An Experiment Gone Wrong

~~~~~~~~An Experiment Gone Wrong~~~~~~~

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*I had the chance to tell you...to tell you everything and I threw it away...oh gods what have I done? I won't make that mistake again....I can't. I'm so sorry...forgive me, please Merlin forgive me for what I did....you can't die on me now....I'm not ready to lose you...to lose us....just hold on...I'll be there....I still choose us!*

Severus's mood was as harsh as the weather was in Latvia at the moment. Winter didn't come easy in a place that was so far up in the northern part of the world. The fact he was half frozen, tired, hungry and not to mention lost wasn't helping. Sirius hadn't bothered to mention in his post exactly where the 'barn' he had taken Remus was, and it was a very annoyed Severus who finally was beginning to wonder just how many 'abandoned' barns there were right now on the 'outskirts of town'.

Leaving Hogwarts hadn't been easy either. Poppy had given him more then a few sickles worth of whatfors when she'd been told that Severus was going rather than herself. It's not that she didn't trust Severus in simple healings, but something as grave as the situation appeared, she certainly hadn't wanted to take the chances. Severus was a spot on Potions Master, but he was not a trained licensed Mediwizard. And Poppy made him quite well aware of that until the moment he'd finally gotten out of her grasp.

He'd gratefully left her and Albus at the Three Broomsticks, catching an international Floo Network grate to Riga. From there he had apparated to Bergi, right on the edge of the town, which if Severus's internal clock was working correctly, was bout 5 hours ago now. He headed off in what he thought might be the right direction at first, only half an hour later realizing it wasn't by any means.

Doubling back with a few oaths under his misted breath, he'd so far taken no less than 6 trails out of town, had checked 9 different 'barns' and still nothing. Being this close to where Remus was hadn't even helped in finding him, which led him to believe Remus was probably unconscious and not able to project his emotions. The only thing at the moment Severus was sure of was that Remus was alive, simply because....so was he.

*When I get my hands on you Black I swear to Merlin....trust you not to tell us exactly where you're damned bloody 'barn' was! At least you could have said the direction!* Severus's mind muttered. At this point it was pretty much an empty threat though, since he couldn't even feel his hands anymore. The warming spells only did so much, and in his fury the only thing he'd remembered to 'pack' were potions...warm clothing and simple things like a scarf or gloves had been the furthest from his mind which he was now regretting.

A fresh snowfall now made things even more difficult. The sun was just bout to set, and Severus knew if he didn't find shelter soon, he was going to be in for more than a bit of trouble. If it was bad like this during daylight where it was just a little below freezing, the night was going to be hell. He knew that temperatures up here could get well into the negative degrees in a matter of seconds once the sun went down. And in the state he was in, combined with the snow fall, he would probably freeze to death quickly if he didn't find something soon.

*I swear on my own grave Black....if I die out here I'll come back and haunt you till you grow insane from what I'll do to you....you'll wish you had stayed in Azkaban....*

A darkening of the sky suddenly made him realize time was up. The sun was setting, and the snow was too thick now to even get a bearing anymore. He refused to give up however despite the fact he could hear the cry of wolves in the distance. The howls sent shivers down his already half frozen spine more in fear than anything else. Though he wasn't 100% positive, he had a very good feeling these were no ordinary wolves. He wondered now if these had been the ones who'd attacked Remus, though he wasn't sure he really wanted to find out.

Unfortunately for Severus, he wasn't going to get much of a choice. The falling snow had distorted the sound of the wolf howls, either that or his tired mind had just given up and none of his instincts including hearing were working properly anymore. It was too late before he realized it though, and he found himself surrounded....and the pack didn't look friendly.

One of the wolves, a giant black one with scars up and down it's face and a twisted front paw stopped just before him and eyed him wearily. Severus tried to hold his ground, but his weariness overtook him. He knelt down into the snow before the giant wolf from sheer exhaustion, his cold black gaze level with the yellowed irises of his adversary. At this point he didn't care any longer if the pack were to take him, he wasn't going to survive out here anyway without shelter or food.

The wolf leader circled him carefully while the others of the pack stayed behind a respectful distance. Then to Severus's surprise the werewolf, and Severus had no doubts it was a werewolf pack, came over and sniffed his robes, and then did something Severus wasn't sure he believed he was seeing. In almost a heartbeats time, where the werewolf had been standing, was now a man.

The man muttered some words and Severus saw it was a wandless dressing spell for himself, along with a second woolen cloak in his hands. The man held it out to him in offering, but Severus eyed the cloak wearily as if it was some trick, however, the man thrust it at Severus again insistently so he took it. With a wave of the man's hand he indicated for Severus to follow him, and though Severus was tired and frozen he managed to throw the cloak over his body and get up, following the man almost automatically.

The cloak wasn't just an ordinary cloak Severus realized after a few moments...it contained a warming spell, and he felt the blood beginning to thaw inside his frozen body. Not more than 5 minutes later Severus was warm again, and the man and he had arrived at a small shack which they entered quickly. Looks had been misleading though, for inside it was no mere shack, in fact it was quite elaborate and had been magically hidden into the earth itself. The man indicated for Severus to take a seat and with a sharp string of words in language Severus didn't recognize, the others in the pack who had entered before them disappeared elsewhere, leaving the two men in peace.

The man came over to the table with a steaming mug of a dark liquid and put it down in front of Severus. "Drink. Will warm you more," he said in a deep voice.

Severus nodded and did as he was told, still wondering what was going on. When he was done he finally felt the last of the frozeness leave him, and he was grateful though he wasn't going to show it just yet. Putting the mug down on the table he turned his gaze to the man sitting across from him, observing him for a moment now that he had the chance.

The man was much shorter than him, 5'5 or 5'6 at best, skin a little darker than a deep tan, and waist long hair that was blacker then the night was, though streaked on one side from tip to tip in grey. One of his hands was gnarled and missing 2 fingers, and his face was worn with the scars Severus had seen in the mans wolf form. His eyes were also black, shrewd and calculating, yet...Severus almost swore there was a warmth in them, and puzzled he wondered why he was here and not dead out in the snow.

"Why did you save me," Severus asked now, his gaze wandering round the kitchen area they were in before falling back to the man.

The man studied Severus for a moment and replied. "You serve the dark lord....but yet...you do not. You are loyal though but to whom I wonder."

Severus looked at the man with a cool gaze. "What business is it of yours who I serve. I know where my loyalties are. Question is....where are yours?" he said sharply.

The man looked at Severus almost searchingly than let out a loud laugh. "You have chosen well in who you are friends with....Severus Snape."

Severus nearly jumped out of his chair in surprise and a bit of fear. "H-how...how do you know..." he stammered.

The man waved one of his hands as if brushing him off. "I know you half wolf, your scent is marked. The only one you have been unloyal to now....is yourself Severus Snape. But now...yes...you find hope again...and you fight. Is good, you need. How I know you though....come. I show you," the man said simply and got up heading towards a side room.

Severus got up and followed the man, though his instincts were tingling with unknown emotions he didn't understand. The closer he got to the room, the more he felt as if there was something there that made him afraid, unsure. Why was this man...this werewolf...being so kind to him? If it was the one who'd attacked Remus, why show him mercy? Because he thought he served Voldemort? He had detected dark magic being used since he got to this place, though he wasn't sure it was because they followed Voldemort. Somehow despite all, he wasn't getting the impression they were.

The man knocked on the door and a woman opened the door. The man said some words to her in the same language as before, and she looked at Severus with a strange look before stepping aside to let them in. As Severus stepped into the room he looked round and realized it was a bedroom of sorts, almost more like a small infirmary with several beds littered round the room. The woman said something to the man and walked out the door, closing it softly behind her.

The man didn't say anything to Severus, just nodded his head towards one of the beds near the far wall. For some reason Severus couldn't help but to start walking towards it, a sense of foreboding deep in his soul. As he got to the edge of the bed he stopped for a moment afraid. Somehow he knew he wasn't going to want to see what he was about to.

Taking up his courage however he stepped round to the side, and a gasp followed by a soft groan escaped his lips. Falling to his knees by the side of the bed he was in shock at what he saw, or rather who it was he saw. The person...was Remus. His Remus....his lifemate....the man who would forever hold his heart, body, mind and soul within his grasp....the man who he had also driven away and betrayed so long ago.

Only Severus knew that 3 years ago it had taken all his willpower not to give in to the agony he was going through in seeing Remus again. To see him daily, talk to him, make the Wolfsbane for him, have meals with him and even teach for him. And the torture it had been not to be able to take Remus into his arms and his bed the moment he'd first seen him and apologize for everything he had done, everything that had been said 12 years prior.

It was too late though and Severus knew it. 3 years ago there had still been too much unsaid between them, to much lost emotions and feelings yet to even have hope for more. The look in Remus's eyes, the sadness and pain that was directed solely at Severus was more then he thought he could bear. So unless he had to actively do something for him, Severus had avoided Remus like the plague. And thankfully Remus had seen fit to do the same thing in return.

The nights had been the worst of it, a constant remind of how he could still feel his arms wrapped tightly round his lovers body. How he could still smell Remus's scent lingering on his clothing just as it had so many years before. The intoxicating scents of the both of them mingling together in the air invaded him even down in his dungeon room had nearly driven Severus to the edge of what little sanity he had had left.

But it had been Remus's voice that was enslaved within his mind most during that whole year. Not the words he was speaking to Severus 3 years ago, no...not that. It was the unspoken angers, the hurts, the bitter betrayals...and then finally...the silence. In 12 years not a single word nor thought nor exchange of emotion even had been shared. Only silence.

It had been Black's fault yet again that had caused a rift and he hated Black more than he ever though he could hate someone. It had been Black's fault that 15 years ago Remus and he had parted ways, at least so he had thought at that time. When he had heard Black had escaped, and Remus was still trying to hold on to a innocent defence of his old lover, Severus lost it.

He had been ready to kill Sirius back during the shack incidence. Not just because he had thought he had betrayed James and Lily, and he thought he was trying to kill Harry, but because he blamed Black most of all for his torment. If Black hadn't betrayed everyone....then in turn, Severus never would have betrayed Remus.

Everyone had thought he was upset about losing the Order of Merlin which had led to his telling the Slytherin's Remus was a werewolf, but it wasn't. When he heard from Albus the truth bout Pettigrew, that he had been the betrayer and not Black...and that all those years he had spent away from Remus had been for no reason...it was like a bucket of ice had been poured on him.

His thoughts back then were that there was no way Remus would ever take him back, not after what he'd done in the shack...not after he'd driven him away in jealousy, anger and pain. No, the only thing he could do was try to get Remus away from him, as far away as possible. And that's why he had let it slip to Draco Malfoy that Remus was a werewolf. Because he knew Draco would act on it, and he knew Remus would be too proud the Gryffindor to stay.

Seeing Remus lying in this bed now in the state he was in tore into Severus like a knife. Gently so that he wouldn't wake the sleeping form that was his Remus he took his lifemates hand in his own. It was the first time in 15 years that he had touched Remus, and his mind and body were both reeling at how much he had missed this touch. How much in fact that he missed everything about Remus. How stupid he had been to drive him away, and how he prayed somehow that there was still hope left.

What concerned him most was the state Remus was in right now though. What or whoever had attacked him had obviously not meant for him to live, there was no question in Severus's mind on that. In the one and half blissful years that they had had together before tragedy had forced them apart, he had learned enough on werewolf healing to know that the wounds he saw on Remus's arms and face were meant for killing, not just maiming.

Though his own healing properties weren't nearly as quick as Remus's being a halfwolf, he knew that it was directly tied to the bloodflow. Make enough deep wounds where the blood flows out too quickly, the werewolf will die. Few knew this however, most think that silver is the only way to effectively do away with a werewolf, but years of experience had proven that wrong. Though silver was the quickest way to death, 'bleeding' one as it was called was just as usable, and was the most common cause of a internal pack member's death.

The gashes along Remus's arms were bad, he could see where someone, probably the woman, had stitched them closed. The bitemarks were equally deep, piercing well down to the bone, probably severing arteries as well which from the looks of it was what Black had managed to patch up.

His face was in no less better shape. Over his left eye there was a group of nail slash marks at least 3 inches in length, and over his right eye sported a bandage seeped in nothing but blood. On his neck were more bitemarks though thankfully nowhere near as deep. From what Severus could tell Remus had been exceedingly lucky in that the major neck arteries had been missed, because if they hadn't been he'd have died by now.

He didn't even have to think what to do next, it came to him automatically. He ignored the man for the moment even though Severus had a lot of questions for him, they would have to wait. Taking his hand from Remus's he reached into his robe and pulled out a small black velvet back filled with assorted vials. Picking through it he choose 3 of them before putting the bag back away. When he had been 'packing' to come here he wasn't sure which vials to bring, but now he knew he'd made the right choices.

He uncovered Remus from the heavy duvet that he had been under and with a drawn breath saw something he had been dreaming of for 15 years now. Remus was naked underneath the duvet, and though right now his body was a mass of twisted skin and traces of blood, to him Remus was still just as beautiful as he remembered. However he knew now wasn't the time for admirations, the wounds needed tending to, the memories....he would have to work on....and wait on.

The first vial contained a potion that was a thin blue liquid which after uncapping the vial, he slowly began to drop into the wounds. The Adferu Potion was incredibly strong healing potion, and restricted at that due to it's complexity and amount of dark items needed to brew. Thanks to Albus's contacts over the years however, Severus had been supplied with those various dark items, and for his own personal injuries inside the classroom as well as when he was saving anyone from Voldemort's clutches, he always made sure to have a batch brewed.

Only one drop per wound was needed though in some of the wounds Severus decided to add a second drop for safety. He'd never used the potion on wounds this bad before so he felt better safe than sorry. The vial was empty when he finally finished the painstaking task of attending each and every wound, and hoped it would be enough.

Waiting a few moments he could see the potion was already hard at work on some of the lesser gashes and bites, and he was grateful how instantaneous the Adferu Potion was. The next vial he uncapped was a dark pink liquid, an Adeni Potion. This wasn't just a 'restricted' potion, the Adeni Potion was a forbidden one, and for all the right reasons.

This particular dark arts potion recipe had been given to him by a woman he had come to truly admire over the years, even if her shop was smack dab in the midst of Knockturn Alley. It seemed almost like fate now that his halfgoblin friend had seen fit to give it to him, almost as if she knew it was going to be need right at this moment in time. With a pang of regret he also realized now that when she had given him the recipe it had been the last time he'd seen Haggatha, not to mention the very last time he'd left the castle, before shutting himself away from the world.

As the case was fate was truly stepping in it seemed, for it had only been a few days back when he had brewed this batch of potion. Because of the rarity of the ingredients he only could brew a small batch of it at a time, and only twice a year because of one of the main ingredients. The Annaprox flower used to make this potion only bloomed 2 times of the year, the week of the summer and winter solstices. And it only grew in one place in the world, which thankfully just happened to be convenient for Severus...the Forbidden Forest.

The Adeni Potion was a regeneration potion of sorts, which is why it was banned. Severus didn't know exactly why it had been banned completely, but he knew it was Albus who had fought to get it banned back in the 40's during the Grindelwald wars. It was only because Albus trusted Severus still perhaps that much that he allowed Severus to brew this potion, even though Severus never had told him he was. But then again, Albus always knew didn't he, and right now he was grateful he had been allowed to brew it.

The only reason he was going to use it was simple. Underneath the bandage on Remus's eye was, to put it bluntly, nothing. Just a place where an eye and an eyelid should have been, and Severus couldn't bear the thought of Remus losing that eye. Gently pouring a tiny bit of the potion into where his eye should have been he recovered the area with the bandage and recapped the vial. Unlike the Adferu potion, this one was going to need more time.

Satisfied that he had finished the external work he uncapped the final vial he had taken out of his pouch. It was none other then the Curacion Potion that he'd used on himself and Remus all those years ago. Course over the years he had reworked it as muggle medicines improved, and now it was at probably the best strength and ability it would ever be.

Gently lifting Remus's head up just enough so he wouldn't choke, he put the vial between his lips and tilted it back, letting the liquid slowly slip down Remus's throat. When the vial was finished he put Remus's head gently back down on the pillow and recapped the vial, putting it away. With a sigh he took Remus's hand once more in his, and kneeling down by the bed began to wait. Now it was up to Remus to wake up on his own, he knew to use Enervate on him or wake him suddenly wouldn't do.

A noise off to his side told him the man was carefully watching all of this with an appraising eye, and Severus felt a bit guilty now that he had ignored the man for so long. "Who are you really? Who did this?" he said now turning his gaze to the man who was now sitting on one of the nearby beds.

"Demitrov. My human name," the man said in his deep voice, though it was hushed.

Severus looked at him sharply, surprised at the name. Now he understood why the language had not sounded familiar. "Russian? Not Latvian?"

The man shook his head. "Nyet. In Russia there were those who still feared us too much. There were deaths where our pack was. We were hunted down and some killed, though my pack never hunted the humans."

"But you're wilds...surely there have been incidences...." Severus said hesitantly.

"Nyet. Not in my pack. For a halfwolf you know little of the wilds. But then you are binded to a tame, so I understand. Not all wilds Severus Snape hunt humans...though few remain who are like us."

"If it wasn't your pack....then who did this?" Severus asked.

"Other side of ridge 2 maybe 3 kilometers...there is another pack. Small yes, but very wild. Very dark. They are lost ones," Demitrov said, a visible shudder passing through him.

"Isn't that unusual though to have 2 packs in the same region? Why don't they attack you as well?"

"Is simple. We leave from Russia many many years ago. No other pack here then. Three years ago they come. They say they not stay long, they still are here. They will not attack us because I pretend to them, so they will leave us be," Demitrov said with a shrug.

"Pretend? Pretend what? And how did you find Remus? He was with someone...a man, where is he?" Severus said.

Demitrov smiled bearing yellowed teeth and pointed at Severus. "You pretend to be what you are not. I do same. I say I am loyal, but I am not. You understand now?"

Severus let his words sink in a moment then realized exactly what Demitrov was saying. He allowed a small smile to come to his lips, the first time in a very long time that he actually had smiled. "Hmph. What webs we weave Demitrov."

Demitrov nodded with a grin. "To live one does what one must do. The man you ask on, he is sleeping yet. The woman here before, she is my mate. She go to town after sunrise to get milk for our two cubs. She cannot wean them after the full moon, so she buy them milk instead. She pick up the scent of blood, and another werewolf. She come get me. I find them both sleeping in a barn. I bring them here because this one hurt very bad. The man healed him not very well, this one almost died. My wife is good healer though, she save him. Good for you eh?" he said with a knowing smile.

Severus nodded in agreement. "Yes, good for me. And the other man, he wasn't injured...was he?" Severus said a bit of concern in his voice.

Demitrov shook his head no. "Tired yes. Hungry he was. Half frozen when I find them. He should wake soon, he sleeps since early afternoon now."

"How did you know who I am though? No one knew I was coming here," Severus said puzzled.

Demitrov smiled again and put his hand into his pocket and pulled out a piece of parchment. "The man named Sirius Black, he sent owl to someone when he get here. This come in reply by Latvian wizard courier not owl. Owl take too long courier said," he said handing Severus the piece of parchment to read.

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I am grateful you both were found by Demitrov and his pack and that you both are safe. However this does present a problem since Severus is now already on his way to the village, if he is not there by now. I will need to you find him since he will be looking for the two of you in a barn still.

Sirius I do not need to tell you why Severus is coming instead of Poppy, but then I believe you never intended Poppy to join you in the first place...did you. I think we both admit it's time we helped make up the past, even when the circumstances are less than admirable.

Tell Severus when he returns to the school he is not to come alone. I will expect the two of you to be joining him. Your journeys for me are over now my friend, it is time you helped Harry, for he needs you right now more than ever. As for Remus, I believe his journey...home....is just beginning.....

Owl me when you are going to return and I will make the arraignments.

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As Severus finished reading the letter his hand was shaking and his head was dizzy in wonder. He felt as if 15 years of darkness was being lifted suddenly, and he knew that this time he wasn't going to let it come back. Looking back over to Remus now he silently took Remus's hand to his cheek, closing his eyes with a sigh of happiness.

*Albus and Sirius are giving me another chance Remus....please...give me one too....I've hurt you so much my love and I swear to you I will never again....I'd give up everything Remus...everything....just to have you in my arms again....oh gods Remus I love you....I love you....* his mind whispered, tears now cascading down his cheeks onto the sheets of the bed.

"....I love you too Sev....I always have....and I always will....."

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