Unexpected Love

Unexpected Love

---

Unexpected Declarations

The Malfoy list had more entries the next morning, Harry noticed. One of them was in small, neat writing, and read '13. It's what he deserves for having abused his power in the Inquisition Squad.' Harry asked Hermione, 'Like taking points off you for being Muggle-born?'

She nodded, not pretending innocence this time.

Harry studied the list. 'I'm falling behind. I haven't put any reasons on it.'

'There's plenty of space still,' said Ron. 'But you're right, you have to add at least as many reasons as I did.'

During a free period that afternoon, Harry added '17. He always had an elevated opinion of himself,' noticing with amusement that the list had gained three more reasons since that morning, including 'He's contributing to the Make Colin Rich fund.'

'Right,' said Ron, 'let's see who can come up with the next reason.'

Harry smiled, but had something else on his mind. 'While Hermione's not here,' she was in her Advanced Ancient Runes class, 'how are you two getting on? I got the impression after the Yule Ball that you were ... well, close, and the perfume you gave her last Christmas, uh, well, that was romantic, wasn't it?'

Ron's ears were reddening. Harry pressed on. 'But you don't seem to be going out, not like Ginny with Dean, Seamus and Neville.'

'Neville? You're joking! I thought it was just Seamus and Dean.'

'No. I thought you knew.'

Ron shrugged. 'She doesn't talk to me about that sort of thing.'

'You changed the subject. Look, am I just being thick here, and not noticing something about you two?'

'No,' mumbled Ron. 'Hermione's not my girlfriend or anything.'

'I don't mind, you know.'

'Yes, I know. There's nothing. Yes, Hermione's OK, I like her as a friend, but ... she's not my type, really.'

Harry winced at the ambiguity. He decided he couldn't bear to wait any longer. 'Ron, you were talking in your sleep the other night ...' He told Ron what he'd heard and seen.

Ron's whole face was now red. 'Oh.' He seemed unable to say more.

To give Ron time to think of what to say, Harry went over to the noticeboard and added '19. He always wanted to stand out in a crowd,' beneath Neville's '18. It's time someone bullied him.' He sat back down, saying, 'Now I'm ahead of you and level with Hermione. Ginny's way ahead of everyone, though; she's done ten.'

'I'll count mine in with hers then as a Weasley project. Harry, look, I don't know what impression you got from what you saw -- what did you think it meant?'

Harry couldn't avoid this any longer. 'I don't know. Malfoy's comments the other day make me think he prefers boys ...'

'You mean he's gay.'

Harry realised that he'd been avoiding saying, or even thinking, the word. 'Yes, he's gay.' He turned red just saying it. 'Anyway, because of him, I'm seeing gay people everywhere. Sorry.'

Ron leant back in his chair. 'Everywhere? Got a list?'

'Well, not Ginny's boyfriends, but ... look, I know you're not really. I just can't help wondering about it, after what Malfoy said.'

Ron paused before asking, 'What would you do if I actually was?'

Harry blinked at Ron, and decided he could only answer by making a joke. 'Uh, I don't know. I suppose it would be like when we found out Hermione was a girl, just before the Yule Ball -- it would be a shock, but I'd get over it.'

'Right. It wasn't a complete shock. We did suspect she might be a girl,' said Ron, grinning at Harry.

'Yeah, there were hints. It was definitely a girl's toilet where the troll had her trapped -- and Percy didn't take points from her for being in Myrtle's toilet, like he did from us.'

'It was a bit suspicious, the number of times we were in girls' toilets in those first two years, wasn't it?'

'It was, yes,' Harry laughed.

'Would it bother you?'

'Huh? Oh, not the toilets, but if you ... uh, if you were, uh, gay?'

'Yes. Would it bother you if I was uhgay?'

'I don't know. I think it'd feel strange. We've been sharing a dormitory for years, and I share your room at the Burrow or at Grim ... London.'

'Well, don't worry about it.'

Harry nodded and concentrated on the Transfiguration essay he was trying to do. After writing one sentence, during which he couldn't get the unanswered question out of his mind, he asked, 'But, are you?'

'Yes! All right?'

'Really?'

'Really. I'm sorry if it bothers you. I never bothered you, though.'

'No, I know you didn't.' He returned to the essay, glancing up occasionally. Ron wasn't looking at him, and the redness of his ears wasn't fading.

Hermione returned to the common room, pausing at the notice board. Harry went to look. '20. It may teach him he isn't always right simply by an accident of birth,' had been added.

'Do you mind? I'm Malfoy's enemy, and you're one ahead of me again!' he scolded, sitting back down.

'He doesn't hate you just because of your birth.'

'No. I don't really object to you adding reasons, I just want to catch up.'

They got on with their homework in silence for a while, before Hermione commented, 'You're both being very quiet.'

'I shocked Harry,' said Ron. 'You probably won't be as shocked, not for the same reasons at least, and I bet he's working out how he can tell you anyway, so I'll tell you first: I'm gay, OK?'

'OK. I did wonder why you didn't seem to want to do anything after the Yule Ball -- anything about us, I mean.'

'That perfume was Ginny's idea, by the way,' he admitted. 'I didn't know what to get you; I didn't think there were any books left in the world you didn't already have.'

'She keeps borrowing it, too,' said Hermione, smiling.

Ron turned to glare over at Ginny, but found she wasn't there to be glared at. He growled, 'I want a word with her!' Hermione laughed.

'I just thought of another one,' said Harry, going back to the noticeboard and adding '21. He doesn't want to be cured, he wants to be taller than Ron.' Sitting back down, he told Hermione, 'Three each, now we're even.'

Ron said, staring from one to the other, 'If I'd known you'd both be this relaxed about my confession, I would have told you both ages ago. I've been worrying about how you'd react.'

Hermione nodded. 'You could have saved all that worrying.'

'I wish I'd known.'

*

Ron apparently told Ginny too, while complaining that she'd tricked him into buying her perfume. Harry wasn't sure if either of them had told Luna, or if it was just coincidence, but she came up to him while the trio were standing in the courtyard at lunchtime the next day.

'I don't understand how a boy can be in love with other boys,' she informed them. 'I'm not in love with any girls; I love you, Harry.'

'You hardly know me!' Harry protested.

'Ginny's told me a lot about you, though, and I hereby announce,' she shouted the rest clearly enough for everyone in the courtyard to hear, 'my love for Harry Potter is eternal, undying, and true!'

'Oh, no,' muttered Harry. Luna didn't hear him; she was marching off around the courtyard, staring at everyone as if daring anyone to disagree with her.

'You deliberately set that up, didn't you, Potter?' demanded Malfoy. Harry looked up -- Malfoy was leaning against the wall below the DADA classroom. 'Well, it won't work. I loved you from the moment I saw you in Madam Malkin's, and I won't be put off by that delusional girl!'

'What?' demanded Marie-Susanne, appearing from the other side of a statue. 'Ah love Harry, not y'all!'

'I've never even spoken to you!' Harry protested, staring spellbound at her beauty. 'How can you say you love someone you don't know?'

'That doesn' mattah. Ah've just as much raht to love y'all at first saht as Mahlfoy has. Therefore, Ah am in love with y'all!' She drew her wand, watched nervously by Harry, but it was Malfoy who she threatened with it. 'Didn't y'all learn your lesson th' first time?'

'Go ahead!' said Malfoy defiantly. 'Do your worst! It can only be an improvement.'

She did her worst. It seemed unlikely that he considered the result an improvement.

The trio looked at each other, each trying not to be the first to laugh. Ron lost the contest, followed by Hermione and lastly Harry.

Harry leant against the wall, laughing uncontrollably. Malfoy was still as stretched out and thin as before, but now he was also covered with white fur and his head was that of a ferret.

'Ah'd heard this story about one of your Dark Arts teachers ...' Marie-Susanne clarified between giggles. She took Malfoy away to see Hagrid, explaining that he was now clearly a Magical Creature rather than a pupil.

*

When they returned to the common room that evening, and were doing their homework, Ron said, 'Look, Harry, as long as everyone else is saying it -- I think I'm in love with you, too. And it's not because they gave me the idea.'

'You are? I thought you weren't.'

'No. I just said I'd never bothered you, and I haven't. And I won't unless ... but I've thought about it. A lot.' The last two sentences were barely above a whisper.

'You and Malfoy, Luna and Marie-Susanne. Two boys, two girls. I've got a full menu, haven't I? Well, at least Ginny's got over me.' Harry looked at Ginny, who was sitting with Seamus, Dean, Neville and Colin, and laughing at something one of them had said. 'And you never were in love with me, Hermione, so you're another one I don't have to worry about.'

Hermione stared at him strangely for a moment, then buried her head in a book for the rest of the evening, ignoring all attempts to make conversation.

*

The next morning, the list had gained more reasons, including the small and neat '25. He has the gall to think he's in love with someone who is clearly too good for him.' There were new photos showing Malfoy with fur, and an updated price list.

Harry realised with a start that it was Hallowe'en already. The time had flown by, and it felt as if only a week had passed since the start of term.

Of course, one class in which time always dragged was Potions. As Ron hadn't managed an 'O' in his Potions OWL, this was the one class which Harry and Hermione shared without Ron being there. Despite Harry's guilty hopes over the summer that Snape would be caught spying on Voldemort and never be seen at Hogwarts again, or even alive at all, he was still teaching Potions. On this particular day, he seemed to be paying particular attention to everything Harry was doing. As usual when Snape was hovering over him, Harry was doing almost everything wrong, despite Hermione's best efforts.

'Would you call this cyan?' Snape inquired, lifting a ladle-full of Harry's potion from his cauldron and allowing it to pour back again in a viscous chartreuse waterfall. Harry shook his head. Snape glared at him. 'I see that I will have to give you detention -- this evening, I think. Be prompt! I do not intend to miss the Feast this evening, so you will be here at half past six.'

'Yes, sir,' said Harry sadly. Another bad Hallowe'en. He wondered if he'd be able to go to the Feast in time for the seven o'clock start.

*

Harry was waiting, leaning against the wall of the corridor, at the specified time. Snape opened the door, saw him there, and signalled him to enter with a jerk of his head. Harry entered and looked around. He couldn't see any spilt potions caked onto any of the desks, nor was there anything stuck to the ceiling after a student's potion had exploded. What was he supposed to do here?

'Sit,' ordered Snape. Harry sat down, nervous about what this detention might involve. 'While your classwork does merit detention, that is not in fact the point of my bringing you here now. I want to talk to you about your father.'

Harry swallowed nervously. This had to be about Snape's memory, the one he'd seen in the Pensieve. 'I'm really sorry I looked. And ... I didn't know he was like that. I understand now why you hate him. I'm sorry he was like that. I never knew, really.'

Snape looked surprised by this. 'Be that as it may. For a while ... we were all young, and, as I presume you have discovered, teenagers do fall for the strangest people.'

Harry's confusion must have showed in his face. Snape sat facing him. 'Draco has told me of his conversations with you. Do you think he's the first boy to prefer boys to girls?'

Harry's jaw dropped. 'You were in love with my dad?' Harry tried to imagine that, staring at Snape.

'Yes. It may seem odd, and your father kept it from his friends ...'

'He knew?'

'Of course he knew! He pretended to hate me when we started seeing other, and continued that as long as his affection lasted, while secretly he would meet with me and ... never mind, those are details you have no need to know, although we never went quite as far as Draco tells me he would like to with you. Then he found he was attracted to girls -- your mother, for example. After that, his pranks against me grew more cruel, as though he were denying that we had ever been close. You saw one of those, in which he mocked our former closeness by removing my underwear, with a spell, rather than with the gentle hands I remembered so well -- from the later part of our relationship, I hasten to add,' he said, looking at Harry sternly. 'That was why I placed that particular memory in the Pensieve; the contrast was ...' Instead of finishing the sentence, Snape stood and began to walk around his desk, coming closer to Harry, who swallowed nervously.

Snape reached out and placed his hand under Harry's chin, tilting his head up so that he was looking straight at Snape. 'You do look so much like James,' he said softly. 'There could be possibilities for us beyond the roles of teacher and student, beyond the hatred and tension of the classroom.'

Harry didn't dare say anything in case Snape misinterpreted it.

'Let me know what you decide,' said Snape, releasing him. He turned and swept out of the classroom, leaving Harry astonished.

After a while, he realised it must be about time for the Feast to start, so he left, carefully closing the dungeon door behind him on his way up to the Hall. He was glad to see his two best friends were already there, Ron looking around at the decorations, and Hermione keeping an eye on the door as if waiting for Harry.

'Let's enjoy the Feast,' Harry said, sitting between them.

'Was it bad?' Ron asked.

'It was weird. I'll tell you after this is over.'

The Feast and its entertainment were enjoyable enough, but Harry hardly noticed the details, as his detention with Snape played over and over in his mind. This did mean that later, in the common room, he was able to give a very detailed description of what had happened.

'Snape's gay?' asked Ron in surprise. 'That's almost enough to make me want to turn straight!'

'I think you should tell Dumbledore,' said Hermione firmly. 'Snape can't do something like this!'

'He's allowed to be gay, just as much as me,' Ron objected.

'I wouldn't mind if Snape was making advances to Filch or one of the teachers; I agree he's allowed to be gay. I'm thinking of the way he made advances to Harry. Teachers shouldn't make advances to students -- any students, whatever their gender. If a teacher tried that with me, I'd report it.'

Harry said, 'I suppose you're right, but ... if I report him, it wrecks my only chance ever of getting him to be nice to me in class.'

'I'm glad I didn't get "O" for Potions now,' said Ron. 'I wouldn't like to be in his class now, not now I know that.'

'At least think about reporting him, Harry,' urged Hermione, her concern obvious. 'He may be doing the same thing to other pupils, ones who don't dare report him. You've got the courage to do so.'

*

Harry lay awake in bed that night. The cause was not Snape, at least not directly. Snape was the fifth person to want him recently. First there had been Malfoy, then Luna, then Marie-Susanne, then Ron and now Snape.

Of the five, he was most tempted by Luna, although he couldn't help wondering about Ron, Malfoy and Snape. What would it be like to make love to another male? He grinned at that question; it wasn't as if he'd ever made love to anyone female, either. He'd kissed Cho, he'd gone with her to Hogsmeade on Valentine's Day, although that was more her idea than his, and ... she'd cried. She'd cried quite a lot, really. But they had kissed; that was something. He'd been too amazed that she was actually interested in him, too surprised that they'd kissed, to have thought seriously about going any further with her before their relationship ended. He realised with a start that he'd actually spent more time on Valentine's Day with Hermione, Luna and Rita Skeeter than with Cho.

Would there, might there, have ever been anything more between him and Cho? Harry found himself wondering if she had had to take the first move because deep down inside, he knew that he was gay, and just couldn't bring himself to be involved with a girl. Then he reminded himself that he had been involved with her. Then he wondered how involved you had to be in order to be convincingly straight. Perhaps he should ask Ginny. With her four boyfriends, she seemed to be the most successful person he knew, as far as romantic involvements went.

Of course, thinking about Ginny brought her brother Ron to mind. Ron, his first-ever friend, the boy whose room he'd shared at the Burrow, the boy who'd been in the next bed to his since their first night at Hogwarts.

This was turning out to be quite an odd year. What was he going to do? He could try to ignore all of this, of course. He wasn't that interested in Marie-Susanne, despite her beauty, but he had to admit, Luna was tempting. A girl who actually wanted him to love her -- yes, very tempting, even if she did wear vegetables as earrings. After all, everyone had some minor quirk.

More realistically, what about Ron, Malfoy and Snape? Snape was old enough to be his father, besides having been involved with his father -- no chance, he wasn't even going to consider Snape. The idea of having Malfoy as a friend instead of a persistent enemy appealed to him. With Voldemort and Dudley around, why did Harry need any more enemies? Ron, of course, had been his friend for over five years now, and this would just mean taking their friendship to the next step.

Harry shuddered as he suddenly thought of Voldemort acting like Snape, and confessing he was secretly in love with him. Then he wondered what it would be like to make love to a Legilimens whose mind you could read whenever he was highly-emotional.

'I'd know if he was really in love with me,' he told himself, smiling at the thought.

He decided it was too late to be thinking like this. He was actually considering the idea of a gay lover. He needed to sleep.

He dreamt that Ron, Malfoy, Snape, Voldemort and Marie-Susanne were fighting a duel to see who could be his lover. They were standing at the points of a pentacle, firing curses at whoever they pleased. Hermione was telling them to stop, it was Harry's choice, not their fight, which would decide it, and Luna was cheering them on, telling them to kill each other and leave Harry for her.

Next chapter: Harry learns the facts of life, then tries them out. Hermione gets upset.

---