Midnight

Midnight Stroll

Wearing my Birthday Suit

It was a normal day in the life of a Hogwarts student. James Potter and Sirius Black were up to their usual tricks and landed themselves in detention again.

"James Potter, I don't believe you!" Lily was saying as Remus entered the Gryffindor common room one evening after dinner.

"What? It was only a few dung bombs," muttered James, blushing slightly.

"I don't care! You don't stuff dung bombs down the pants of a fellow student!" she continued.

"You do if that 'fellow student' is a greasy haired git named Snape," said Sirius as he plopped onto the couch next to James.

"Oh shut up! What James did was bad enough. But then you had to go and make things worse!" said Lily, her face turning red with anger (James still thought she was as beautiful as ever).

"Remus! Glad you could join us," said Sirius, ignoring Lily.

"When's your detention?" he asked, even though he knew it was due to start soon. He took a seat across from James and Sirius.

"The look on Snape's face when that jar of Stinksap exploded on his head..." said Sirius dreamily.

"And the look on everyone else's face when those dung bombs went off..." added James with a laugh.

"I don't know why I even bother-" said Lily sternly as she stood up.

"Because you love me?" asked James hopefully.

"Remus, do you think you can at least try and talk some sense into these two?" she continued, ignoring James.

"I could try," Remus replied, "but I doubt it'll work," he added after she had disappeared up the stairs to the girls dormitory.

James and Sirius snickered. They sat there joking about Snape until Remus looked down at his watch. "Shouldn't your detentions have started ten minutes ago?"

"Huh? Oh, yeah..." said James distractedly.

"Yeah, it's about time we went down there...good thing we're not on time," said Sirius.

The two got up and left Remus sitting there alone. "We'd probably give McGonagall a heart attack if we were to show up early," joked Sirius as they walked through the corridors toward McGonagall's office.

"Are you kidding me? She'd have a heart attack if we were on time," laughed James.

"Boys, you're late. I expected you 20 minutes ago," said a stern, harsh voice at the end of the hall.

"Professor McGonagall! Fancy seeing you here," said James with his most charming smile as they approached her.

"Mr. Potter, Mr. Black, your tardiness on top of what you've already done is not acceptable," she said sternly.

"Rarely is," muttered Sirius.

She glared at him, showing she heard. "My office, now!"

James and Sirius exchanged looks as they followed her into her office.

"So, what'll it be?" asked Sirius as he sat in a chair in front of McGonagall's desk.

"Writing lines?" asked James as he sat next to Sirius.

"Cleaning your desk?" said Sirius, eyeing McGonagall's desk nervously. It was covered in stacks of parchment.

"Helping you grade those essays we did on transfiguring feather pillows into concrete blocks?" said James.

"That's not what those essays were about!" said Professor McGonagall slightly taken aback.

"Oops," James shrugged.

"Or we could-"

"That's enough," she said, glaring at them from behind a rather tall stack of papers.

"You're to go to my classroom and clean up the mess you made earlier. There is stinksap on quite a few desks and others have inappropriate messages scrawled all over them...especially the seats you two sit in," she said accusingly.

"No problem, Professor," said James as he stood up and pulled out his wand.

"We'll be done before you know it," said Sirius as he did the same.

"You didn't let me finish," said McGonagall with a smile on her thin, tightly pursed lips. They stopped from turning to leave and looked at her. "You'll be cleaning without your wands."

She held out her hand expectantly and they mumbled and groaned as they (reluctantly) handed their wands over to her.

"Mr. Filch, the caretaker has left a set of buckets and scrub brushes in the classroom," she said to their backs as they grumbled their way out of her office.

After 20 minutes of scrubbing, James and Sirius were bored. Rather, they were bored from the minute they stepped into the room.

"I can't believe...without magic...could be done by now..." muttered Sirius as he scrubbed at a particularly stubborn spot on a desk.

"We need to think of something to help pass the time," said James thoughtfully. "Because obviously, I don't think thoughts of Lily would work for you."

"Stupid spot...come out!" Sirius continued to mutter.

"Remember that time last year...over Christmas Holiday when we played a magical round of Truth or Dare?" said James in hopes of preventing Sirius from becoming too moody.

"Yeah, you dared Wormtail to eat a dung bomb," laughed Sirius.

"Good thing Lil went home for the holidays," said James.

"I can hear her now," said Sirius. He pitched his voice to try and sound like their fellow Gryffindor, "Poor Peter...could have done him serious harm...dung bombs, why dung bombs? Blah, blah, blah,"

"I think that's why we did it when she wasn't there," laughed James.

"Oooh, remember what I dared you to do?" said Sirius, looking at James with a sly smile.

"Of course I remember! I could barely ride my broom for a month!" said James with a shudder while Sirius laughed. They had both stopped scrubbing the desks by now. "I never got to dare you to do anything..."

"Go ahead...dare me to do something then," said Sirius.

James sat on the nearest desk then jumped up almost immediately, stinksap still covered the surface. "Urg...hope that comes out," said James as he looked over his shoulder to try and see his rear end.

"When you're done admiring your backside..." laughed Sirius.

James stuck his tongue out at Sirius. "Hmm... I dare you to... go out and about for a late night stroll in your Birthday Suit-"

"What?!"

"Easy, Padfoot. Let me finish. You can wear my invisibility cloak if you want," said James. "It'll need to be cleaned afterwards..." he muttered with a shrug.

"You want me to...to run around the school in my nuddy-pants?" asked Sirius disbelieving.

"Yup," James nodded.

"You're crazy,"

"You're chicken!" accused James.

"I am not!" said Sirius sounding offended

"Are too!"

"Am not!"

"Are too!"

"Am not!

"You're not going to do it...you'll chicken out," James continued to tease.

"Dogs don't go chicken...I don't know about stags though..."

"Shut up, Padfoot...in fact I think we should start calling you Chicken Little from now on.

"You've lost your mind," muttered Sirius.

James looked around the room, "No, don't think I have..."

Sirius let out a prolonged sigh, "Where and when?"

James smiled. "Soon, anytime this week...not expecting a full moon for a while. How about...tonight?"

"Your hour is up," said Professor McGonagall, in a stern voice from the doorway. The two jumped and whirled to face her. "Have you two done anything?"

"Actually-"

"Let me rephrase that. Have you two done anything besides talk?" she said as she inspected the nearest desk.

"Yeah, James managed to clear off that desk," said Sirius, pointing to the desk he had sat on earlier. "Turn around and show her, James."

"What? Is there something on my back?" James joked as he turned in circles trying to see the back of his robes.

McGonagall pursed her lips and pulled out her wand. With a swift flick most of the stink sap disappeared, all that remained was on the back of James's robes. She handed back their wands and sent them out into the hall.

"Here, mate, she gave me your wand," said James once the door was closed behind them.

"I don't see why she made us clean the room if she was just going to do it herself in the end," grumbled Sirius.

"But then I wouldn't have come up with that lovely dare," said James, trying to sound innocent.

"Let me just get this straight. You want me to wander around the halls naked except for your invisibility cloak?" said Sirius.

"Yeah, that sounds right. C'mon, you're not goin' to chicken out on me are you, Chicken Little?" taunted James.

"I... well..."

"I'll bet you a month's worth of chocolate frogs that you won't do it." said James.

"Who said I wasn't going to do it, Prongs?" said Sirius as they entered the almost empty common room and sat next to Remus in the corner.

"Do what?" asked Remus half-heartedly without looking up from his book.

Sirius sighed, "Prongs has just dared me to go on a little late night stroll."

"What's the catch?" said Remus as he set his book down with a sigh.

"He'll be," James leaned closer and whispered, "in the nude," into Remus' ear.

"Are you two crazy?!" said Remus, trying to keep his voice down so as not to draw attention to their corner.

"So we've been told," said James with a satisfied smile as he sat back in his chair.

"Unless you believe some of those wild rumors going around that state we're normal human beings," said Sirius proudly.

"Padfoot, you agreed to this?" asked Remus.

"Relax, Moony,"

"But what if you get caught?" he continued.

"Always the voice of reason..." muttered James.

"Someone has to be," Remus snapped, "otherwise you two would have destroyed the school by now."

"Don't worry, he won't get caught..." said James.

"I'll be using Prongs' invisibility cloak," said Sirius, "I can't get caught," he smiled proudly.

"You're going to have to decontaminate it afterwards, you know that right?" Remus asked James warily.

"Hey!"

"Of course! We all use it, don't we?" said James, ignoring Sirius's outburst.

"Well, I'm going to bed," said Sirius with a wink and a very loud (fake) yawn. "I just can't keep my eyes open," he said, yawning again, "or something like that," he muttered.

"You know, I'm feeling a bit tired myself," said James, "I'll get you the cloak," he whispered to Sirius.

Once in the dormitory Sirius disappeared into bed and emerged as Padfoot.

"You're in the buff, right?" James asked warily. He went over to Sirius's bed and pulled back the curtains. All his clothes were there, including underwear. James turned and draped the cloak over the shaggy black dog. "Sirius?"

"What?"

"Just making sure, you know that sneaking around as a dog isn't going to work. You might lose my cloak," said James.

"Damn, hadn't thought of that..." muttered Sirius from under the cloak. He rearranged it so his head showed. "Anything you want me to get while I'm out?" he asked as if he was simply running an errand to Zonko's, the local joke shop.

"Yeah...remember that stack of essays on McGonagall's desk?" asked James. Sirius's disembodied head nodded, "Why don't you snatch Snivelly's essay and, uh...make a few changes," he said.

"Got it," said Sirius, a sly smile on his face.

"I'll go downstairs and let you out...Remus is probably the only one left in the common room anyway," James said as they left the dorm room and headed down the staircase. "I'll wait up for an hour and let you back in. Any later than that and I might go to bed. Chicken Little, your head," James reminded him as they neared the bottom of the steps. Sirius's head disappeared, but James still felt the presence of his greatest friend (especially since he punched James on the arm for calling him "Chicken Little" again).

"I thought you were going to bed?" Remus asked when James emerged into the common room (still rubbing his arm).

James blushed as Lily looked up at him expectantly. "Evening, James. Enjoy your detention?" she asked sarcastically.

"It was wonderful. In fact I enjoyed it so much I'm going back down there for some more quality time with good ole' McGonagall," said James with a sarcastic smile. He went over to the portrait and held it open, letting Sirius slip out ahead of him.

"James, it's after hours," said Remus half-heartedly when Lily glared at him.

"I'll only be a minute... I left a book in McGonagall's classroom," said James.

"A book?! You?" said Lily.

"A Quidditch book, no doubt," said Remus helpfully.

"Right you are, Remus...I'll be back in ten, give or take," said James before stepping through the portrait hole.

When the portrait was firmly shut behind James, Sirius's head reappeared laughing.

"Ha, now you're shut out of the common room while Lily is in there all alone with our dear Moony, and you have to go back in there with a book," laughed Sirius.

"Shut up, Master Nude," muttered James.

"And here I thought I was being nice," said Sirius slyly as a book in his disembodied hand appeared through a small opening in the cloak.

"Whoa, keep it covered!" said James, turning his head to look away. Sirius looked down and James snatched the book from his hand. "I'm not going to think about where this has been," he added with a playful smile.

"I snatched it off a table for you before leaving."

"Nice thinking, Padfoot...tread lightly dear friend...see you in an hour," James said as he turned toward the portrait.

"You got the map?" Sirius asked impatiently.

"No, I thought you had it," James said seriously.

"Where would I have put it, oh Clever One?" said Sirius sarcastically.

James eyed where the rest of Sirius's body should have been. "Uh...good point."

"Redheads make you stupid," mumbled Sirius.

"What?"

"Nothing. Just...just forget the map. I'll be under the cloak, nobody can see me anyway. I'll just go without it," said Sirius with what James supposed was a shrug.

"Ick, Padfoot, that's just...ick!"

"Without the map, not without the cloak you sick perv!" said Sirius as he punched James in the arm.

"Stop doing that! I can't see you to defend myself!" said James as he rubbed his arm. Sirius brought the cloak up over his head and disappeared completely. "Here, at least I remembered your wand," James said as he pulled it out of an inner pocket of his robes.

"Thanks," muttered Sirius as the wand disappeared from James hand.

"See ya later, Chicken Little," James called down the hall.

"Shut up, Prongs! I'm doing your stupid dare, aren't I?" Sirius responded. James waited until he heard the padding of Sirius's bare feet disappear at the end of the hall.

"I suppose you want back in?" The Fat Lady asked him when James turned to face her.

"Merlin's Beard," said James. The portrait swung open and James clambered through.

"Did you get your book?" asked Lily skeptically. James nodded and held up the book. He was pleased to see that for once Lily looked pleased. 'I've got to remember to thank Padfoot again...' James thought when Lily smiled at him.

"Well, I'm going to bed then...don't stay up too late you two," said Lily as she got up from her chair and headed towards the stairs leading to the girls' dormitory.

"Can I borrow a spare bit of parchment?" Lily heard James say before she slipped into the girls' dorm and closed the door.

"You sent Sirius out into the halls without the map?!" asked Remus, looking slightly horrified.

"Had to...you have it," said James as he plopped into the chair Lily had just vacated.

"I do?"

"Yeah, I slipped it in your bag before pranking Snape. A folded bit of parchment wouldn't look as suspicious in your bag as it would in mine if they were searched," said James.

"How thoughtful," Remus muttered sarcastically. He searched through his bag and moments later pulled out a folded, blank sheet of parchment and handed it to James.

"I solemnly swear that I'm up to no good," said James with the tip of his wand touching the parchment. "Help me find Padfoot," he said as he unfolded the parchment.

"There he is..." Remus pointed. "Prongs, why is he in McGonagall's office?" asked Remus, looking suspiciously at James.

James smiled his most charming smile, "I don't know, Moony, beats me what he's doing there."

"I don't want to know," muttered Remus as he shook his head and returned his attention to the book in his lap.

James was watching the dot labeled 'Sirius Black' move around McGonagall's office when Peter came down yawning from the boys' dormitory.

"There you guys are - wait! Where's Padfoot?" asked Peter sleepily.

"James has sent him out on a little dare," Remus muttered, temporarily taking his eyes off the book he was reading.

Peter moved to stand behind James and looked over his shoulder down at the map. "Is he wearing your invisibility cloak?"

"Yeah, why?" muttered James distractedly. He was watching the dot labeled 'Severus Snape' pace around the Slytherin Common room.

"Because Professor McGonagall is heading his way," said Peter as he pointed to McGonagall's dot. Remus shut his book and set it aside and all three watched anxiously as McGonagall entered her office.

"Where on earth is she hiding those essays?" Sirius asked himself out loud. He had the invisibility cloak wrapped around his waist like a towel as he rummaged through a stack of papers on the desk. "Well there's Moony's... an extra six inches long," he muttered, "typical," he added with a snort.

He was just about to start on the second stack of papers when his elbow knocked an inkwell off the desk. He jumped back as it smashed to the cold stone floor and spattered the edge of the desk. He cleaned up the spill with a flick of his wand and continued searching through the papers.

He was making so much noise ruffling the papers that he didn't hear the approaching footsteps. He was moving out from behind the desk when the cloak got caught on the arm of the chair and fell to the floor.

"Damn," muttered Sirius as he quickly reached for the cloak. Just then McGonagall entered her office, wand held out in front of her. He tried to cover himself with the cloak but it was too late. Professor McGonagall had seen him, all of him...

"Sirius Black!" McGonagall nearly shouted in shock.

Sirius inched behind her desk to hide his lower half and kicked the invisibility cloak under her desk. "P-p-professor?!" Sirius stuttered. "Uh...where am I?" he said thinking fast. 'Maybe if I play dumb...' he thought.

"You're in my office. Explain yourself!"

"I...I must have been sleepwalking..." he muttered shaking his head.

"I don't believe you for one second, Black. Potter put you up to this, didn't he?" said McGonagall strictly.

"No, Professor... I swear... when we got back to the common room after our detention we went upstairs to bed..." said Sirius, starting to sound nervous. "Remus saw us. He was reading in the common room when we came back, he'll tell you that too..."

"That doesn't explain why you're unclad in my office!" McGonagall glowered.

"Sometimes I uh...sometimes I sleep in the nude..." muttered Sirius, his face turning red. McGonagall glared at him again. "I woke up when I knocked the inkwell off the desk. I was just about to go through the papers to try and figure out where I was... I'm thinking my subconscious mind was feeling guilty for not doing a good job of cleaning your classroom earlier... either that or dinner didn't agree with me..."

McGonagall conjured a robe with her wand and tossed it to him. "Here, cover up, we're going to have a little chat with Potter and Lupin."

Sirius nodded and McGonagall turned to leave the office. Sirius quickly bent down and grabbed the invisibility cloak while her back was turned. He wrapped it around his waist and slipped the robe on over his head.

"Coming, Black?" asked McGonagall as she turned.

"Yeah, I was just adjusting the robe," he muttered.

Back in the common room Moony, Wormtail and Prongs watched the map as McGonagall led Sirius from her office.

"Where are they going?" asked Peter.

"Probably Dumbledore's office," muttered Remus.

"No, Dumbledore's office is in the other direction," said James.

"You would know..." said Remus sarcastically.

"They're coming towards Gryffindor Tower!" exclaimed Peter.

"Quick, we've got to get to bed... we've been sleeping the entire time," said James. "Mischief managed," he muttered to the map.

The three ran upstairs and jumped into their beds and pretended to be asleep. Several minutes later a stream of light fell upon the dark room as the door opened.

"Potter, Lupin, wake up and come downstairs," came McGonagall's stern voice. "Oh, and make sure you have some clothes on."

James and Remus got out of bed, James yawning loudly. "What's up McGonagall?" asked James.

"Is something wrong Professor?" asked Remus as they followed her down the spiral staircase (glaring at James as they went).

"Sit," she said to the boys. They sat on either side of Sirius on the couch as McGonagall paced in front of them. "James, what did you two do when you got back from your detentions?"

"When we got back Remus was reading in the common room and Sirius and I went upstairs to bed. He immediately went to bed but I had left a book on Quidditch in your classroom so I went out to get it," said James, any hints of a joke gone from his voice.

"Did you go alone?"

"Yeah, Remus and Lily were sitting right over there," said James as he pointed to the table they had been sitting at earlier. Sirius let out a low moan and James was sure he knew why. He had just brought Lily into the situation.

"Is this true, Remus?" asked McGonagall.

"Yes Professor, when James came back Lily went to bed and James and I stayed up a bit talking. We went to bed shortly after," said Remus.

"Was Sirius still in bed?" asked McGonagall.

"I believe so, yes. He had the curtains drawn, but I thought I heard some heavy breathing... I think he was snoring," said Remus.

"Probably because he was sleeping in the nude again," joked James, and on cue Sirius blushed. "Oh no... you were! Were you sleepwalking again too? 'Cause you know that happened last time you slept clothes less..."

"Yes he was sleepwalking, or so he claims..." said McGonagall, glaring at James.

"It's happened before, except we usually catch him before he leaves the common room," said Remus.

McGonagall seemed to believe him because she let out a long, drawn out sigh. "If I catch you in my office unauthorized again I'll take you to see the Headmaster. Is that understood?" she said as she glared at Sirius.

Sirius nodded his head and she turned and left the common room. As soon as the portrait snapped shut behind her the three ran upstairs to the boys' dorm.

"I can't believe she caught you, Padfoot!" said Peter as soon as the others entered the room.

"I can't believe I got away with it," said Sirius as he collapsed on his bed.

"Wait, where's the cloak?! You didn't leave it behind did you?!" asked James. Sirius stood up and lifted up the robe McGonagall had given him. "No! Put it away!" said James, looking away and shielding his eyes.

"Prongs," said Remus as he nudged him in the side. "Just look," he rolled his eyes. James looked over at Sirius and saw that his legs were invisible.

"Glad you didn't forget it, mate," said James.

"How did she catch you?" asked Peter.

"The cloak got caught and fell off, just when she opened the door..." said Sirius. He disappeared behind the curtains on his bed.

"How did she not notice the cloak?" asked Remus.

"I kicked it under her desk," Sirius's voice said from behind the curtains. He emerged from his bed in his pajamas and sat on the edge of his bed. "Luckily she didn't notice it. I wrapped it around my waist when her back was turned and put the robe she gave me on over it."

"So, you're not in trouble?" asked Peter admiringly.

"I guess not," said Sirius with a shrug. "Oh, here's your cloak back." Sirius tossed the invisibility cloak towards James. It nearly covered up his face and James quickly shook it off.

"Eww, Padfoot!" James exclaimed as Remus used his wand to levitate the cloak off of him.

"Might I suggest burning it?" said Remus.

"Hey!"

"Well, you were under there naked!" said Remus.

"Don't worry, Moony...I'll have it sanitized and safe for use before the next full moon," said James.

"I don't know how you do it..." said Peter, shaking his head. "If I ever tried something like that, I'd be expelled immediately!"

"That's because it takes wit and charm to pull something like that off," said Sirius, smiling proudly.

"Don't be so full of yourself, Padfoot," muttered Remus.

"Yeah, you wouldn't have gotten out of anything if we hadn't helped," said James. Sirius muttered something and rolled on his back onto his bed. "What's that Chicken Little?" asked James, who immediately had to duck because Sirius had thrown a pillow at him.

"I said, you owe me a month's worth of Chocolate Frogs," said Sirius. "Accio Pillow," muttered Sirius and his pillow came flying toward him, hitting him in the head.

"Goodnight, Marauders," said James as he moved to his bed and pulled the curtains shut around him.

"G'night," they all responded from their beds.