Wizarding Betrothal

Chapter 20: Independence Day

The music was loud. Very loud. In fact, it was almost as loud as Lily had hoped. But she wasn't disappointed. Lily felt good; she looked even better; she was ready for anything. The night would go down in history as the moment Lily Evans took her own life by the horns, or reins, or handlebars, or whatever, and finally did exactly what she felt like - regardless of what that turned out to be. She didn't need to answer to anyone!

When James had first told Lily about the party, she'd felt a thrilling flash of excitement that vanished just as quickly as it had come - there wasn't any way on earth that her father would permit her to go. When she spoke with him anyway and found out that she could actually attend, she was over the moon, sure that she was finally being allowed to grow up. By the time that Lily was dressed, made-up, and styled to perfection, she was certain that adulthood was within her reach. And when she flooed into the strange parlour, packed to the chandeliers with beautiful people, throbbing music, and dizzy adrenaline, she felt the firm pulse of independence within her happy little fist.

James stepped out of the fire behind her and placed a possessive hand on Lily's back. "Did you see where Remus went?" he asked.

"Over here, James," Remus called from near the wall. "You might want to clear the way for traffic."

No sooner had he spoken than someone dashed out of the fire, bumping James right over into Lily. Staggering a few steps, Lily straightened up and glanced around. So much for that well poised entrance she'd had in mind.

"Sorry about that," James said. He scrambled to his feet and led her in Remus' direction. "You okay?"

Lily nodded as she scanned the room. She had to be the youngest girl there, no question about it. Maybe, if she pulled off that smooth walk she'd been practising, she could pass for seventeen.

Steering the way out of the bottlenecked parlour, James nodded to Remus, and grasped Lily's hand in his. He was so strong and warm; it made Lily's head reel... and then it triggered that tension she'd been feeling for weeks. If only he would stop pretending to be a lovesick puppy, she might be able to let her guard down and have a fun summer. As it was, he'd been getting uncomfortably close to her heart. He was just plain dangerous.

Lily knew that James couldn't bring himself to fall in love with her, but it wasn't anything like that difficult for her to fall for him. Lily was bound to get hurt if she didn't get up the nerve to deliver her little speech soon. His happiness was more important then honouring his father's wishes. Why couldn't he see that on his own?

"Isn't this supposed to be somebody's birthday?" James was asking Remus.

"Yes," he replied. "Michael Ollerton's. This is his girlfriend's house."

"Must be the family estate or something." Looking around, James whistled in awe. "This place is huge."

"Prongs, are you sure you want to be here," Remus said. He glanced nervously at Lily. James looked down at her, too, and then scanned the partygoers. "This party is a lot bigger than I expected."

Tightening his grip on Lily's hand, James frowned. "You're right, Moony. I haven't seen this many weirdoes in one
place since Duke Garcia's Bonfire Night party."

Sure, there were a lot of strange looking people milling around, but Lily found them fascinating. She observed a slinky sort of woman making her way across the room; hair couldn't possibly do that without magic - she must have used a charm of some sort. A lot of the girls seemed to have helped their appearance with magic. That meant they were all of age - unlike Lily. A little ways off, a young man watched Lily with unveiled attention. Uncomfortable, Lily straightened up and refocused her gaze on James; she was flattered to be noticed, but the stranger was entirely too dark and greasy for her taste. At least James would scare him off - he loved scaring off other guys.

"James!" A distant Sirius was forcing his way through the crowd, trying to get their attention, Peter trailing awkwardly behind him. "Remus!" he called again, waving for them to head towards him.

Remus muttered, "Here we go," and began the project of tracing a path through the room. As Lily followed him, James stuck behind her, grasping Lily's arm the whole time. Her mouth twitched in annoyance.

James always did things like that: he couldn't even let her walk through a room like a normal person; she had to be flanked by security guards. He'd done the same thing when they had flooed into the party - he'd made Remus go first, with Lily in the middle, and himself directly behind. Did he think she was going to get lost between grates or something?

Lily wasn't about to complain, though. She knew that the only reason she was even allowed to be at the party at all was the fact that James was the one taking her. The independent and grown-up part of her mind was trying very hard to ignore that annoying little fact. The least she could do was avoid whining like a child.

Somewhere in the middle of the room, they met up with their friends. James and Sirius quietly bumped fists in greeting, and James clapped Peter on the back.

A grinning Sirius turned to Lily and hugged her. "Hiya, sugar," he said. "You look good enough to eat!"

"Thanks, Sirius. How are you?"

"Another day in paradise!"

"So, what do you want to do, Prongs?" Remus asked. "I'm sure we can find somewhere else to go tonight that's a little more...appropriate." He glanced at Lily again, a trace of a frown crossing his face. Was he trying to say she was too much of a kid to be there?

Rubbing his hair, James looked down at Lily. "You're probably right. This joint's going to get more chaotic by the minute."

"But I haven't seen anything yet!" Lily said. Surely James wouldn't want to leave already; they'd only just arrived.

"You two can go, but Lily and I are staying," Sirius said, rising to her defence. "Come on, sugar. Let's get out of this cockroach cluster and find a spot where we can breathe." Taking her by the waist, he led Lily through a maze of cramped bodies, and into the next room - Peter, Remus, and James caravanning behind them. "James is usually a lot more fun," Sirius explained into Lily's ear, "but he gets nervous at little get-togethers like this."

"Why is that?"

"He's got this sort of mother hen complex going on," Sirius answered. Glancing back over her shoulder at James, Lily caught his eye and grinned as he tried to keep up. "He likes to have everybody safe and accounted for," Sirius continued, "but it's hard to keep track of people in a mob like this, so he gets nervous and starts flapping around like a hen trying to round up her chicks."

Lily's mind was suddenly filled by a ridiculous image of James in a feathery chicken suit, waving his arms madly, and running around squawking at his friends. Giggling, she looked at James again just in time to see him pulling Peter out of a tight spot and back into their little line. At that, Lily burst into laughter - it was just too appropriate.

"Am I right? Or, am I right?" Sirius asked, with a satisfied smirk.

"You're right," Lily laughed.

"You should see him when he loses somebody."

"What happens?"

"Full hero mode," Sirius said. "Every time."

Smiling, Lily snuck another glance at James. He was watching them suspiciously, like his ears were burning.

"Does he lose people very often?" Lily wondered.

"That depends on what you mean by 'lose'. According to James, I've been a lost cause for years."

"Alright, Padfoot, what are you telling her about me?" James demanded, drawing up behind them.

"I wasn't telling her anything."

"Then why was she looking at me every time you said something?"

"I can't help it if your girl likes to look at you, Prongs."

Swallowing hard, Lily mentally crossed her fingers in hopes that she wasn't blushing; the insinuation that she was checking James out was a little too much. She only did that when nobody was looking.

Giving up on Sirius, James decided to turn to Lily instead. "What was he saying about me?"

Lily straightened her face and looked him in the eye, determined to tell him the precise truth - or some of it, at least. "Sirius was just telling me what a great big chicken you are."

James froze in the middle of sweeping a hand through his hair and gaped at Lily. Beside her, Sirius erupted into raucous laughter, and she lost her straight face to a tight-lipped grin. Mother hens were chickens, weren't they?

"Um...I know I just walked up in the middle of a conversation and all," Remus said, "but, did I just hear someone call James Potter a chicken?" He and Peter were staring between James, Lily, and Sirius, with amused expressions on their faces.

"Hey, Padfoot," Peter said. "Try to breathe, mate. Will you?"

Lily looked over to see Sirius bent double, taking huge choking breaths in between fits of laughter. He was the only one who had any idea what she was talking about. It was priceless.

James certainly wanted an explanation. "He did what?" James asked. His hand was still stuck in his hair.

"He called you a chicken."

Dropping his arm, James finally looked away from Lily to observe Sirius, who was clutching his sides.

"I'm so confused," Peter moaned.

Remus chuckled. "You aren't the only one."

"Did you call me a chicken, Padfoot?" James demanded.

Smiling sweetly, Lily looked up at him, batting her eyes. "Don't you believe me, James?"

"I...I, er, guess I..." he stammered. She just loved seeing him all befuddled like that. He was so cute.

"Sirius," Lily began again, "am I telling the truth? Didn't you call James a chicken?"

"I suppose I did," he choked out.

"It's okay," Remus said, patting James on the back. "There's a first time for everything."

"I like this girl!" Sirius was making a valiant effort to calm down. "I may just take her away from you, Prongs."

"You can't do that," James said, "and why did you call me a chicken?"

"Because it fit you perfectly. Now go away, Lily and I are trying to have some quality private time."

"You aren't allowed to have private time with Lily, and I'm nothing like a chicken."

"Oh, you might be surprised," Sirius said, grinning, "and I can have as much private time with Lily as she wants to give me."

All of the boys looked at Lily, and she smoothed the front of her skirt, wishing for the comfy pockets of her blue jeans. Why did he have to go and throw the ball in her court like that? The little git. Time for a dramatic subject change.

"James," she asked, "do you think you could find me something to drink? I'm really thirsty." Remus was the first one to start snickering. A few chuckles later, and he'd infected the whole group. Good thing Lily hadn't been aiming for subtlety, or she might just have gotten her feelings hurt.

"Don't worry, Lily," James said, "I can wait to curse Sirius later."

"You think you could do it, huh?" Sirius retorted.

"Yep. But first I need a butterbeer." Turning to Lily, James smiled. "Drinks are a good idea. I'll be back in a minute. Stay with Remus, okay?" With a pointed look of warning at Sirius, James headed off through the room.

"What is with James always acting all jealous of Sirius?" Lily asked the boys. "Does he really think we're going to run off together or something?"

"Not exactly," Remus supplied, "but Sirius has always had a bad habit of stealing James' dates."

Whatever Lily was expecting, it hadn't been that. "What do you mean?"

"Whenever James used to show too much interest in a girl, Sirius would show up and start flirting with her," he explained. "It never failed that she would end up going out with him instead of James."

"James used to get so mad," Peter laughed.

Lily didn't feel much like laughing with them; a pang was beginning to gnaw at her stomach.

"Hey," Sirius defended, "I can't help it if Prongs has good taste!" He leaned back to sit on the arm of a sofa, much to the disapproval of the sofa's occupants. "Besides," Sirius added, "he didn't really care all that much; he was saving himself up for Lily."

"More like you were saving James for Lily," Peter countered.

"Maybe," Sirius shrugged. "But it didn't hurt anything more than his ego, and he's got enough of that to spare."

"So anyway, Lily," Remus said, "you can understand why James acts suspicious of Sirius around you." Could she? It sounded like James had been forced into her company entirely against his will - and not just by his father's memory. That pang in her stomach twinged again.

Sirius caught Lily's eye and winked mischievously; at least Sirius thought it was funny.

"Suspicious is a bit of an understatement," Peter said. "Remember how Prongs used to set up those elaborate plans to so that he could sneak off for a date on the sly without Padfoot showing up and ruining it for him?"

"I knew what you guys were doing," Sirius insisted. "I just thought he ought to have a little fun now and then. No need for the guy to get too desperate. I was just helping him out with the dangerous ones."

"The dangerous ones?" Peter prodded for more details.

"It wouldn't have been very comfortable if James had showed up at the Evans' with a girlfriend," Sirius explained. Did he mean the way Lily had a boyfriend last summer? Yeah, that had been uncomfortable. But it sounded like James had wished he could have done the same thing. He probably still wished for it.

"Where is James anyway?" Lily wondered. She didn't feel very much like partying any more.

"I can see him. He's still over there talking to, er...a friend," Remus finished lamely.

A crowd of wizards shifted and Lily craned her neck to get a glimpse of James, a fistful of butterbeer bottles in hand, chatting with a buxom brunette in very tight robes. Who was that, and why was she giggling so much? Her stomached tightened with another pang of discomfort.

Sighing, Sirius stood up. "My work is never done," he said. Slipping through the crowd, he was soon shoving James aside, directing all of the witch's attention to himself.

James threw Sirius a few pointed scowls and left them alone. He made his way back to Lily and passed around the butterbeers. "Sorry I was gone so long," he told her. She was reluctant to take the bottle from his hand. "I needed to get rid Sirius for a while. I had to find him a girl." Come again? Lily looked up at him while Remus asked the obvious question for her.

"What's going on?"

James nodded towards the door. "Look who's here."

In unison, Remus, Peter, and Lily turned to see who James was referring to. Leaning against a table, making small talk with some other young wizards, was Regulus Black. Lily hadn't even thought about that little jerk for ages.

"How about you stay with Lily," Remus said to James. "Pete and I'll encourage little snot-face over there to change his plans for the night."

"He hasn't talked to me in months," Lily said. "I'm not worried about him trying to bother me here." Especially not with James standing right next to her.

James took her hand and began leading her towards the other side of the house. "Right now, I'm actually worried about something else."

"What's wrong?" Lily asked.

"Sirius," James said. "He and his brother can't be in the same room together without a fight breaking out, and this really isn't the place for that. A lot of people could get hurt if they start duelling in this crowd."

Okay...Lily felt really stupid. If only she could Disapparate on the spot. "So that's why you wanted to get him distracted by that girl over there."

"Right. He's a sucker for that sort of trick."

"He thinks he's saving you from dangerous women, you know."

Biting back a laugh, he glanced away, looking embarrassed. "He would." With a few swigs, James drained the bottle of butterbeer, and tossed the empty bottle onto a nearby table as they passed. "So what do you think of the party so far?" James asked.

"It's really cool." Lily had never been to a party like it; it was much more exciting than the little parties the Gryffindors held after Quidditch matches. "I'd like to walk around and see what all is going on."

"Sure, we can do that. There's not really much to see though." A lock of hair flopped down over his eyes, and James pushed it back again. That was a bit of a hopeless cause, really; Lily had never met anyone with a worse case of chronically messy hair.

"I don't care," she told him. "I still want to walk around."

He gave her hand a little squeeze and searched the room with his eyes. "We could start off this way," he suggested. "What do you think all of that crud is that's flying around in the air over there?"

It looked a lot like multi-coloured bubbles. "Maybe it's ladybirds." Lily suggested.

James laughed wrinkled his nose; a single ladybird crawled out of his ear, buzzing a few loops around his head before disappearing into the room. Lily rolled her eyes and giggled. Just a few days prior, James had been showing off his peculiar knack for producing quantities of ladybirds from his ears. It was an incredibly weird skill that Lily attributed to some kind of Transfiguration spell. However he did it, Lily had laughed until she was blue in the face. She'd been teasing him about it ever since, and he'd enthusiastically produced a few ladybirds every time she'd mentioned it. The spell must have been wearing off though, because he'd been managing fewer bugs at a time.

Over the pounding of the music, the sound of angry shouting rose from the room they had just left, and James stood on his tiptoes, peering over the heads in the crowd.

"What's going on, James?" Lily tugged on his arm, trying to stand a little taller and see for herself.

"I can't really tell," he said, grimacing. "I see a lot of sparks though."

"Do you think it's Regulus."

"Probably, but I can't be sure from here." James scratched his head and gave Lily a worried glance. "Look, would you mind waiting here for a minute? I need to see if Remus needs any help."

"I'll come with you." Lily set her drink down on a ledge.

"No you won't." Placing a firm hand on her shoulder, James looked her in the eye. "Lily, please stay right here by this wall. I'll be back in a minute."

"James, I can..."

"Just don't go anywhere, okay?" he interrupted. "I promise I'll be right back."

"But, James..."

And he was gone, off to back up his friends. He just couldn't take not being a part of the action, but he wouldn't let Lily in on it too. He was treating her like a child. Squinting with irritation, Lily crossed her arms and leaned on the wall. She knew she was sulking and she didn't care. He had no right to treat her like that.

The shouting had stopped, and the atmosphere seemed the same as it had been only a few minutes ago. Everything was under control. The only difference was that she was by herself. She listened to the pounding music, wondering where it was coming from. Perhaps she should just go ahead and find out for herself.

Lily wasn't about to spend the whole night sitting in a corner just because James told her to. She didn't need him; she was a big girl. Glancing around the room, Lily strolled through the crowd, not recognising a soul. She didn't stop, but just continued to walk as if she knew exactly where she was going, hoping she looked like she fit in.

Several very cool looking people were sauntering down a hall, and Lily walked nearby; wherever they were going was sure to be just as cool as they looked. Before she knew it, Lily found herself swept into an excessively loud drawing room with far too many tall strangers that were all jostling her about with their vigorous dancing. Sparks of every colour were flying through the air, and someone stepped on Lily's foot. It really wasn't the kind of thing she had hoped for. Which way was the exit anyhow?

She began pushing through the oblivious crowd, hoping to find the door she'd entered by. Squeezing between two rather large girls, and then around a very bouncy wizard, Lily finally reached the wall. Nobody had noticed her at all - not even that boy with the dancing-duck-print robes who she'd shoved to the floor when he wouldn't get out of the way. She flattened her hand on the wall and slid along the ribbed wallpaper as she worked her way along the edge of the room, sure that she had to come to a door at some point.

After a frustratingly short distance, Lily ran into a cluster of girls who were taking turns at screaming conversation into one another's ears. Lily tried to go around them, but got sucked back into the throng of dancers. It was practically a black hole in there. An arm snuck around her waist and Lily turned to see a lecherous looking man leering down at her. Wiggling away in panic, she bumped smack into a tall, growling witch with frighteningly crooked teeth. Backing away from the dangerous snarl, Lily tripped over a spidery pair legs and felt a sharp something-or-other jab her in the ear. The fun was draining out of the evening rather rapidly, and Lily wanted nothing more at that moment than to see a friendly face. Why did James have to go and abandon her anyway?

When she finally made it back to the ribbed wallpaper, Lily vowed that she wasn't leaving it again until she found the door. The next time she came to a lazy wallflower, she yelled for him to move, but he didn't hear her over the racket of the music. She tapped him on the shoulder, but he didn't notice her. Finally, she just thrust the man out of the way without ceremony, and kept walking. Thank heavens she wasn't a weakling!

A few more steps along, and the back of someone's shoulders were blocking her way yet again; Lily simply gave him a firm push without any warning at all. With that, however, the young man spun around to look directly at her, eyes widening in surprise. It was Benjamin Summers.

Relief coursed through her limbs as Benjamin took Lily's hand and led her through the mob to the doors. Funny thing was, none of the dancers in that part of the room seemed remotely threatening. The weirdoes must all have moved on.

Benjamin pulled Lily through an intricate series of doors and hallways, that she quickly lost track of, while the quantities of surrounding people became fewer and fewer. It wasn't until he shut a door behind them, cutting off the bulk of the music, that Lily noticed he was still holding her hand firmly in his.

"What are you doing here?" Benjamin asked.

"It's a party. Why shouldn't I be here?"

"I'm just surprised, is all."

"Where are we, anyway?" Lily asked. She looked around the untidy bedroom, noting that it was even worse than her room at home.

"Oh, er," Benjamin stammered, blushing furiously, "this is my room."

"Your room? You live here?" What? The whole situation didn't mesh with anything that Lily knew about Benjamin's family.

"I live here half the summer," he said. Profound confusion must have shown on Lily's face, because he proceeded to explain. "This is Rigolets Park. It's Josiah's house."

"Oh!" The puzzle was finally coming together. She was in Josiah's house, Benjamin was staying over, and they were throwing a party; how unusual. "Josiah's parents let him have parties like this?"

With a soft snort, he answered, "Not exactly. His older sister, Jane, is throwing this 'birthday party' for her idiot boyfriend. Mr. and Mrs. Mitchell are out of the country this week, but she'll never be able to hide it from them. They're going to go mental when they find out."

"I'd hate to be around for that," Lily said.

"No kidding! That'll be the signal for Josiah and me to move to my house."

"I'd get out earlier than that, if it were me." A photo on the dresser caught Lily's eye - it was a picture of herself.

"We'll probably go tomorrow," Benjamin said.

"I'm glad you like my advice." The photo Lily was standing up next to Benjamin at a Quidditch match, alternately cheering for the team and giving Benjamin a big hug.

"I like everything about you," he continued.

"That's impossible," she argued. "You can't like everything about someone." When was that picture taken anyway?

"You're right."

That certainly recaptured her undivided attention. "I'm right?" What did he think was wrong about her?

"Yeah," he admitted. "There is something I don't like about you."

"What is it?" Did she really want to know for sure?

"I'm not sure I should tell you." Rubbing the back of his neck, Benjamin fixed his eyes on his shoes.

"You know you can tell me." It was probably her freckles - no surprise there.

He wasn't biting, however. "So Lily, how has your summer been so far?"

"Okay, Mr. Subject Changer, but don't think I've given up."

Benjamin laughed and chewed his lip. "Do you want to sit down?" He waved at the bed, which happened to be the only piece of furniture that wasn't completely covered in clothes and Quidditch junk. Lily perched herself on the edge of the bed, Benjamin lowering himself next to her; he still hadn't released her hand, and her palm was beginning to sweat.

It was easy to lapse into the familiar conversation of old friends; he asked about her summer so far, and she discussed the letter he'd recently sent her. However, Lily couldn't quite get her mind off of the way his thumb was rubbing her skin. During the last few months of school, Benjamin and Lily had become even better friends than ever before. In Lily's opinion, their improved friendship had been possible because Benjamin had finally stopped asking her out. On their final day at Hogwarts, he'd managed to surprise her, though, by asking her out one last time. She wished he hadn't; it was heart breaking to turn him down yet again, but she really couldn't see any way around it. In the end, she'd agreed to correspond with him over the summer. Sitting there next to Benjamin, three weeks into the break, and having already received two letters that he'd written, Lily felt a bit guilty that she hadn't even started her first letter to him. At least he was nice enough not to mention it.

After little while, Lily brought the talk back around to where they had started. "Come on, Ben," she pleaded. "Tell me what it is about me you dislike."

"I can't." He looked away, blushing.

Lily's curiosity was mounting. "How can I fix it if you won't tell me what it is?"

"I don't think you would like to hear it," he told her.

"Try me." She was in the mood to be generous.

"Promise you won't get mad?"

"I promise."

"Alright then," he whispered, "what I don't like about you is that you won't let me kiss you."

"How do you know I won't?"

"I, um, well...what do you mean?" Benjamin looked dumbfounded. He couldn't have been more surprised than Lily, however. She couldn't believe she'd said that - it was sort of exciting.

"You never asked," she replied. All of her insides were tingling.

Watching her carefully, Benjamin asked, "Can I kiss you, Lily?" He didn't waste any time, did he?

"I don't know, Ben. Can you?" She knew she shouldn't want him to, but...

A dull bang echoed from somewhere down the hall.

"I love it when you call me that," he said.

"When I call you what?"

"Ben. Nobody else in the world calls me that."

Another bang, slightly louder sounded again. It was probably some partiers running around.

"Ben." She tried the name, never having realised that she even used it. He had lots of names around Hogwarts: Benji, mostly; Mr. Summers, according to the professors; Benjamin, by a few girls; but she'd never really heard anybody call him Ben. Somehow it seemed incredibly intimate.

"You only say it when we're alone, and close," he continued. "I love hearing it." He raised a hand to her hair, rubbing a lock between his fingers. "It's like your own special name for me."

"I guess it is...Ben."

There was yet another bang, a little closer.

"You're a really special girl, Lily." His hand was trailing down her back as he drew even nearer to her.

On several occasions, Lily had wondered what it would be like to kiss Benjamin. Maybe it was high time she found out.

A worrisome little doubt was nudging the back of her mind. Maybe she shouldn't do it. She knew she didn't want a romance with Benjamin, but who was looking for long-term romance at sixteen years old? Laura kissed boys all the time, and they got along just fine. James probably wouldn't like it very much, but James wasn't even attracted to her. He hadn't tried to kiss her in ages. Why should he get a say in who she kissed?

Again, something banged loudly across the hall.

She could do anything she wanted - Benjamin was always telling her that. Benjamin was also leaning in very closely. Lily swallowed hard. She could do whatever she wanted. Leaning in herself, Lily kissed him first, and heard his sharp intake of breath. Not waiting for any more encouragement, he kissed her back eagerly. Before long, he was sucking on her lower lip, and she could feel his tongue swishing around inside her mouth - that was a little weird. When he pulled away to look at her, he grinned, and Lily was fairly sure that Benjamin's brain wasn't operating at full capacity.

Suddenly, Lily flinched when the door to the room banged open, and she felt Benjamin stiffen as a familiar voice sounded deeply behind her.

"Take your hands off of my fiancée," the voice demanded.

James didn't sound very happy. Not at all.