Party Animals

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Party Animals

CHAPTER FIVE:

`Things Are Getting Pretty Hairy´

"What the hell are you doing in there, Jim? Trying to make all the urinals invisible again?"

"I believe you did that, Sirius. Not James."

"Oh, yeah. I did, didn´t I? Simply slipped my mind. The urinal thing was pretty funny, wasn't it?"

"A total laugh-riot."

After what seemed to be weeks of nervous waiting, the four Marauders were slowly preparing themselves for the Hallowe´en Ball that night. James, who had been more antsy then the rest of the boys put together, had stubbornly locked himself in the bathroom as he tried to tame his unruly hair. His friends could hear him as he kept mumbling curses, mixed briefly with Lily´s name. This only provoked Sirius to sit by the lavatory door and let out brief fits of loud coughs which sounded suspiciously like the phase `Whipped Berk!´. Remus was paler then ever . . . in yet he still had enough energy to joke with his friends, which was probably the only reason why he hadn't snapped from all of the stress pressing upon him.

"Remember Peter's face when he couldn't find them?" Sirius nudged Remus with his elbow, both of them chuckling to themselves.

"That was not very funny." Peter frowned, sending a glare towards the other two boys. "You three could have just told me that they were invisible, but no - You wanted to see me suffer."

"Think nothing of it, Wormtail." Sirius slapped Peter on the back. "That's what friends are for."

As Peter murmured something about getting new friends, James finally stepped out of the bathroom with absolute flourish. Incredibly, two hours and several charms seemed to have no affect whatsoever on his hair. In fact, it looked as though it could even rival Phiona´s frizzy bird´s nest.

"So?" he pressed hopefully, motioning to his hair like a Muggle shampoo as gone horribly wrong. "How bad is it?"

"Remind me to pity your future children, Prongs," Sirius grimaced, shaking his head in complete disgust.

Why? The fact that the poor child would have James Potter for a father?" Remus questioned, deciding to join Sirius's mean little game.

Sirius ruffed James's hair, which only made its sad state worse. "That and the poor kid will have to wear a hat for the rest of its life."

"My God." Remus put a hand to his heart, pretending to act shocked. "You it´s . . . hereditary?"

"If it is, then we better get old Jimmy-boy neutered," Sirius grinned evilly. "Before the horrid 'Potter hair' strikes another generation."

"Are you two quite done yet?" James muttered, not looking very amused. "Or is this going to be going on all night?"

"All night," Sirius said almost lazily. "But we're starting to run out of material. There are only so many bad hair jokes in the world, you know."

"Thank God," James said, fixing the collar of his dress robes. "Now, are we ready to go?"

There was an unsettling silence that flowed easily through the dorm. All eyes were on Remus, who nervously glanced out the window to avoid any eye-contact. A shadow of the full moon glared threateningly against the darkening sky.

"Don't worry about it, Moony." Sirius gave a bracing smile, trying his best to comfort his friend. "We'll get you in there. You can do a little mingling -- et cetra, et cetra, et cetra -- then we'll get you out of there before the moon breaks the clouds and you'll be transforming happily under your tree. No worries."

Peter looked around nervously, wringing his hands. "But what is there are problems?" he asked fearfully. "What if Remus transforms before we can get him out?"

Sirius threw a glare at Peter. "Is the glass never half full with you? Of course we´ll get him out." He crossed his arms stubbornly and added under his breath, "It will work."

Remus didn't look so sure, however. As he glanced out the window again, the shadow of the moon hit him. A dull ache pulled through his skull and spread through his body.

James put a friendly arm on his friend's shoulder. "Nothing will go wrong, Remus. But if it does, we've got Phinny as back up. She'd rather eat in dragon dung then let something happen to one of us."

"You're right." Remusfinally turned away from the window. "I don't know why I'm so worried . . . It's all going to work out."

"There's a good man." Sirius smiled, clapping Remus on the back. "Now, come on. I believe you three have some lovely birds waiting downstairs for you."

Adjusting their dress robes, the four Marauders finally made their way down the spiral staircase. The Gryffindor common room looked very strange, full of people wearing different colours instead of the usual mass of black. Lily was near one of the couches, chatting cheerfully with several other giddy girls. As soon as she caught sight caught sight of the boys, Lily carved through the crowd towards them, her pearl white robes complementing her red hair and the wide smile on her face.

"Thanks for coming with me, James," she said when she arrived, giving her boyfriend a kiss on the corner of his mouth.

"Why wouldn't I?" asked James with a sly grin on his face.

"Oh, I know how you hate these things," said Lily. "I was surprised when you brought it up in Herbology. Thought you of all people would run and hide as soon as you found out about it."

Sirius snorted into his sleeve as James forced a nervous laugh.

"Huh," James mumbled sheepishly, shooting a glare of warning at Sirius. "Imagine that . . ."

Chandra, wearing robes of gold, and Jazlan, who wore robes of bright yellow, soon came over to join the little group. Both looked as happy as Lily as they chatted with Remus and Peter. Sirius, however, became a bit antsy. He was most certainly out of his prime, missing the beautiful girls he should be having on each arm.

"Er . . . Lil´?" Sirius glanced around the common room. "Have you seen Phinny yet?"

Lily rolled her eyes. "Oh, she's around somewhere," she said. "You know Phiona, she absolutely hates getting dressed up. She probably ditched the ball to hide exploding pasties in the food or make sure every beverage contains some sort of alcohol."

"And miss the opportunity to see the Marauders make complete arses out of themselves? Not a chance, Lil', not a chance."

A girl stepped out of the crowd, wearing dress robes of metallic-aquamarine. Her hair was sleek and shimmering, glittering with what looked like hundreds of diamonds. Around her neck was a tiny dragon tooth on a sliver chain.

"Phiona?" Lily squealed girlishly. "Oh, you look absolutely wicked!"

"Don´t start with me, Evans." Phiona crossed her arms impatiently, not looking pleased at all. "Honestly, I was just going to come down in my Quidditch robes. But, one of my friends from the dorm forced me into this thing," she grimaced, rubbing the back of her neck as if she wasn´t use to what was done to her wild mane. "Jess did my hair with absolute flourish. You don't know how much I want to stick my head down a toilet and - What the hell are you looking at?"

Phiona finally noticed Sirius gawking at her, his mouth hanging wide open. The rest of the Marauders, too, stood in awe. They had never seen their friend without her frizzy hair and worn out school robes. Phiona looked like a whole different person, though nothing could wash away her sarcastic attitude.

"Dear God, I knew I let Jess go overboard with all this ball shit." Phiona angrily pulled out one of the tiny diamonds, making a small strand of hair fall in front of her right eye. "Here, you wankers, help me take all these bloody things out."

"No," Sirius said, finally remembering how to speak again. "No . . . you look . . . wonderful . . ."

Phiona stopped picking at her hair and raised an eyebrow, not knowing what to make of her friend. "Right then," she said slowly. "Black? Are you drunk?"

James coughed, breaking the awkward pause that would most likely occur on Sirius´s side of the fence. "Well then, we'd better be off. Time's wasting." He caught Remus's eye with a sideways glance.

"Right," agreed Remus, who couldn't help but glance out the window at the moon, which was still shrouded in dark clouds.

The group slowly made their way through the common room and towards the Great Hall, which took longer then usual since everywhere was completely packed with giddy students in their dress robes. The Great Hall itself was worth the monotonous trip, though. Several live bats were flying around the hundreds of lit jack-o'-lanterns, which levitated a few feet above everyone's heads. The four house tables had been removed and were replaced by several round tables, which were distributed around the outskirts of the hall, each lit by three white candles. Drapes of black, gold, and blood-red had been placed over the large windows, giving the hall an eerie appearance since the only lights in the room came from the jack-o'-lanterns and the flickering candles on the tables. A band was setting up in one corner of the hall, thousands of small, white candles illuminating their stage.

"Oh good," mumbled Phiona absentmindedly as she and her fellow Gryffindors walked pass the band. "Eye of Newt. They're much better then those other blokes with the bagpipes."

"And they're rather attractive, aren't they?" Lily commented to Phiona, as both concentrated unusually hard on a twenty-something year old wizard who had just taken a guitar out of its case.

"Oh, they probably can't even string two words together," said James irritably.

"Mmmmm?" Lily mumbled, apparently too entranced with the gorgeous young musician to listen to anyone at the moment.

James shook his head in complete disgust. He took Lily by the arm and literally pulled her to a small table, as far away from the walking testosterone-fest as humanly possible. Remus, Chandra, Jazlan, and Peter also left, succouring their own tables.

Feeling quite uncomfortable with being by himself, Sirius glanced around, looking to strike up a conversation with Phiona. Phinny, however, had a little barricade of boys around her already, all trying to drum up conversations of their own. Something turned irritably in Sirius's stomach. 'Where do they get off trying to pick up my date?' he thought. It took him a while to remember that Phiona wasn't his date. Oops . . .

"Excuse me? Sirius?"

Completely startled from his deep thoughts, Sirius jumped backward, almost bowling over the short girl who had spoken to him.

"Oh . . .erm, sorry 'bout that," Sirius mumbled as he regained his balance.

The girl blushed profusely, apparently not noticing or caring that she had almost been stepped on. "Ummm . . . I'm Julia . . . I was in you Potions class last year? . . . You asked me if you could borrow some of my fish intestines?"

Sirius nodded slowly, having no clue what the girl was going on about.

The girl turned a deep purple. "Oh . . .well . . . I was just - just wondering if you would like to . . ." she choked, suddenly looking as though she was going to vomit. "Dance . . .with me?"

"Dance?" Sirius just seemed to notice that the band struck up a loud, energetic song. He glanced back towards Phiona (who was already out on the dance floor with the captain of the Ravenclaw Quidditch team) and then glanced down at the girl in front of him, who looked as though she would burst into tears if he refused.

Sirius gave her a warm smile. "Sure," he said. "I'd love to dance with you."

The girl's eyes went wide as she squeaked something in reply, apparently dumbfounded that Sirius had actually excepted.

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Sirius found that going by himself to the Halloween ball was quite satisfying. After one song, the short girl ran off, still blushing a deep red. Seeing that he had no partners, girls literally threw themselves at Sirius, who very much enjoyed the experience. It actually took him a while to pry himself away from all the attention.

"You sure look like you're having more fun then you're suppose to."

Sirius weaved his way around the crowd to find Phiona leaning against one of the round tables. She seemed as though she was in her element, a look usually only reserved for the Quidditch pitch. The strand of hair was still covering her right eye, but the left one was bright and alive, seemingly gleaming with excitement.

"What can I say?" Sirius smiled. "I've got that certain animal magnetism."

"Yeah right, Black," Phiona said, clearly unimpressed. "If you have animal magnetism then I'm giving birth to Hungarian Horntail."

"Ouch, that's going to hurt," Sirius said. "But, it seems like your little followers don't mind too much." He nodded towards the group of boys who were all staring intensely at Phiona. One of them gave Sirius a very dirty look.

"I can't get rid of them." Phiona blew the piece of hair out of her eyes; it just fell back in front of her face. "Those little gits are mosquitoes. Buzzing around, bugging the hell out of me, just trying to get a chance to nibble at my neck."

Sirius snorted at is friend's bluntness. "Well then," he said. "Now you know what really makes men tick."

Phiona gave a half-grimace. "God, I really didn't need to realize that." She looked towards the direction of her little group, who all smiled and waved. "Honestly, don't they know that they're all acting like complete berks?"

"No," Sirius replied. "They're not acting like berks, they're just acting like blokes." The Ravenclaw Quidditch captain shot Sirius a warning glare. To retort, Sirius put a friendly arm around Phiona, making the group of boys even more irritated.

Phiona, not noticing the ongoing war between her friend and her followers, glanced around the dance floor. "So . . . Remus has really been doing his job, hasn't he? I haven't seen him all night and he promised me a dance."

Something hit Sirius right then and there, which led him to ask, "Phiona? Could I ask you something about you . . . and Remus?"

"No, I didn´t put that piranha in his knickers drawer."

"That´s not what I meant, but I´ll keep it in mind," Sirius mused. "Er, I heard - from Remus, mind you - that you and him were . . . God, Phin, this is so idiotic. I know it can´t be true, but I have to ask."

"Spit it out, honey."

"Have you and Remus ever - you know . . . copped off?"

Phiona´s face cracked into a smile. The same smile she used when explaining to Professor Gemar that turning her caldron into a wild boar was completely an accident. "Once," she replied, the ends of her mouth twitching."

Sirius arched an eyebrow, his heart momentarily stopping. "You´re . . . you´re serious?"

"No, you´re Sirius." An evilly gleeful smile grew over Phiona´s face.

"Phinny, just tell me you´re joking . . . please?"

"Oh, but I´m not joking," Phiona´s grin almost became unbearable.

"You and Remus planed this to give me a heart attack, didn´t you?"

"Do you want details? I can tell you that he steals the covers--"

"You two belong in St. Mungo´s together."

"Oooo . . . and he howls!"

"Phinny, stop it!"

"What´s the matter, Black?" Phiona asked between her cat-like smirk. "Jealous?"

"Not even close, Love." Sirius could hear his heart beat pounding in his ears. "Now, why don´t you run off to your group of boyfriends and go sleep with them? I´ll tell Remus where you are so he can join you later."

Phiona's eyes flashed, looking a bit shocked at Sirius´ jab. "I'll pretend I didn't hear that, bucko," she said, taking Sirius' arm off of her. "Now, I'm going to check for Lupin, see if he started to grow a tail or something. Why don´t you just sit here and remember how to take a joke?"

As Phiona walked back into the crowd, her beautiful robes flowing like an aquamarine ghost, Sirius smacked himself in the forehead. How could he be so dense? Why was he acting like this? It couldn't be jealousy . . . could it?

Shoulders drooped, Sirius walked over to an empty table and sat down. He slumped down as far as possible into his chair, hands cupping his flushed face.

"What's wrong, Padfoot? Having trouble with the birds?"

Sirius looked up in-between his fingers. Remus stood in front of him, two bottles of butterbeer in hand and a slight smile on his face.

"Basically," Sirius mumbled, leaning back in his chair. He ran a hand through his over-grown hair and motioned for his fellow Marauder to take a chair next to him. "And not just any bird, mind you. The head hen."

Remus slowly took a seat. "Phinny?"

"The one and only," Sirius nodded grimly. "Christ, how could I be such a bastard?"

"Do you really want me to answer that question, or keep it rhetorical?"

"Wank off, Lupin." As punishment for poking fun, Sirius stole a bottle of butterbeer from Remus´s hand, opened it with utter relish, and took a go long drain out of it. "Where´d you fetch the butterbeer from? I thought they were only giving out punch."

"They are." Remusstretched out in his chair. "But James ran out to Hogsmeade under the secret passage and got us a stock load. Apparently, he doesn't trust you and your infatuation with spiking beverages."

"Jimmy's got brains," Sirius commented. "Of course, I'm not spiking anything tonight. I made a promise."

"That's never stopped you before."

"True," Sirius shrugged. He leaned forward a bit, just to hold the conversation between the two of them. "So, how are you holding out, Wolf-boy?"

Remus suddenly looked paler then ever. "It's great," he said. "Chandra and I are having a great time together. She and her friends are over with Lily right now, you know, girl talk. But I'm . . . I'm doing fine . . ."

Sirius took another swallow of butterbeer. "You lie," he said simply.

Remus looked at Sirius. "Right then," he said, leaning in slightly as well. "Physically, I feel like a pile of shit. I swear I'm going to vomit on someone.'

"Very descriptive," Sirius commented thoughtfully. "Continue."

"Mentally, I'm about ready to snap," Remus said. "I've been pulling Chandra around in back, hoping to God that I don't get caught by any of the professors." He took a quick glance at the Professors' table. "And then there's that little voice in the back of my head, telling me that I'd better get the hell out of here . . . now."

"Then tell the little voice to go sit on a pointy fence," Sirius said airily.

"Right, that's real healthy." Remus sat back in his chair, a slight smile appearing on his pale face again. "Arguing with the voices inside my head. Go call St. Mungo's, quick."

Sirius shrugged. "If you insist," he replied. "I'll go shopping for a strait-jacket tomorrow. What are you? A medium or a large?"

"Er . . . don't know. Just, make sure that the sleeves are extra long," Remus chuckled.

"Oh, of course. That goes without saying," said Sirius, the spark back in his bright blue eyes. At this point Phiona Love had been completely forgotten; Sirius´ mind rested on the subject now to fight another day. "And then, James and I can put up padded walls in the dorm."

The two Marauders began to chuckle in spite of themselves. Sirius felt relieved that he could make Remus laugh, even at a time like this. He knew that his friend only had a few short hours left before he had to be locked up underneath the Whomping Willow, transforming into a man-eating beast. But, neither boy wanted to think about that now. It was a night to lose all responsibilities, which usually weighed them down, crushing their spirits. Of course, the realization of the real world soon came back to them in the form of a sallow-faced, hook-nosed, greasy-haired foe.

"Lupin? Don't you have some prior business to attend to? I'm not sure the Professors would like it if they found you here."

Sirius and Remus both turned around and got out of their chairs. Facing them was an easily recognizable Slytherin, his arms crossed and his lip curled into a cruel smile. Facing them was the boy known as Severus Snape.

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