Deny Thy Father And Refuse Thy Name

~~Deny Thy Father And Refuse Thy Name....~~

I am slowly reediting this ficby the by, so you might want to check back for updates from time to time. I´ll let you know which chaps have been reedited in the beginning of the chap, I felt it was time to do some revamps, and I see a few places I needed to change things round a bit now that I´m almost done with it to make sense in some other areas. Hence why the rewrites J Enjoy!

~~Chapter One: Midnight Strolls and Puppy Dog Tails~~

Rain. No matter how hard Harry Potter tried to fight it, the rain always seemed to bring out something in him that reeled with emotions. Sadness. Anger. Desperation. Hate. The inability to be able to control the rain only served to remind him of the inability to control his life. A life in which he wished sometimes that like the end of a rainstorm, that it would just go away and not return for hopefully a very long time.

For some people daily living was good enough, to just be able to blend in and not have to worry about where they were headed or who they were. Ordinary everyday human beings. But for him...it was nothing more than a wishful hope that someone like himself could hide from the world. For him it was just a dream, for he could not hide from the world, not from the world he considered home anyway, that being the Wizarding World. No, Harry Potter couldn't just 'disappear' into a non-entity in this world, for a lot of very good reasons.

Reasons that over the last seven years had become a curse rather than a blessing. That had singled him out from the very beginning of his new life, that had brought him friends and enemies alike. Reasons that kept him in a gilded cage on display to all for something he didn't ask for, nor even remember. A wound that for six years had tormented him, and sometimes he felt like it was the only reason he existed at all. One small simple scar had defined his entire life and brought him as much unhappiness as any one thing could. And there wasn't a single soul in the world he could really talk to that would understand that.

Harry sighed as he turned away from the window and glanced round the room, pausing to listen to the now familiar snores coming from one of the beds. This was his room, his dorm at Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry. Six years ago he had come here after discovering who he really was, hope heavy in his heart that he could find a place of his own, long before he really understood what and who he was. Six years ago now he'd found out he was a wizard, and a pretty good one it had turned out after all if he was vain enough to even admit it, which in truth he wasn't.

It had been a heck of a ride in the past six years though he'd have to admit, and he'd made a lot of friends, two best friends even. He found out he'd had a godfather three years ago, even if that person was an escaped convict and to this day still was living life on the run. He had grown to really love and care for Sirius Black though, mainly because he was one of the last links to his parents. The family he'd never known, nor ever would get to know except through pictures and tales.

It hadn't all been roses since he'd gotten to Hogwarts however, not by any means. Every year like clockwork, except in his third year and his seventh year so far since it had just started, his worst nemesis in the world reminded him of why he was so miserable, and what had been taken from him. Why he had been left on his hated Aunt Petunia and Uncle Vernon's doorstep when he was just over a year old, alone and orphaned, and that miserableness came in the form of one Tom Marvolo Riddle, or rather an evil wizard named Lord Voldemort.

As if taking away his parents hadn't been enough, Voldemort was now slowly beginning to take away everything Harry held important, everything that he knew Harry would react to. Cedric Diggory'sdeath in Harry's fourth year had only been the first incident in the chain, and even though Harry hadn't even really known the boy well his death had had a lasting imprint on him. The last three years had only gotten worse, far far worse, and looking round the dorm room was proof of that.

Where five boys should have been sleeping and doing nothing more then having happy dreams of life after Hogwarts, only three including himself remained. Harry again had been in the wrong place at the wrong time and suffered dearly for it, another reminder that Voldemort was going to end things on his terms, and Harry was going to pay for something he didn't even understand. He never had understood why Voldemort had killed his parents, or had wanted him killed so badly, and somehow he had a feeling there was more to his parents' deaths and his first defeat of Voldemort than met the eye. Whatever the case was Voldemort was going to make sure Harry paid for whatever it was, and pay dearly Harry had.

While on a trip to Diagon Alley to get his school supplies in the summer between fourth and fifth year, Harry had meet up with Dean Thomas, one of his Gryffindor dorm mates. The two of them were supposed to be meeting Ron Weasley and Hermione Granger, Harry's two very best friends, but they were late so Harry and Dean stopped to have a peek at the new Quidditch supplies and the latest broom model coming out, the Firebolt 2002. It turned out to be very bad timing however as a group of Death Eaters came out of Knockturn Alley and made a surprise attack on everyone. Before anyone could even react and alert the authorities the Death Eaters were gone, leaving behind more than a few bodies in the process and the sign of the Morsmordre, Voldemort's personal symbol of destruction, high in the air.

Dean had sadly been amongst those bodies. He had gotten hit by the Avada Kedavra, the infamous 'killing curse', while he and Harry had been leaving the shop. Harry had tried to pull Dean back into the shop when he'd realised what was going on outside but it was too late. The moment the door had opened Dean went crashing to the floor, and Harry was left to pick up the pieces. Just like with Cedric, Harry had been powerless to stop a death, only Dean's death had hit him much harder since he was not only a dorm mate, but a good friend on top.

It had taken months before Harry finally recovered from Dean's loss, but even Harry's mixed emotions were no match for what Seamus Finnigan, Dean's best friend, had suffered. Seamus sunk into a state of such depression that by the end of fifth term everyone including the professors were worried for the Irish lad, and it turned out they had been right to worry as they had. When Harry had arrived back at term the following year it was to find out that sometime during the Summer, Seamus had tried to kill himself though thanks to an intervention from Minerva McGonagall, who had surprisingly decided to check up on Seamus herself, he had been saved.

Seamus never really recovered after that however, and his parents had decided not to send him back to Hogwarts again. Harry had wanted to visit him during the past summer but his dratted Uncle Vernon had flat out refused to let him go to Ireland, even if it was with Hermione and Ron, not that Harry was really surprised. In the end Harry sent Seamus a care package via Hedwig, Harry's beloved owl, and the note back from Seamus's mum had been flowery with thanks, so Harry at least had felt good about that. He still sent Seamus care packages and assorted cards and posts when he could, even if it was only Seamus's mum who answered them.

Other things had happened too in the past two years since Voldemort's pronounced return, things that Harry had started to automatically take in stride. Which was wasn't really a good thing since it was clear to his close friends that it left too much room for Harry to think...and even worse...brood over what was going on. But there was far more going on beneath the surface of Harry Potter than even Ron or Hermione could possibly know, things that even Harry himself tried to bury.

One good thing at least was that Remus Lupin, one of his old Defence Against the Dark Arts teachers and good friend out of school had returned to teach DADA. The down side to that was that it had reminded Harry of third year when Remus had last taught at Hogwarts, and had told him things that Harry hadn't wanted to hear at the time, and still didn't. There were other things as well, like his godfather still being on the run, and Harry felt there was also more going on with Sirius than Sirius was telling, not that Harry would dare ask.

Then there was the fact that Remus's return brought back one other memory, one memory that Harry still had nightmares about. It had been the day Harry and his third year DADA class had faced a boggart. He remembered that day like it was yesterday. At the time Remus hadn't let Harry face the boggart with the others present for a reason, but in a later talk it wasn't Voldemort Harry had feared as Remus had suspected, but the Dementors, the dark and evil beings that guarded Azkaban, the wizards' prison. The Dementors made Harry hear his mum's death over and over again, and he feared that most of all, because hearing her voice was a reminder of all he had lost, and how much he feared losing more. These days however Harry knew that if Remus were to put him in a room with a boggart it wouldn't be the Dementors that he would fear. No, he knew that if he were faced with a boggart now...it would be himself he feared the most.

Harry sighed again and got up off the windowsill and walked over to where Ron was sleeping. He thought how lucky Ron was these days, he had so much going for him now then he'd ever had before. Ron and Hermione finally had come to terms with the fact that they liked each other, and for the past year had been on again, off again, though mainly on with each other. By any means those two had a strange romance, but it worked for them, though Harry had been relieved when they finally had gotten together even with the strangeness.

Anyone else might have felt like a third wheel if two of their best friends started dating, but Harry didn't feel that way by any means. If anything it gave him more time to be alone, something he really needed right at this point in his life, maybe more than anything. Not that he admitted that to Ron or Hermione, he never would because that would give them cause to worry for Harry, and that was another thing Harry really didn't need right now.

No, he was content with the way things were truth be told, and didn't regret for a moment that it had been Ron that Hermione had ended up with. For a month after coming back after that fourth year summer Harry had half a mind that Hermione had liked him instead, and on his part anyway that had been more than awkward. He truly liked Hermione, but never would in that particular way, she was like a sister to him as much as Ron was a brother.

During that same summer he had also gotten over his 'crush' on Cho Chang, after realising that she was completely out of his reach. Cedric's death had been too terrible a thing to them both and it was all too clear how badly his death upset her. He didn't think she blamed him for Cedric's death, but he blamed himself and that had been enough to deter any more feelings he'd had for Cho. The summer between fifth and sixth years however he had other reasons for giving up dating, but that was yet another part of his life that he had no choice but to bury deep within him, and not even Sirius would nor could he talk to on that issue.

The outside clock was now striking midnight, and Harry glanced once more at his redheaded friend before making his plans. They had only been back at school a few weeks now, the weather was still warm yet and that gave Harry the perfect opportunity he needed to really have his time to himself. Not that he couldn't be alone during the normal waking hours of the school day, but the nights were slowly becoming his sanctuary. The one time in which he could really and truly be free to think and reflect without distractions or questions. Something that in the past few weeks he had come to rely on and cherish.

The only hitch in his plans for his late night wanderings tonight was the blasted rainstorm currently going on. Though the rain was lightening up, it still meant that going outside the castle or flying as he sometimes liked to do under his invisibility cloak was out of the question. Which meant that if he wanted to get away from his snoring friend, that being Ron since Neville Longbottom his other remaining room mate didn't snore, he'd have to find somewhere inside the castle to roam instead.

Being indoors didn't create a problem for Harry really, though he preferred the outdoors during the few warm weeks they still had when he would get back to school. Tonight though it somewhat did bother him, since soon enough he'd be forced to stay indoors at night when it began to snow, so the rain right now wasn't helping his already dulled mood this evening. Deciding which of his 'hiding' places he was now going to go to in order to get away from things, he grabbed up his invisibility cloak and his Marauder's Map. The Map and cloak were the second and third most invaluable things he owned in his meagre possessions, after Hedwig his owl of course, and getting his slippers on he headed down to the commons.

As he got to the portrait hole he quickly threw his cloak round his shoulders and knocked once on the back of the portrait that sealed the opening. The portrait quietly swung open and Harry stepped outside into the cooler air of the corridor, breathing in quietly for a moment at the fact he was once again freed from his 'restraints'.

'Don't be too late out there young one. And watch out for the west wing on the third floor, I heard Peeves is doing something up that way, and although it should occupy Filch for the rest of the evening you never can be sure,' the Fat Lady said in a motherly fashion.

'Thanks Lady, I'll be careful,' Harry said quietly from underneath his cloak and began to trot off, making sure first that Filch was really and truly occupied and glad to know the Fat Lady had been right.

It had been last term that Harry had began wandering nights like this, and though at first the Fat Lady had been startled when she would find no one outside when the portrait was opened she began to suspect who it could be. Years ago another invisible person used to wander out at nights, and she knew this new person had to be related to that other person, which meant it could only have been Harry Potter. Not that she was going to admit this to anyone, but she always had had a soft spot for Lily Evans back then, poor girl for all she had to go through. So if she could help Lily's son out, the Fat Lady was more than willing to do so.

Harry meanwhile was heading off in a direction as far from the west wing as possible, just in case Filch and Peeves finished off whatever it was they were doing and came in search of late night wanderers. For not the first time Harry actually felt sorry for old Filch for putting up with the likes of Peeves all day and night long. At any rate, better safe than sorry Harry thought now and instead headed to the east wing of the castle, something that later on in his life Harry Potter would chalk up to fate, since the east tower was the last place he normally would have been wandering off to.

The east tower was directly over the Slytherin dorms and the dreaded dungeons, only Harry being so desperate to get away from his own dorm had for the moment forgotten that. It wasn't till he got to the top of the east tower that he realised this, and by then it was too late to turn back and go anywhere else. It seemed that right at that moment nothing on earth could avoid what his subconscious mind was thinking, and that fact scared Harry. Yet another aspect of Harry Potter's life that he wasn't in control of, another part of himself that was the reason for these late night wanderings, and what drove him into the solitudes he craved.

Making a turn into what he thought was another corridor he stopped in his tracks in surprise. The corridor simply ended, just like that, there was nothing but a brick wall now in front of him. He knew the corridors of the school were a bit odd sometimes, but then so was pretty much everything at a school built solely from magic, but he'd never just run into a dead-ended corridor shut up by a brick wall when by rights the corridor should have continued onwards. It took him a moment to remember he had his map on him so he took it out along with his wand and said the words to activate it.

'I solemnly swear I am up to no good,' Harry whispered, and then tapped the scroll once with his wand. Checking that Filch and Peeves were still occupied which thankfully they were, and that from the looks of it everyone was where they were supposed to be, he peered down at the dot that read 'Harry Potter' or rather, at the spot where the name Harry Potter should have been. But to his surprise it wasn't there, instead there was only a single black dot labelled simply 'Harry' and nothing else.

What was even more surprising was that the 'wall' that was before was by no means a wall. The map clearly showed a room behind that wall, yet glancing again at the brick wall he saw no visible means of getting into the room. Glancing down again at the map he looked to see if maybe there was a password, like with the Humpbacked Witch a few floors below, however the map revealed nothing in the way of a password either.

Muttering in exasperation he cleared the map with the words Mischief Managed, and rolled it back up, putting it along with his wand back in his robe then turned and eyed the wall carefully. He ran his fingers up and down the stones of the wall, checking for hidden latches or anything, but yet again found nothing. For the next thirty minutes he tried to figure out the wall, before suddenly realising his senses were picking up something different, that someone was coming down the corridor.

Throwing back on the invisibility cloak it didn't take long for him to realize his senses were now going off like a giant alarm inside of him. Since he had come to Hogwarts only two people could trigger his internal instincts like this, not that he was ever going to admit who that was, not even to Ron or Hermione. He had begun to notice all of the times his senses had gone on alert as far back as first year, however Harry knew that his friends would probably think he'd gone daft anyway if he'd told them who it was at the time. Instead he kept that information to himself, some things were definitely better left unsaid, especially once he had learned to distinguish exactly which person had caused which reactions, and what those reactions ended up as.

Now however his instincts were easily telling him which of the two people it was coming down the corridor, so he quickly hid in one of the small nooks near the wall, behind a statue of two people he couldn't quite make out in the dimmed hallway. Moments later he knew his instincts had been right on par yet again, only it wasn't exactly who he had been expecting, instead of one person there were two people now coming round the corner, and Harry nearly gasped in surprise at what he was seeing. Thankfully though the two people seemed to be having a bit of a row or something, and were paying no attention at all to anything else round them.

'...I'm telling you you're wrong. It's bat wings not cricket wings you insufferable git.'

'I think I know what I'm doing you fool. I've been making this godforsaken potion long enough to know the difference. It's cricket wings.'

'All right fine, it's cricket wings. After all, you're the Potions expert here. Now can we get on with this? It's not like we have all night you know. I've got plans for the rest of the night,' the first person said with a strange guarded look in his eyes.

'It only takes an hour to do this, so stop whinging already. By the gods you are impossible around the Full Moon. Now what's the blasted password for this week anyways?' the second man said harshly, though there was a look in his black eyes that was saying something far different then his voice was.

'At least I'm not impossible all month long like you are you daft arse. And I don't know what the password is, I thought you set it last you greasy git,' the first man grumbled.

'Oh, good come back, you sorry excuse for a human being. And I thought you set it,' the second man shot back.

'For Merlin's sake, why I put up with the two of you is beyond me, you're both bloody impossible so stuff it already. For the life of me, I don't know why I agreed to do this, week after week it's the same thing, if you ask me it's utterly ridiculous. Besides, it was my turn to set it this week anyway if you remember,' a third voice now muttered from thin air to Harry's surprise, especially when he recognised the third voice all too well.

'Well excuse me for not remembering to care if it was your turn,' the second person scowled. 'Now just say the damned password and let's go on with this. I also have better things to do than to stand here in a corridor for the rest of the night.'

'Being touchy aren't we? Do I even want to know what your plans are for the rest of the night?' the third person said with a disgusted tone of voice.

'Yes, not that we were going to tell you anyway, you'll just have to wait and see now won't you,' the first person said with a hint of a smile. 'Now, the password please if you wouldn't mind?'

A muttered oath came from the air and seconds later the words 'Deleo Maleficus' came from underneath what Harry assumed could only be another invisibility cloak. What surprised him even more than the fact the particular person had an invisibility cloak was what happened after the third person spoke those two words. In a matter of seconds the brick wall did exactly like it did at Diagon Alley and started to rearrange itself, though surprisingly a lot more quieter than it should have been. In fact there wasn't a sound at all.

Harry quickly realised a strong silencing spell must have been in place on the bricks, otherwise they would have made a horrible echo in the empty corridor. As soon as the bricks were moved out of place a door came into view, and Harry nearly choked at what he was looking at. It wasn't so much the door itself that made Harry stare, it was what was on the door, and he wondered what on earth these three people would possibly need to be doing in a place with a door that had that particular crest.

The three people obviously weren't bothered by the crest nor paying attention to it, and a movement by the second person in the group distracted his attention. The second person was now removing a gold chain from around his neck, which Harry thought strange since he'd never seen this person wear any jewellery. Now that he thought of it though, he remembered seeing a bronze ring on the person's right hand, also with a strange crest on it, another crest that Harry had never seen before, but that only recently.

Harry could see now that at the end of the chain was an ancient looking silver coloured medallion the size of a Galleon. Putting the medallion to a spot on the door it suddenly swung open, and the chain and the medallion were carefully put back on the person's neck, hidden away by the high black and white collar of the man's robes.

'All right, let's get them, shall we?' the first person said jovially now, the misplaced crankiness apparently gone, and then he headed inside the doorway disappearing from view.

Just as the second person was about to head inside Harry heard a muttered oath and he saw the second person rubbing his leg. 'Watch where you're going you oafish mutt!' he grumbled and glared at the thin air.

'Call me that again and I swear to the gods I'll hex you when you least expect it. Actually that's something I might find enjoyable,' the voice said with a snort.

'Oh really? And with what are you planning on hexing me with? Your invisible wand? Don't make me laugh,' the second man smirked.

'Just because I still don't have a wand doesn't mean I can't fight you know. I do have enough strength these days to still pack a punch. If you remember I was the top in my field. There wasn't anyone who could best me when I was head of the Hand to Hand combat unit at the Ministry,' the hidden person muttered.

'Oh I haven't forgotten, but I can't really see that happening these days, can you? When you've stopped living off the rats and snakes let me know, I might get worried then,' the second person said just as icily, glaring at an empty spot in the hallway.

'Will you two quit bickering and get in here already? Otherwise I'll put you both in body binds again! Honestly, and you say I'm the annoying one,' the first person said sticking his head out the doorway now.

'He started it,' the second person said crossing his arms in a huff.

'If you weren't such a slimy bastard - ', the third person began but was cut off.

'Enough! Get in here and stop arguing. You're like a bunch of children, why I put up with you two is what I should be asking myself. Now both of you move it and I mean that! NOW!' the first person said firmly and glared at both the second person and the invisible person, able to somehow pinpoint the exact location of where the person was just as the second person had been able to do.

The two men in the corridor complied, though not without grumbling at each other first, and moments later the door swung closed, the bricks realigned themselves and everything was quiet. Harry didn't move from behind the statue yet, just sitting there taking in everything he'd seen and heard in both shock and surprise. He knew these three men, knew them well, but as to what on earth they would be doing here, and more importantly, together was something he didn't even remotely understand.

When he finally stepped round the statue and actually took a good look at it he gasped in pure surprise. The statue was of two people like he first had thought, and if he was right, he suspected who they were though he didn't see how it was possible. The two people before him looked young, carefree, smiles on their faces and had their arms round each other as if they were best friends. His suspicions were confirmed however as the placard said who they were, and Harry didn't know what to make of it all.

Shaking his head in puzzlement Harry began to walk back towards the Gryffindor dorms, a lot on his mind. Somehow he felt as if he'd been somehow transported to that American Muggle telly show Hermione had talked about once called the "Twilight Zone" where everything appeared 'normal' on the surface but then you suddenly found yourself in something that was anything but 'normal'. Not that being a wizard was 'normal', at least not in the world he'd grown up in, but by standards in the wizarding world, even this rated as highly 'unusual'.

As he got back to the dorm and settled down in his bed his mind was still racing. He had a heck of a lot of questions for what should have been just a routine midnight stroll, and not a single answer. The mention of a potion requiring bat wings didn't help since Harry knew there were far too many potions out there that required them. The statue and the crest on the door were even more of a puzzle, and Harry knew that unless he were to confront Hermione on it, which by no means was he going to, he would have to be discreet in his investigations.

As Harry finally drifted off to sleep he suddenly remembered how he'd felt when he knew someone was coming down the corridor, what he'd felt when he knew exactly who it was, and how it still made him wonder why he could feel that way for that person. Also why he had felt the urge to stay and listen when he'd actually seen who it was, and not tried to just turn and run when he easily could have. The fact that over the last few weeks more than ever he could pinpoint the exact location of not only that person but another person no matter where in the castle they were bothered him, and it was just more questions on a huge pile of them that he wondered would ever get answered.

In his almost fully sleep-filled mind one last thought filtered through his barely awake thoughts. One that if he had been more awake he'd have thought he was definitely going daft for, or perhaps maybe the rain and being cooped up had been the cause of it, though even Harry knew it would have been doubtful. As it was however he was too tired to worry about what his mind was thinking, and when he finally gave in to sleep he knew beyond a shadow of a doubt it certainly wasn't going to be a restful one.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

"Deleo Maleficus" in Latin by the by means 'Destroy Evil' in basic translations.

04-Jun-02 1:44:54 PM
Edited on: December 01, 2002 2:30 AM ©Piriotessa/Piri Lupin-Snape/Piri Malfoy