Harry Potter and the Shadows of the Watchgate

-----------------------------------------------------
-*~| CHAPTER 8 - Padfoot Returned |~*-
-----------------------------------------------------

Harry slowly and steadily turned around, daring his eyes not to see Sirius. This can't be true... I'm going nuts... This must be some deception... he kept on thinking.

Blood came rushing to his head, pounding its way through his ears. Goosebumps broke out on the back of his neck. At that moment, Harry could feel every particle of his body on alert in apprehension... This was no dream or deception because he remembered opening the diary....

Sirius was sitting on a rocking chair and Harry couldn't believe what he was seeing.

The floodgates of grief which were trickling into his soul, since the day Sirius went behind the veil, burst open with full force.

His vision became blurry and he blinked back the tears which were threatening to fall on his cheeks. He took a deep breadth and closed his eyes to calm his nerves. He opened his eyes again.

In that moment:

He felt like, more than a lifetime went by, since he saw Sirius last, falling to the ground behind that flickering veil...

He died and was reborn...

He was taken out from the ever consuming inferno of agony...

He was a free bird soaring through the air...

He was that particle which reached infinity...

He was the embodiment of misery before, but now someone had just set him free...

He was home at last....

His godfather in flesh; breathing, alive, moving... he just wanted to hug him and didn't want to let go.

"Sirius!?" said Harry in a very hoarse voice. His suppressed emotions were making his head pound and his throat ache.

Without saying anything Sirius stood up and came to hug Harry as if he just knew what must have brought Harry to him... at that moment... in that time.

The bear-hug continued for a long time. Harry let the floodgates open at last... He cried for his parents... he cried for his Godfather... he cried for the whole mean life, as it was--a memory flickered past his eyes of a great black shaggy dog rearing on its hind paws to give a pat on Harry's shoulder--it took a while for Harry to get his emotions in check.

After calming down a little, he seated himself on the sofa near Sirius's rocking chair while Sirius surveyed him closely.

"So... by what name you called me in front of strangers?" asked Sirius directly.

This was quite unexpected. Harry thought, What's he playing at? But still he answered, "Snuffles, of course! But why are you asking me this question?" he asked with an agitated voice.

"It is you!" Sirius exclaimed grasping his shoulders.

"I still don't understand--"

"Well, to make long stories short, this diary contains so much information that, if it went into wrong hands, it may ruin a lot of lives including yours. So, I took a leaf from Moody's book and thought to double-check... just in case," said Sirius, again surveying him up and down, but this time with concern.

"This does not look good! Did I die so early!?" Sirius exclaimed very innocently, wiping his brow in frustration. He didn't know that the mention of his death made a dagger's cut, across Harry's heart.

Sirius read the distress filled expression in his eyes and changed stances instantly. "Well, for a start, let me tell you about this diary."

He gestured at something invisible and taking a deep breath, started reminiscently, "When I was still studying at Hogwarts, living a very fun and enjoyable life with my fellow Marauders that is, I thought that these moments will never come back again and I have to somehow capture them for my old age." He guffawed bitterly for his life.

"So I got this enchanted Diary from Florish and Blotts and enhanced its covert qualities by putting some nifty spells on it, some of which were my own invention and made its characteristics like a Pensieve. But there is a catch to it, I'm the only one who could use it to record memories, but anybody can see these memories, if they know the right incantation, which I thought up in my Hogwarts days."

"That figures," said Harry with a feeble smile.

"I brought it up to date when I came back to Grimmauld Place, because I knew then that maybe I'd never see my old flat ever again... I wanted to record my last memory at the house I loved, the house I occupied after moving out of James' house. I wanted to make it special for my future family," he paused for a moment for collecting his thoughts.

"But, it wasn't to be... Dumbledore wanted me to stay... but then you came here and I found my family as well as a part of my lost friend..."

Harry lowered his head to fight back the tears that were threatening to surface. He was not very astonished to find Sirius's eyes misty too.

"If I hadn't been sent to Azkaban, I would have straightened a lot of things for you... I wanted to make up for the things you've lost." His voice broke in emotion.

"But my fate was doomed..." He again paused for a while, musing over something and then continued with a very tired voice, "I have updated the events after I escaped the Dementors, because I didn't want you to find a very disheveled Sirius - telling his family that his best friend was just murdered... because the last time I wrote in it was the night when Voldemort murdered your parents," he rushed through these words in one breath.

Harry was still so dazed by the whole proceedings that these words didn't bother him at all. He had suddenly found happiness by talking to Sirius again... Sirius, from the past, but still, he was his Godfather after all.

A thought fluttered across his mind "Can you come out of the diary, Sirius?"

Harry's expressions were guarded this time. He didn't want to look too happy because if Sirius wanted some memories to come out of the diary, Harry could give it to him and gladly. No matter even if his life depended on it.

Sirius let out a short bark of laughter and said, "No, Harry, I could never; this is just an enhanced memory of me. I never wanted to bug people like Voldemort did. This is no Riddle's diary, Harry." Sirius looked deep in Harry's eyes, like he understood what Harry was actually thinking.

"But I saw you, Sirius! On my sixteenth birthday and I knew it--it couldn't be you, because you went behind the veil..." Harry thought he must have said too much. But from the expression on Sirius's face it looked like he understood him completely.

"Well, maybe you hallucinated? And anyway, I don't want the sordid details of my death, Harry. Tell me in your own time. I don't want to make things difficult for you."

For changing the subject, he started a different tale. "You know this memory belongs to the time when you popped in the fireplace raging like a Banshee about your father, that he was a complete idiot and in that short time I couldn't make you understand, that he had a very kind heart and he never hurt anybody except the Slytherins. Yes, we loved mischief because we were the Marauders after all, and we did despise Snape, but there were good reasons!" He huffed up in anger at the mention of Snape's name. But his expressions changed again as he saw Harry's guarded expression.

"So, how is everything, Harry? To put it mildly," asked Sirius in a very concerned voice.

Now it was Harry's turn to be bitter.

"Well... Voldemort is at it again. Death Eaters have killed three students of Hogwarts and a witch at Platform Nine and Three Quarters. It was for the first time that Hogwarts Express was delayed. The war is coming nearer and I am having strange dreams night after night; in spite of the fact that I am practicing Occlumency everyday."

"Is Snape still teaching you?"

"No," Harry said with a sigh of relief. "Dumbledore is teaching me and he reckons that I should learn Legilimency too."

"He must have good reasons, he always has." There was a touch of bitterness in his voice.

"Do you know about the prophecy, Sirius?" Harry asked.

"Yes, Dumbledore told me, Remus and Arthur about it after the first meeting of the Order. I know you have hard times ahead of you but in my hearts of hearts I know you can pull it through. I myself never believed in prophesying, but half of the prophecy turned out to be true. So, I had to believe.... Anyways, is your scar still hurting?" Sirius inquired, trying to get over the heavier things.

"Yes it is, when I'm having weird dreams." Harry told him about that strange dream in which he saw Voldemort's childhood.

"Maybe you are reading his mind or maybe his and your powers are swapping each other? But I am sure that Dumbledore will see through that." A curious smile spread across his face.

"So, when did you find my diary? Are you ready to tell me?" Sirius asked with as much caution as he could muster.

"You were killed"--Harry took a deep breadth to calm his nerves--"in June. You came to save me from the clutches of Death Eaters because I was stupid enough to believe the visions passed on by Voldemort that you were being tortured in the Department of Mysteries. In reality, he wanted the prophecy and tricked me to get it for him. I endangered my friend's and family's life and paid a very hefty price." Harry sighed and took off his glasses to pinch the bridge of his nose. He didn't want to tell him the details that it was his loathsome cousin Bellatrix who succeeded in finishing him off.

"So, Voldemort knows about the prophecy now?" Sirius shifted in his chair in agitation looking very discouraged.

"No, Neville smashed the prophecy for good and Voldemort failed to get it."

"That was good," Sirius said regaining his composure.

Harry looked reproachful and Sirius got to it again. "I know, Harry! Being dead is not all that great and I can understand how difficult it would have been for you. But you have to channel your anger now. It's not only you he's after anymore; it's the whole wizarding community and the world at large. Because Muggles don't even know that there is an evil and demented wizard with extraordinary powers in their midst," he rationalized.

"I have believed in one thing for my whole life, Harry, and it is that Goodness always wins. And I know that it will be this way, in the end," he said significantly.

"Well, it's getting late for your own good and the time spent here is equal to your actual time... And another thing, Harry; this diary only works when you are alone. So, you can't make your friends see the incidents which are recorded in the diary."

"What exactly is recorded in the diary, Sirius?" asked Harry.

"A lot of things, some incidents from my childhood, my Hogwarts days, duels and battles I had after entering practical life - in a nut shell, mostly all of my adventures. And I know that this will be very interesting for you, because in almost all of them your father was present... You only need to take out the date and tap that page saying the incantation and you'll be transported to that time.

"So, any more questions about the working of the diary?"

"No, nothing. But I can always talk to you, Sirius? Can't I?" asked Harry hopefully.

"I advise you not to, Harry. To dwell in the past is never a healthy hobby," Sirius said with a painful expression on his face.

"I don't want you to mourn me all the time, because then you'll become weak. You have to be strong and get over me as you've done so in case of your parents... I know it takes time, but still..." he continued, "It is very agonizing for me to set restrictions on you, but I have set a limit on this diary. You can only use it once a day and..." he paused to rake his brains, like he was trying to find some sweet combinations of words to break something awful to him.

"You are seeing me here for the last time, Harry," Sirius blurted out in one breath.

"WHAT!!!" Harry shouted in protest but Sirius held up his hand in front of him.

"It was difficult for me too... but I knew it that if this memory persisted, you will visit it day after day and you could never accept my death. And it is true, you have to accept it that I am indeed dead and can't come back."

"This is CRUEL and INHUMAN, Sirius. How could you? Bringing me happiness one second and giving me tons of misery the other! What was the purpose of this diary then? Tell me, Sirius!" Harry bellowed in frustration. It was like he was losing Sirius all over again.

"Please, Harry, try to understand..." Sirius tried to grab his shoulder but Harry beat him to it, and started pacing the room.

"I know you too well, Harry... Please forgive me but I can't go back and undo anything," said Sirius in an emotional voice.

Harry didn't say anything but a lava was erupting inside him, seeping through his body, making him tremble with rage.

"Please, Harry, try to understand! I don't have much time to explain." Sirius followed him and grabbed him to stop his pacing.

"I never had the courage to say the things I am going to tell you now, because I know that there will be no next time." Harry was staring at Sirius's shoes but still was listening to him intently.

"From the day I saw you, you always reminded me of James and to tell you the truth, he was my best friend, my brother and my family. When he died, a part of me died with him and the only thing saving me from losing my sanity at Azkaban was vengeance and a feeble wish to see my godson. I always wanted a son who would follow the footsteps of Marauders and I found my future son in you. You are my family and you will always be... I know that when I died I would have been happy because I would be meeting my brother, my partner in crime. Never mourn me, Harry; there is a reason for everything... I know fate can be cruel but accept the ups and downs of life even though it's not always what you want it to be."

Sirius hugged Harry tight, while Harry breathed over the tears which were crowding his throat.

Sirius's room was dissolving but Harry held unto him.

"Be well, Harry, and take care of yourself," Sirius's fading voice was echoing from somewhere.

"Sirius, NOOOO!"

Sirius was gone with the whirling smoke as the Room of Requirement came blazing back in its full color.

Harry lowered his gaze and looked at the palm of his hands and fell down on his knees clenching his fists. He broke down for the last time, calling out his godfather's name.

-*-

Harry staggered into the common room, all red and puffy eyed, the next morning, because he had spent the night in the Room of Requirement. Ron, who had been waiting for him in the common room, yelped in horror because he thought him to be a zombie.

His meeting with Professor McGonagall was cancelled because of his illness. He suffered from high fever, flu and occasional visits of Migraine for three consecutive days and was put in Madam Pomfrey's care, who kept clucking like a mother hen over his condition.

Dumbledore paid him a visit with Professor McGonagall in tow, but Harry pretended to be asleep.

"Was it wise, Albus? Giving him the diary and reliving Sirius's death?" Professor McGonagall said with a shaky voice. "He looks so frail. It seems as if all the happiness has been sucked out of him."

"Fate can be very cruel sometimes, Minerva, still, if I know correctly... Harry will come through." With these words he stroked Harry's hair affectionately and went out of the hospital wing. Harry slept that day with Dumbledore's voice ringing in his ears ...will come through....

Ron, Hermione and Ginny came to visit him regularly and one day, the whole Gryffindor house including the very timid looking first-years, came to see Harry much to the dismay of Madam Pomfrey whose eyes bulged the size of dinner plates, seeing so many students at once and barked her head off till all of them cleared out of the wing.

He received so many 'Get well' cards that a separate table was placed beside his bed just for accommodating them. In reading them out to Harry, Ginny found a very bizarre card in their midst, which enclosed a single message, written with red ink, in a very unsteady handwriting:

'Harry Potter...... You are M iNE....'

Ginny thought the better of it, and pocketed it for later. Harry has so many problems already; this will have to wait for some other time, she thought.

Mrs. Weasley sent Harry a very long letter instructing him to do a whole two pages worth of 'to-do and not-to-do' things, like:

- Don't go out, you'll get other student's germs.

- Wash your hands before eating.

- Always wear your socks.

- Don't scratch your eyes, you may get conjunctivitis.

- Don't go to the bathroom without your jumper and muffler on.

- Take bath in the hot tub.

- Don't notice the flirtations of the Mermaid Portrait.

- Take the medication on time!

The list went on and on....

Ron mimicked his mother's voice and said, "If you want anything, ask Ron to get it for you. Yes, Harry! I am your servant, at your command. Please tell me, master! What do you want?" Ron playfully bowed very low beside Harry's bed grasping his hand pleadingly, which conjured Harry's first smile in three days, and for his friends this was just grand.

Lupin paid a visit to check on him along with a very worried looking Hagrid, whose entrance dwarfed everything in sight.

"Yeh are alrigh' aren' yeh? I was summat' worried."

Harry was kept on a healthy diet of chocolates, fruits and white meat. He felt almost bloated sometimes but Madam Pomfrey would turn a deaf ear to his pleas. So, when he was discharged finally, he was feeling healthier than an over-stuffed bullfrog.

Harry at last told Ron, Hermione and Ginny about Sirius's diary during one of their chit-chats, and the reason why he showed up so late that Monday.

Their reactions were just as he had predicted.

Hermione's eyes watered and she gave a small squeak. Ginny looked pained and started rocking in her chair worriedly. Ron looked flabbergasted and said, "He came out of the diary? ... Merlin's Beard!!"

~*~