The Only Protectus

A/N: Once more this chapter is dedicated with much thanks to Mandi, who gave a brief proof read before this went out (my first semi-not-really-at-all-but-good beta). This is the R version. If you would like the NC-17 version and are of age, drop me a mail at ophelias_diary@hotmail.com. And remember, always...always review!

Safety's Eclipse

Severus, once inside the staffroom, moved with a brisk abruptness, favouring his arm. The smell of burning skin had already started to permeate the room. Siana watched him move straight to Dumbledore. A strange feeling nestled in her gut, she was painfully aware that her robes were blood-speckled, but then, she wasn't the only casualty.

Lupin was standing near the fireplace reading a bulletin, a neat bandage was around his head, and a small patch of crimson had neatly started spreading from a wound above his ear. There was another thin but jagged cut running along his cheek. His eyes were sunken and furtive. Next to him in a stiff, wooden chair was Professor McGonagall talking to a strange old woman who was stroking a banded kneazle in her hands. Hagrid talked quietly with a red-headed man in the corner. Siana vaguely remembered him as Arthur Weasley. Daedalus Diggle was staring distractedly out of a window, and Mad Eye Moody was glaring directly ahead, his magical eye looking at Dumbledore. Or maybe looking at Severus.

Eventually Severus stopped talking to Albus, and the wizened Headmaster stepped forward.

'We have been caught unawares by the change in proceedings, but not entirely unprepared. We must assume that the human wardens at Azkaban are not the only target the Death Eaters have come to control, and we must now treat everyone - particularly Aurors and Ministry members - as possible contaminants.'

'Constant vigilance.' Growled Moody. 'I've been saying it for years.' He frowned and then both his eyes caught Siana's. He winked. Siana smiled uncertainly. When she caught Severus glowering at her, she lowered her head. I can't help it that I like Aurors, I can't. And I can't help it that you've probably never had one nice experience with them. Dumbledore continued talking.

'We are working on an inoculation and cure but until then do not consume anything, especially fluids, when offered to you. If anyone does offer you food or drink report it back to us. Now, before we deploy to our own tasks, I need to explain something about what I perceive to be Voldemort's latest weapon. You do not need to stay for this, Severus. The staffroom has been primed for apparation. Good luck.'

Severus nodded awkwardly, withdrew his wand and then disapparated. There was an uncomfortable silence as the Order of the Phoenix looked at the space he had just vacated. Lupin crumpled the bulletin in his hand.

'I hope everyone can do a good Patronus.' His voice it seemed, had died. 'We'll need boggarts, Hagrid, for practice.'

'Aint seen any for weeks, neither's Filch.'

Dumbledore sighed.

'They're an integral part to the potion which is controlling the Azkaban wardens. They've been harvested. You should all know now, the Insidious potion was pioneered by Frederick and Auror Kirk Basilica. It was originally created to be an unbreakable form of the Forbidden Curse; Imperio. It was thought that captured Death Eaters that evaded conviction would be given the potion in disguised form and sent back to Voldemort or his fellow Death Eaters. From there the Death Eater would be made an unassuming spy, and would never possess the strength to break out of the potion's clutches. To date there is no known cure.'

Dumbledore subtly glanced Siana's direction.

'Kirk's research and development was permitted due to his success rate with the capture and conviction of the Death Eaters. Sadly the Ministry, not for the first time, were betrayed unknowingly by one Frederick Basilica.

'From what we can gather, Frederick was enlisted by Macnair to the cause of Voldemort during his short capture by Aurors. He offered to pay Macnair one quarter of the Basilica-Ministry Archive Funds to murder all Basilicans bar one. Siana.'

'I clearly remember Macnair wanting to kill me, Dumbledore. Many times,' Siana said and coughed as her voice caught on remembered fear. Wetness moved in her throat and she swallowed it down. She noticed Lupin watching her with a sad expression on his face, but when she caught his eye, he looked away. Dumbledore sighed.

'Macnair on the night of the murder seems to have lost control, and attempted to murder you. Frederick, upon finding out, refused to pay him any of his fee. After that, Macnair made it his personal agenda to eliminate all Basilicas. Frederick might have threatened you with death himself, might even have started to attempt it, but he never intended to kill you.

'The name Basilica, came from the time when Basilisks could be tamed by the families that lived within the Serpent Lands. Basilicans prided themselves on several qualities, their ability to be talent specific, their wont to physically record history, and their yellow eyes which allowed them to look directly at the gaze of a Basilisk and so remain unaffected.'

There was some sudden murmuring. It was Moody who spoke.

'Most of 'em have violet eyes, Albus.'

'It was a defect, the violet, especially within the females. For many many years children with violet eyes were instantly killed, but one year all Basilican children were born with violet or grey eyes and that marked the end of yellow-eyed Basilicans. The Basilicans had no choice but to allow the children to live, so as to keep the bloodline alive.

'I am not sure of the entire story behind this, as there are few documents pertaining to how it came about, but over many years it became evident that female Basilicans in particular were prone to mental disturbances. If they possessed violet eyes then there was a chance that they were to harbour within them a form of energy which became known as Death Magic.

'It is triggered by traumatic and life threatening events, and it is a form of transformation in itself. Most importantly, it manifests in many ways, the first stage involves spells by the caster turning awry, usually fatal. The second stage I am seems to involve deaths of others on a large scale, almost whomever comes into contact with the carrier of the magic. The third stage is death of the carrier. This is one of the latest weapons of Voldemort's. If Frederick does get Siana in his possession he will activate the death magic, and she will be an expendable source when assassinating others.'

Silence.

Siana cleared her throat. Her arms were cold, her stomach hot with something.

'Wait. What the fuck do you mean? You know about it, and yet you never told me about it? Come on, you knew I had shit-purple eyes, you knew that I'd had bad reactions when using my wand. You were just going to let that knowledge ride without ever telling me?'

Dumbledore sat himself down on an overstuffed armchair and held her eyes for a minute, his own sparkled, his mouth was a thin line.

'I am not perfect, Miss Basilica. I assumed the reason your spells did not work was something much more mundane then death magic. I assumed it was, in short, stress.'

Yeah. Tell me about it, I'm dealing with a fair amount of it at the moment.

'So I'm going to die?'

'Only if you are activated.'

'The mist-wraith said I was dying.'

The woman with the kneazle, who had been regarding her sombrely, suddenly cleared her throat.

'Never trust the words of a mist-wraith my dear. They have no reason to tell the truth, and no reason to lie, so the chances are whatever you were told has about half and half of both. I've only met one once, when I was on the brink. Do you remember that Diggle?'

Dedalus Diggle turned around, his grin split his face, his bright green robes among the brightest in the room.

'We thought we'd lost you then Arabella.'

'Oh poppycock! Lose me? I knew exactly where I was.' She laughed a dry laugh to herself and Dumbledore also chuckled. It was Lupin who spoke next, he had not smiled.

'I'm sorry, but there are matters of pressing urgency here. I understand that it's nice to see the lighter side of life at such grave times, but one of us has gone missing, another has been injured, and Dementors will soon be storming the muggle and wizarding worlds. You will remember of course that they do not care who they kill? Just because muggles rarely see them does not mean they do not sense their presence. And if I remember rightly, there are almost no trained fighters for Dementors anymore, are there Arthur?'

'A few. Not many,' Arthur said and then shook his head. 'Moody, if he felt like it, could probably retrain a group. The condition of most Aurors at the moment isn't incredibly great, they understandably have their hands full.'

'Could we recruit some of the students, Albus?' Professor Sprout said and Albus frowned.

'It is a great responsibility to expect of youngsters who are for the most part, children. I would suggest we leave them to their higher spirits. The children who are best suited to the work we do, are already shouldering their share of responsibility.'

'Who's getting Sirius back?' Lupin said suddenly and Dumbledore removed his glasses and started to clean them on a section of robe.

'Until Severus can tell us if the Death Eaters even have him...'

'Of course they do! Who else would it be? He hates the man anyway! How do we know he's not involved in it? He'd do anything to hurt Black, Albus. I know he makes a good agent, but that means nothing in light of his hatred.'

'Lupin, you are distraught.'

He opened his mouth to retort then explosively sighed, both his hands went up to run through his hair and he winced as he encountered bandage, then turned away. He glared briefly at nothing in particular and then ground his teeth.

'I'm going to Hogsmeade. Contact me if you need me.'

He stormed out, robes flapping. Dumbledore did nothing to stop him.

'Siana is to be protected at all costs, and she is not under any circumstances to leave Hogwarts. She needs no chaperone, I rather think the fear of certain outcomes should,' he turned to her, 'you leave Hogwarts, would be enough to keep you here. You may be excused Miss Basilica, if you have nothing else to add.'

'Um. I do actually,' Siana said softly. 'Frederick's someone you have to be careful of. He was close to Dad, and he knows the tricks of the Aurors, because Dad pretty much knew the ins and outs of most of his colleagues. That's it though, just be careful. Um. I'll just go then, okay?' She awkwardly turned and froze when she heard the rumble of Moody begin.

'Siana?'

She turned, faced him. Both his eyes were focussed on her, his gnarled, scarred, pitted face was unfathomable.

'None of us ever got to say anything about your father's untimely death, on behalf of all the Aurors, I would like to extend our belated condolences. It's late in coming, but we didn't know at first if you were alive at all. Your father was a good Auror, and a loss to us all.'

Siana nodded in acknowledgement and then felt something flash inside her. Anger? It was white and brilliant. Her hands clenched into fists by her sides.

'I don't care if the potion was meant to be used for good, I don't reckon Dad and Frederick ever had the best intentions. The bastard helped to make the Insidious. I hope he's rotting in fucking Hades, Moody. I really do.' She spat and then slowly, a little painfully, walked out of the staffroom.

*

Okay. So a mist-wraith doesn't tell the truth and doesn't lie. Or whatever. So I could be dying, and I might not be dying. And what did happen to Frederick when I was born? And what were we before we were Basilicas? Were we anything? Or was that a lie too? And me? Why me? Why am I close to them? Fuck, I can't do anything else. All I know which has been confirmed so far is that I'm a carrier of something which once activated kills people, and then eventually kills me.

Fuck yeah, talk about death running in the family. I'm really shouldering my fair share of inheritance here.

And Frederick would be so proud.

Or jealous.

Oh my god. By fucking Artemis. I kissed him, and he kissed me back. He really did. That wasn't my imagination. None of it was. All of that happened. I killed his sister and he's still not...he doesn't seem to be wanting me dead. But I still, I don't know, how can I help? Maybe I shouldn't be alive at all. I mean, if I'm such a danger, why are they keeping me alive? Wouldn't I be better off dead? No one could use me then.

But then maybe I'm dying. I mean, bleeding from weird places at the moment. That's pretty freaky.

I don't know if I can do this. It's just been getting worse since...since Macnair. Since Athena, Nathan, little Camille. Since before. It's this one, huge, tragic circle of, well, tragedy. I don't think everyone goes through shit like this, and what, it's supposed to make you stronger? Well I didn't get that piece of information. Stronger my ass.

I'm not allowed a wand. I'm not allowed to leave Hogwarts.

Oh fuck. Who's going to look after Svelte?

Siana took a sudden right turn and then started down the stairs.

*

Svelte had been hiding under the bed whimpering when she had stormed into the unprotected chambers of Severus. As soon as she closed the half open door behind her, there was a shimmering of light and she knew that automatic wards had fallen. She groaned as her muscles protested when she knelt down on her knees and crouched down to look under the bed.

Svelte shimmied forward on her belly, attached her mouth around Siana's splayed little finger, bit down lightly with her sharp little teeth and began to suck. Siana sighed.

'I don't want to drag you out attached to my finger. Just come out okay? We'll do cuddles. I think I have an appointment with you to do cuddles. That sound cool?'

Svelte released the finger after a moment, cocked her head and then continued to waddle out from under the bed. She clambered into Siana's lap and chuffed happily, then butted her head against the folds of her robe. Siana placed her head against the creature's shoulder and did the best hug she could considering she was many times the size of the tiny lupine form.

'Glomp,' she said softly and Svelte squeaked, wriggled with delight. Siana let her go and smiled weakly. 'You know you love it.' She stared down out at her robes and decided to go and get a fresh pair from her own quarters. The house elves would have cleaned her other ones now.

'You stay here little lady, I'll be back with glomps in tow. Don't you worry about that.'

*

And there he was.

'Shouldn't you be in the hospital wing?'

Bandages on the side of his head, pale, drawn, green eyes glinting, the scar uncomfortably red. Nail marks where he'd tried to scratch it off. And there he was on the corner of her bed staring at the roaring fireplace. He'd obviously stoked it again with his wand, which she noticed was resting by his side. He looked haunted, tormented, young, old.

'You're an Animagus,' he said softly. 'Lupin told me. A good one.'

'Yes.' Siana knelt in front of him and stared up at his face. Her eyes were drawn to his scar, she couldn't look away. He was staring at her now as well. Squinting at her eyes.

'They're not purple anymore.'

'Not as much. No. Why do you want to know if I'm an Animagus?'

'Find Sirius for me,' he said then. Not a request, but a command. His voice was hardened. 'I don't know what they're going to do to him, but it's not going to be good.'

Her breath coming faster. She stood and he stood also, grabbing his wand.

'What animals can you change into?' he added quickly and she looked at him. Feeling oddly cornered.

'Bat. Fox. Cat.'

'Lupin said they couldn't be broken.'

'No. Not by other wizards so far, not even Dumbledore.'

'Siana please. No one else will go. No one else can as safe as you could.'

'No, Harry.'

She walked away from him fast. Towards Severus' rooms. He followed after her, his footsteps pattering, a little scuff where he limped. She turned on him once in the Potion Master's office.

'Ask someone else.'

'Please. I'd ask Lupin, but he's been hurt, and he might. He might lose control. He does that, Sirius is his last friend that he's got really. Aside from Dumbledore.'

And me. Siana thought, a trifle defensively.

'No! It's not safe.'

'Miss Basilica, you don't understand. They could be killing him right now, and he's all...' Harry froze, eyes widened. Siana suspected she knew what he was about to say. He's all I've got left. Not entirely true, but true enough in respect to family. 'It wouldn't take very long. You wouldn't get caught.'

'I can't leave. Harry, I can't leave. If they find me, I'll be responsible for the deaths of innocent people okay? Okay? I can't.' Not anymore.

'Why would they find you?' Harry argued. 'Why? You said yourself, you can't break your Animagus, that's really rare isn't it? There's no reason why they'd suspect you.'

'Because they know the forms I take.'

'Miss Basilica, if you could just find him and tell me where he is, and I'll do the rest. I've done stuff like this before. Please. I wouldn't ask, but I don't know anyone else who could get in as safely as you could.'

'Don't you understand?!' Siana was practically screaming now. 'I'm not safe! No one is safe around me if I get in the hands of the Death Eaters.'

'You're just going to let someone die? He's my friend, he's the closest thing I have to a father. He's the only family I have left, Miss Basilica. And he was, he was weird when he went too. I don't know, he's been so intense lately, he might do something and hurt himself.'

'And you? You're not doing something stupid which will lead to people getting hurt?'

'Miss Basilica, please. '

Siana felt something wrench in her gut.

'Miss Basilica, I know I'm not playing fair, but imagine it was the last thing you had left, close to family. I know you lost your family too. You know what it's like.'

She growled, kicked at a piece of fallen glass on the floor where Severus had dropped his beaker. Harry stared around the room curiously and then turned to watch her again, his bright eyes glinting, his mouth set in a grim line.

'No. Harry. No. It's just not safe enough. I'm sorry. If anyone is able to look after this whole situation, it's Severus.'

Harry scoffed and then ran a hand through his very rumpled hair.

'He hates the both of us, and he wouldn't care if Sirius got killed. And he wouldn't tell me about what's happening either. Professor Snape is only nice to people that he wants to be nice to, and I don't know if you've noticed Miss Basilica, but I'm not high up on his list. Please go and find him. I can even tell you where to start looking. It's just outside of Hogsmeade, they're really close.'

'No, Harry. That's final. No. ' Siana folded her arms and then squeezed her eyes shut very suddenly, she hated the whole situation. Even now her resolve was wavering. 'You should go now. I'm sorry, but I just...I can't. Not yet.'

Harry stood a few more seconds and then turned and walked away without another word. Siana slumped onto the bed and then let her head hit the sandalwood scented quilt. Svelte crawled over to her and lay down beside her head, immediately making strange whimpering noises of ecstatic pleasure.

*

Two hours later she knew that she'd been beaten. By guilt, by the need to do something, by the knowledge that Frederick was probably killing someone, Severus was performing his duty, everyone had something to do and she? Nothing. Nothing at all bar a simple request from a hurt boy.

But if I'm caught.

And a reckless voice strangled her doubt.

Nonsense. No one can break your Animagus. You know where to go. Outside of Hogsmeade means they can only be in one place, the woods behind the mountains. Anywhere else is too dangerous, too exposed. It's not like you're being taken there by a Death Eater, and your navigation as Animagus is first class. You could even hide from Athena on a good day. All you have to do is go, find him, come back, tell Harry. Pretend you never left in the first place.

'Shit.' She whispered as her fingers found her way nervously through Svelte's fur. 'Shit shit shit.'

And then she changed. Instant. Sure. Airborne. She found a ventilation duct and flew through that, then wisely, with a vast grasp of the workings of echolocation, she found her way out of Hogwarts.

*

That she hadn't eaten in a very long time, and that she hadn't eaten much became painfully obvious when she was flying through what she assumed to be Hogsmeade. Her small stomach seemed to grind against her, and the shoulders that beat her leathery wings burnt.

Food. Fucking oath. Food.

So she detoured, swooped, fluttered, zoomed, hunted. She buzzed creatures, figured out their size and then caught them with an ease that surprised her. It was easy to forget she was eating insects, the bat taste registered them as pleasant. All in all, it was like eating chicken, or perhaps very salty, crunchy pork. Her stomach started to fill, her wings still burnt but did not falter, and eventually she rose again.

Her squeaks located owls before they located her.

Then she was gliding, free falling, bouncing on zephyrs across mountains. The percussion of the beeps hurt her ears and she decreased their volume. Simultaneously she slightly altered her inner ear drum so that she could pick up other sounds. She heard a hawk shriek far away, she heard wind blowing through leaves. She was closer to the woods now.

She altered her eyesight so that it was better. Dim shapes became filled with colour. Grey and brown scale for the mountains, a darkness in the sky suggesting sunset.

And then woods, a clearing, coming up faster than she thought. Harry was right. They're close. They're dangerously close. There must be a reason for it. Ah, there they are. Found you.

She zoomed a wide outer circle and landed on a branch in a tree that was so heavily leafed she could not see the meeting before her, though flashes of bright light filled her with screaming sun candescence. There was screams, laughter, some of it high pitched, some of it low. Groans. And now and then a shout or two, conversation that was high spirits or caution.

Can't see a fucking thing.

Change. Cat. She backed up into the shadows and felt grateful that her black colouring meant that she could not be seen. She couldn't hear Sirius, and could only make out the back robes of some of the Death Eaters.

More laughter, broken screams, Siana as a cat raised the fur on her back and only managed to stop the hiss that scraped along the back of her throat. The voices were manic joy.

Her prehensile head moved from side to side, and with an athletic leap that stretched her scars she scaled two branches, slunk belly down along to a connecting tree, intertwined. She smelt wood, leaves, water, moss, creatures that could be eaten. A bird in a hollow, some voles in a hole nearby. Carefully she pushed the thoughts out of her head, leapt to another branch silently, and with her cat eyes she discerned the scene before her.

A woman, bleeding and naked, marks indicating rape, scratches on her thighs and rending tears in her breasts. She was unconscious, possibly dead. Siana could not tell. Two Death Eaters bowed over her, one stuck fingers into the wounds and then placed them through the hole in the mask they were wearing. A man, a thing in silver robes was standing with his back turned, talking to three men. One glistening blond. Malfoy. The other two sharing the same black hair. One head curly and healthy, the other flat and oily. Those two weren't wearing masks. Siana knew immediately. Severus and Frederick.

Crept closer. Looking sidelong out of caution, trying to spot Sirius. He wasn't here. That much was becoming clear.

Closer to Voldemort and the three men. Her heart palpitating. Claws deliberately retracted, soft across the bark, her tail held for balance. Close enough to see their expressions now.

What?

Severus had his arm around Frederick's shoulders, and Frederick had an arm around Severus' waist. Both were smiling. Frederick was talking to Voldemort and Severus was nodding sombrely. He looked flushed and exultant. His wand was in his hand.

'We have actioned everything according to plan thus far. How is your servant, Wormtail faring?'

'His business is none of your own, Frederick.'

'Yes, Lord.'

'How goes your relationships with the mist-wraith?'

'Tenuous, Lord.' Siana's ears strained forward at this. Severus too, she noticed, seemed tuned to every word he was saying. 'Now that she has entered stage one of the transformation, they want her to themselves. They claim no side in this war that is rightfully yours to triumph over, Lord. They will enter her dreams as they will, and do as they will. It is no matter though,' he laughed then, 'I've cut a deal. She will be delivered.'

Not on my ass, mate.

'You shall be handsomely rewarded, Frederick.'

'Yes, Lord.' Frederick positively beamed. Voldemort made a small gesture with his hands towards Lucius and Severus, and they bowed politely and left. Walked closer to her, further into the woods side by side. Siana followed them in silence, creeping along branches, her balance sure.

'I knew you had it in you, Severus. Welcome back. It wasn't so bad now was it?' Lucius purred and Severus said something quietly, so far in the back of his throat Siana could not pick it up.

'True. True. You still have your touch there, I'd forgotten how truly skilled you were. There was a time when we used to come to you for advice. Whether it was the Grimoire spells, or how to hit a person when they´re down. And you were without a doubt, maybe not as vicious, but definitely colder than most of us. Voldemort had high hopes for you.'

'I'd rather be a bystander, Lucius. Better he have low hopes for me, harder to disappoint. There are only so many times one can experience Cruciatus before it gets tired.' He laughed at his own joke. Lucius also chuckled and then clapped him on the back awkwardly. They walked further away, Siana followed ahead until she was facing them. Looking at their expressions. Severus looked amused and Lucius tired.

'Well, Severus. Stay on the right side, and I'll share my own profits with you.'

Siana drifted out of the conversation when she heard a scraping sound nearby. Two glinting eyes pinned her from a nearby hollow and she half choked on another hiss. She scrambled backwards and lost her footing on the smooth bark. Her claws came out, hooked into the wood but she fell one branch. The leaves crunched as she fell through them. She froze when she landed on the branch underneath.

They'd already turned. Wands out.

'What was that?' Lucius.

'I don't know.' Severus walked forward and Siana heard her heart throb all the way to the tip of her tail when he caught her shining eyes. His own opened a fraction in recognition, and Siana instantaneously changed. Bat. Bat. Bat.

'It's nothing. A raven moving back into its nest.' Severus was saying behind her, and then the voices dropped away as she powered her way out of the scene.

Too close for fucking comfort.

*

She'd raced her way back into his rooms, shut the door behind her. Leant against it breathing hard. Her arms burnt and she let them rest, dead weights at her side.

'Artemis. Artemis. Artemis.' She gasped hard. Her hand passed over her forehead. Then her hands wrapped around her side.

And then the door bashed into her back and she staggered forwards. Turned. He'd swooped in, more bat-like than she could possibly have been when she actually had been a bat. His eyes were hooded, his mouth thin. The door slammed hard behind her. Svelte was scarce.

'How dare you.'

Siana froze. This was not the reception she had been expecting. Severus was hulking over her, and he was standing quite some distance away. She still had no idea how he managed to do that.

'You were expressly told not to leave the castle, and everyone else was expressly told not to let you leave. Further more, Dumbledore thought you mature enough to leave you without a chaperone. What does it take to remind you that this is a war, and you could be the end of all of the wizarding world!?!'

He stepped forward rapidly and Siana whimpered, stumbled backwards.

'You could have lost your form. You could have flashbacked under the influence of the Insidious and plopped down right in front of their noses. And if you had, you-'

'Well Mr. Overdramatic. I was trying to find Sirius!'

His lip curled.

'You imbecilic cretin. What do you think I was doing when I was there? Merely dancing around with the rest of them? Just because I can still torture up there with the best of them doesn't mean I wasn't keeping an eye out.'

Torture?

'You wouldn't have told Harry.'

'Ah.' He laughed then, it was a harsh, crackling sound which made Siana swallow down a whimper. 'Of course not. But I would have told Dumbledore, and did your flawed mind not take into account that Albus and Harry have a rather close relationship? HE WOULD HAVE TOLD HIM!'

'Don't yell at me! I'm getting enough of that in my head.'

'Whatever voices prance around in your head aren't exactly doing a good job of putting you in your place.' His wand was in his hands, pointing at her. 'I'll put you in your place, so help me. If you had been caught. You were there in plain sight!'

'No I wasn't!' Siana said. Severus half shouted and half laughed, cackled even then. Seemed truly insane.

'If you had been caught do you know what we would have done to you?' He breathed in hard. 'You have no idea what I've already done tonight. You would not have survived had I done the same to you. Is that what you want? To be used and then destroyed? One would think so, Miss Basilica. With the way you behave.'

Siana frowned.

'What exactly have you done tonight?'

Severus paused then, taken aback. His eyes widened a little and then he looked at his adjacent potions making room.

'The girl...did you see the girl?' he said softly, meeting her eyes. Smiling a little. Siana frowned.

'Yes.'

'Frederick raped her first...I got, caught up in it all. Forgot what it was like. Power really. I...it had been a long long time.'

'Frederick always was good at that.' Siana whispered, unable to think of anything else to say. Severus' eyes widened, he looked at her with his mouth open.

'Frederick raped you?'

'It's the quickest way to break someone's spirit, from my experience anyway. Besides, it's not like I could do much to fight back under the Insidious.'

His sallow face collected a green tinge and he stared at her closely.

'Siana...'

'Wait a minute.' Siana frowned. 'How could you even attempt to express anything like sympathy to me when you got excited by Frederick doing it to someone else tonight?!'

'I had no choice. You've never had to spend a lot of time with a whole group of them before. There's an undercurrent, an exhiliration, a power rush that you can't get anywhere else. Why do you think there's fresh meat provided? Why? Because the power rush one gets while they're tormenting another is unsurpassable by anything else. Even sex. It's a craving. And I, so help me god, crave it . Regardless of any amount of remorse I experience afterwards.'

Siana was mute. A sick expression had slithered onto her face and nested there.

'Would you do the same to me?'

'In that situation I rather think I would,' Severus said calmly, and then his voice rose loudly, blistered into the room. 'Don't you understand? You're an OBJECT once you're in that circle, you're NOTHING MORE THAN AN OBJECT!!! It doesn't matter what you feel or think . Why do you think I call them fresh meat? We don't know their names, we don't know a lot of the time if they're even muggles or wizards.'

'How could you?'

'You roaring hypocrite! You nearly got us all killed!! It's bad enough that I have orders to deliver you when you're doing a fine job of delivering yourself. What is it? Missed the attentions of Frederick did you? Been a long time since you last screwed each other on the archives desk?'

Siana leapt for him, the growl dying in her throat as one of her hands found his throat and the other fisted and bounced against the side of his head. He grunted and then coughed awkwardly as her knuckles ground into his windpipe. His hands were fumbling by his sides and he heaved to throw her off, but only succeeded in enraging her further. Finally he got out his wand from his pockets.

'Bitch, ' he mouthed. 'Crucio.'

Siana propelled backwards, her leg spasmodically catching his chest as the convulsions started. Blinding pain seared across her mind, through her body. Flamed up her back. And as soon as she opened her mouth to scream the pain receded rapidly. Something bubbled up and out of her throat. Blood. She slumped backwards on the slate and groaned. Then whimpered when she heard him swear and then move up close to her.

'Siana.'

'Get away from me.'

'Siana, you-'

'You want to do it too, Severus?' she said, opening her eyes weakly and glaring at him. Already pulling herself into a curled sitting position, hands wrapped around her roiling stomach. 'Want to do to me what Frederick did?'

There was a stunned silence.

'I got caught up in it. I didn't realise I had gotten that immersed in it.' He sounded, underneath the calm of his voice, vaguely surprised.

'Really? Because I can.'

Severus looked at her and something flickered over his face. She noticed that there were scratches on his neck where she'd clawed him, one of them was quite deep. He was moving forward, and then he awkwardly took one of the hands clutching at her stomach and enfolded it within his.

'Sometimes I wonder why I allow myself to continue to exist.'

Siana, desperate to offer consolation and desperate for more contact, crawled towards him, slid her arms around his thin robed sides and slumped against him.

'Because when it comes to potions, you're the shit.' She laughed brokenly as his hands lightly, uncertainly came to rest upon her frail shoulder blades. She felt tears of pain leak out of her eyes and knew they'd be red. 'Oh we're so fucked up. You loving the torture, and me risking people's lives. All in this perverted sense of justice.'

She trembled when his hand trailed down her back. It rested on the base of her spine, his other moved up to the back of her head and tangled in the hair there. It was brittle and softly crinkled.

'I'm going to have to tell Dumbledore you need a chaperone you miserable, pathetic woman.' Her own fingers were trailing along the knobs of his spine. 'I'll need to tell Dumbledore about my own lack of control. I was irresponsible taking you to my quarters in the first place, and not straight to him.'

'You're a thin bastard, aren't you?' Siana moulded her hands about his ribs.

'I have been sick,' he said slowly and then draped his arms more completely around her. She got the sense that they were both too exhausted, both too unable to care that there were no more barriers left. Every time she attempted to start bricking up her defences, something happened, and she found herself vulnerable in front of him. She had the feeling it extended the same way for him, judging by the way he sighed against her.

He continued his rhythmic stroking and as Siana began to relax and feel more safe than she had in months, his hand slipped to under her stomach. Traced circles. Something warm in her responded.

'What are you doing?'

'Well if you can't tell, I'd have to say you're not the most observant of people. Ah, but then we knew that.' Siana shudder-breathed as his fingers dexterously mapped her through the robes she was wearing.

She looked up.

'Are you sure about this?'

The hand in her hair came around to stroke smears of blood off her cheeks. His eyes were black, glittering and entirely unfathomable.

'War has started, Dementors are loose, and what did I say about hyper-arousal in life threatening situations? I'm as sure about this as I am that the unlikely Harry Potter will most likely save the day.'

'Well. As you're sure...I'll take my chances with that.'

And she arched up and sealed her lips to his.

She expected him to pull away. She expected him to soften the kiss, or maybe murmur something. She even expected him to react with disgust like he had before. She certainly hadn't expected his lips to tear back at hers, the way he crashed her back onto the bed, where the breath was knocked out her nostrils and exploded against his face. He'd pulled back then, his hair and eyes glittered, his skin pale. His lips quirked.

'This is when we stop.'

'Then stop me,' she whispered, her hands rising to find the curls of his robes, the many folds. She was surprised at the cut, unlike most, it had a side hook system. It was a pure blood favourite, and rare now. For a moment she fumbled and then found one. Undid one. Her eyes concentrated on her fingers, and she could feel where his hands braced on either side of her, where his chemical, spicy breath confronted her. She unclasped the second, found the third. Started to shake when he didn't stop her.

And then she was trembling harder as he leant down to her neck and took the skin there between his lips. She gasped when his teeth bit, and then choked a little when he pressed hard enough to elicit pain. One of her hands dropped as the sensation stunned her, and as his tongue soothed the teeth marks she knew would be there, her own hand found its way into his robe and scraped at his ribs, testing the strength there. He hissed, breath cold against the saliva.

His hips dropped and her eyes widened. Evidence. Proof. He wanted her, he was responding to this. It made it real, it made it so real that for a moment she froze and just stared at her own arm where it disappeared into his robe.

He raised his head.

'Shy?'

'Just wanting to know that you're not going to pull out halfway or anything. You know, general thoughts. Don't want you to fuck this up you know.' She was brazen out of fear, and she could tell from the gleam in his eyes that he knew it.

'Ah.' His hand slid into her robe, her stomach jerked, sensitive nerve endings burnt as his hand moved higher. And then she gasped as he paused, the anticlimax worse.

'Severus.'

'If I fuck up, I'm sure you'll vociferously tell me so, but until that point in time. Do shut up.'

And then his fingers stole her breath, and his lips replaced it with his own.

*

Much later, Siana lay on her back staring at the ceiling, still out of breath. Still recovering. A thin layer of sweat covered her body and the quilt had covered most of it in an attempt to stay warm. Severus was pulling on Svelte's ears, who seemed to find the action both delightful and irritating, she was alternatively snapping at his fingers and licking them. Silence drifted between them, and then it was Severus who coughed slightly.

'Combustive,' he said; Siana smiled.

'Yeah. I'd go with that. I guess you should really get to Dumbledore, shouldn't you?'

'Not yet. I've forgotten what endorphins feel like,' he said dryly and Siana, not having heard of the word before, merely shrugged and turned onto her side, facing him. His eyes met hers and his face lost all traces of comfort, he frowned.

'So Frederick really did...sexually assault you?'

'He really really did. It's okay though, I mean obviously I'm all fucked up about it, but it's not like. I don't know. I'm not going to kill myself over it, it just means I'm terrified of him every time I see him. He's a terrifying kind of person. As you probably know by now. Though you two were getting chummy.'

'It's part of the job description.'

Siana yawned. 'It's nothing to worry about, what happened to me, I mean. I'm so tired anyway, I don't really want to talk about it.'

His hands slid around her sides and she let her head find its way to his shoulder. The bone dug into her skull and she ignored it. Severus held her until she fell asleep, they had nothing more to say.

*

No. No. No. NO!

He was sitting up watching her, his hands in his lap, his face carefully blank. Siana whimpered a little in the back of her throat and the placed her head carefully in her hands. Grit her teeth.

'Fucking hell.'

'Is it what I think it is?'

'Flashbacks? Yes. Horrible memories? Yes. A subject that we glossed over before? Fuck I don't want your pity, Severus. Don't you dare.' She looked up, her throat was sore. She didn't know why.

'I pitied you before. I see no reason to retract it now. I do not pity you more, however.'

'You've been watching me all this time?'

'No. Actually Dumbledore was here briefly, I summoned him about an hour ago. You were sleeping quite peacefully then. He already knew that you had left, apparently he's keeping very close tabs on you. That and Potter felt the burden of guilt and unweighted himself on the Headmaster. You are expressly forbidden to leave the dungeons until Albus himself requests you, or I accompany you. If for some reason I have to leave grounds, you are to stay in Albus' quarters.' He arched an eyebrow. 'So it's serious.'

'What if I want to go outside?'

'I will take you outside. I enjoy the Forbidden Forest, and I'm sure in the form of Protectus, you also would. How are you feeling? Physically and otherwise?'

'I don't feel like talking.'

He made a sound in his throat that could have been laugh or acknowledgement.

'Neither do I.'

She started when she saw him coming towards her, and then let her eyes drift shut cautiously when two thin arms curved around her waist and drew her forwards so that she was resting her head on his chest. There, the smell of sandalwood became the muskiness of sweat and the sharpness of chemicals.

'Didn't pick you for contact.'

'There's a lot many do not know about me. There is much I would prefer people didn't know,' Severus said softly and Siana felt like purring when he started stroking her brittle hair. Her own hands curled up around him, and she felt dampness on his skin, remnants of sweat. Her own skin pressed against his, stuck to it. Moisture to moisture.

Together, entwined. Siana's mind drifted, leaf like on a breeze, and warmth closed her. In her mouth she could taste the salt of the ocean where she had bitten the inside of her cheek so hard when he showed her exactly how dexterous a potion master's hands could be. She did not understand completely how they had ended up like this, she risking the safety of the wizarding world, and he enjoying watching the rape of a girl so much that he was thrilled into torture. She spasmodically clutched closer at him, exhaling hard.

In the same night, sex and Cruciatus. By the same man. So very fucked up.

As if sensing her disquiet, the hand in her hair came down to stroke the contours of her ear and cheek. She sighed into that touch, the callouses on the palm. And in her mouth the taste of copper. Her toes ached from over-curling, in fact she ached all over. She knew that he also was physically exhausted. And somewhere Harry Potter was probably desperate to know about his godfather, Dumbledore would be worrying about the safety of Hogwarts.

And she, in the arms of someone who she both hated, and craved.

There was a sharp knock on the door. Followed by two scrapes, and another sharp knock.

'Shit.' Siana moved slowly backwards as Severus sat upright, his eyes widening.

'Lupin?'

'It's urgent. Open the door.' His voice hoarse, Siana sat there wondering if she had enough time to grab her robes and put them on. Severus, after flickering a briefly alarmed look towards his own robes at the foot of the bed, looked at the door again.

'Come in, Remus.' Evidently not.

'Why the hell does your bed have to be so close to your main fucking entrance?!' Siana hissed as Severus waved his wand and the charms fell. As the door handle began to turn Severus made a small sound in his throat.

'Because I don't make a habit of rutting, Miss Basilica.'

'Oh great,' she whispered, 'we're back to formalities? And so soon? Why am I-'

Lupin stood in the doorway, staring at the both of them with half lidded eyes, seemingly too exhausted to be too surprised. His nostrils flared, Siana knew that the wolf in him would know what the pheromones, the musk, the sweat meant. Then again she knew that just about anyone who walked in this room would have known what had just happened.

'I just thought you'd want to know,' he began, and then held a piece of paper in the air. There was a profound sadness in his eyes suddenly, a strain to his face that made him look as world-weary as Dumbledore sometimes could. 'There's a new bulletin just out. They're saying that, that Sirius Black escaped from Azkaban when the Dementors did. He was seen earlier today in Diagon Alley. In the Leaky Cauldron. He killed. There were no survivors. Twenty people died.

'It's the Insidious potion, someone in Hogwarts, or someone who he trusts has given it to him.'

Siana made a muffled noise, her eyes teared. Severus was quiet as Siana swallowed something that could have been a sob.

'Oh, Moony. '

Lupin continued in a tone that was dead with shock.

'Severus, Dumbledore wants to know if you've got the antidote. All the Order of the Phoenix has been sequestered in his office, he's put himself under the watch of Hermione Granger, because he too wants to take the antidote before he takes any further actions.

He turned his face towards Siana.

'Dumbledore told me you left the grounds today.'

'At Harry's request,' Siana said and Lupin shrugged as he turned and started to pull the door shut behind him.

'Don't do it again.'