, Malfoy, if you and Potter are so confident, then please, be my guest,' he said dryly and waved his hand to the stage.

Draco nodded towards Harry, who nodded back, and they walked onto the stage together. Their scene was short but well played, exactly the way it should be. Severus sighed in relief, at least one thing would go perfectly if nothing else. So far the only other scenes that were flawless were the ones between himself and Remus, everyone else, Black included, were still having issues.

He did however notice that during the interchange between Harry and Draco there was definitely an underlying tension of sorts, though not a bad tension. He wondered if it was possible then than things had gone better than Severus had hoped. He'd deliberately threw Harry and Draco together to rehearse alone, figuring they would either kill each other...or something else would come of it. His mind wandered back over the last few weeks, and he became lost in the memory of the day which had set everything into motion.

'Professor Snape? You wanted to see me?'

'Come in, Potter,' Severus nodded and pointed to a desk. 'Sit.'

Harry nodded and nervously sat down. 'Am I in trouble, sir?'

'That depends. Have you done something to warrant being in trouble?' Severus asked curtly and looked up at the boy sharply.

Harry shook his head. 'I don't think so,' he said, though it was clear he was trying to hide something.

'Potter I am not a stupid man, clearly something is going on with you and-'

'Severus, I'm sorry I'm late but Sirius- ' Remus said walking in now and stopped as he saw Harry. 'Oh...I see. Hello, Harry, Severus giving you trouble?' he said with a slight grin and sat down on top of one of the desks.

'I am merely trying to determine what it is that is bothering the boy so much, Lupin,' Severus scowled.

'Why do you even care, Professor Snape?' Harry said bitterly. 'No one else does, so why should you.'

'Harry,' Remus said quietly and walked over to where Harry was sitting. 'If there's something bothering you, please tell us. I haven't been here all that long but I have seen you in far better spirits. What is going on with you that you're so down? And what's wrong with Ron and Hermione?'

Harry seemed to flinch as his friends' names were mentioned, then turned away with a scowl. 'They're not my friends. If they were they wouldn't have- ' he began to say angrily, then clammed up tightly and looked away.

Remus sighed and put a hand on Harry's shoulder, then asked softly, 'This wouldn't have anything to do with one Charlie Weasley by chance, would it, Harry?'

Harry turned round and looked at Remus in shock, then a blush crept up his face and he turned away with a heavy sigh. 'How...how did you know about that?'

'He owled Sirius this afternoon as it happens,' Remus said then saw the look on Harry's face. 'Now don't get the wrong idea, Harry. I'm sure he did it only because he was worried that you might be feeling very much alone, and need advice. And, to be honest, he was a bit concerned that Ron might try to do something stupid.'

'Considering that neither Ron nor Hermione have said but two words to me since that day at the Burrow, you don't have to worry about him doing anything stupid,' Harry said bitterly. 'Wait...you mean...Sirius knows about this too? Just great...now he'll hate me too!' he wailed and buried his head in his hands.

'Would someone mind clueing me in as to what this is about?' Severus finally asked whilst looking between Remus and Harry.

'Nothing much really. A slight incidence happened this summer at Ron's home apparently and- '

'It wasn't a 'slight incidence', Remus!' Harry said heatedly, cutting him off. 'They caught us in bed whilst we were snogging the hell out of each other. I'd hardly call that 'slight'!'

Severus stared at Harry oddly for a moment, then walked over to him, looking down at the boy with a slightly amused grin. 'Is that all, Mr. Potter?' he said dryly.

'Is that...all...huh? Are you daft, Professor?' Harry said in shock. 'It's bad enough that Voldemort is consistently after me month in and month out...now I'll have the Daily Prophet doing up the front page with 'The Boy-Who-Lived Camp As They Come'!' he groaned.

Remus shook his head sadly. 'I think what Severus is trying to say is that being gay in the Wizarding World isn't that bad a thing, Harry. A good eighth of our world is gay, and probably many more are bi-sexual. And with our world being so small, it's far better than it sounds.'

'They're not 'me' though, are they. They don't have to be splashed across the front page for every little thing,' Harry muttered.

'Are you even positive you do feel that way towards other men, Harry?' Remus asked hesitantly.

Harry sighed and nodded. 'Positive, Remus. I've known it for a while now actually. Since last summer when I spent a month at the Burrow and...I realised I found Charlie...nice,' he blushed. 'I happened to overheard him talking to someone one day and turns out that the man was his lover and...err...well...they were arguing because Charlie had broken it off with him, said that it wasn't working or something. I knew right there and then that I wanted to err...'

'Wanted to what, Harry?' Remus asked softly.

'That ahh...that I wanted to know what it would be like to be kissed...by Charlie. It turned out I got my chance faster than I thought,' Harry said with a fond smile. 'It was only a couple days later that I by accident caught him in the bath. I hadn't even realised he was even in it because I was tired and it was late at night, so I thought everyone else would be asleep. He hadn't even said anything until I was in the water...and then...well it seemed he was interested in me too...and things...began to happen...' he blushed again profusely.

Remus smiled knowingly. 'And young love blossomed,' he chuckled, then turned a bit more serious. 'It's no shame being attracted to the same sex, Harry. You are who you are, and your entitled to your feelings and emotions. Are you still going to keep seeing Charlie?'

Harry shook his head sadly. 'No. After Ron and Hermione caught us like that we both decided to take some time right now and think things over. Charlie's too afraid to tell his parents he's gay, just as much as I am to tell anyone else. In fact, besides Charlie, I don't even know anyone else who's gay.'

Severus snorted at practically the same time as Remus. 'Well obviously you haven't met the right people is all, Potter,' Severus said and cast a side long glance at Remus. 'You want to tell him, Lupin, or should I enlighten him?'

Remus waved his hand towards Severus airily. 'Be my guest. I'd love to see how you handle this one, Severus,' Remus smirked.

Severus rolled his eyes and sniffed. 'Very well then. As it happens, you are in the company of two men who also happen to enjoy the company of other men. Three if you count that good-for-nothing twit Black,' he said with a slight scowl, not even caring what Remus would say on that remark.

'What?' Harry said in disbelief and looked between Remus and Severus. 'Are...are you joshing me? No, not you two!...Are you...really?' he then asked almost hopefully.

Remus smiled and nodded. 'Really and truly, Harry.'

'Lupin and Black have been shacking up for years as it happens,' Severus said rather irritably.

'Severus, I don't think- ' Remus began to say rather sharply.

'Tell it like it is, Lupin,' Severus said with an edge to his voice as he cut him off. 'You obviously prefer the company of that mutt over anyone...else. Oh come on, it's obvious to anyone that you two share a bed. How Potter managed to miss that over the last few years is beyond me.'

'I thought you two were just friends! You could have told me this sooner!' Harry said accusingly as he now looked at Remus.

'Harry, we are friends, what's between Sirius and I is rather complicated,' Remus said noting full well that Severus snorted at that comment. 'It doesn't matter anyway. The problem now is how we can manage to help you in your life, Harry,' he said firmly.

'There's nothing to help,' Harry said dully. 'I've gotten used to being miserable and friendless.'

'You're not friendless, Harry, you have me, and Sirius,' Remus said.

'Yeah, sure, and you two have obviously been very open with me, haven't you,' Harry muttered.

'I'm being open with you now, Harry. I can't go back and change the past, but we can move on from here,' Remus said sincerely.

'Lupin is right,' Severus nodded. 'Even I have not been oblivious to your distress, Potter. As someone who understands what it's like to be friendless, I can easily commiserate with that. I propose a deal, if you would hear me out.'

'A deal?' Harry asked looking up at Severus curiously. 'What sort of deal?'

'If there is any time in which things become too much for you, then, if Lupin is agreeable as well, you can come to either of us,' Severus said and looked at Remus.

Remus was surprised by his words but nodded in agreement. 'Yes, I believe that's a terrific solution, Severus. What do you say, Harry? Now that you know Severus and I understand you, if there's anything you need we'll be there for you when you need us.'

Harry thought that over for a moment. 'Even at night?Or...whenever?' he asked and looked at the two men.

Both of them nodded. 'Whenever you need us, Potter,' Severus said firmly.

'Why you, Professor?' Harry asked looking at Severus curiously. 'You hate me, why help me?'

Severus himself thought that over for a moment, then subconsciously his gaze shifted to Remus, and he found himself almost lost in those still amber eyes. 'Because I know what it's like to be shunned, hated and left alone because of who and what you are. No one should have to suffer for who they are, not even you, Potter. Don't make the same mistakes I did...because loneliness and regret are the worst feelings of all...'

A hand on his arm broke Severus's train of thought, and he turned to look up into a pair of questioning brown eyes. 'Yes, Lupin?'

'You were lost a bit,' Remus said with a soft smile. 'It's late, I've dismissed the students. Would you care to join me for supper, Severus?'

Severus looked round and realised that the theatre was now completely empty, minus the two of them. Turning back to Remus he sighed. 'This will work, won't it, Remus? We're not doing all this in vain are we?' he asked quietly, unawares that he'd even let the other man's first name slip out unconsciously. He really wasn't even thinking of the play itself, but of what he wanted from it, to have Remus back in his arms and bed.

Remus put a comforting hand on Severus's shoulder. He was fully aware of what Severus had said, though he said nothing about it. He somehow got the feeling that Severus was despondent like this for other reasons, and he had a good feeling what they were. 'It will work, if you want it to badly enough, Severus,' he said quietly, content with the fact that Severus hadn't removed his hand immediately, and even seemed to be happy with it there.

*Oh, Remus...you have no idea how desperate I am to have you back with me. I'm so tired...so very tired...of being alone. I pray to whatever Gods there are left that the day will come that I can tell you how much I love you...and that it won't be too late...*

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