Longing for Lethe

Longing for Lethe

By: pandorabox82

Author's Note: Okay, so it's been like a long time since there was a new chapter of this story. I'm sorry, but a had really big writer's block. I swear it was the size of a mountain. Well, Mohamed made the mountain come to her, and she finally overcame it! (In the meantime, if you want to read what it took to overcome my writer's block, check out "You Always Hurt the Ones You Love" available on the Dark Arts or on ff.net.) I hope you all like this chapter, and are heartened by the fact that chapter 8 is already half-way written!! If you like pretty music, get 'When Love Speaks', and listen to track 30. It's what I was listening to when I wrote Severus and Hermione's exchange in this chapter. Also, be warned that two major subplots are beginning to take over this story. Yes, it is still a SS/HG-centric story, it's just that these stories are begging to be told (and have a separate sequel written) and aren't letting me get around writing them. Only two clues as to who I base my Professor Trelawney off of in this chapter, but in the next one, there is another major clue as to who she is in Chapter 8. It's not a blatant clue, but if you add the pieces up, it should be fairly easy to know. Also I have a new group for this story, called, appropriately, Longing for Lethe. You can find it at: http://groups.yahoo.com/group/LongingforLethe Anywho, enough rambling from me...on to the story!

A few seconds later, Poppy came into her room. "He's here. Should I send him in?"

"Yes, please. I have to face him." Poppy left the room, and Hermione heard her speaking to Severus in a tone too low to make out what was being said. Moments later, Severus came in, looking rather uncomfortable. He opened his mouth as if to speak, but Hermione was faster. "Before you say anything, listen to me. Shakespeare had some great things to say about mercy and forgiveness. This is from "The Merchant of Venice", and is what I consider to be the finest speech of any of his female characters. 'The quality of mercy is not strained;/It droppeth as the gentle rain from heaven/Upon the place beneath. It is twice blest;/It blesseth him that gives and him that takes./'Tis mightiest in the mightiest; it becomes/The thronèd monarch better than his crown./His scepter shows the force of temporal power,/The attribute to awe and majesty,/Wherein doth sit the dread and fear of kings;/But mercy is above this sceptered sway;/It is enthronèd in the hearts of kings,/It is an attribute to God himself,/And earthly power doth then show likest God's/When mercy seasons justice. Therefore, Jew,/Thou justice be thy plea, consider this,/That in the course of justice, none of us/Should see salvation: we do pray for mercy;/And that same prayer should teach us all to render/The deeds of mercy. I have spoke thus much/To mitigate the justice of thy plea'." By the time she'd finished her speech, silent tears were running down her face. "I know I spoke out of turn yesterday, it seems to be a habit of mine. It's just that I've heard the rumors of just how cruel she was towards you, and I wanted to know if it was true, if someone could really be that heartless."

"Unfortunately, Miss Granger, people can be that heartless, and this world is a cruel place. The sooner one realises that, the safer from harm they are. Love is merely an illusion."

"But it doesn't have to be that way. Love is a spectacular, wonderful feeling. And maybe Lily was just in your life so that you would know what true love really looks like when you met her."

"You truly believe in love?"

"Yes, it is what sustains us when things seem their darkest. It's what saved Harry as a baby, and what Ginny's found with Neville. And I'm certain Sybill loves you as a friend."

"But she could never love me the way that she loved Gil. He's still the one she pines for."

"There may be a reason for that. I finished the Potions essay. Would you read it, please, before I officially hand it in? I believe that there may be some places that need work." She handed him her essay, and then pulled out a dog-eared copy of 'Henry V'. As she read the familiar story, she paused to look at him every now and again. 'This could become very comfortable. He grading papers, while I read before the fire.' Once, he caught her peeking at him, and he held her gaze for a moment longer than was necessary.

Finally, he'd finished looking over her essay. Handing it back to her, he regarded her inquisitive face for a few moments, before speaking. "As soon as you are back in class, I shall expect that you teach this to your peers. It is very well thought out, and I agree with you that it could easily be taught to your class."

"Are you sure you want me to lead your class, Sir?"

"Of course, it will be good practise for you." Looking at his pocket watch, he realised that it had gotten quite late. "I shall retire now, Miss Granger. Have pleasant dreams of whomever it is you love."

"The same for you, Sir. Good evening." He walked out of her room and she pulled her cat plushie close to her as she settled down to sleep, a smile on her lips.

@à à à @à à à

The next day, Harry and Ron came trooping in, carrying a book and a large, wrapped box. Setting the box on the edge of Hermione's bed, Ron then sat down, while Harry presented the book to her. "Sorry we forgot about your book, Hermione. It just slipped our minds."

"Thanks for telling Ginny, though. Now, put the book away, and open this." He presented Hermione with the box, which was quite heavy. Setting it carefully on her lap, she methodically took the paper off, not once tearing it. She slit the tape that held it closed with her nail and watched as the sides of the box fell away, revealing a large amount of candy - mostly Chocolate Frogs- and what appeared to be a snow globe.

"Thanks, what is it?"

"Trelawney showed us how to make it," Ron said. "It shows who your true love is when you shake it. Or, at least, it's supposed to. Never did manage to get the ruddy thing to work right. It always showed me with Mum, which is just plain wrong. But it's pretty to look at, and I thought you'd like it."

"It is quite beautiful, thank you. But why would Trelawney teach your class something like this?"

"Oh, she didn't. Harry and I were talking about making you something while we were in class, and er, well, she kind of caught us, and said that for detention, we could make that. I still don't know what went wrong. I repeated the spell Trelawney told me word for word. Go ahead and try it, 'Mione."

"But, Ron, if you said that it doesn't work, why bother?"

"Go on, it's fun. Who knows, maybe you'll be paired with Millicent!"

"Fine, Ron, but don't be surprised if it fails." Picking up the globe, she gave it a vigorous shake and watched the snow cover the two figures inside. When the swirls had settled down, Hermione gave a short gasp - they were going to see the truth! She wasn't ready for them to know! Harry'd go ballistic, and Ron, who knew how Ron would react.

"'Mione, move. Harry and I want to see!" Ron took the globe out of her slack hands and set it on the table. Looking inside, both Harry and Ron began to snigger.

"I don't find it very funny!" Hermione defensively stated.

"But you and Lockhart, 'Mione? That's too rich!" Harry gasped through his giggles.

She gave a weak laugh, relieved they hadn't seen the truth. But why had the globe covered it up to her friends' eyes? She decided to ask Sybill later, when she came by.

"Harry, Ron, could one of you turn this in to Professor Vector on your way to Herbology? I finished it ages ago, but forgot to have someone hand it in for me." She pulled out two scrolls, each filled with complicated numerical patterns.

"This looks harder than the normal things you're assigned for Arithmancy."

"They were. Luckily, Sybill's still quite good at the subject. She gave me a lot of help with the assignment."

"So what Ginny told us is true, then? Professor Trelawney and you are friends?"

"Well, when you talk to the woman, she can be quite nice. And you must admit, that she's been a good deal better since she got on this love kick."

"Yeah, she has, but really, 'Mione, it's Trelawney you're talking about."

"Look, Ron, she's helped me out, a lot, recently, and I can't help but be grateful to her. She's a warm, kind person, once you try to get to know her. And it might do you good to speak better of her. She knows a lot more than she lets on. Gods, you're acting as if I'd told you I was dating Snape!"

The looks her friends gave her were sufficient to make her mind up about telling them the truth any time soon. Harry looked disgusted, while Ron wore his 'You've-Got-To-Be-Kidding' look.

"'Mione, you're just teasing us, right?"

"And what if I weren't? What if that globe had revealed me paired to a Slytherin and was proved true? Would you be supportive of me? Would you accept our relationship - even if it were with someone like Goyle or Zabini?" The anger and passion in her voice stunned them.

"What are you talking about? You'd never go out with a Slytherin! You're too much like my mother, sticking to her own, proper kind. I mean, you've only dated Ron and Seamus, never looked twice at someone from that house."

"Harry, I'd suggest finding out a little more about your 'sainted' mother before you label me as her. What you find might surprise you." A heavy bitterness had crept into Hermione's voice. "Now, leave, please. You're upsetting me, and Madam Pomfrey doesn't like it when I get upset. Thank you for taking the scrolls to Professor Vector, I do appreciate that." As if summoned by Hermione's words, Madam Pomfrey appeared in the doorway. At Hermione's curt nod, she addressed the boys.

"I'm afraid I must ask you to leave. I could hear you in my office, and Hermione does not need this right now. She's trying to recover, and if you're going to keep shouting at her, you aren't helping. When she's ready to see you again, I'll be sure to let you know,"

"That's not fair! We're her friends!"

"Yes, well, friends don't yell at friends who are injured. Remember that for the next time you come here." Poppy herded the protesting boys to the door and showed them out into the hallway, shutting the door with a ring of finality.

Ron turned to Harry, and gave him an incredulous look. "Can you believe that she kicked us out of the Infirmary? The nerve of that woman! I mean, we've only been friends with Hermione for seven years almost, Merlin forbid we get upset with her over something. Come on, let's get to Herbology."

"You go on without me, Ron, I'm going to the library. I'll drop off the scrolls to Vector on my way there."

"Why are you going there? Don't you think that Professor Sprout will miss us?"

"We can miss - wait a second, you're going to class, I'm not, and no I don't think she'll miss me. If she does, I'll tell her that I had important research to do, and got so immersed in it that I lost track of time."

"But why go to the library? What's there that's so important?"

"Annuals."

"Didn't they stop making those..."

"In 1980, yes, but I'm going to be looking at ones prior to that."

"So, shall we get a move on, then?" Harry smiled at Ron, and the two headed off towards the library. As they passed their Common Room, they saw Professor Vector just ahead of them.

"Professor Vector!" Harry called, and the slight witch paused, and then turned to face them.

"May I help you?"

"Yes, Hermione finished that work you gave her, and she asked us to give it to you." Harry nudged Ron, who proffered the two scrolls. Professor Vector summoned them to her, thanked them, and then continued on her way.

"So, what annuals are we looking for, Harry?" Ron asked as they walked into the library a few minutes later.

"1972 through 1978. Those are the years that my parents were in school." Together, they went over to where Madam Pince kept the periodicals and pulled down the seven volumes Harry needed. Ron opened the 1972 one, and began to giggle. "What is it, Ron?"

"Sirius! He sure didn't change much, did he?" Ron pointed out where he was in the first years, looking totally innocent, while giving the ever classic picture prank of rabbit ears to the kid in front of him.

"Look, here's my mum!" Harry pointed to a girl with red pigtails down to her waist. She smiled shyly and waved a little to them. Sitting next to her was someone who looked vaguely familiar. Harry ran down the list of students in her row, looking for 'Evans', and found her ¾ of the way down the list. The next name down was 'Snape, Severus'.

"Harry, is that Professor Snape?"

"Yes, it is. But he's smiling, Ron! How weird is that?"

"Very. Look, there's your dad."

"Where?"

"In the back row, standing next to Lupin." Harry stared for a long time at the boy who looked so much like him. Turning the page, they found an all too easy to recognise Lockhart, and a confident looking Mademoiselle Pomfrey. Towards the back of the book, they found pictures of various events from the year. At one of the Quidditch matches, Harry spotted it.

"I told you! Snape did have a thing for my mother, look!" He pointed to a spot in the picture, and sure enough, every so often Severus snuck a glance at Lily.

"Just 'cause he's looking at her doesn't prove anything, Harry. Let's move on," Ron replied, opening the next volume. He looked over the first years, trying to find someone familiar. In the front row, he found her. She wouldn't meet his gaze, and kept checking to see if he was watching her. It looked as if she was crying, and her whole demeanor projected loneliness. Her long curly hair though was what struck Ron. Looking over the list of names, he ran across one or two his father had mentioned in passing, finally reaching the end of her row. "Harry, look, it's Trelawney!"

"What?" Harry asked, looking up from his perusal of the 1978 volume.

"Harry, look at this picture! It's Trelawney!"

Harry gazed at the girl, who was so quick to hide. "She looks so sad! I wonder why?"

"I don't know, but it kind of makes you feel differently about her, doesn't it?" Harry nodded and went back to his volume, as Ron continued to thumb through his. At the pictures of the Quidditch season, he found a much-changed Trelawney. She was anxiously motioning to the Seeker for Hufflepuff, while her classmates around her rolled their eyes. Looking across the field, Ron saw Snape try to stifle a laugh. Intrigued, Ron shut that book and pulled over to him the 1976 volume. Skipping over the class and house pictures, he anxiously scanned the recreational photos. Under the "Making Great Strides" page, he found the picture he knew Harry would be loathe to see.

"Have you found something interesting, Ron?"

Hurriedly, he covered the offending picture and quickly said, "No, why would you think that, Harry?"

"Because of the way you just answered me, after covering up that picture. What is it, Ron, my mother get a pimple, and you don't want to show me?"

"Something like that."

"Let me see the picture then, Ron. I'm not afraid of a pimple."

"No, Harry. You really don't want to see this picture."

"It will be fine, Ron. Trust me."

"Fine Harry, but don't say I didn't warn you." He handed Harry the book, and closed his eyes, bracing himself for the explosion he knew was going to happen.

"Oh dear Mother of God! Are you saying that my mum and Snape were a couple?!?"