Who Wants to Live Forever

Who Wants to Live Forever

A Series of Vignettes

#2: Give My Heart Back Whole

by: pandorabox82

"Lily, is that Petunia?"

"Yeah, it is. Mother made me bring her picture along with everyone else´s."

"She´s so pretty," he sighed.

"What was that, Sirius?"

"Oh, nothing, Lily. Have a good summer." He put the pictures on the top of her clothes and shut the trunk. Lily never noticed him pocket Petunia´s picture. Casually, he asked, "Where was it that you lived again?"

"Sirius, we live in Surrey. I´ve told you that a hundred times before."

"That´s right, I remember now. Well, I guess I´ll see you in September, then."

"All right, I´ll see you then, Sirius. And try to stay out of trouble this summer. I want to finish Hogwarts with you."

"I´ll try, Lily. Believe me, I think I´ll find something to occupy my time."

Just then, Professor McGonagall swept into the room. "Lily, are you packed yet? The rest of your dorm was ready twenty minutes ago. Mr Black, your parents are waiting for you. Seems they don´t want a repeat of last year."

"He gave as good as he got, I swear he did, Professor!"

"Be that as it may, they still want to escort you home. Have a good summer you two." She left them alone in the Common Room once more.

"Well, you heard what she said, my parents are here for me. Say good-bye to James for me, okay?"

"I´ll make sure to. Owl me, often, okay?"

"Fine. See you later." He put a hovering charm on his luggage and climbed out of the portrait hole. `I wonder how I can convince my parents to let me go to Surrey?´ he thought as he made his way down the stairs.

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Lily had been home not even two whole days, and already Petunia was feeling like an outsider in her own family again. "I´m going outside to work in my garden," she announced as she finished her breakfast.

"All right, dear," her mother replied absently, as she and Mr Evans listened to Lily telling about her latest exploits at that freak show she called a school.

Petunia pushed her chair away from the table, stuck her plate in the sink, and stalked outside. Once in her garden, she began to pull furiously at the weeds.

"Hello, Petunia! I saw your sister is back from boarding school. Is it as bad as always?"

Petunia looked up into the round face of Vernon Dursley, their next door neighbour´s son. "No, Vernon, it´s worse. That´s why I´m out here so early. How was your year at Smeltings?"

"Very good, I´m in the top 10% of my form, and might even be Head Boy next year."

"That´s nice to hear."

"Well, I should be going. I´m helping my father out this summer at Grunnings. Talk to you later." He gave a short wave and then joined his father in the car. Petunia watched them drive off, and then went back to pulling the weeds.

Twenty-five minutes later, she stood up and found herself face to face with a handsome young man. "Who are you?" she asked, more than a little startled.

"I´m Sirius. Our family just moved here from London. I thought I´d introduce myself to some of the neighbours, but you´re the only one outside right now. Who are you?"

"I´m Petunia Evans."

"Well, Petunia Evans, do you want to go to the park? I was there yesterday, and they have some beautiful flowers there. Not as nice as the one´s you have here, but pretty nonetheless."

"Let me go ask my parents. I´ll be right back." She hurried into the house, and found her parents in the living room, her father getting ready to go into his office. "Mother, is it okay for me to go to the park with one of the neighbour boys?"

"Is it that Vernon?"

"No, Mother, he just recently moved into the area with his family. His name is Sirius."

Lily´s head shot up out of the book she was reading. "Did you say Sirius?" she queried.

"Yes. He seems like a perfectly nice young man, despite his odd name. So, may I go?"

"As long as you´re back by one, dear, I suppose you can go."

"Thank you, Mother. Have a good day at work, Father." And she was out of the house in a flash.

"They said yes, then?"

"Of course! Let´s get going, we only have until one."

Together, they made their way to the park, and Sirius showed her the flowers he had mentioned earlier. Then, he led her to a bench by the duck pond, and they sat there watching the little kids feed the ducks.

"So, where do you go to school?"

"The local comprehensive. My parents don´t have enough money to send me anywhere else, not with all the money it costs to send Lily to school. And you?"

"I´ll be starting my final year at a private school is Scotland, come September."

"Really? My sister´s school is in Scotland. What a coincidence."

"Yes, it is. So, what are you going to do when you finish school?"

"Oh, that´s still two years off, I don´t know, maybe be a secretary for awhile, or travel some. I haven´t really given it much thought."

"I want to be an a- a bobby. Chase down criminals and all that, very exciting."

"But aren´t you worried that you´ll get hurt?"

"Not really, I´ll be more focused on getting justice."

"That´s so noble. I wish I had big dreams like that. I´ll just most likely end up as a housewife with one kid and nothing better to do than spy on my neighbours."

"But what do you want to do in your heart of hearts?"

""Well, I´d want to be a writer, telling about history from a romantic viewpoint. But I´d never be good enough to do that."

"As long as we believe in our dreams, we can do anything."

She smiled at him, her eyes lighting up with pleasure. "Thank you for not mocking me. Lily thinks I´m silly to want to be a writer." She glanced at her watch and saw it was approaching the time she needed to be home by. "Sirius, thanks for introducing yourself to me. I´ve had a lovely morning, but I need to be getting back."

"Well, let me walk you home at least."

"I´d like that." They headed back to the Evans home, and upon reaching the gate, he opened it for her.

"I´ll come by tomorrow, and you can show me your garden. Have a good afternoon." She went in her house, oblivious to the fact that Lily had been waiting for them to come back.

"Are you insane, Black? You know she hates magic!"

"I haven´t told her who I really am yet. I´ll know when the time is right. Lily, I think I love her."

"I´ve told you about all the horrid things she´s done to me, and you think you love her! I know you´re insane, and I´m going to tell her the truth."

"No, Lily, you can´t! I forbid you from even acting like you know me! You won´t ruin this for me. It´s the one thing in my life that I am serious about."

"Fine, Sirius, I won´t interfere, but I won´t let you hurt her, either. She´s still my baby sister, after all."

"I wouldn´t dream of hurting her. Not for anything in the world."

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The next day, true to his word, Sirius appeared, though it was after lunch this time. "Will you show me your garden today? I´d love to see what´s growing there, after the small glimpse I got yesterday," he said.

"Come inside the yard, and I´ll be happy to show it to you," she answered. She waited while he opened the gate and approached her. Upon reaching her side, he threaded his hand with hers, and let her lead him into her realm. Ordinary flowers became special, as she extolled upon the work she put into them. It seemed to him, just then, that the flowers were her children. He vowed to bring her some blossom to remember him by when it came time for him to return to school.

As Petunia began to show Sirius her roses, Lily came out of the house, bearing a tray of lemonade and biscuits. Petunia rolled her eyes, and Sirius gave a low moan of annoyance at the sudden disturbance in their idyll.

"Petunia, I thought you and your friend might like some refreshments, so I brought some lemonade for is. I´m Lily, by the way, and you are?" she asked.

"I´m Sirius."

"Interesting name."

"I know. My parents are astronomers."

"Thank you for thinking of us, Lily. You can go now, Sirius and I are discussing flowers, and I know that topic bores you to death."

Lily smiled at Sirius, a bit too brightly, and said, "It was a pleasure to meet you. Hopefully you can meet my parents soon. I´m sure they´d love to meet you." She then went back inside to finish a Potions essay, one of the five Professor Compton had assigned.

As soon as Lily was in the house, Sirius asked, "Is she always that perky?"

"She´s been like that her whole life, however it became worse when she got her letter that said she was accepted at that school of hers. Still, it wouldn´t be all that bad, if she didn´t keep lording it over me that I´ll never be like her."

"So, even though she´s constantly cheerful and all, you still love her?"

"Of course, she´s my sister. I´ve always wanted to be more like her, because she has such a charmed life." She smiled at him, and grabbed a glass of lemonade off the tray that Lily´d left, trying to hide the tears that had stung her eyes as her thoughts had turned to how much she admired Lily. Sirius noticed her tears, and tried to cheer her up.

"Hey now, none of this vulnerable stuff until I kiss you for the first time." He wriggled his nose at her, and she gave a soft laugh, and then led him to her favourite shade tree. Sitting, she beckoned him to join her. She sat with her back against the tree, and he rested his head on her lap, gazing up at the leaves. They spent the afternoon that way, speaking of their dreams, fears, and everything in between.

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The next day, Sirius dropped in for tea, and Petunia introduced him to her mother. They spent a pleasant afternoon discussing Sirius´ family and his background, and Petunia could tell her mother approved of him. As he left that day, he told Petunia his news.

"My parents are dragging me off on a holiday, and I´ll be gone for a week. I promise to write to you, because I shall miss you."

"Can I write to you as well?" Petunia queried.

"I wish you could, but we´ll be going to different places, so your letter would never reach me. Before I go though, I have something to ask you. Will you be my girlfriend?"

"I-I suppose so. Oh, don´t go, I´ll miss you too much!" She threw her arms around him, and cried into his shoulder.

"It´s only for a week, it will go by fast, you´ll see."

"Well, have fun and don´t forget to write."

"I won´t." He gave her a soft kiss on the cheek. "I´ll see you in a week."

Blushing, Petunia nodded, and showed him out. Closing the door after him, she leaned against it and sighed.

"What are you sighing for?" Lily asked as she entered the front room.

"I think I´m in love," was Petunia´s reply. It was then that Lily realised that it might not have been the smart thing to do when she had let Sirius begin this little affair. Both her friend and her sister were in far deeper than she´d ever imagined. She also knew that no matter when this ended, it would end very badly.

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Three days later, the letter from Sirius arrived. She brought it outside to read under their shade tree, as she thought of it now.

"What are you reading?" Vernon´s voice interrupted her, just as she was beginning her letter.

Turning her head to look at him, she replied, "A letter from Sirius."

"Is that the boy who was visiting you earlier?"

"Yes. He´s on vacation right now, and promised he´d send me a letter. He´s coming home in a few days."

"Oh." Vernon sounded crestfallen at this revelation, as if he had been hoping for some other news. "Well, I should get to work. I´ll talk to you later."

"Bye," Petunia replied absently, her eyes turned back to her letter. Vernon knew then that she was in love with this Sirius fellow, and even though he himself loved her, he knew it would never happen that his love would be returned.

`Dear Petunia,´ the letter began, `I´m having a nice time in London today. Mother managed to stop by our old house, so I´ll have a surprise coming for you with me. I miss you like crazy, and can´t wait until I see you again. Is Lily giving you any more trouble? I hope not, but if she is, tell her that the deer will no longer be her friend. Random, I know, but I think it will give her pause. I´ll see you in four days. Love, Sirius.´

Petunia leaned back onto the soft green grass and watched the clouds drift by. She would never make it another four days.

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She was once more in her garden pulling weeds when a pair of hands covered her eyes. "Guess who?"

"Sirius! You´re home!" Petunia turned and gave him a hug.

He returned the embrace just as warmly, and asked, "Did you miss me as much as I missed you?"

"More."

"I brought you something," he said, and he bent down to pick up a small pot.

"What is it?"

"One of my mother´s prized roses. She had forgotten to take the bush with us when we moved here, so that´s why we were in London. Once it blossoms, you´ll see why she sets such store by them."

"Oh, Sirius, thank you!" she exclaimed and gave him a short kiss on the cheek. She looked at the plant after she realised that she´d just kissed a boy for the first time. "I-I´m going to go plant this right now. Help me find a spot?" she stammered, not meeting his eyes.

"Petunia, look at me." Sirius put a finger beneath her chin and gently raised her head until she was looking into his eyes. Slowly, his face descended, and his lips covered hers in a soft, searching kiss. Clumsily, she tried to return it with all the passion she felt. Finally, they parted, and she smiled, her chest rising and falling quickly due to her shorter breaths.

"Sirius, I hope you don´t think me too forward, but I think I love you."

"I love you too, Petunia, ever since I first saw you."

She grabbed his hand and led him into her garden. "Let´s plant the cutting here, by the other roses. Will you help me?"

"Of course." He grabbed a trowel, and dug a shallow hole for the rose bush baby. Lovingly, Petunia removed the cutting from the pot and placed it in the soil. Patting the earth down around the bush, she then grabbed her watering van and sprinkled it over the new planting. It almost seemed that before her eyes, it grew a few inches.

They spent the rest of the day talking about the future, and what could be, never noticing two pairs of eyes watching them, one pair full of regret, and the other pair concerned with how fast things were going.

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It seemed like over the next three weeks, every waking moment of Petunia´s was spent with Sirius. As their happiness grew, so to did the rose bush. One drizzly day, towards the end of July, the first rose blossomed. It was such a deep red that at first glance, one thought it was black. Sirius plucked the blossom and put it in Petunia´s hair.

"A rose for a rose," he said, before kissing her. Neither knew it was their last sweet moment together.

The next day, before Petunia woke up, Sirius went into her garden and enchanted one of the blossoms of his roses to hold a ring. The ring he placed there had been in the family for ages, used as a promise ring, a wedding band, an engagement ring. He had magically inscribed his and Petunia´s initials into the band, along with the phrase, `Many waters cannot quench love.´ He then waited for Petunia to get up.

Just before nine, he saw the owls arrive at the Evan´s house. He knew this was not a good omen. He threw a few pebbles at Lily´s window and woke her up. She got her letter, and demanded to know what he was doing at her house so early on a Saturday.

"Lily, I haven´t told her yet."

"What do you mean, you haven´t told her yet? You said you loved her, I heard you. Don´t you think you should have said something then?"

"I didn´t know how without hurting her. That´s the last thing I would ever want to do, hurt the one I love. Yet how can I tell her now? She´ll hate me!"

"Who will hate you, Sirius?"

He looked to his right, and saw the woman he loved. Deciding that honesty was the only way to go, he answered, "You will, my love."

"Don´t be silly! Why would I hate you?" she asked, not noticing Lily close her window discreetly.

"Because of this." He handed Petunia his letter, and she looked at the green ink on the front, and the wax seal of Hogwarts on the back.

"You´re one of them? No, you can´t be, you´re too normal. I love you, you can´t be," she whispered, her heart breaking.

"I meant to tell you sooner, but I didn´t want to hurt you. I love you too much to hurt you. Please believe me."

"Then my sister knew you all along? Was this some sort of game you were playing, with my heart as the stakes?"

"No, never! I fell in love with your pictures that Lily had at Hogwarts, she never knew my feelings for you, I swear!"

"I wish I could say I hate you, but I can´t. I love you so much; but now you´re something I can never be. Please, give my heart back whole to me. But how can I ask that of you when I would be holding back a piece of your heart to remember you by?"

"What do you mean? We can still be together."

"Damn you Sirius! Don´t you see - I´d never fit in your world, just as you´d never fit in mine. In the end, we´d hurt each other too much to be together. Damn you for ruining my happy future!" She slapped him across the face, and broke into fierce sobs, sinking to the damp grass.

"Petunia..." he began, laying a hand on the small of her back as he knelt down beside her.

Turning eyes full of sorrow on him, she said, "Just go! Go before I learn to hate you as I already hate my sister." He captured her mouth in one brief, final kiss, before rising and port-keying home.

"Petunia, are you all right?" came Vernon´s voice over the fence a few minutes later. Hastily, she wiped her eyes clear of the tears she´d shed and stood up.

"Yes, Vernon, I´m fine. Would you like to go to a movie tonight?"

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After that day, the garden had become her only refuge. She had tried to destroy his rose bush, but nothing killed it, so she let it grow wild. She refused to speak to her sister, and focused on forcing herself to be kind to normal Vernon. Yes, there was none of the passion there that she and Sirius had shared, but Vernon was completely normal. He hated Lily and all of her kind after Petunia had told him what had happened. Upon their marriage, Petunia´s parents moved the fence over so that her garden lay on her property. Eventually, the pain lessened, until it became a dull ache that kept her awake on rainy nights.

Then, one summer when Harry was young, he cut the enchanted rose off the bush, and out fell the ring Sirius had planned on giving Petunia all those summers ago. He ran it in to his aunt and was shocked at the look of pain that flitted across her face. Later, years later, he would remark to his friends that it was the only time he´d seen his aunt cry.