Party Animals

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Party Animals

CHAPTER FOUR:

`Exploding Cabbages Are Always The Answer´

"It´s going to be okay, Moony. We´ll figure something out."

"Stop being an optimist, Peter. It´s really gnawing on my nerves."

"I was just trying to help . . ."

It seemed as though the four Marauders had made a new makeshift home base in a corner of the cluttered Hogwartian library. In a matter of hours, massive piles of parchment and texts built up so high around the boys, Peter had quite a hard time looking over the tall fortress. Madam Pince, the school´s anal-retentive librarian, began to become a bit more edgy by the minute, her eyes barely leaving the Marauders´ encampment. It were boys like these, she knew, that would never think twice about pissing on the Dewey decimal system.

"I say we just don´t go," stated James, who was sitting on one of the long oak tables. "That would solve all of our problems."

"Remus was really looking forward to his date with Chandra, Jim," Sirius mumbled to James so that the other two Marauders couldn´t hear. "He definitely has a flame for that girl. This ball´s going to be a golden opportunity for him."

There was a pause of deep thought drawn out between the two Marauders before Sirius slid off the table besides James. "We could just tell Chandra about Moony´s little problem," he suggested quietly.

James raised an eyebrow, a little shocked at the crazy suggestion. "We´re not even suppose to know about Remus´ secret. If it ever got out in the open--"

"I´d much appreciate it if you included me in this conversation."

James and Sirius slowly turned to face Remus, who was scribbling intensely on a bit of parchment. His face had started to be drained of all colour, an early warning sign of what was in store for him during the full moon.

"Sorry, Moony," James apologized, feeling a bit sheepish for talking behind his friend´s back. "We were just talking about-"

"I heard," Remus tapped his ear, still looking down at his parchment.

"Damn werewolf super-sensitive hearing," Sirius muttered to himself. "I hate it when he does that."

Remus ignored his friend´s comment and continued: "I thought about it for a long time and I came to the only conclusion." he stopped speaking, looked up at his fellow Marauders, and finally handed James the parchment he had been working so hard on.

With Sirius behind his right shoulder and Peter on his left, James began to read: "`Chandra; It has taken me many hours of contemplating the right thing to do. I believe you deserve the truth and all that comes with it. By time you read this, I will be-´ " James stopped short, "Oh shit, Remus! You can´t throw around something like this." He crumbled the parchment in his hands, "You can´t just tell anyone."

Remus´ face was placid. "I told Phiona a couple years ago."

"That´s completely different," Sirius put it. "Phin can be more vicious then the Russian Mafia. You told her because you´d like to keep your knee caps un-shattered."

"I told Phiona because she´s someone close to me. A good friend."

"That and she would have found out sooner or later," James commented. "Just like us. But Chandra . . ."

Remus stood up to his full height, completely expressionless. "Chandra needs an explanation - No, she deserves an explanation. James, I´m tired of hiding from this. I´ve got to make some sacrifices every once and a while. This is just going to be one of them."

"Jesus, this is ludicrous!" Sirius took the note out of James´s hand and looked over it again. "There must be a way to get you into the ball."

Remus curved an eyebrow. "And how do you propose we do that, Sirius? Put me on a leash and pretend I´m Peter´s new doggy?"

Peter whimpered at the thought of him leading around a man-eating werewolf.

"There must be a way," pressed James, running a hand through his tousled hair. "There´s always a loop-hole."

"I can´t just waltz into the ball, Prongs," commented Remus. "Dumbledore and all the other Professors know I should be transforming in that old house in Hogsmeade. I´ll get caught."

"That´s never stopped you before," Sirius said, giving his friend an encouraging smile.

Remus frowned a little, causing Sirius´ grin to dissolve. "This is not some half-witted prank, Sirius. I have certain responsibilities. If I transform during the ball, I´m putting everyone´s lives at risk."

Sirius still wasn´t convinced, "That´s only if you transform during the ball."

"Oh God, Padfoot," Remus snorted, trying to hold back his laughter. "Unless you come up with a cure between now and-"

"I´m not talking about a cure," said Sirius, bending down to sort through a pile of crumbled parchment. "I´m talking about good timing. The ball starts at nine, doesn´t it? And ends around twelve."

"And you always say that you transform around mid-night, when all the clouds are gone and the moon´s at its highest point," James picked up Sirius´s point. "So, if we smuggle you out around eleven, you´ll have plenty of time to-"

"Oh no," Remus cut James off, shaking his head and walking backwards from his friends. "I´m not -- I can´t --"

"You are and you can," Sirius crossed his arms, completely stubborn. He loved playing the devil´s advocate.

Remus paused, thinking for a second. Before he got a chance to retort, though, Peter piped up:

"How are we going to sneak him in?" he asked, his voice squeaking. "If we get caught by any Professors . . ."

"You´re not helping, Wormtail," Sirius elbowed Peter in the ribs, making the smaller boy squawk in pain.

"We´ll figure that part out later," James took off his glasses and cleaned the smudged lens with a fistful of robes. "Right now, we need to think up a way to get Remus out before his transformation."

"Woah, woah, woah. When did I agree to go?" Remus exclaimed.

James put his glasses back on and placed a hand on Remus´ shoulder, "For once, don´t think with your brain, Moony. Think with your heart."

Sirius snorted with laughter, breaking any sentimental value left in the conversation. "You better agree with Jamesy-boy or he´ll get even more soft and fluffy," he smirked. "Next, he´ll make you read romance novels, pick flowers, and cross-stitch pillows."

As James heaved a particularly heavy book at Sirius´s head in retaliation, Remus took a deep breath and sat on top of the oak table.

"Fine," he said, "I´ll go."

"Now, there´s a good man!" Sirius smiled, hiding behind Remus so James couldn´t throw another book at him. "There´s the chaotic Marauder we all know and love!"

"Yeah, well," Remus shrugged, smiling for the first time all night. "I really do want to go to the ball with Chandra. I´m not about to let a little thing like a full moon get in my way, am I?"

"Amen!" Sirius exclaimed in agreement.

"I still don´t think this is such a good idea," muttered Peter, looking at his fellow Marauders with concern. "How are we suppose to get Remus out of the ball and under the Whomping Willow before twelve?"

"A distraction, of course," said James, as if it was the most obvious thing on earth. "Some extra strength dung bombs, a couple of ever-bashing boomerangs, spontaneous combusting pasties."

"Or I could just spike the punch." suggested Sirius gleefully.

James shook his in complete disgust, "I don´t think so. No matter how much fun that sounds, I really don´t was to be the responsible for what happens when half of Hogwarts gets soused out of their minds."

"Fine then," Sirius agreed reluctantly. "Just get me some peanut butter, keys to the girls´ lavatories, fifteen minutes, and I can throw together som-"

"Not a chance in hell, Padfoot," Remus crossed his arms with a slight smile on his face. "Remember what happened last time we gave you an open jar of peanut butter?"

"Oh . . . . I forgot about that . . . ."

"What we need is a professional," said James, leaning on the oak table. "Someone who could create some chaos at a moments notice, just in case something does go wrong. We need a master of distraction-"

plop . . . plop . . . BOOOOOMMMMMMM!

As if on cue, a loud explosion sounded from out side the doors of the library. It was followed by several more eruptions and a multitude of people screaming. A couple of seconds later, a grinning Phiona Love walked in, complete with bits of lettuce in her frizzy hair. When she saw the Marauders, she strolled over to them, her dark eyes bright and flashing.

"Having fun, Phin?" Sirius asked, nodding toward the doors of the library, from which screaming could still be heard.

"Loads," Phiona smiled, picking bits of vegetation out of her hair.

"What . . . What did you do?" Peter asked, wincing, as if he was afraid of the impending answer.

"Made a dozen or so rotten cabbages explode in the corridor, which just happened to be filled with a bunch of Slytherins at the time," Phiona replied, as if it was a normal, everyday activity. She sat down in a chair, kicked off her shoes, and put her feet on the oak table. "It was quite invigorating. You boys should try it sometime."

The four Marauders all exchanged slow, meaningful glances. They then all turned towards Phiona, looking at her as if she was their messiah.

Phiona raised an inquisitive eyebrow. "What?" she asked. "Do I have a bogey hanging from my nose?"

James smiled. "Gentlemen," he addressed his fellow Marauders. "I believe we have our distraction . . ."

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