Wizarding Betrothal

Chapter 14: Thumbs Up

Through the open garage door, Lily and Mike watched the quiet activity of Christmas Day begin to ripple through the neighbourhood. They sat atop a cleared space on the workbench in the back of the garage, where it wasn't quite as chilly, and Lily leaned against Mike who had his arm wrapped around her shoulders. Few people grasped the fact that Lily had two quite separate lives to lead. Hanging out in the Johnson's garage was such a solidly Muggle experience that it was not difficult for Lily to set aside everything wizard...to feel distanced and protected from everything and everyone magical.

"The little kids will be swarming outside soon," Mike noted. "They're just waiting for their mummies to bundle them up properly."

Shifting her leg that was threatening to fall asleep, Lily sighed. Parents always wanted to control their kids as much as they could; she'd rather be forced into three coats and four pairs of pants than be forced into a wedding. Shoot, she'd be happy to wear a Smurf costume to school all year if it would get her out of the betrothal.

Earlier that morning, when Lily had turned up on Mike's doorstep, she had finally broken down and told him as much as she could about James - leaving out the magical bits of course. He'd already figured out from the previous summer that James was serious about attracting Lily's attention, but was a tad shocked to find out that her parents were encouraging it. Mike also claimed that Lily had fancied James ever since the summer, but she wasn't buying that. When she argued with him about it, he just plastered a smug look on his face and stopped talking; he was so maddening sometimes.

A figure passed by the house on foot - clearly underdressed for the weather. He didn't seem to be paying attention to where he was going, though; his head was down, his hands were balled in his pockets, and his black hair was flopping over his eyes. Lily recognised James instantly; nobody could mistake that hair. James was mumbling to himself as he walked straight past the house without a glance.

"Do you think he meant to stop here?" Mike asked.

"Probably," Lily replied. That was actually kind of funny.

"Are you going to stop him?"

"Nope."

"He'll figure out where he's going eventually."

"Yeah, well, he'll have to manage that on his own," she said. There was no way she was going to go chasing after James Potter.

"When he comes back, you have to talk to him," Mike added.

"I don't have anything to say to him." Well, not anything polite anyway.

"Liar."

"Why should I tell him anything except to 'get lost'?"

"You know, Lil, it's not like he's trying to mess with your head for his own sick fun."

Lily just grunted in response.

"Did it ever occur to you," said Mike, "that maybe he's really just trying to do the right thing?"

She shot him a look of disbelief and he continued.

"I mean, you keep complaining that he shouldn't be chasing you around if he's not in love with you, right? But isn't that what dating is all about? Falling in love? Who waits to fall in love before they go on a date?"

She shrugged. Of course he was right, but she still wouldn't admit to being unreasonable. Her situation was different!

"He's just trying to date you, Lil, and from what I saw last summer, he sure fancies you. That's a start isn't it? You're just scared because you're already being asked to marry him."

How did Mike manage to do that? No matter how much she disliked what he said, she could never figure out a way to argue with him. How annoying.

Eventually, a more alert looking James came back into view and peered up the driveway. When he caught Lily's eye she looked away; she wasn't ready to talk to him again just yet.

"Mind if I come in?" He was standing at the edge of the garage with a hopeful look on his face.

Since Lily was ignoring him, Mike spoke up. "Hey, James. Come on in." Withdrawing his arm from Lily's shoulder, Mike nudged her in the back, making her sit up straight. He couldn't make her look at James though, and she trained her eyes on her fingernails.

"Hi, Mike." James stepped in out of the snow and nodded politely.

"Well," Mike said, "my time's up!" He jumped down from the workbench and grinned. "She's all yours James." With that, he wished then both a very happy Christmas and promptly disappeared into the house before Lily could make up a reason for him to stay. The little git - she'd get him back for ditching her like that.

For the time being, however, she had to deal with another little git - the one that was shivering in front of her.

"Hi."

"Hi." Refocused on her fingernails, Lily tried to avoid looking at James while he edged over to stand in front of her.

"Lily," he said, "I, um...I'm sorry."

She didn't answer. She couldn't. She didn't know what to say. She just picked at a cuticle that needed to be trimmed, not looking at him.

"I know I messed up," James went on. "I just...I wish you'd forgive me. I need another chance. Please?"

Lily's picking fingers switched to a different nail.

"Oh, come on, Lily. Won't you talk to me?" Extracting his fists from his pockets, James took hold of Lily's fidgeting hands in her lap, putting an end to her cuticle inspection.

"Your hands are cold," she said.

"You have my gloves."

"I do?" Lily looked up at him and he nodded. "Where?"

"The inside breast pocket." Lily had not forgotten that she was wearing James' jacket; in fact, she rather liked it.

"Do you want them?" she asked. Maybe he wanted his jacket back too.

"Not right now." James tightened his grip on her fingers and took a deep breath. "Lily, listen. I care about you. I want to be with you...and I want to love you, but I need your help on this. I need you to let me in."

Unable to pick at her fingers, Lily resorted to sucking on her teeth instead. He'd probably been practising that little speech while he walked up the street. She wasn't stupid enough to fall for it; but still, it was kind of sweet.

Sighing, James quietly said, "Please don't stay mad at me. I'm really sorry. Really."

Lily folded her hands around his icy fingertips and rubbed them, trying to warm him up. "Me too," she murmured.

"You are?" James said, looking astonished. "About what?"

"Everything." Wasn't that the truth!

The whole day had been a mess. If Lily hadn't let James kiss her - if she had just pushed him away instead - then her mind would never have gotten so flustered and confused, and they never would have started fighting. Being mad was never fun, but it was especially horrible being mad at James; she'd been feeling all broken and lacking ever since she ran away from him earlier. She wasn't used to that; then again, she also wasn't used to being deceived and betrayed.

James was trying to regain Lily's attention. "Lily, are we okay?"

"I don't know." She meant it.

Lily desperately wanted everything to be okay between them. But how could they be? He'd made her think he loved her and then backed out at the last minute. She wasn't going to put herself in that kind of situation again.

Mike didn't think James had hurt her intentionally though, and deep down, Lily knew he was right. Even so, that knowledge didn't make it less painful - in a way it was worse. As hard as he was trying to feel something for her, James didn't really care about Lily at all. He couldn't help it. That hurt more than anything.

Lily needed to move. Releasing James' hands, she said, "We should get back." Hopefully he would be merciful and let her change the subject.

He nodded and backed up so that she could slide down from the workbench. He didn't give her much room though, and as soon as her feet hit the floor, James embraced her. Keeping her face down-turned, Lily's cheek pressed into his damp jumper and she felt her throat tighten. James kissed the crown of her head before letting her go and clearing his throat.

Lily could tell he was freezing. "Do you want your jacket back? I can borrow one from Mike."

"Nah, you keep it," James said. "I'm not cold." Okay tough guy, have it your way. Unzipping the jacket, Lily reached for the inner pocket and located James' gloves. She handed them over without comment.

"Thanks." James grinned sheepishly and worked his fingers into the warm wool and leather.

Re-tightening the collar around her neck, Lily walked out onto the driveway and stared straight up into the cloudy sky. She looked over towards the house and caught Mike watching her from his window; he was giving her an alternating thumbs-up and thumbs-down sign along with a crooked smile. Laughing, Lily shrugged, but James came up behind her and gave Mike a thumbs-up. Lily would talk things over with Mike tomorrow.

It was Christmas. A strange Christmas, true, but it was Christmas all the same. Walking home, Lily watched the awakening community with fascination. Up and down the street, little children were already bursting outside to ruin their new toys. Someone's father was standing in his slippers on the porch while he watched the noisy action and sipped his very steamy cup of coffee. The family cat was sneaking out the door behind him. A teen boy that Lily recognised was helping his little sister ride her new bike. Several children were clambering out of a minivan that had just pulled up to the curb and were shouting for 'Grandma' who ran out to meet them. A black dog was barking with excitement as a large scale game of hide and seek seemed to be breaking out among some boys a little further down, drawing the other neighbourhood kids like a magnet. And a young couple with much on their respective minds strolled down the path in an awkward silence.

Once Lily and James had passed, mostly unscathed, through the children's game, they turned down the quiet, narrow road that led to the Evans' back gate. As she approached the fence, Lily felt something cold and wet shoved into the palm of her hand. Startled, she looked down and saw a shaggy black dog nuzzling her fingers with his nose as he trotted along behind them.

"Oh, hi there! Look how cute you are!"

When James turned to see Lily reaching down to scratch the dog around the ears, he rolled his eyes and laughed, shaking his head. Maybe he thought she was silly for talking to a dog; James would just have to get over it.

"I've never seen you around here before," Lily said to the dog. She squatted down next to him and scratched his back happily. He seemed really friendly. "Your family must have moved here recently."

"He looks like a mangy old stray to me." James stood with his arms crossed and a amused expression on his face.

"Don't listen to nasty old James," Lily cooed to the dog. "You're a good boy, aren't you?"

James snorted and the dog gave a short bark. "I'll bet he's swarming with fleas."

"He is not. Leave him alone. I like him." The dog leaned into a vigorous scratch on his ribcage. "Look, James, he likes it."

"Yeah, I'll bet he does," James said.

"Come here and pet him," Lily suggested. The dog ducked around Lily and settled himself under her arm, giving James a fierce look.

James laughed. "I really don't think he wants me to do that."

"Aww. You aren't afraid of James are you?" Nudging her hand with his nose, the dog looked at her expectantly and she laughed, moving to scratch him some more. "I need to go, boy. You should go home too." In response, Lily got a slobbery lick across her cheek.

"Hey!" James marched towards the dog. "You keep your tongue to yourself!"

As Lily stood up, wiping her cheek off, the dog ran around behind her to avoid James.

"Go find your own girlfriend if you want one!" James tried to grab him by the scruff of the neck, but wasn't quick enough. By the time he'd reached around Lily, the dog had run around to Lily's other side. James lunged for him again and missed, but the dog still stayed close to Lily. This went on for several attempts before Lily realised that James was laughing and that the dog was wagging its tail. Were they playing with each other? Whatever they were doing, Lily was stuck in the middle as the two were practically chasing each other in circles around her legs. She couldn't help but hope they didn't knock her over.

James finally gave the dog a sharp slap on the butt, causing him to run off a few metres where he turned and growled in reproach while James laughed.

"Serves you right you ugly mutt!" he called.

The dog ran away and disappeared in a stand of trees.

"That wasn't very nice," Lily said.

"He asked for it."

"He's just a dog, James. What if he's afraid of me now?"

"Don't worry." James smiled and opened the gate. "I'm sure he won't hold it against you."

"How do you know?" Lily wondered defensively.

"Just trust me."

Trust him? Why should she? What did he know anyway?

They crossed the garden and were approaching the back porch when Sirius strode into view from around the side of the house. He jogged past James, whacking him on the back of the head, and then sidled up next to Lily and wrapped an arm around her waist.

"There you are, sugar! I missed you," Sirius said. He led her into the house while a disquieting wave of guilt washed over Lily. She realised that, because of her, Sirius had been left alone with her family. Poor guy! "I'm really sorry, Sirius. I've been totally rude today."

"Oh, please!" he said, opening the door for her. "You don't have a rude bone in your sweet little body."

Lily grinned broadly. "That's got to be the nicest lie I've ever heard."

"I do my best."

"So you forgive me, then?" she asked.

"Of course." Following her inside, Sirius closed the door in James' face and held it shut. "But you have to do me a favour."

"Okay." The doorknob was rattling while James tried to push the door open. "What kind of favour?"

"Well, you know how James is completely smitten with you, right?"

Where did that come from? "No. He doesn't like me that way." He'd already told her so.

"Sure he does." Sirius waved away her objection and went on. "But he's kind of clueless, you know. He needs a little help."

James rapped on the window while rubbing the back of his head.

"What sort of help?" She was getting worried.

"Just be nice to him and give him a lot of time. He'll come around eventually."

She wasn't so sure about that. "I'm already nice to him."

"I know you are, sugar; just keep it up. Give the guy a little encouragement."

Lily watched through the glass as James gave up on knocking and ruffled his hair in deliberation. She wasn't quite sure she wanted to encourage him. If he didn't love her, she sure wasn't going to try to make him. And did she even want him to feel that way at all? It was horrible feeling so mixed up and confused.

Lily finally chose not to respond to Sirius' request. "Why did you lock him outside?" she asked.

"Because he's hilarious when he's aggravated, isn't he?"

He had her there; she was trying not to laugh at the expression on James' face. "He's got his wand out now," Lily warned, moving cautiously away from the door.

"Thanks for the tip!" Spinning around, Sirius yanked the door open. "Prongs! There you are. Lily's been looking all over for you!"

Smiling, Lily peered around Sirius' shoulder and caught James' twinkling eyes. He was awfully hard to stay mad at...the little git.