An Experiment Gone Wrong

"It should work this time, we've gone over everything twice." Severus said peering into the bubbling cauldron for the hundredth time.

"We could go over it again if you want...to be sure I mean..." Remus said hesitantly.

"No, it should work. We've got less than half an hour till sunset, so maybe you should take the last goblet full now." Severus said walking over and picked up the special goblet he had decided to use for the potion. He held it for a moment rubbing his fingers over the designs on it.

It wasn't a school goblet, one look at it anyone could tell that easily enough. Jewel encrusted with the Snape family crest, it had been a gift from his mother when he had obtained the title of Potions Master. And till now he had never once used it. But somehow he felt the occasion was something in which he didn't mind using the goblet.

Remus glanced towards Severus speculatively, glancing at the goblet in his hand even though Severus didn't notice it. *He's using one of his own goblets...for me?* he thought to himself surprised and a small sigh of wonder escaped from his lips. One in which Severus heard.

"Something wrong Lupin?" he said.

"Hmm? Oh nothing. Just hope it works that's all." Remus said distractedly and turned to gaze into the bubbling cauldron.

Severus glanced at him worriedly. Since the day he had returned from Black's, Remus had been a much different person. Distanced, colder, less sure of himself. He disappeared into the library or other places of solitude with his case tightly clasped in his hand, returning hours later worn out and glassy eyed. He was much quieter then normal, even during meals, though the few staff members left now for the summer didn't seem to notice.

And there was obvious reasoning behind that since it was the 30th of July, and the Poppy had said that the birth of Lily and James Potter's child was due any moment. The one who should have been talking up a storm and making toasts towards the new child's future was the one person hardly knowing what was going on around him. And at this point Severus had grown quite concerned, unsure of what to do about it.

His feelings towards Remus had only grown worse over the last few days since he had gazed at him while he had been sleeping. It was getting to be a struggle hiding how he felt at this point, knowing how badly he wanted to wrap Remus in his arms and comfort him, to let him know he was there for him. But he couldn't. To allow that to happen would destroy the walls he had so carefully built round himself, and even Stephan hadn't been able to do that over the years. Yet...for Remus....

"We need to add in the last ingredient while it's still simmering. Could you get the purple vial that's in the store room?" Severus said turning his mind away from his thoughts.

Remus didn't say anything but he did go get the vial. It took him a while to locate it since there had to be at least 30 vials in the cupboard. It amazed him that with all those different vials, some even the same colours, that Severus could know exactly what was what without fail. Pulling out the purple one he'd been sent for however, he walked back into the classroom and over to Severus, held out the vial, and waited for him to take it, all without a single word spoken.

Severus looked at Remus a moment before reaching for it. Suddenly the thought of the potion actually working this time didn't seem such a great thing after all. Choosing his words carefully he said, "You know Lupin, if this works you'll be leaving the school probably the next day or so. You'll have to let Dumbledore know where to reach you each month so I can send it via owl."

For the first time in days Remus actually showed signs of emotions, only it was more fear and sadness then anything else. "L-leave? Oh...of course. I..I guess I didn't think of it. No reason for me to...stay...if the potion works. I"m sure you had plans...for the summer...I"m sorry if I've kept you from them," he said looking into Severus eyes.

Severus's mind briefly flickered to the words "Paris" and "Stephan", but he quickly shook them away. Somehow those things seemed far far away now, almost as if they weren't real. What was real was the here and now. The potion. Remus. Sweet, innocent, incredibly good looking, tortured Remus. And every single emotion within him that went along with that particular man.

What Severus didn't know was that Remus was seeing far more in those coal black eyes of his then he could ever have thought. He was mesmerized at the fluid swirls cascading in them, showing him yet again a side of Severus Snape he hadn't ever thought could exist. Lately Remus's life had been full of misjudgments, and it seemed Severus was now another part of his life he been misled on.

As Remus stood there gazing into Severus's eyes, emotions within himself began to form. *How can eyes like that be so expressive? It's like he's seen the depths of both heaven and hell, and knows things no one else could possibly imagine...dark eyes with so much mystery...* No, he couldn't let himself think like that. Not now. Too much was at stake, too many questions he still had left unanswered.

The book had been invaluable to him so far, showing him things he never dreamed of. In just a few days of learning the few dark spells he had, of trying to find a part of himself that he now knew for sure existed, he still had no clue what he was really getting into. But he liked what had learned so far, the feeling of power it gave him, even though it was a bit confusing. And Severus Snape was just adding more confusion to the mixture, albeit a rather interesting one suddenly.

He wasn't sure what these odd expressions roaming through Severus's gaze meant, but he was getting a bit lightheaded at how his senses were responding. He knew that the day of the full moon always made him more aware then any other, and the book had in expressive ways informed him that the day of and the day after the full moon were a werewolf's most heightened times. Not just in strength, hearing, smell or touch, but in every single way possible.

The one thing he finally had found out was why Sirius and he had never lifebonded, and it had come as a bit of a surprise to him. The book had been very exact on the process involved of "Y Gwead Band'iau Gan Y Bleidd'ion" - The Blood Binding Of The Werewolf. He had always thought that lifebonding was an exchange of love but it was far more then that.

According the the ancient Welsh texts on which the book had been based (he found out that the book was written in Welsh, the only English in the whole thing had been the title but thankfully being Welsh he had understood it all), the joining of a lifemate required certain exchanges. Not just the emotion of what was love, no. It required more. Passion, understanding, trust, willingness to give one's soul to the other. And the final part of it was...blood. And the lifebond could only be done during one time...in the day of or the day just after the full moon.

Even if the emotions had been there, even if they had done everything else it never could have happened between the two of them. Sirius had made it a strict point that he would never bed Remus during those nights. Remus doubted it was because Sirius had known of this lifebonding process, but simply that Sirius had felt it was wrong to have sex when he was about to become the wolf. And usually the day after, Remus was too tired or muddled to instigate or receive anything anyway.

All these thoughts shuffled through his mind in a matter of moments, and he realized he was still staring into the murky black pools that were exclusively Severus's. He could have been there a minute or a lifetime, he wasn't even sure. However the sounds of the bubbling cauldron broke him out of his revere, and he realized Severus had been looking at him in much the same way.

"The potion..." Remus said in a whispered voice, his mind still reeling from the gaze.

Severus didn't move for a moment, lost himself in what that gaze had done to him. He stared down now at the vial in his hands that had been forgotten and back over to the cauldron. In a daze he uncapped the vial and poured in the contents, absentmindedly stirring it in then ladling just enough into the goblet. He handed it to Remus who drank it down quickly, then sighed as a warning signal went off in him.

"It's time to go Lupin," he said in a low voice, knowing now only seconds remained till sunset.

Remus looked back at him startled, he'd heard those words before. *.."Go Remus...I'm telling you to go..."* The words ran through his mind and he shivered at them. Everyone always told him to go...his parents...the Ministry...James...Sirius...and now...now Severus...

"Lupin?" Severus said noticing something wasn't right with him. What had he said to cause such a reaction? "Lupin...sunset...you have to go to the shack..." he said raising his voice when he saw Remus wasn't answering.

"Sunset?" Remus said blinking momentarily as the words finally sunk in. *Oh...of course! He only wants me to go to the shack...* Shaking away the memories he said, "I'm sorry Severus, I didn't realize. I'll go right away. You'll be watching again?" he said a bit hopefully.

Severus smiled, one of the rare times he allowed himself to do so while at school, and nodded at Remus. "Of course. Now go ahead, sun's just gone down, you don't have much time."

Remus set the goblet back on the table and without saying another word headed out the door of the potions classroom. Watching him leave was painful suddenly, Severus felt like Remus was walking out on him forever, even though he knew it was only for a few hours. He had resigned himself to the fact he was not going to go there tonight, not as human or wolf. He needed to know that the potion would work on it's own, not on his instigations of being a calming influence.

Knowing he had a few moments he began to clean up the items they had been using. After everything was away, he rinsed out the goblet and took it back to his private room, making sure to put it back where it usually stood on the mantelplace. By the time he finally sat down in front of the Scrying Mirror, Remus was at the shack, and the moon was about to make it's first peek through the clouds.

He watched as Remus removed his clothes, holding his breath at the sight of his naked form, and what it was doing to him. *Oh my sweet Remus...if only it was me you were standing willingly there naked for and not because you have to be...you have no idea what you do to me....* his mind whirled, and even the now apparent transformation process didn't ebb the heat that ran through his body.

That was until yet again sick horror welled up inside of him. The moon now at it's peek had completed the transformation, and yet again he watched as the wolf was not showing signs of calming down. *Noo....it cant be! We did everything right, I know we did! We double checked everything! How can this be?* His mind screamed, and again he prepared himself to flee his chambers.

It was only as he was halfway out of the Potions classroom that he remembered the vial Remus had handed him. Making a quick turn and grabbing it up off the desk he had set it on so he could refill it later, his heart stopped as he realized what the vial had contained. Sugar. And the truth of that hit him like a ton of Bludgers.

Running swiftly out of the room and out of the castle his mind was racing. *Dammit, why didn't I see it before? Sugar! It's causing the other ingredients to break down to quickly while he's transforming...I forgot that when he transforms his body chemicals speed up...the potion never stood a chance with it! How could you be so stupid Severus not to see it before...*

Unfortunately it was too late, as he got to the willow he could hear the sounds of the repaired trap door breaking, and he knew it was only a matter of seconds. If the willow wasn't moved out of the way before Remus got to the end he would find another way out of the shack, and the town of Hogsmeade would become a target. Something Severus had to prevent that at all costs.

Taking a stick he pressed the knot at the base of the willow, and before he could even think he transformed into his wolf form, and waited. Seconds later he knew he had been just in time. The grey werewolf leapt out of the base of the willow into the warm night air, snarling and sniffing the air as if it had already known something was waiting for him.

Severus wasted no time and went up to the werewolf circling round him to try and calm him down. *Remus...it's Remus in there not just 'the wolf'...* he reminded himself.

The werewolf was calm now, for it's new friend had come again and it was happy. "Come with me...I'll show you fun places to play!" it thought to the other wolf, and leapt away joyously.

Severus watched Remus for a second before following. This was going to be another long night, but this time he was looking forward to it. Remus in this calmed form was more child then anything else, wanting nothing more then to romp round and just have fun. A true marauder.

By nights end they had been through parts of the forbidden forest Severus hadn't even known existed. He was beginning to understand the moves of the werewolf side of Remus, anticipation his moves and actions. When Remus would sometimes stop and sniff out something close by, something perhaps that ought not be messed with, it was Severus who had to lead him away from the dangers.

It was almost with shock that Severus realized the sun would be coming over the horizon shortly, and he had precious little time left to get them back into the shack now. "We have to leave..." he thought towards Remus, hoping that he would understand. So far Remus had been the one doing the thinking at him, he had remained silent, watching, observing and well...playing.

"Leave where? I don't want to leave...I want to play..." Remus thought poutingly.

"We can play later...the sun comes...we have to go back to where you came from..." Severus thought back and pressed his nose up to Remus's shoulder pointing him in the direction of the willow.

"Allright...but can we play later? Will you be there?" Remus thought back to him and started heading back grudgingly.

"I'll try...now we must go back...come...I'll go with you..." Severus thought to him and together they returned to the shack, and not a moment too soon.

Just as Remus and Severus got back the moon faded completely, and the sun with it's orangey red tendrils began to rise from the horizon. Not more then a few moments later, Remus Lupin the man was lying there on the floor of the shack, Severus yet again sitting by his side.

Severus looked down at the naked body of Remus and a dam finally broke within him. His body took on a mind of it's own, his blood pounded at his temples, and he took Remus into in his arms, half forgetting the rest of the world existed. Unfortunately right at that moment the rest of the world did, or rather a certain mediwitch did. One who this time hadn't forgotten the lunar phases.

"Severus? I know you're in there because Albus said you are! Severus? SEVERUS SNAPE! BRING THAT BOY OUT HERE THIS MINUTE OR I'M COMING IN AFTER YOU!" Poppy Pomfrey bellowed down the underground passage.

*By Merlin's teeth you are the most annoying woman I know! Why can't you just leave us alone!* he wanted to scream out, but instead he yelled back, "Coming Madam Pomfrey! Be right there!"

*You are such a coward Severus, you know that? Why didn't you just tell the woman to sod off and get it over with? What is she going to really say eh?* Severus's little inner voice argued with him.

Severus quickly muttered the spell to get Remus dressed and picked him up getting ready to leave. *Because if I did that I would never hear the end of it, and right now I only want to get Remus out of that woman's clutches. If I tell her off she'll never let me see him again probably so sod off will you?* Severus said finally answering himself.

*Alright I concede, that actually is a sound idea...but...do you really know what you're doing Severus?*

*A hell of a lot more then you think I do...now bugger off. I don't need Poppy seeing me arguing with myself alright? She thinks I'm batty enough as it is...so just leave me be for a while...* Severus thought with a growl, and was satisfied when he received no answer.

Glancing down at Remus to make sure he was still sleeping, he walked down the passageway and out to face Poppy Pomfrey, who was certainly not looking too happy. "He's alright," he said walking up to her and letting her see for herself that Remus really was alright.

Poppy made a quick check on Remus and turned to Severus. "I don't know what game you're playing at Severus Snape but I won't stand for it. I am the mediwitch here, and I am the one who looked after him for 7 years. I think I know more bout what to do then you do," she said giving him a dark look.

Severus was not going to be put off by this woman, not now anyway. "Madam Pomfrey, much as I highly do respect your skills, the fact remains that Remus is alright. As you can plainly see he hasn't a single bite or scratch on him. If you recall, you yourself gave me a fair amount of healing training over the years, so I do think that all he needs is rest. He does not need to be cooped up in hospital for that," he said keeping his tone of voice neutral.

Poppy looked at Severus for a few moments debating. It was true that Remus seemed in good condition, minus the sleeping but that wasn't anything to really be concerned about. The fact that he was in that good of a condition is what concerned her, for if Remus had been alone last night like he should have been, he would have had the usual bites and bruises like he had had the first 5 years of school. She never could explain how in the last 2 years that hadn't been much of a problem, just as it wasn't now, nor would she ever ask Remus Lupin why that was. Sometimes it just didn't do to antagonize a werewolf, nor it seemed now, Severus Snape.

"Alright Severus, I concede. He needs rest though, and lots of it. If you need anything you know where to find me," she said in a huff.

"Of course Madam, I will call if need be." Severus said giving her a slight nod of his head and turned round and headed back towards the castle.

Poppy watched him walk away and suddenly one thing registered in her mind. Severus hadn't bothered with summoning a stretcher, he was carrying Remus in his arms. A slight smiled tugged at her lips and she nodded her head, walking towards the castle now herself. She wouldn't tell anyone just yet about what she had discovered bout Severus Snape this morning, probably no one would believe her anyway. Except of course Albus. If he didn't already know which knowing him as well as she did, he most likely did.

*You're an odd one to be sure Severus Snape, but you have a good heart. You're walls may fool everyone else, but I'm beginning to see past them. Just don't hurt him Severus, or you'll answer to me...* Poppy thought to herself, and with that she headed back to her rooms at the castle, content in the knowledge she had learned.

Meanwhile Severus had returned to his private rooms and was gently laying Remus down on the bed, making him as comfortable as he could considering the circumstances. Checking his side dresser to be sure that the vial of Curacion Potion he had developed was there, he spotted a few tears in Remus's robe that he hadn't noticed earlier and decided to do something about it.

He went over to his wardrobe and pulled out a pair of red muggle pyjama's he had picked up in Italy a few years ago. They were extremely comfortable and one of the 3 favourite pairs of pyjama's he had (Minerva's being one of those pairs of course). Going back over to the bed he took his wand out and muttered the spell to remove Remus's clothes, and quickly remuttered the alter spell to redress him in the pyjama's.

Putting his wand on the bedside dresser he gathered up Remus's clothes and brought them out into the Potions classroom. Calling up one of the many house-elves of the castle, he gave specific instructions as to what he wanted, and the elf popped back out of the room with the clothes in hand, to be returned whenever Severus would call for it.

Going back into the room again he shut the door and locked it with a locking charm so they wouldn't be disturbed. The last thing he really wanted nor needed was someone like Poppy Pomfrey or even Albus Dumbledore to just pop themselves in unexpectedly. With a tired stretch he went over and got into his own pyjama's, a pair of black cotton linen ones his mother had sent him years ago now, and they were his third favourite pair.

He decided to make one last check on Remus then, just to be sure he was was alright. As he approached the bed he saw Remus had twisted off the duvet so he recovered him gently. As he leaned over Remus to finish covering him up he felt Remus move underneath him and give a small whimper. Alarmed he looked up straight into the now open eyes of Remus J. Lupin.

He felt himself holding his breath as he got lost in those warm golden brown eyes yet again. Beautiful, mesmerizing and entrancing eyes. Severus wanted to get lost forever in them, and he very well could have. Time seemed to stand still, he wasn't even sure he could breath anymore. He heard a sound then, and realized it was himself. One word, one question. "Remus?"

At hearing his name Remus's fog filled mind seemed to register who the person was leaning over him, even if he wasn't sure why. Somewhere a part of his brain registered what had been said, that for the second time Remus could ever remember, Severus had said his first name. It wasn't just the name that filtered through his mind, it was how he had said it. He had never heard his name said in that way before, and he found himself more than liking it.

Severus hadn't know how good his voice had sounded when he had said Remus's name, but Remus was acutely aware of it. Velvety, silky soft, tender yet laced with a huskiness Remus hadn't missed. Sexy. Sensual. His voice penetrated down into the very depths of Remus's soul, and he shivered slightly as thoughts began to roam through his mind.

Severus picked up the shiver however and became concerned. "Are you cold?" he asked softly, though he didn't break eye contact. He didn't think he could.

Remus nodded his head. He was cold, but not the cold that was part of the dungeons. It was an internal chill, one that a duvet nor a fire could heat up. Only one thing could do that, and he wanted it more then the world. He sensed Severus shift to get up, and put a shaking hand out to stop him. "No..." he whispered.

"But...you're cold...I should get another duvet..." Severus said in that same voice, the voice that was wrapping itself round Remus better then any duvet ever could.

Remus didn't trust his own voice any longer but he did manage to speak somehow. "No...no duvet...you..." he whispered in an unsteady voice.

Severus didn't move. He couldn't have just heard what he thought he heard. "M-me?" he half whispered, afraid almost of the answer.

Remus didn't speak, just nodded and looked deeper into Severus's eyes. He saw a lot of emotions, some he didn't understand for as foggy as he still was, but a few he did. One in particular. One in which he was the most surprised."Stay..." he finally whispered. And as soon as he said that he knew...knew that he wanted Severus beside him more than anything in the world, despite the fact he no longer remembered why.

All that Remus could remember was something about a book. Something from inside that book that was supposed to be important, but for his life he couldn't remember what. The only thing he was sure of was that he wanted...needed even...Severus to be near him, because in Remus's mind, that was the only place Severus Snape should ever be.

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