Before the Moon Rises

BEFORE THE MOON RISES

A Last Visit with Friends

Chapter Fourteen

"Dreaming comes so easily

Cause it's all that I've known

True love is a fairy tale

I'm damaged so how would I know

And I'm scared and I'm alone

I'm ashamed and I need for you to know

I didn't say all the things that I wanted to say

And you can't take back what you've taken away

Cause I feel you, I feel you near me

Healing comes so painfully

And it chills to the bone

Will anyone get close to me

I'm damaged as I'm sure you know

And I'm scared and I'm alone."--Plumb

October 1981

Remus walked up to the front steps of a small house in Godric's Hollow. He smiled and knocked at the front door. When the door opened, Lily stood there smiling. Her dark red hair was pulled back from her face and she was wearing a white apron around her neck.

"Hey, Remus," she said sweetly before hugging his neck. "Come in." She turned and yelled up the staircase. "James! Remus is here!"

Remus stepped inside the small but comfortable home of the Potter's. He could smell food cooking in the kitchen and a fire was crackling in the hearth. Lily had obviously been feeling festive because the entire house had been decorated for Halloween, which was about a week off. A charmed paper bat swooped over his head and he ducked.

"Oh sorry about that," Lily said, walking into the kitchen. She opened the oven door and peered inside. "James charmed those this morning and I find them completely annoying which means he thinks they are hilarious," she said lightly.

"Are Peter and Sirius coming over?" he wondered.

"No. Peter said he wasn't feeling well," Lily replied while prodding a boiling potato in a pot on the stove, "and Sirius said he had business to take care of."

"Oh."

"I see you decided not to bring over Laura," Lily said, looking over her shoulder at Remus.

He leaned against the doorframe and sighed. "It wasn't working out."

"Oh? James said she was a nice girl."

"She is but..." he said, stopping his words so he didn't have to finish his thought, but Lily finished it for him.

"But she isn't Jane, right?" Lily turned to look at him, spoon in hand and a sympathetic look on her face.

Remus was spared a reply by the sound of James bounding down the stairs. He leaned back and saw James holding Harry and smiling.

"Hey Moony," he said, slapping his back.

"Let's have a seat in here," Lily said, pushing the two men toward the couch. James passed Harry off to her and kissed her cheek.

"It smells wonderful, Lil," he said.

"It should be ready soon. All that's left to make is your famous pie," she smiled up at him as she sat down and bounced Harry on her knee.

"Okay, I'll go make it. I'll be done in a few minutes, Moony."

"Take your time," he replied. "Too bad he got James' wild mop of hair," Remus said as he reached out and ruffled Harry's dark hair.

Lily laughed. "He's so much like James that sometimes all I can do is smile. I had hoped he'd have a bit more of my good sense," she said smiling as Harry reached out and wrapped his tiny hand around Remus' finger. "James takes him on all these ridiculous adventures. He makes them all up, of course, but they sneak around the house and play. He'll make a Marauder out of him, I'm sure." She sighed. "He's such a curious child. You can see it in his eyes."

Remus sensed something in Lily's voice. "Are you worried?"

"Of course, I'm worried," she said softly. "With Voldemort lurking around every corner, I can't help but worry. I don't want anything to happen to Harry. I'd rather die than have him harmed."

Remus put his hand on her arm. "Harry will be fine. He has a strong will. He got that from you."

"Lil, where's the rosemary?" James called from the kitchen.

"It's behind the thyme in the third cabinet to the left of the sink," she called back. She looked back at Remus; he was playing with Harry, who opened his mouth into a wide grin and giggled.

"Thank you," James said in return.

"Remus?"

"Yeah?"

"I don't believe she's gone forever," Lily said quietly.

"Who?"

"You know who--Jane. In my heart I still feel that she'll come back. If only you could have seen the sorrow in her eyes that day. I won't pretend to understand why she left or how she left but I don't think she wanted to go."

"I can't spend the rest of my life waiting for that to happen, waiting for her to come back," he said sadly.

"But part of you will never stop waiting."

And Remus knew it was the truth. He knew there was still a torch in his soul burning brightly, hoping to guide her back to him.

A tiny bell began ringing in the kitchen.

"Dinner is ready," James called.

* * * *

"Time for dessert. I hope you don't disappoint our guest," Lily said teasingly.

"Me, disappoint? No way. I make the best pumpkin pie in all of England," James said proudly, getting up and walking over to get the pie off the counter.

"Not cocky, is he?" Remus asked playfully.

"James, cocky? Are you kidding me?" she laughed back.

"I can hear you," James said, grinning and placing the pie in the center of the table. He began cutting pieces and passing them out.

"Can Harry eat solid foods yet?" Remus wondered as he pushed his fork into the pie.

"Not really. We have to mash everything up before we give it to him, but he has specific tastes," James answered before eating a large bite of dessert.

"Mmmm. This pie is good," Remus said as he swallowed. "Does Harry like it?"

James frowned and Lily laughed quietly before clearing her throat. "No. Harry hates pumpkin pie. Love, it's okay," she said, patting James' leg and smiling sweetly. "We all like different things. It isn't personal. I think it's wonderful." She leaned over and kissed his cheek. James began to smile immediately.

After dinner, Remus helped clean the dishes and put away the left over food.

"Do you want to stay for coffee, Remus?" Lily asked.

"No, I really should be going. I've got a long day tomorrow," he replied.

"Okay. Thanks for coming over. We'll have everyone over again soon," she said as she and James walked him to the door.

"Thanks for dinner. It was really good. See you later, Harry," Remus said, reaching out and touching the little boy's arm. Remus opened the door and stepped into the night.

"Goodnight Moony," James called.

"We love you Remus and we'll have dinner again...maybe next week," Lily said.

"Yeah, goodnight. Love you guys, too, and I'll see you soon."

But Remus never saw James and Lily alive again.