Who Wants to Live Forever

Who Wants to Live Forever

A Series of Vignettes

#3: Fate Has Decreed It

by: pandorabox82

Disclaimer: This story is based on characters and situations created and owned by JK Rowling, various publishers including but not limited to Bloomsbury Books, Scholastic Books and Raincoast Books, and Warner Bros., Inc. No money is being made and no copyright or trademark infringement is intended. Who Wants to Live Forever belongs to Queen. It was written before I was born, so I obviously did not write it.

Author´s Note: If anyone has seen my Minerva and Albus muse anywhere, would you please kindly tell them to come home. I want to write their story sometime this century. This was a really odd pairing to write about, but once I got going, I really liked writing about them. I may even write another story about them someday. Maybe. Yes, this is another story where I was bawling at the end of writing it, again sitting before class had started, channelling my inner angst muse. I think my professor thinks I´m a bit emotional. Oh, yes, 20 points to your house if you can point out the two references I put in this story. So, it´s one more story down, too many to go. Ja ne, minna-chan!

"Remus, I believe you were in the same year as Sibyll."

"That´s right, Albus. How are you, Sibyll?"

"I am well. You should know that you will die peacefully, Fate has decreed it." She moved off up the stairs to her tower, leaving behind to hang in the air the heavy scent of jasmine.

"She hasn´t given that up then?"

"No, it´s still her favourite little game." Albus lead Remus to where he´d be staying for the year, and then left the young man alone.

`As if anything in my life could be peaceful,´ he thought as he lay down on the bed to take a quick nap. His dreams that afternoon were haunted by a pair of sea-green eyes promising relief from all his struggling.

*****

The next time he saw Sibyll was a few weeks later at the Sorting Ceremony. She looked so serious and forlorn, and she kept turning her eyes to Harry. "Sibyll, is everything all right?"

"Oh, yes, Remus. I´m fine. I just worry about young Mister Potter, he has a Grim about him, and I´m concerned about that."

"Don´t worry, Sibyll. Albus is here, he´d never let any harm come to one of his students."

"I suppose you´re right."

"Of course I am. Remember, we were both students here, and he never let anything hurt us."

"Physically, Remus, physically. There are other ways to hurt people, you know." Sibyll looked at her plate, missing Remus´ look of concern. "If you´ll excuse me, the Fates have said that I should leave before something horrible happens. Good-night." She stood from the table and left the room, as Remus watched her. No one else seemed to notice she´d left, and when Remus tried to turn his attention back to his food, he found that he´d lost his appetite. He looked at Albus, who sagely nodded to him, before he followed his instincts and went after her.

He made his way up to the North Tower, and found her sitting on the top step, her head lowered, her hands clasped before her on her lap. Without looking up, she said, "I knew you´d come to see me, Remus."

"How, did you have a vision?"

"No, you´re a kind soul, and I revealed something at supper that would appeal to a soul like yours."

"Sibyll, is there anything I can do for you?" he kindly asked.

"I don´t believe so, Remus. Besides, you´d treat me just like they did, if you knew my heart."

"What do you mean? I would never intentionally hurt you, Sibyll."

"That´s what your friend, Sirius, said when he told me..." She broke off there, and her shoulders began to slightly shake.

Remus took a seat beside her on the stairs and put his hand on her shoulder. She stiffened slightly before pulling away from his touch. He tried a different approach and covered her hands with one of his. She looked into his eyes and found him sincere. Slowly, she unclasped her hands and let him take one in a gentle, warm embrace. "How did Sirius hurt you, Sibyll?"

"He told me to wait in the Astronomy Tower, one night during our sixth year, and that he´d send the person who I had a fancy for up there. I waited all night, bathed in the light of the full moon for him to show, but he never did. I never forgot how it felt when the owl delivered me the note that said it had all been a practical joke of Sirius´."

"Who was supposed to meet you that night?" Remus asked, though he had the feeling that he knew it would be one of the Marauders, perhaps James.

"It was supposed to be you there, that night," she whispered as she stood and tried to escape to her room. Nevertheless, he held her there, refusing to let go of her hand. He rose to face her, yet she refused to meet his eyes. Bringing his other hand up to her face, he slowly wiped the tears from her cheeks, and she shuddered and leaned in close to him.

"Why did you want it to be me?"

"Because whenever I came near you, I could feel the gentleness of your aura. You always took the time to speak to me, even when your friends ignored me. Because somewhere along the way, I fell in love with you. I know you probably think it silly of me, but I still do."

"I-I don´t know what to say."

"Then don´t say anything, and leave me with my illusions." Placing her hands on his chest, she gave him a soft kiss on his lips.

Breaking the kiss, Remus began, "Sibyll, I really must tell you something..."

"Shh...I want to remember everything about this moment as being perfect." She moved from his side and opened the door to her personal chambers. "Good-night, Remus." She then closed the door, shutting him in the outside world.

`Maybe she doesn´t know about me, after all, she hasn´t ever left Hogwarts, she got hired here immediately upon our graduation. Then again, maybe she does know, and just doesn´t care about how she´ll be treated, should the world ever find out she loves a werewolf.´ He made his way to his rooms, the taste of her lips still on his.

****

She wasn´t at breakfast the next morning, and Remus didn´t the chance to ask after her. His day was a blur of activity - teaching his first class, creating lesson plans for other classes, and doing research for future projects. Finally, it was dinnertime, and he went into the Great Hall, looking for her. Once again, she was absent from the table, and while he ate, Remus lost himself in thought.

`How should I feel? If this is real, what should I look for? I´ve never been in love before, so I have no idea how to treat her. Yet spending the rest of my life with someone who loves me sounds life music to my heart. But what about Sirius? He could harm us all if he manages to get inside Hogwarts. Life is so very complicated, I only have a short time to tell her the truth.´

"She rarely comes down to eat with us, Remus. I´m certain she wouldn´t mind some company after dinner," Albus said, as they finished their meal. Remus looked at him, and he gave Remus a look that spoke of understanding and concern. "Be gentle with her, when you tell her," he added, as if he knew what Remus was wrestling with.

"I will, Albus," Remus responded. He turned from the table and made his way back to the North Tower. Upon reaching the door, he knocked, and she opened her door. "Good evening, Sibyll."

"Remus, what brings you here?" she asked, a faint blush staining her cheeks.

"There´s something I need to discuss with you. May I come in?"

Sibyll nodded, and let him into her chambers. "Take a seat on the sofa. Would you like some tea?"

"Earl Grey, please, if you have it."

"Of course. I´ll be right back." She disappeared into her rooms, affording Remus the chance to look around. There were no pictures of family or friends decorating her walls. Instead, there were play posters, some signed, most framed. He was struck by one in particular - I Want to Be Your Canary. `Would she be content to spend the rest of her life in a cage?´ he thought.

She returned with the tea a moment later, and came up to him. "It was a beautiful play. I managed to catch a rare performance of it when I visited Alexandria last year." She handed him a mug and then took a sip from hers.

"Was she content to be the canary?" he asked suddenly.

"Who?"

"The main heroine. Did she ever have any regrets?"

"No, for she was in love, and she was loved. She would do anything for love. That was what defined her."

"Love´s important to you, isn´t it?"

"After death, love is the only true thing. Life cannot be lived without love. Fate decreed that so very long ago."

He fixed his gaze on her, his eyes troubled. "Is there ever a time when love is not enough to keep two souls together?"

"I don´t believe so. Why?"

"Say an undesirable, such as a werewolf, were to fall in love with a witch or wizard, and he told them of his state. Could love survive even there?"

"True, they would be living under a microscope, but if they truly loved each other, it wouldn´t matter. I would feel for the normal one, though. To be held under such scrutiny, always watched, I could never handle that. Why do you think I´m always in this blasted tower?" She gave a weak laugh. "Sorry to be so long-winded."

"That´s all right. Listen, Sibyll, please listen to me. I know you love me, and I believe I´m falling in love with you. But there´s something you should know - the reason for my questions, you see, when I was a small child, I was bitten. That´s why you must find someone else to love, someone who can give you everything I can´t."

"But we´re here at Hogwarts, Remus. No one can touch us here."

"Don´t you get it? I´m a werewolf! Once outside these walls, that´s all the world will see me as. They´ll try to get at me by hurting you, and you´ll always be in their reproachful gaze. I won´t subject you to that."

"I don´t care! I love you, and we can stay here forever! Albus always takes care of his misfits!" She was sobbing now, great sobs that shook her body. He wrapped his arms around her, and her cries lessened. She looked up at him, her eyelashes spiky with tears. "Make love to me, Remus. Leave me with one sweet moment to remember you by."

****

The next morning, they parted. There were no tears, they´d all been shed the night before. But sometimes, during Divination, she´ll look a little more withdrawn, as if some inner fire has been doused. And sometimes, he´ll look with longing to the North Tower. And they´ll both wonder if she could have been his canary.