When Good Potions Go Bad

Chapter 4

As Remus put the finishing touches on the final chapter, he was pleased that he had met his deadline with a day to spare. Then the sense of dread set in. He now had nothing to occupy his days. After several arguments with Severus, he had been able to convince his lover to allow him to work in his office during the day. Now, he would have to spend his days with an increasingly cranky Severus. Well, he only had about five weeks to go, and it was likely he would get his draft back in the next two or three, which would give him another excuse for time alone.

The rest of the afternoon went better than he expected. Strangely, Severus was reading one of his books. He had always gotten the impression that Severus didn't quite approve of the fact that he wrote romance novels. This was the first time he could recall seeing Severus read one.

The first week passed rather uneventfully, stress levels having been dramatically reduced by the completion of the first draft of the novel. Once again, they were enjoying each other's company.

After dinner, they were listening to the Wizarding Wireless when an owl scratched at the window. Remus let it in, and after retrieving the letter, he watched it fly over to the owl perch. Reading the front of the letter, he saw that it was from Hermione.

"Hermione and Harry have invited us to dinner Friday," he announced. Long ago, he had learned that it was best to mention Harry's name second.

"I am not going out like this," Severus insisted as he pointed at his protruding belly.

Remus sighed. "You haven't been out of the house for weeks. It would be good for you to get out. This is a dinner to celebrate the fact I've finished the draft of the book. Besides, it's not like they don't know."

"She would tell Potter, wouldn't she?" Severus sneered.

Remus moved so that he could rub Severus's shoulders. "It'll be good for you. I'm going to let them know we'll be there."

"I'm not going," Severus said defiantly.

Remus smiled slyly. "Of course you aren't." He pulled a piece of parchment from the small writing desk and penned a quick reply letting them know that he and Severus would be there.

***************

Friday evening Severus was still grousing about not going.

"Severus, this is a momentous occasion for me. You know we always have a celebratory dinner when I finish a novel. It's a tradition I don't want to change now. It's a private, quiet dinner at their house. I'm not asking you to go out in public. Though, if you want to stay here, you'll be on your own for dinner, and I don't think there's much to eat in the house." He had done that on purpose, knowing that if there were no food, it would help pressure Severus into coming. "And we won't stay late. Hermione won't want to be up late either."

Severus snorted and crossed his arms. "Don't expect me to carry the conversation."

Remus smiled warmly and gave Severus a kiss. "Of course not. I expect you to be your usual, surly self. You know, if you let yourself, I'm sure you could have a rather pleasant evening."

"Not likely at any event that Potter attends," he said dryly.

Remus sighed. "Have it your way, but it's time for us to go."

Severus struggled to his feet. "Two hours. We leave at nine, and hopefully I can get some sleep tonight. This...infernal child won't stop kicking."

That was a fact that Remus was very well acquainted with, since Severus did not seem to believe that Remus should be allowed a full night's rest either.

When they arrived at the Potters' house, Remus rang the bell. Hermione answered the door, and he greeted her with a small hug and a kiss on the cheek. "Hermione, you look wonderful."

She patted her expansive stomach. "Down to the homestretch." She smiled warmly at Severus. "Good to see you, too, Severus. How are you feeling?" She stood aside to let them into the house.

"Adequate," he replied gruffly.

Remus chuckled softly and placed his arm around Severus. "As you can see, some things just don't change. Where's Harry?"

"He's out back. It's a nice enough day that we decided to eat out in the garden." She led them through the house and out the back door.

As they walked through the door, there was a loud chorus of "Congratulations!"

Remus watched the color drain from his partner's face. All of the author's close friends were there. Arthur and Molly Weasley, Minerva McGonagall, Neville and Luna Longbottom, Fred and George. He stopped looking around as Severus gripped his arm tightly. He could tell that Severus wanted nothing more than to leave. "Smile, love," he whispered.

Molly stepped up and hugged them both. "Congratulations. I hope you don't mind, but I pulled the news out of Arthur, and I just had to throw a shower for the two of you. Come now, Severus, this is a happy occasion."

Severus whispered hoarsely, "We're leaving."

"No. We're not. Our friends went through a lot of trouble to be here, and you are going to enjoy yourself."

"Your friends, not mine," muttered Severus.

Remus ignored the comment as he led Severus over to his chair. Molly almost immediately brought them each some pumpkin juice. Severus did not look at all pleased.

Remus smiled reassuringly at Molly. "He'll come around as this gets going. I think he secretly enjoys parties." He winked.

Molly replied, "This is such wonderful news. I wish you had told us earlier. I'm more than happy to help out."

"It's a bit of a touchy subject," Remus replied evasively.

"Well, let's liven this up a bit, shall we?" Turning to face everyone, Molly announced, "Now that our guest of honor is here, it's time to play a few games before we eat."

Severus leaned over and whispered apprehensively, "Games?"

Remus shrugged. "I've never been to one of these before."

Molly held out a ball of yarn. "Now, our first game will be 'Guess the Girth'. For those who don't know, we each cut a length of yarn, and whoever guesses closest, wins."

Remus realized that Severus looked absolutely mortified. "Severus, it's all in fun. Please, try to relax and enjoy yourself."

"You had better win this," Severus growled. He watched as each person rolled out a length of string. He saw Hermione wrapping hers around her waist. "She's cheating!" he accused as he pointed at her.

Molly laughed softly. "There's no rule against that, dear. It's all for fun anyway."

Remus took longer than anyone else. If anyone should have an advantage, it should be him. After he finally cut his length of yarn, he handed the ball to Severus, who looked decidedly unhappy about having to stand up.

Once Severus had cut his own piece, Molly took it and compared it to hers. She was several inches too short. Fred and George were slightly closer, but still too short. Remus was surprised to see they had each chosen exactly the same length of yarn. When Hermione's was measured as several inches too long, he saw a smug smile emerge on Severus's face, and he placed his hand on his partner's leg.

When it was Remus's turn, the twins were still the closest. He noticed Severus watching him intently. His yarn was a little long, but unfortunately, the twins were just a little bit closer.

"I can't believe you didn't get that right," Severus said dryly.

Remus chuckled softly. "Well, maybe I'll do better in the next one."

Molly seemed as surprised as everyone else that Fred and George had won. "Well, I think the two of you got lucky this time. Let's see how well you two do on the next one." She grinned mischievously. "For the next challenge, timed diapering. Since we have people here that haven't had experience yet, current parents will go first. Arthur, if you please."

Severus leaned over and whispered, "Diapering a doll?"

"It's a skill that you will have to learn at some point. Why not now?" Remus asked jovially. He was thoroughly enjoying himself and hoped that some of his good mood would rub off onto Severus. As everyone took their turns diapering, Remus continued sneaking glances at Severus. It was obvious that he was taking enjoyment in watching those with no diapering experience attempt the task. An actual smile broke out in his face when Molly thought that Fred was doing entirely too well and animated the doll with a flick of her wand, so that he was now faced with a doll that wriggled itself right out of the diaper.

"Aw, Mum, that wasn't fair," he complained.

"Since when have you believed in fair?" she countered.

"She's got a point," George chimed in.

"Why you..." Fred said as he lunged at his brother.

"Boys!" Molly shouted, and both of them froze where they were and regained their seats. "Remus, let's see how you do," she said once order was restored.

Remus rolled up his sleeves and stood over the doll, waiting for her to say 'go'. He worked quickly, but as he was fastening the last safety pin, he poked his finger and stuck it in his mouth to stop the bleeding.

"Well, at least you didn't poke the baby," Molly said as she glanced at Hermione, who flushed bright red.

"Severus? Care to give it a go?" Molly asked.

While he might have been inclined to beg off, everyone was cheering him on, and the festive mood was contagious. "I'm sure that I can do a better job than Remus," he said arrogantly.

Remus moved out of the way, sweeping his hand toward the changing table. "Be my guest." He then stood just to the side, crossed his arms and smiled smugly.

"Are you going to sit down?" Severus asked shortly.

"I want to see how the master does it," Remus replied glibly.

"Take notes," Severus replied while waiting for his cue to start.

Remus watched as Severus quickly and deftly diapered the doll. He handled the pins smoothly, with fingers that were used to doing intricate work with sharp instruments. When finished, Severus smiled smugly at Remus.

"Oh, Severus, that was very close, but not quite. The best of the first timers, though, and still better than Arthur," Molly said sarcastically as she shot a look of disappointment at her husband.

"I'm out of practice. It's been twenty years since we had children in diapers, and you have not let me near the grandchildren."

"Well, that's about to change. Dinner should be ready by now, so why don't we all get something to eat, and then I have some special entertainment planned." With a wave of her wand, various dishes flew through the back door and alighted on the table.

"What sort of special entertainment?" Severus asked Remus.

"I have no idea. Remember, I wasn't consulted on this party. You do seem to be enjoying yourself."

"I can think of more enjoyable ways to spend an evening, but this is not completely intolerable."

Remus couldn't help but smile. He knew this was as close as Severus would come to admitting he was having a good time. Since dinner was more of a buffet, Remus mingled with everyone who had shown up, catching up with people he hadn't seen for a while. He noticed that Hermione and Fleur were sitting on either side of Severus, keeping him from feeling lonely and presumably offering advice. When he saw that even Severus was not immune to Fleur's charms, it brought a broad grin to his face. Severus's expression softened as he spoke with the two young women.

After they had finished eating the marvelous meal that Molly and Hermione had prepared and opening gifts, Arthur pulled out a Muggle contraption.

"Now then, it took me ages to charm this to work, but I think it's worth it. The Muggles call it karaoke, and it works a bit like the Wireless, except we'll be the ones singing along."

Remus noticed that Severus looked horrified.

"I've managed to get it to play nursery rhymes, many thanks to Hermione for helping out with that. So, I'll get started first." He gave the monitor a tap of his wand, and the whole thing flashed to life. With a little help from Hermione, he was able to pull up a song.

The karaoke was easily the most entertaining part of the evening. It turned out that Neville and Fleur were the only ones truly capable of carrying a tune, though Remus was sure that Fred and George had been horrible on purpose. Fleur had done a beautiful rendition of Alouette that brought a tear or two to the eyes of a few guests. As for the other selections, they left everyone laughing and having a good time, even Severus.

"Do you want to give it a go?" Remus asked.

"Me? Sing?" Severus was aghast.

Remus leaned over and gave him a kiss. "You have such a wonderful singing voice in the shower," he teased. "Come on, I'll perform a duet with you," he said playfully.

Severus was in far too good a mood to put up any real objection. Remus was feeling especially playful and mischievous, so he selected Supercalifragilisticexpialidocious. "We'll swap off on the verses and do the refrain together. I'll go first."

"Super-what?" Severus asked.

"Supercalifragilisticexpialidocious, just follow my lead." He started the song before Severus could object.

By the time they finished the song, everyone was laughing so hard they were crying. Despite his best efforts, Severus had been unable to pronounce the word smoothly.

Once Remus had regained his poise, he said to everyone, "Molly, Hermione, Arthur, everyone, thank you very much for a wonderful evening. We've both had a wonderful time, but we really must be going now." They had to endure one final round of congratulations before they were allowed to leave, and Arthur promised that he would bring the gifts by tomorrow.

***********

When they arrived home, Remus still had a broad grin on his face. "Tell me that you didn't enjoy yourself?" he dared.

Severus opened his mouth as though to reply that he hadn't, but then he closed it. Deciding not to answer, he instead gave Remus a passionate kiss. "Not as much as that," he replied. Shoving Remus toward the bedroom, he said, "Now, tell me again that you had nothing to do with that."

"Not one blessed thing. I can't help it if Arthur can't keep a secret."

"Evidently, neither can you," Severus retorted.

Remus let his hands caress his lover's body. "Not about this. You can't tell me you aren't ecstatic about having this child. About having a little bit of you continue on in the world."

"Does there really need to be more of me in the world?"

Remus ripped into Severus's robes. "Absolutely. The world would be boring without people like you."

************

A week of relative peace came to an end as Remus got the draft of his novel back from his editor. Going through the changes recommended by his editor always required a great deal of concentration. Unfortunately, he was not able to concentrate.

With only a couple of weeks to go, Severus was quite miserable. The Healers were insisting that he carry the child to term. Due to his heavily swollen stomach, he was now having a hard time getting up from his chair, which meant that anytime he was hungry or thirsty, Remus was called to get a snack from the kitchen for him. When he had to go to the bathroom, which was quite frequently, Remus had to help him. Add to that the fact that Severus was not sleeping through the night due to his discomfort, which meant that Remus was not sleeping through the night either, and all of this was leading to a great deal of tension.

"Remus!" Severus called from the living room for the eighth time that morning.

He slammed his quill onto the desk. Storming into the living room, he asked angrily, "What? What could you possibly want now? You've just returned from the bathroom, and your glass of water is still half full."

Severus looked as though he had been slapped. "Why are you yelling at me?"

"Because I can't get anything done. I haven't slept properly in days. In short, you are driving me insane," he snapped. At this point, he did not care that he was hurting Severus's feelings. After all of the inconvenience he had been through, perhaps this was what the man needed to realize how idiotic he was acting.

"Oh, it's all my fault, is it? You did this to me! This is as much your fault as mine," Severus retorted.

"No, it's not. You did this to yourself with your experimenting with those fertility potions. All you saw was the fame and glory you would gain by being the one to perfect them. I've seen how you brew potions; you take shortcuts."

"Are you calling me careless?"

"Call it what you will, but this is your own damn fault. Now, since I actually have work to do, I'm going out, and I don't know when I'll be back." He stormed back into his office, collected his manuscript and headed out the front door. He could hear Severus calling his name, but he did not care. All he knew was that if he did not get out of the house for a while, he was going to lose his mind. He went to the one place where he knew he would be guaranteed quiet, the Wizarding Library in Diagon Alley.

After he had worked on the manuscript for three straight hours, he decided to take a break. As he was walking through the stacks, he remembered that full moon was the day after tomorrow, and that he needed to go home for his potion. He knew that he should not have gone off on Severus like that, but he had not been able to contain himself any longer. Since Severus was guaranteed to be angry with him, he decided to work until the library closed, and then he would pick up something for dinner on the way home.

When he entered the house, it was quiet and dark. "Severus?" he asked cautiously.

"What do you want?" came the terse reply.

With a wave of his wand, he lit the lamps. "I'm sorry about my outburst earlier. I shouldn't have said those things to you. I really do love you, and I know that this has been very hard for you."

"You don't know how it's been for me. You don't know what it's like to have no control over what's happening to your body, to go through an unwanted change."

Remus could tell that Severus was crying and placed his hand on his lover's shoulder for comfort. He replied softly, "As a matter of fact, I do. I just don't have to live with those changes for such a long stretch at once."

Severus's gaze softened momentarily before he shoved Remus's hand away. "You're just here for your bloody Potion."

"Severus, love, that's not why I'm here. I'm here because you need me... Because I need you. We are family and family sticks together, especially when times are tough." He wrapped his arm around Severus. When there was no retort, he said, "I picked up something for dinner. A peace offering."

"What is it?" asked Severus curiously.

"Chinese."

"Well, I suppose we shouldn't let it go to waste."

Remus rose and helped Severus to his feet. "No, we shouldn't."

"Your potion is in the lab."

"Thank you," Remus replied softly. While they ate, he asked, "Have you thought about names?"

"Names?"

"It is a good idea to name a child when it's born," Remus quipped.

"You decide. It doesn't matter to me."

Remus got lost in thought a few moments. "I've been thinking... What about Hubert?"

Severus stopped mid-chew. "Surely you jest."

Remus laughed softly. "I do. I just wanted to get a reaction out of you. See? You do care about the name."

"Fine. I do care. So what?"

Remus reached over and took hold of Severus's hand. "You'll make a fine mother."