Wizarding Betrothal

Chapter 18: Lonely Protester

Lily drug her feet as much as she could without tripping herself. She was too embarrassed to go to Hogsmeade. Benjamin had asked her to go with him, and she had turned him down with the excuse that she needed to revise. And then she'd kicked herself. In reality, she had been looking forward to the break from OWL work, and was desperate for some butterbeer. Once she'd told him she wasn't going, however, she had no choice but to stay behind.

Laura had other ideas.

"I don't care what you told Benji, Lily. I will not let you kill yourself in the library on your birthday. Do you know how many people would die to have their birthday on a Hogsmeade weekend? You're coming to town if I have to stun you and carry you the whole way myself." Both of Laura's hands were braced around Lily's forearm as she pulled her friend across the lawn in front of the castle. Lily was putting up quite a fight.

"I can't show up after I told Benji I wasn't going," Lily said. "It'll look like I made up the excuse because I didn't want to go with him."

"You did make up an excuse because you didn't want to go with him. If you would stop doing that, you'd save yourself a lot of headaches."

Easier said than done. "What else was I supposed to do?"

"Tell him that you don't fancy him, and that you're going to Hogsmeade, but not with him."

"That's mean." And difficult.

"Stringing him along is mean," Laura said. "Telling him the truth is always better."

"What am I supposed to say when I see him in the village? I lied?"

"Say that you've changed your mind, because you needed to spend some quality time with me."

"He'll see right through that."

"So deal with it."

Leaning her weight back, Lily dug her heels into the grass. "I don't want to deal with it."

"Too late. Look by the lake; Josiah and Benji are coming over here." Sure enough, the boys were strolling in their direction. "Would you stop dragging your feet like that?" Laura added. "You're making us both look like idiots."

"Then stop pulling on me." Lily plunked herself down in the grass like a petulant child. She was sick of being ordered around.

"Get up!"

"Don't treat me like a child."

Laura dropped Lily's arm and perched her hands on her hips. "If you would stop acting so childish, you wouldn't get treated like one."

Benjamin and Josiah jogged up, staring between Lily on the ground and Laura glaring down at her. "What are you doing?" Benjamin asked.

"I'm protesting. Laura's trying to force me to go to Hogsmeade. She's dragged me all the way from the library."

"That's a shame," he said. "She shouldn't have to do that by herself." He grinned at Laura. "Need some help?"

Lily scrambled in the grass, but she wasn't quick enough. Benjamin had the muscles to do what Laura couldn't. In three seconds flat, he had her off the ground, with her feet dangling over his right arm, as he proceeded to carry her to towards Hogsmeade. How humiliating.

"I'm not going to Hogsmeade," Lily argued.

"Want to bet?" Benjamin was entirely too pleased with himself.

"I have to write my Potions essay."

"So do I. You don't see me wasting my weekend on it, do you?" He followed their friends to the road while Lily sulked in his arms. Why did they feel so strongly about forcing her to go? She could decide for herself where she wanted to spend the day. They couldn't make her do anything.

"I can't go."

"Yes you can."

"As soon as you put me down," Lily said, "I'm going back to the castle." Laura rolled her eyes at that.

"I guess I won't put you down then," Benjamin said.

"You'll have to eventually."

"Nah. I'll just carry you around all day."

"Your arms are going to get tired."

He shook his head. "You aren't heavy."

"You still can't carry me all day."

"Is that a challenge?" he asked.

"No. It's a statement of fact."

"Hurry up, Benji," Josiah called over his shoulder. He and Laura were already several paces ahead of them, and had stopped to wait.

"Shut it, Josiah. You want to try this?"

"No thanks. The pleasure is all yours, I assure you."

Benjamin bounced her a little, readjusting his arm under Lily's back. She knew she was heavier than he would give her credit for.

"Benjamin?" Lily leaned her cheek on his shoulder and tried to arrange her face into an innocent expression. "Benjamin? Will you please put me down? I promise I'll walk with you."

He appraised her for a moment before looking back up the road. "I don't trust you."

Tracing his collar with her fingers, Lily smiled. "Please, Ben?"

His breathing quickened, and he glanced sideways at her. "Why should I?"

"Because I'm asking you to?"

Laura watched, pursing her lips. "Don't let her sweet-talk you into anything, Benji."

"I'll be really good," Lily said.

"If you don't behave," he told her, "I'm going to carry you again."

"I'll behave."

"Promise?"

She nodded.

"Alright then." Boy, was he a sucker.

As soon as Lily's feet touched the ground, she started running back towards the castle, Benjamin directly behind her.

"Come back here!"

She rushed up the slope at top speed, but could tell Benjamin was gaining on her. Why did he have to be so stinking fast? In her haste, Lily slipped - falling hard and smashing her face into the grass. She squinted her eyes at the pain and pushed herself up.

Benjamin knelt beside her in an instant. "Are you hurt, Lily?"

"No." She wiped a traitorous tear from her cheek and massaged her aching nose. "I'm OK."

"Let's go up to the Hospital Wing to get your nose checked."

"My nose isn't broken."

"Are you sure?" he asked.

"Yeah." She'd had millions of falls worse than that, but few so embarrassing.

"Do you hurt anywhere else?"

"Yes," she admitted. "I've suffered a mortal wound to my pride."

"Aww." Chuckling softly, Benjamin hugged her close and rubbed her back. "Poor little Lily," he said.

Poor stupid Lily, was more like it. If she hadn't been so determined to be difficult, she never would have fallen like clumsy idiot. She'd be skipping into Hogsmeade already. Why did she have to be so stubborn?

The others were trudging back up the slope towards them. "Is she okay?" Laura called. Benjamin yelled that Lily was fine. "Then come on!" she said. "We haven't got all day!"

"Do you still want to go back to the castle?" he said to Lily. "I know a house elf who'll set us up with as much butterbeer as we can drink."

Lily sniffed and tugged on her nose. "I thought I wasn't allowed to stay at the castle."

"You can do whatever you want, Lily."

"I can?"

"Yep. What would you like to do today?"

She looked up and grinned a little - he was going to laugh when she told him. "I want to go to Hogsmeade."

Benjamin did laugh. So did Lily. Even Laura laughed once she realised that Lily was actually walking to Hogsmeade of her own volition. Having finally decided to go along, Lily felt a great deal more relaxed. She loved Hogsmeade, it was her sixteenth birthday, and she was hanging out with her friends on a beautiful April morning. What more could she ask for?

"Can we go to Honeydukes first?" Lily asked. "You get a free Peppermint Frog on your birthday."

Laura wrinkled her nose. "I'd rather go to The Three Broomsticks first. I need a butterbeer."

"We usually go there last. Can't you wait till after I get my frog?"

"I'm really thirsty."

Josiah nodded in agreement.

"Me too," Benjamin said. "Hauling girls up and down hills is thirsty work."

"What happened to the macho man who said he could carry me all day?" Lily asked.

"I never said I wouldn't get thirsty."

"Let's take a vote," Laura suggested. "All in favour of going to Honeydukes first, raise your hand." Lily's hand jabbed into the air. "All in favour of The Three Broomsticks?" Three hands rose, and Lily scowled.

"Fine," she said, "but they'd better not be out of Peppermint Frogs by the time we get there."

"If they are, I'll buy you a whole bag of something else," Laura offered. "Just come on, will you?"

The Three Broomsticks was packed all the way to the door. Before Lily could object to the crowd, Laura grabbed her by the hand and pressed into the pub. They squeezed between some very large seventh years and dodged several tables full of students as they made their way towards the back. From behind her, someone took the liberty of shoving a hat over Lily's head just as Marianne came into view - she was holding a large, sparkly cake.

"Happy Birthday!" A dozen more Gryffindors sprang up out of nowhere, sporting red hats and silly grins, and singing an off-key happy birthday song. Lily couldn't have been more surprised.

"Now do you see why you had to come?" Laura said. "I couldn't let you miss your own birthday party. You'd never forgive me."

"Oh, Laura!" Lily hugged her friend tightly. "Thank you! This is so sweet. I'm sorry I was so grumpy about coming."

"It's okay. Besides," she added in a whisper, "it was Benji's fault. I told him not to ask you out this weekend, but he did anyway. He said he couldn't help it. I nearly skinned him alive."

"Come sit down, Lily." Julia motioned to an empty chair. "You've got to take the first bite of cake. I don't know how much longer we can keep the boys out of it."

Marianne and Julia, it turned out, had walked down to The Three Broomsticks as early as possible that day in order to commandeer three tables in the back corner of the pub. They'd hung red balloons and streamers in the air, and made party hats decorated with gold sparklers. Laura was trying to get Danny to wear one, but he didn't seem to think it would look very manly. A huge platter, loaded with sloshing mugs of butterbeer, landed on Lily's table, where Josiah made a big commotion about passing them out beside her.

"Hey, you! Hold up! Lily gets the first one. Happy birthday, Lily. There. Now you can have yours. Don't be shy Charlie; get it while it's hot. Who wanted the cherry soda? Put that back! You already got one. Marcus, I almost got her to slip that Mulled Mead in, but Professor Doge walked in and she chickened out. Anybody want to try this Gillywater? She gave me a few free samples. Yeah, I didn't like it either. What are you doing? Get out of here - Slytherins weren't invited! Ugly git. Here's your butterbeer, Emma. Oops! Sorry about that - didn't mean to make you wear it home. What are you talking about? I think you look good in butterbeer; you look hot in anything. Ouch! Can't you take a compliment? I said I'm sorry! That's all I've got, folks. Put your money in the hat and wait up for the next round!"

Josiah took off with the empty platter and a fresh list of orders, and Benjamin slipped into the empty spot at the table. "Are you surprised?"

"Yes. I didn't even suspect a thing."

"That was kind of obvious when you were sprinting back towards the castle."

"And you were going to take me to the kitchens for butterbeer." She would have been so disappointed.

"I know. I have no resolution around you."

"You can say that again!" Laura said, shooting him a pointed look. Apparently they'd already had that conversation.

Benjamin blushed and hid behind a big gulp of butterbeer.

All in all, the party was a great success. It had been weeks since Lily spent so much waking time without looking at a scrap of schoolwork, and she revelled in the feeling. She put away three slices of cake and two mugs of butterbeer before Benjamin reminded her about getting her Peppermint Frog at Honeydukes. Lily sure didn't want to miss out on that.

"Hey, Laura," Lily said, "are you coming with me to Honeydukes?"

"Yeah." But Laura didn't appear to be paying much attention. She was wrapped up in Danny LaBorde's lap, giggling as he whispered into her ear. He smiled and stroked her cheek; Lily watched and sighed. James used to do that. Lily hadn't seen him in ages; not since he'd been to visit at the end of January. He'd asked her not to forget about him. He'd said he would see her again soon, too, but he hadn't. There'd been a lot of letters, but it wasn't the same. She missed him.

"Laura?"

"Hmm."

"Are you ready?"

"I'm coming."

"GO! GO! GO! GO!" Students at the next table began making a ruckus, and Lily stood up to see what was going on. Marcus and Matt were competing in an impromptu butterbeer-drinking contest, surrounded by chanting spectators. Several tankards went bottoms up before the group erupted into cheers and somebody held up Matt's arm. He looked more woozy than victorious. That was a whole heck of a lot of butterbeer.

Matt noticed Lily watching him, and he smiled a little. She jerked her attention back to half-eaten cake in front of her, and slid into her seat. Interacting with Matt was still uncomfortable. On her last birthday, he'd asked her to be his girlfriend. He'd given her a lovely bouquet of flowers, and they'd spent the afternoon walking around the lake, holding hands and flirting. Afterwards, Lily stayed awake half the night telling Laura about how romantic and wonderful he was. A year later, and they barely even spoke.

Lily needed to move. "I'm ready to go," she said, and left the table without a backwards glance. She squeezed through the pub and out in to the street, blinking her eyes at the sharp afternoon sunshine.

"Hey, Lily." Laura caught Lily's arm. "Would you mind very much going without me? Danny wants us to spend a little time together. We don't get many chances to talk alone."

Lily smirked. "I'm sure that 'talking' is exactly what he has in mind."

Laura laughed and glanced over her shoulder at Danny as he appeared in the doorway. "I hope not," she said.

Rolling her eyes, Lily gave Laura a gentle shove in his direction. "Go on then. Have fun."

"Thanks. I'll catch you later."

They were really good together - Danny and Laura. Very cute. He was much better than any of the boys she'd picked before; they seemed really happy. Lily sighed...she wanted that, too. She ambled down the road alone, fiddling with the edge of her jeans pocket. She was due for a letter from James any time. Maybe it would come with the post in the morning.

Some weeks back, Lily had given up pretending to herself that she didn't fancy James. With Laura as a best friend, it was pretty much pointless to fake something like that anyway. Lily just wished she could like somebody more reasonable. Fancying James was both embarrassing and pointless, which became rather frustrating. She didn't like having her parents pick out a boy for her, and it was mortifying to actually feel she might want to go along with their choice. It would be completely wrong, however, not to protest simply on the principle of the matter. Her moral protesting was a bit easier to swallow knowing that James didn't really want her anyway. He'd told her so himself. That knowledge didn't exactly feel good going down, but it did strengthen her resolve.

Lily looked up as someone fell into step beside her.

"Can I walk with you?" Benjamin asked.

"I don't know. Can you?"

"I guess I will, if you don't mind."

"I don't mind." She really didn't.

Honeydukes was crowded with students, as usual, but Lily did manage get her free Peppermint Frog. It felt like a magnificent accomplishment. Hardly anybody was able to get to Honeydukes on their birthday - let alone without breaking any rules. Once Lily had finished gloating, and after she and Benjamin had loaded up on enough to sweets to get them by until the next Hogsmeade weekend, they wandered out to a few of the neighbouring shops. Lily picked up a large roll of special correspondence parchment (Guaranteed to resist rain and talon damage.) and Benjamin stocked up on Frog Spawn Soap (What he planned to use it for, he wouldn't confess.) They laughed a great deal, spent all of their pocket money, and generally had a riot of a time.

The sun was just beginning to duck behind the trees as they followed the road around the lake and back to the castle. Back to stress and back to school work. Joy. Lily sucked on the Peppermint Frog leg kicking weakly in her cheek.

"You ended up coming to Hogsmeade with me after all," Benjamin said.

"I guess I did."

He kicked a small stone in the road, following it with his eye until they caught up with it. He kicked it again. "It wasn't so bad, was it?"

"I had fun today." Lily watched him grin at the little stone, and she moved the frog leg to kick her other cheek.

"Maybe you'd be okay with trying it again sometime," he said.

"I don't know."

He kicked the stone again, and it skidded off into the grass. "There's only one Hogsmeade weekend left this term."

"Laura and I were planning something special for that last one." As least, she had just decided they were.

Benjamin sighed. "What am I doing wrong?" he asked.

"What do you mean?"

"I've done everything I can think of." He took her hand and pulled her to a stop. "You've been killing me, Lily. When you're around, I can barely think, and when you're gone, I can't think about anything except you." Stuffing her free hand into her pocket, Lily bent her face downward and sucked hard on the frog leg, wedging it immobile between her teeth. Benjamin stepped closer and started to knead her fingertips with his own. "Sometimes I think you might be giving me a chance," he said, "and then you shoot me down cold. I don't know what to do."

"Please don't, Ben. I can't do this."

He exhaled, and continued to massage her fingertips, leaning his cheek against her temple. One of his hands found her palm, and began to trace circles over her skin. He sighed again. "Do you want me to leave you alone?" he asked. "If you ask me to, I'll try."

She shook her head and straightened up. "I just want things to stay the way they are."

"I wish I wanted that." He squeezed her hand and dropped it. "It would be a lot easier."