Lily's Charm: The Gift

1996

"It hasn't anything to do with Harry, Severus-"

"You are allowing your friendship to color your perception of the situation."

"How can you expect otherwise, Severus? He's been my friend almost my entire life."

"Including the twelve years he spent in Azkaban?"

"Now, Severus, surely we can have our discussion without resorting to insinuations and insul-"

"Albus, we have very little time for a discussion at all. Lucius' trial begins in three days. Since we have yet to discover what Simon wants from Lucius, I intend to ensure that Black does nothing, however unwittingly, to harm Harry."

Harry had paused on his way down the corridor. It wasn't quite dawn yet, but he'd been awoken from a sound sleep by the voices from the sitting room. His father, Remus and Dumbledore as far as he could tell.

"Severus, he won't make any protests about you-" Remus was saying tiredly.

"Remus, have you spoken to Sirius since he left your office?" Dumbledore interjected.

Remus didn't immediately answer.

"I...flooed to Grimmauld Place late last night; but he wasn't there," he finally said.

Dumbledore chuckled.

"Albus, Miss Ridley could very well be in collusion with Simon," Severus said irritably. "I fail to see the humor in her spending so much time with Black."

"Well, Severus," Dumbledore said, still sounding amused, "it has been rather a long time since Sirius has enjoyed the company of another."

"For Merlin's sake, Albus," Severus objected, his voice heavy with disdain, and perhaps some disgust. And since Harry really didn't want to hear any more hints about Sirius' love life, he rounded the corner and stepped into the sitting room.

"Erm...morning."

The three men turned to Harry in surprise; they were seated around the table next to the fireplace, cups of coffee in front of them. Harry ran a hand self-consciously through his hair, trying to tame the wild thatch as they stared at him.

"Good morning, my boy," Dumbledore greeted with a warm smile. "We were just discussing your trip to Hogsmeade."

"You were?" Harry asked skeptically. Not as far as Harry had heard, they hadn't been.

"Did we wake you?" Severus asked, glancing at the old-fashioned clock on the mantel, which had once belonged to Lily's grandmother. "It is not yet six."

"It's all right," Harry said, giving his dad a bit of a look, to which Severus raised an eyebrow. "Why were you discussing Hogsmeade?" he asked.

"Arrangements, of course," Dumbledore supplied. "It is still much too dangerous for you to venture out on your own-"

"Wait...what do you mean?" Harry interrupted, feeling a vague sense of panic setting in. To his father, he protested, "But you said I could go."

Severus inclined his head. "And so you shall."

"Remus and Nymphadora have agreed to chaperone," Dumbledore added cheerfully. And then while Harry was surprised into silence, he waved his wand in a few complicated arcs; several covered platters appeared on the table. "We may as well have some breakfast while we discuss the particulars," he suggested, still smiling at Harry, apparently ignorant of Harry's consternation.

"I'm not hungry," Harry said impatiently. It was too early for breakfast, but mostly he wanted Dumbledore--or his father--to get on with it. "Is a chaperone really necessary?" asked, turning to his father.

Severus pulled out the chair beside him. "I think perhaps the term chaperone is inaccurate," he replied, giving the chair a pointed look when Harry remained standing.

Grudgingly, Harry sat. "You know," he grumbled, "this feels an awful lot like it did when we were still worried about Voldemort."

"It does indeed, Harry," Dumbledore agreed with a smile, though Harry saw nothing at all to be cheerful about.

"It is unrealistic to expect our lives to return to a pre-Voldemort state so soon after his death," Severus said, passing Harry a glass of pumpkin juice.

"Thanks," Harry murmured. He wrapped his hand around the glass, but didn't drink. "I didn't expect that things would be as if Voldemort never existed. But, all this plotting? And a chaperone?" He grimaced, and then as he realized how that might sound to Remus, he quickly turned to his friend. "I don't mean, because it's you, Remus-"

"It's quite all right, Harry," Remus told him with a smile. "I wouldn't be excited about such an intrusion while on a date either."

"Remus and Tonks will be in Hogsmeade, Harry, near you at all times, but they will not be there to chaperone you in any way," Severus assured him quickly.

"Near us?" Harry echoed; that didn't sound any better.

"We'll be together, on our own 'date,'" Remus explained, with a little wink; trying to make Harry feel better about the whole thing, obviously. "But we'll be nearby, just in case there are any problems."

Harry was about to say he and Ginny would rather stay in the castle, but the look on his father's face stopped him. Severus' face was pinched and he was leaning forward slightly--anxiously. And Harry recalled the many times they'd spoken about how he wanted to be normal; his dad, though it was impossible at the moment, was doing his best to give that to him. So Harry swallowed down his protests, and nodded.

He hoped Ginny wouldn't be too disappointed.

The tense lines of Severus' shoulders and arms relaxed. He settled back in his chair and nodded a little. "Remus has volunteered to escort the students to the village. He will meet Tonks there."

"All right," Harry agreed. He tried a smile, and hoped it came out all right. He turned to Remus. "Thanks, then."

"You won't even realize I'm there," Remus promised. Harry nodded, not really believing him. Feeling like an ungrateful whelp, Harry took a few sips of his juice, as if to seal the pact.

"We will do our best to make certain there are no more threats, as soon as possible," Severus put in quietly.

"I know," Harry said to him, doing his best not to let any of his skepticism bleed through this time. Feeling suddenly more disappointed than he cared to admit, Harry pushed his chair back. "I should get a shower."

Severus pursed his lips, but said nothing. Harry's gut twisted with guilt. He knew he was a being a baby about it; it wasn't his dad's fault that Voldemort's influences reached so far.

"Thank you for fixing it so I could go at all."

Severus inclined his head; the tension had returned to his face. Harry raised his fingers in farewell to both the Headmaster and Remus, knowing that he was being rude, but he didn't trust himself to speak.

Both Remus and Dumbledore said a proper farewell anyway, and Harry trudged to the bathroom feeling like a big bloody baby. The shower helped a bit as the hot water worked the tightness out of own neck and shoulders.

He gave up trying to analyze his feelings though by the time he was padding back down the corridor in only a terry cloth dressing gown and bare feet; he'd forgotten his clothes. The sitting room was empty as he passed by, which he was grateful for.

He sighed as he closed his door. No use whinging on about it. He was used to living on different terms than other kids; this was no different.

Harry was just lacing up his trainers when there was a quiet tap at his door.

"Come in," he invited, tugging on his laces to finish off the knot. He smiled as his father stepped in. He didn't think it had been a completely unconvincing smile, but the look on his father's face said differently.

Harry wanted to tell him not to fret over it, but Severus began speaking, "I do apologize, Harry, that I was unable to find a better solution for your day in Hogsmeade."

Harry straightened up. He hated the look of worry on his father's face. "It's all right," he assured Severus quickly. "It's not your fault people still want me dead."

Severus frowned at Harry's accuracy. But he did not correct him.

"Remus won't intrude," Harry told his father, who still looked rather depressed by the whole situation. "And Ginny won't mind," he added, hoping it was true.

In response, Severus said seriously, "I will do everything I can to ensure that the remainder of the Death Eaters are secured."

"I know," Harry said, but since it couldn't happen soon enough, it was little comfort. He just hoped the day wouldn't be spoiled, even by the mere threat.

--

But Remus, true to his word, stayed out of their way; they hadn't even noticed he and Tonks were around most of the day. And Ginny hadn't minded.

"Tonks looks happy," she said as she and Harry walked hand in hand back toward the castle.

Harry glanced back at Tonks. Her hand was wound through Remus' arm and she was smiling while he said something to her. Remus did seem much more relaxed as well; his face was no longer pinched with anxiety.

"I'm glad," Hermione added fervently. "I was worried they'd never make it up."

Harry had been too, but it seemed they were working through whatever issues had been plaguing them.

"Look, Harry," Ron said, nudging Harry's arm. "It's Sirius."

Harry swiveled his head in the direction Ron was pointing.

Sirius, his head bent low toward Dawn Ridley's blond waves, was laughing as the couple stepped out of the bookstore and into the cobbled street. Dawn looked up. She smiled slowly; her blue eyes brightened.

"Hallo, Harry," she greeted; her greeting had more of a drawl in it than Harry remembered.

Sirius looked up as well. He smiled at Harry, but Harry could easily see the hesitation in his light eyes. "I thought we'd see you here," he said as he and Dawn stopped in front of them. "I was hoping we would when Dawn suggested we come."

"Hi Sirius," Harry said with genuine enthusiasm; he'd been worried about his godfather since Sirius had left Remus' office so abruptly a few days ago. "Hi Miss Ridley," he added, since she was staring at him rather blatantly. She looked startled for a moment, but then she smiled again.

"Just Dawn, Harry," she corrected. She touched Harry's arm with her fingertips. "I would like you to think of me as a friend," she told him.

Harry didn't think that was very likely, but he nodded anyway.

"I am hoping we'll be seeing a lot of one another," Dawn added with a coy smile, as she slid her arm more firmly through Sirius'; Harry saw Remus frown out of the corner of his eye.

"Sure," Harry agreed vaguely.

Sirius smiled at him again, and draped an arm over his shoulders.

"Enjoying your day?" he inquired as he gave his godson's shoulder a quick squeeze. "Remus hasn't given you any trouble, has he?" he asked, with a wink for his friend.

Harry looked over his shoulder to smile at Remus. Remus' arms were hanging taut by his sides now; Tonks' arm was no longer intertwined with his. "Of course I haven't," Remus answered stiffly. Tonks glanced up at him in surprise.

Sirius studied Remus, and Harry watched in fascination as Remus' cheeks flushed. "I suspect you've been too busy with Tonks to be much of an overzealous chaperone, eh, Moony?" Sirius asked with a lopsided smile.

"I take my responsibility to Harry very seriously, Sirius."

That comment, combined with Remus' affronted look, startled even Harry that time, and he was becoming uncomfortably used to Remus' and Sirius' odd behavior with one another of late.

Harry felt Sirius' hand tense a little on his shoulder but when he glanced up, Sirius was shrugging. "I would expect nothing else," he said easily. He looked down at Harry. "I've found a buyer for my parents' home," he said. "Some creepy old bloke who wants everything kept just as it is," he added with a smile.

Harry found himself frowning at that.

"Don't tell me," Sirius said with a feigned look of horror, "you wanted the portrait of my mother?"

Harry chuckled. "No," he said as he shook his head. "It'll be odd to see you anywhere else, that's all."

Sirius nodded thoughtfully, but then he grinned. "I'm going to start building a new house, though. I bought a plot of land...not far from here, actually..." Sirius twisted his neck and pointed off toward a spot that might have been in the same general direction as the Shrieking Shack. "Would you like to help me?"

"Really?" Harry asked. "With magic, you mean?"

"Sure," Ron spoke up. "That's how my parents built our house, you know. It's fun."

Sirius smiled at him. "You can come as well...if your parents agree."

"Brilliant," Ron said excitedly.

"Sounds amazing, Sirius," Harry told his godfather, who looked delighted with Harry's agreement.

"Both of you are welcome as well," he said to the two girls. While Hermione was explaining that she was going to Australia with her parents, Harry felt a strange sensation of cold along the back of his neck--like tiny iced fingers were crawling across his nape. He turned.

But there was nothing behind him. Only Dawn, whose eyes seemed glazed as they met Harry's. She blinked and shook her head a little bit before her lips curved slowly into a smile; Harry stared at her.

"What do you think, Harry?"

The spell was broken, and Harry looked back toward Sirius, who was gazing at him expectantly.

"Erm...about what?"

"Remus suggested you might be able to come during the winter hols sometime. You'd have time. Would...you like to?"

Harry smiled at his godfather. "Of course. It sounds like fun, Sirius."

Sirius grinned at him. Dawn moved closer to his side; her smile looked more natural now. "It will be fun, Harry. You'll see," she said enthusiastically.

The rhythm of Harry's nod was a little off as she continued to gaze at him.

--

Harry stared in surprise as he stepped into the sitting room. Thoughts of Sirius flew from his mind.

He grinned at Severus, who was watching him carefully.

"A Christmas tree!"

"It was supposed to be delivered tomorrow, but Hagrid thought we might like it sooner," Severus explained. "We can decorate it after your friends leave in the morning-"

"We're going to decorate it?" Harry asked, turning around excitedly; he was already inspecting the dark evergreen boughs.

"That is generally what people do with Christmas trees," Remus said from where he was coming in behind Harry.

Harry shot his friend a mock glare; Remus simply looked amused.

"Thank you for escorting him," Severus acknowledged their visitor.

"He insisted," Harry interjected before Remus could respond. "Do you have ornaments?" he asked excitedly, looking expectantly around the room.

Severus looked mildly confused for a moment at Harry's rapid change of topic, before answering with a frown, "We do. Why did he need to insist that he escort you? I thought I had made it clear-"

"You did," Harry interrupted hastily. "But we saw Sirius on the way home--he was with Dawn again."

Severus raised an eyebrow. "Was he?"

"She said she hopes that she and I will be friends," Harry added, shaking his head as he remembered the way she had been clinging to Sirius.

"No doubt, she sees many advantages to a relationship with him," Severus said dryly. Harry frowned at that--true though his father's statement was.

"She seems like she really likes him..." he said, as he looked around the room for some sort of box like the ones the Dursleys had always kept their ornaments in. "I don't think Remus much cares for her though," he added with a smirk for his friend.

"Harry," Remus said in mild exasperation, "you just finished telling me how odd you find her."

"She is odd, Remus," Harry agreed. "And creepy."

"Creepy?" Remus echoed with laugh.

Harry shrugged at his father's inquiring look. "Can't explain it," was all the explanation he had. He just didn't like her. "Sirius bought a plot of land," Harry added cautiously, knowing he probably shouldn't worry about his dad's reaction to Sirius' request, but he did anyway. Severus bobbed his head a little, his guarded look telling him that he knew Harry was leading up to something. "He's going to build the house...he asked me to help, during the holidays sometime."

"And you would like to?" Severus asked; he glanced quickly over to Remus as he did.

Harry switched his gaze between the two furtive men; Remus was nodding hesitantly.

"What?" Harry demanded, not entirely sure why he was irritated by the interplay; it was a normal interaction between the two men by now.

Severus' gaze came back to Harry; his dark eyes swept over his son's frowning countenance. "I would prefer you not be alone with Black," he finally answered; his blunt response surprised Harry momentarily.

"If she's really plotting with Simon," he said with his hands spread wide, "don't you think they would have figured out they'd have better luck if Dawn tried to date you?" At his father's surprise, Harry sighed. "I overheard you talking about it when Remus and Dumbledore were here this morning," he explained.

"You need not skulk around corners in order to be part of a conversation," Severus told him quietly, which made Harry's ears heat. Severus continued when Harry nodded mutely, "I have concerns about Miss Ridley's intentions."

His ears still warm, Harry pointed out, "But once Lucius' trial is over, she won't have any reason to bother with me any longer."

"If Lucius loses his bid for freedom, his lawyer will be even more anxious to fight to overturn the Wizengamot's judgment."

Harry scrunched up his lips as he considered his father. "What are you saying, then?" he asked. "It was one thing when Remus came along to Hogsmeade--we were in a public place, but now you don't want me to visit Sirius by myself?"

There was no hesitation in the Severus' answer. "No. Not as long as he continues to see Miss Ridley socially."

"But he said that he was only going to see her to try to find out information about Lucius and Simon."

"That was his initial intention," Severus agreed.

"But how do you know it still isn't?"

"It isn't, Harry," Remus put in.

Harry wanted to press him, to ask just how he knew it, but he quickly decided he didn't really want to know any specifics. "She might actually like him," he said instead. Neither his father nor Remus looked convinced; hell, Harry wasn't even able to fool himself into believing that. "I can't just not see Sirius though. Not now that it seems like he's trying to be all right with everything." He didn't like the whinging quality in his own tone, but he found it difficult to repress.

"You may see your godfather as often as you wish," Severus told him calmly. "But as long as he is blind to the possibility that Miss Ridley may have an ulterior motive, you will need to be accompanied by either myself or Lupin."

"Sirius won't let anyone hurt me," Harry said tightly, bristling at the continuing talk of chaperones. He had been patient enough today, but this was too much!

"Black is completely oblivious to what men like Bavister Simon can accomplish," Severus returned, seemingly unperturbed.

"I'm sixteen," Harry argued. "I don't need any help to keep Dawn from trying to convince me to help Lucius."

"Whether or not you choose to use your status to help Lucius is your own choice," Severus countered. "If that were my only concern, Harry," Severus continued in a milder tone when Harry found himself frowning at his father's tone, "I would certainly not object so strenuously to any interaction with her."

Harry tried to squelch his irritation, but it did little good. "Why exactly are you so concerned?" he asked. "Even if she tries to convince Sirius to help them take me from you, he won't. And he's not going to just hand me over to Simon, you know."

"Harry, it would simply be foolish to take any risks," Remus tried to interject but Harry shook his head.

"You don't even trust Sirius that much?" he asked. "I don't expect my dad to trust him, but he's your friend."

"Harry, it's not-"

"You didn't trust him once, and he ended up in Azkaban."

Remus' face immediately paled, and Harry shook his head quickly, realizing too late that the words had been unintentionally harsh, and unfair.

"I'm sorry, Remus, I didn't mean-"

"No," Remus said softly. "You're right, of course." He cleared his throat a little. "I do trust him though...it's Dawn I don't trust. And I know Sirius well enough to know that he is quickly affected by someone he shares a bed with."

Harry blanched at that.

"I should change into my teaching robes for the end of term feast," Remus added.

"Remus..."

Remus paused in mid-turn toward the door. "I know, Harry," he said with a thin smile. "I'll see you both at the feast." With that, he opened the door and stepped out into the corridor.

Harry bit his bottom lip as door closed softly behind his friend. "Damn it," he muttered.

"Remus is doing what I asked of him," Severus spoke quietly after a subdued moment.

"You shouldn't ask him to do that to Sirius," Harry said, still facing the door.

"As you and I have discussed on previous occasions, Remus makes his own choices."

Harry turned around again. "How am I supposed to explain to Sirius that I can't see him alone?"

"You may tell him the truth, if you wish."

"I'm not going to tell him that Remus doesn't trust him!"

"I do not trust Black."

"Sirius wouldn't let anything happen to me," Harry insisted.

"Not intentionally," Severus agreed; Harry clenched his jaw as he clamped down on his annoyance.

"Not at all."

The muscles along Severus' jaw flexed. "You will not see him alone," he said tightly.

"It isn't as if he's getting married. What about when Dawn isn't there?"

"No."

There was no hint of compromise in Severus' face.

And Harry didn't even know why he cared enough to want to argue about it. Except that he was tired of being treated like a baby. He knew very well that his father was trying to protect him, and he understood the reasons for it. But he still didn't' like it. And since he liked even less, the realization that this discussion had the potential to become a huge row, he bit back his next retort.

"Ron was hoping for a game of Exploding Snap tonight," he said. "Do you mind if I go up to the tower? I'll just go with the other Gryffindors down to dinner."

Severus frowned. "If you are angry with me, I would prefer we discuss it, rather than you attempting to escape."

Harry glanced away for a second. "I'm not escaping," he said tiredly when he had turned back. "I just don't want to have a row about this."

His father's eyes betrayed his surprise. "I am certain we can have a discussion without it degenerating into a row, Harry."

"No we can't. Not about this." Harry shoved his hands into his trousers' pocket as he studied the evergreen standing next to their fireplace. "I trust Sirius, even if you don't. And I can't agree with you dictating when and how I can see him."

Harry sensed, more than saw, his father stiffen since he was still studying the tree.

"I am not dictating-"

Harry sighed. See? he wanted to say, but on the whole it seemed a bad idea. "Can I go now?"

"I believe you are well aware that you do not need my permission to see your friends."

The clipped, and slightly sarcastic remark made Harry hesitate, but the row would be inevitable if he didn't leave. So with irritation making his ears buzz, Harry stepped into the Floo with a pinch of powder and called out, "Gryffindor Tower, Hogwarts!"

--

Severus stopped pacing as his Floo flared to life. Harry's cheeks were flushed as he stepped onto the hearth rug. He looked away as soon as his caught Severus' eye; his storm was radiating guilt. Severus' relief quickly turned to irritation.

"It is after curfew." The rebuke came out more harshly than he had intended.

Harry glanced at him swiftly. He looked away just as quickly, and nodded as he undid the clasp on his robes. "I know...sorry," he mumbled into the folds as he hung the robes on the peg near Severus' teaching robes.

When Harry turned around, they regarded one another in silence. Severus watched Harry brush his palms nervously against his trousers. For his own part, Severus was attempting to decide how to uphold his promise to his son. But even as annoyed as he was by Harry's irresponsibility, or perhaps because of his irritation, Severus found the idea of reprimanding his son as unappealing as he always did.

"I was with Ginny," Harry explained when the silence began to overwhelm him. His face flushed scarlet. "We weren't...we...just lost track of time."

Severus studied his son's pinched face. "I would prefer that you tell me when you plan to be away all evening." It was hardly a reprimand of which Severus Snape was worthy, but it was the best he could do under the circumstances.

Harry scrubbed a hand over his eyes. "I didn't really plan it..."

The Floo flared again. Minerva's worried face came through the flames. She relaxed when she saw Harry. She glanced at Severus with a smile. "I see your son has been returned to you, Severus."

"Yes," Severus agreed, not looking at all amused. McGonagall simply nodded; she was still smiling as she disappeared back into the flames.

"You called McGonagall?"

"I did not know where you were."

"I didn't mean to worry you," Harry said, his guilt crashing against his storm.

Severus raised an eyebrow at the ridiculous claim. "You thought I would not notice your absence?"

Harry shook his head slowly. "I just didn't want to argue about Sirius..."

"I have no intention of arguing with you about Black," Severus said matter-of-factly, and predictably, his son stiffened. "Harry-" Severus' tone softened considerably. "-I will feel more at ease if I know you are safe."

Harry frowned. "You said you wanted me to have a normal life." Severus winced inwardly. "I shouldn't need a chaperone every time I leave our quarters."

"Once I can be certain there is no longer any threat-" Severus tried to defend his stance.

"And how long will that be, Dad?" Harry demanded quietly. "Neither Bavister Simon nor Lucius is exactly on death's doorstep. And the rest of the Death Eaters and their friends aren't going to volunteer to be Kissed, just to keep me safe."

The accuracy in Harry's words made Severus feel ill.

"I don't want to live the last six years over again, constantly looking over my shoulder for the next threat," Harry continued. "Especially not with my own friends and family."

"I do not want that for you either," Severus told his son wearily, bringing his thumb and forefinger up to massage his temple. "But until we can discover if Simon does have devious plans concerning you, we have no other choice."

Severus watched Harry struggling not to snap at him. When he looked more in control, he said stiffly, "I think you're overreacting."

"I am doing what I think is best."

Harry suddenly narrowed his eyes. "This isn't just about Sirius, is it?"

Severus was both unprepared and hurt by the question. "I have taken no issue with your plans to see your godfather over the holidays. You may spend as much time with him as you wish, as I-"

"This isn't about spending time with Sirius!" Harry finally huffed, obviously having reached his breaking point. "I just don't want a bloody babysitter!"

Severus forced his voice to stay even and controlled. "Remus will not be a babysitter, Harry. He and Black are friends-" He managed to say the word without even curling a lip. "-and he would likely accompany you even without the need for caution."

There was a tense pause as Harry looked away, toward the forlorn tree. "I still think you're worrying over nothing," he said when his green eyes came back to meet Severus', but he looked resigned, and extremely unhappy.

"I do hope I am."

"Yeah," was Harry's gloomy answer.

As Severus switched his gaze from his son's unhappy face to the empty Christmas tree, he decided he would need to have a little chat with Black at the earliest opportunity. If the fool could not see past the pair of perky breasts and honeyed perfume to the serpent lying in wait on his own, then Severus would force him to.