I Am My Own Knight

Chapter Three: Red Retribution

Starvation was the worst way to go. Lily was sure she could endure any other death with dignity; starvation, however, was another story. She walked out of Potions with a grumbling tummy and a throbbing headache, cursing herself for skipping breakfast in favour of a snog. Granted, once she'd had her fill of lunch, she would probably think it had been a stellar trade off, but as she started up the stairs from the dungeons, her mood was less than pleasant. This hadn't been helped by the fact that, throughout Transfiguration earlier that morning, Sirius had persisted in winking at Richard, and that, over their cauldrons in Potions, he kept up a steady string of suggestive comments aimed at Lily, much to the amusement of nearby students. Richard, however, was not at all amused, and he had darted off after the lesson, claiming he needed to finish his Transfiguration essay. Lily was ready to slug Sirius in the gut if he didn't give it a rest.

Sirius, however, did not appear to recognize the danger that he was in. At the top of the stairs, he sidled up next to Lily and wrapped his arm around her waist. Lily gritted her teeth and pushed him off.

"Hey now. Is that anyway to treat your lover? I heard a few minutes ago that we've been having a torrid affair all week."

"And I'm sure you've done all in your power to convince people otherwise."

"Why should I? I'm rather enjoying this little fling."

"Give it a rest, Sirius." James walked up behind them. "It's getting old."

"Very." Lily tried to hurry ahead of him, but he quickened his pace. She'd just pushed into the Great Hall when Sirius grabbed her around the waist again, in plain view of anybody in the Hall.

"Wait for me, baby," he said loudly. Several students looked around at them.

She pushed him away, scowling. That was the last straw. Lily shot him her best attempt at a death glare and marched towards where Georgina was sitting with a group of girls at the Gryffindor table. James and Sirius sat across from Remus Lupin and Peter Pettigrew a few seats down.

Lily started piling chicken onto her plate, well aware that the girls' conversation had stopped upon her arrival.

Georgina passed a jug of pumpkin juice over to Lily. "I've been trying to tell them all about your scuffle with Peeves the other night, but they aren't taking me very seriously. They would rather believe you've been snogging Sirius in your spare time."

"Have they really figured it out already?"

All four of the girls froze to stare at Lily. A few seats down, Lily thought she heard a spluttering sound followed by a fork clinking against the stone floor.

"Have you really been?" Sara tried to cover her surprise by picking at the food on her plate. "Isn't that...nice."

"What, snogging Sirius? I wouldn't exactly call it nice. It was all wet and sloppy...a bit like being kissed by a dog, actually."

There was a bit of an explosion a few seats down, drawing their attention. Sirius was staring at Lily with a look of abject horror, and was covered in what appeared to be spat out pumpkin juice. Across from him, Remus held his face in his hands, shaking with laughter; and he wasn't alone - Peter and James were roaring as well.

Lily turned back to her food, self-satisfied. Georgina was giggling into her napkin, but the other girls seemed completely flabbergasted.

"He's really that bad of a kisser?" Kathleen asked in a low voice.

"I don't believe it," Ellie whispered. "Olivia dated him for ages last year, and she was always raving about him."

"Olivia didn't have a lot of experience back then, did she?" Lily replied, intent on carrying her point. She heard some coughing from the boys' section, but forced herself not to look.

"I think I'm going to head up to the library," Sara said, standing up. "I want to check over my essay before Divination. Ellie and Kathleen decided to join her, although Lily had the impression that discussing homework was the furthest thing from their minds.

"What did I miss?" Georgina asked. "I feel completely left out right now."

"Sirius is being a royal pain in the worst way. He's got Richard all upset, thinking that I've been sneaking around behind his back."

"Still? I thought you two cleared that up this morning."

"We did. But you saw how Sirius was acting in Transfiguration. He was even worse in Potions, and he just won't leave it alone."

As soon as Sara and her friends were completely out of sight, Sirius slid down the bench close to Lily. "That was low, Evans. Really low. I've been trying to get a date with Sara Danson for weeks, and you just up and told her that I...I..."

"Kiss like a dog?" she offered.

Remus snorted and looked away.

"Shut-up," Sirius ordered over his shoulder. He glared back at Lily. "That was totally un-cool."

"You should have thought of that before you started encouraging stupid rumours about me."

"Can't you take a joke?"

"Not when your so-called jokes get my boyfriend mad at me."

Sirius rubbed his eyes and groaned. "I can't believe you did that."

Lily allowed him to groan and suffer for a moment while she took a bite of chicken. "Tell you what." She patted her lips with the napkin and poured a goblet of Pumpkin Juice. "I'll explain the truth to Sara. But you have to stop bothering Richard and put an end to those rumours."

"Fine. Fine. So it's a truce then?"

James, Remus and Peter slid down the benches as well, apparently to soak up their friend's mortification.

"Aww. Have you two broken up, then?" James asked.

Peter shook his head. "What a shame."

"And I was looking forward to dancing at the wedding," Remus added, settling himself across from Georgina.

"This girl is vicious," Sirius said to James.

"Maybe you'll listen to me the next time I tell you to leave her alone."

"I was only trying to help."

Georgina made a face. "What do you mean you were trying to help?" she asked. "Help with what?"

Sirius turned away from James to look at Georgina and Lily. Both boys had a rather disturbing look of uncomfortable shock on their faces.

Remus jumped in to explain. "Sirius has decided, unilaterally, I might add, that it is completely disloyal for a Gryffindor to date a non-Gryffindor. He's been going around trying to bust up inter-house couples all week."

Lily was outraged. "That's horrible!"

"Yes, it is, isn't it?" Sirius said. "But all of you Gryffindor girls are just so delicious I want to save you all for myself and my friends."

"Eww..."

"So your little plan only applies to the girls then?" Georgina asked. "Because I saw Peter holding hands with that Corinne girl from Hufflepuff the other day."

"Oh, well, you know, that's Peter. He can go out with any girl that'll take him without a bribe."

Peter's face coloured and he forced a chuckle while the other boys laughed at his expense.

"You know what Sirius?" Lily shook her head in astonishment. "I didn't think I could ever be so disgusted with somebody. Are you really trying to break me and Richard up on purpose for your sick philosophy?"

Sirius sighed and looked at Lily sadly. "No. You've caught me, dearest. Remus here was just trying to help cover for me. Really, I just don't think Bowman is nearly good enough for you, and it breaks my heart to see you debase yourself like that. I'd do just about anything to see you with somebody more deserving."

"And who's that? You?"

He grinned and wriggled his eyebrows. "That could be arranged. Would you like to try?"

Lily pushed her plate forward and rubbed the bridge of her nose. "I think I've just lost my appetite."

"That's the first sign of true love!" He leaned in close to her ear to whisper. "Come on and run away with me, Lily."

Lily pushed him back. "Don't you want to chase down Sara and ask her out or something?"

Sirius settled back into his seat, scowling. "What's the use?"

"It keeps the rest of us entertained, for one."

James nudged Sirius with his elbow and nodded in the direction of the Slytherin table. He smirked and looked back down at his food while the other boys looked over and started sniggering under their breaths. Lily followed their gaze and saw Severus Snape making his way down the long table, accompanied by a distinctive limp. He sent a dirty look in their direction.

"What happened to Snape?" Georgina asked.

"No idea." James gave him a polite wave, smiled, and returned to his lunch.

"Not a clue," Remus echoed.

"It could have been anything," Sirius said, "but the point is that he deserved it, didn't he?"

"Sirius Black, what did you do?" Lily demanded.

"What are you looking at me for? I didn't do anything!"

"Why don't I believe you?"

"Probably because you're smart," said Remus. "But in this case he's telling the truth. Somebody else got Snape this time."

"Oh, well that's disappointing," she said, sighing. "I was going to congratulate you."

"What for?" Georgina asked her. "He's only got a limp. I was going to set the idiot's hair on fire and skewer him on my broomstick, only somebody sent him to the hospital wing first."

"Look at him pushing that little boy out of his seat." Lily stared in disgust. "What a creep."

"Those other Slytherins really seem to like him a lot more this year, though," said Georgina to Lily, as a couple of Slytherins clapped Snape on the back. "He isn't quite such an outcast anymore."

"Slytherins only like people who are extra vile."

"You know, Sirius," James said, "it really wasn't long ago that Lily used to stick up for old Snivellus."

Lily bristled at that. "Only when you lot were being mean to him just for the sake of being mean. But if he deserves it, he deserves it."

Sirius smiled and patted her hand. "I knew you'd see the light one day."

"You did not!" James countered. "Two summers ago I bet you ten galleons and an embarrassing stunt that one day she wouldn't defend him, and you took my bet."

"He's right," Remus said. "I remember."

"I was there too," Peter said. "You told him that Lily was just too nice and that she'd never believe Snape deserved what he got and that James had better stop letting Lily catch him hexing Snape or he'd never get anywhere with her and he said...Oh! Oh!" Peter grabbed his ears, which were quickly sprouting bunches of yellow pansies. "Somebody hexed me!"

"I bet it was that blonde kid over at the Ravenclaw table," James suggested, casually drawing his wand from under the table. "You want me to hex him back?"

"I can't hear you," Peter said, his eyes wide and watery. "My ears are too full of flowers!" Frustrated, he pulled at the blossoms, but they didn't seem ready to budge. "Argh!"

His friends were politely trying to stifle their laughter, but they made no move to help him.

Sirius covered his smile with Lily's goblet of pumpkin juice. "Go on to the hospital wing. Pomfrey can sort you out."

"What?" Peter said much too loudly. The boys snickered even more.

"Come on, mate." Remus stood and pulled Peter up by the shoulders. "Off to the hospital wing. Let's go."

"I think I need to go to the hospital wing," Peter shouted.

Remus nodded at him and looked to the others. "Tell Flitwick I'll be late, will you?"

"Thanks, Remus," James said. "Take your time."

"Don't worry, our Head Boy will cover for you." Sirius waved a silent goodbye to Peter, and then dissolved into laughter as soon as his back was turned.

"That was horrible!" Lily said.

"Yes," Georgina admitted, "but it was kind of funny too."

"Really, there was no call to hex him like that, James."

James snapped to attention. "What makes you think it was me?"

Lily rolled her eyes. "Okay, sure," she said. "I wonder who hexed Peter right when he was talking about James' big embarrassing fifth year obsession with me. What's your opinion, George?"

"It was James," she said, and then speared a carrot on her fork. "I saw him take his wand out of his pocket and slip it under the table just before."

Sirius held up a hand. "Well I vote for the random blonde Ravenclaw."

"So do I...poor kid," James added.

"We'll have to punish him for picking on Pete."

"Would you like to do the honours?" James asked Sirius.

"Why thank you. How generous." And with a flick of Sirius' wand, the boy's hair was a wild shade of Gryffindor red.

Lily and Georgina stared, shocked. "I can't believe you did that! Change him back."

"What for? I think everyone should have red hair. James..." He pointed his wand at James, whose hair lit up in a brilliant shade of red. "Me..." Sirius did the same to his own dark locks. "Lily...oh wait! Lily already has pretty red hair. But George over there..."

Georgina grabbed for her long curls. "You even think about it, Sirius Black, and I swear I will hit you with my Sticky Toe Jam Jinx every morning for the rest of the term."

Sirius clamped his mouth shut, slipped his wand back into his pocket, and nodded respectfully.

Other students began noticing the three new redheads in the Great Hall. There was a great deal of snickering and pointing, and the Ravenclaw who was no longer blonde was seen attempting to get a look at his own short hair. He didn't seem terribly perturbed once he saw James and Sirius sporting the new style as well. In fact, by the time Lily had finished her lunch, several other new redheads had sprouted up around the Great Hall.

James and Sirius made to walk Lily and Georgina to Charms, but they were sidetracked by a trio of second-year students wanting help colouring their own hair. The girls walked on without them, but paused at the doors to look back as James demonstrated a wand movement to one of the second-years.

"They're going to be late to Charms again," Lily said. "Flitwick will give them another detention."

"They know that," said Georgina. "It's just they think detentions are a fair trade off for having fun."

As Lily watched, one of the little boys successfully changed his hair colour, eliciting cheers and high fives all around. James looked thrilled at his small friend's triumph.

"Maybe it is a fair trade off," Lily mused. "Maybe it is after all."

And with that, Lily and Georgina crossed the Entrance Hall arm in arm, each privately formulating ways to persuade Professor Flitwick to excuse the boys' tardiness just once more.