And Now for Something Else!

Silly idea based on this being Fashion Week, and that Spain has banned too-thin models.

Rita Skeeter is still, ah, on probation, so I, Madam Rosmerta, will be your hostess at today's grand event here at our show, "And Now For Something Else!"

The Daily Prophet is sponsoring a fashion show as a benefit for St Mungo's Hospital for Magical Maladies and Injuries. Featured at the show are Madam Malkin's Robes for All Occasions, Twillfit and Tatting's, and Fashions by Cilla. Modeling at the show are most of the adult women from the Harry Potter books and because St. Mungo's does not discriminate against the non-magical (Muggles and Squibs), the show is open to the general public. Backstage is where the action is, and where we find -

Petunia Dursley, desperately feeding her face as her Body Mass Index (BMI) is too low. (Notice the house-elf handing her a plate of high-cal food.)

Narcissa Malfoy. Say what you will about her personality, but she's a stunner on the catwalk. Classic.

Oh, dear, looks like she's been up-staged by newcomer Fleur Delacour.

Bella Lestrange, is uh, wearing her prison garb proudly... (Yeah, right. Hope she had it cleaned first. Ouch! Hey! Wands away!)

Minerva McGonagall. Wool, tartan, lace, warm colors. Maybe a little bit of San Diego solid colors and simple style for her "Muggle"-wear. Then again, maybe not.

Pomona Sprout, as Mother Earth, wearing loose flowy robes of nubby fabrics, colored in earth tones and tie-dye pastels, accented with shells and bits of bone. Nothing says "organic" more than raw wool.

Nymphadora Tonks. As she's a shape-shifter, she is copying the boggart Snape's "in drag" outfit: Augusta Longbottoms' hat, robes and purse - it's utterly "Riddikulus!" Oh, wait, that is Augusta Longbottom, wearing her own clothes. Never mind.

Dolores Umbridge. Umm, really don't want to see her.... Business wear, ruined by that stupid cardigan sweater, childish hair bow, and old shoes. She doesn't want to try anything new, and she's trying to take over the show. Call the fashion police! Oops, wait. Casual wear, varied and better looking. Last year's colors, and she still has the bow and the shoes, and she's still trying to take over! Make the call!

Molly Weasley. Nice to see you. Catering the event? Lovely.

Poppy Pomfrey gets out of the uniform and lets her hair down. Retro and fashionable, she brings energy to the show. Swing it, baby!

Rolanda Hooch. Cutting edge. This woman can do leather!

We (don't) regret to inform you that Wilhemina Grubby-Plank's invitation was lost in the mail.

And here's sweet Arabella Figg, wearing Wal-Mart fashions. Not the stuff that was shown in the NY fashion show, but the stuff people actually buy. Oh dear, something is wrong with her feet: she's still wearing carpet slippers.

Marjorie Dursley - how did she get here? Hounds-tooth design in all her clothing. Turn off all the lights, hand her a flashlight and dub it "evening wear".

Sibyll Trelawney. We're having a little bit of trouble seeing this one....

And that's it for now. I am Madam Rosmerta, reminding you to tune in again for our next showing of, "And Now for Something Else!"

Ta ta for now!