Lily's Charm: The Gift

There was no time for explanations, no time even to think it through. He had to let Harry go.

Severus gathered his boy in his arms, wrapping his arms tightly around him. With one hand, he cradled the dark head against his chest. The faces around him were swathed in shock, but Severus offered no explanation. He simply brushed his fingers once through Harry's mop of black hair, and then, closing his eyes against the rush of bile that assaulted him, Severus found Harry's wisp, still nestled amongst his flames.

Forgive me, Harry, he begged. I will not leave you there, the wavering fingers promised. There was no answer.

As if Harry was already dead.

Pain knifed through him as Severus forced himself to do the only thing he could to save his son. He pushed the wisp away, out of his mind.

Their connection was severed.

From deep within the coma that Voldemort had inflicted, Harry cried out. Even unconscious, Harry could feel his mind being ripped from his father's. And Severus' body convulsed in violent harmony with his son's reaction.

Severus blocked out the pain, to pull Harry closer to his chest, imparting comfort in the only way he could now, and he continued to embrace his son as he quieted again, and then he waited for the rest of Harry's soul to be stolen from him. And while he waited, Severus clutched his son to him, ignoring the grief that was shaking through his chest; tremors that were rocking Harry silently with them.

--

" Voldemort."

Remus, still standing next to a whispering Severus, felt his forehead wrinkling in confusion.

"Voldemort?" Albus questioned from across the bed. "Severus," he said the name gently, as though Severus had snapped mentally, standing there cradling Harry in his arms like an infant. Severus' eyes flashed up to meet the Headmaster's.

"Voldemort has Harry's soul," he said quietly, his voice full of grief. "He is gone."

Remus' skin drained of all its warmth at Severus' pronouncement. Both Poppy and Albus were staring at Severus, their eyes wide with alarm. And then Severus was gathering Harry upward, to hoist him fully into his arms. Harry was still breathing, but his eyes were open, the green staring at nothing.

"Where are you going?" Poppy asked, her voice having gone rather shrill with panic. Severus didn't answer her. And Remus could easily see in her eyes that she believed Severus was about to turn his wand on himself. But he could clearly see that wasn't Severus' intention. He was holding Harry with too much intended protection. He was not ready to let Harry go, no matter that he had just said he was already gone.

Remus, his own voice coming out more strangled than he had expected it might, answered for Severus. "He's going to get Harry back."

And he had no idea how he knew it. Or that he knew that Sirius had something to do with all of this as well. And it didn't matter that he had no idea what Severus was planning to do. It didn't matter that there was likely more danger in this than there had been at Riddle Manor. He had nothing else to live for now.

He would go with his two friends. Where ever they were going to go.

"Severus," Albus said again, his voice sounding almost as panicked as Poppy's had. "Voldemort can't have taken Harry's soul."

Severus gazed at him with empty eyes. "He has though, and I will not let him keep my son."

Albus searched the black eyes, but there was nothing to be found. Severus had left with Harry, just as surely as if both of them were already dead. And so Albus finally nodded, agreeing, without being asked, to give his assistance in a plan Remus knew Albus already understood. Remus looked between them, his heart sinking as he took in Albus' grim expression and Severus' vacant stare.

There was a soft rustling in the far corner of the room. All of them snapped around, except Severus, who pulled Harry into his chest even more before turning to face whoever was intruding.

Albus, with a slight wave of his fingers, said softly, "I am certain Professor Snape won't mind if you wish to come out."

The rustling grew a bit louder, before Harry's invisibility cloak was shushed off; Harry's friends were revealed beneath its silver folds. All three wore identical expressions of defiance--all daring any one of the adults to eject them from the room. "We're going with Harry," Ron spoke first, his blue eyes fiercely determined. Hermione nodded beside him, while Ginny seemed only able to stare at the boy across the room. Remus was certain her hands were trembling.

Albus didn't look amused as he contradicted, "It will be too dangerous, and you don't know where we're going."

The three Gryffindors shook their heads. "It doesn't matter," Hermione told him firmly. Her eyes strayed to Harry, lying limply in his father's arms. Her eyes filled with tears. "We should have known something was wrong with him," she said quietly.

"The fault is mine."

Severus' knuckles were white as his fingers curled into Harry's knees. No one responded. His eyes were too dark. He had taken on the mantle of blame too firmly. But Remus knew he shared some of that blame. How could he have missed that something was so clearly wrong with Harry? All of them had reacted to Harry's attitude with anger and hurt. All of them had failed him miserably.

"You may come," Severus finally said into the silence. Albus frowned, shaking his head a little. Severus didn't seem to notice. Albus sighed quietly, sounding defeated.

"Ginny may come." Ron and Hermione immediately looked ready to argue, but Albus simply shook his head. "We will leave with the light," he told Ginny. And still, Remus had no idea where they were going to go.

--

Remus straightened his black traveling cloak, running a finger over the Gryffindor crest, while he waited for Albus to finish his conversation with the tiny house-elf who had greeted them as soon as they'd Flooed in.

"The Minister and Master Simon are anxious to see Harry Potter," Trolley said as she bobbed her head up and down. "Trolley is to escort you to the Minister's office."

"Thank you, Trolley," Albus said with a smile. Albus gestured for Remus to follow as Trolley led the way. The large foyer was crowded and Remus was beginning to feel more than a little uncomfortable with all the stares. Grown witches and wizards had been nudging one another and pointing since he'd stepped out of the fireplace.

"It's Harry Potter!"

"Harry Potter?"

"It's Snape now...haven't you heard? That Death Eater is his father..."

"Death Eater? That poor child..."

Remus bristled, his anger brewing on behalf of Severus, who wouldn't be able to not hear the insulting chatter.

The house-elf's little head was lifted at a proud angle as they finished their walk through the grand foyer and then they were making their way at a faster pace down the glossy black and white corridors. There were less gawkers now as they moved past numerous doors. Every third of fourth door, Albus asked the elf questions about the contents of the room beyond.

And then they were coming up to their destination. Remus felt a funny swoop in the bottom of his gut as he remembered the last time he'd been here. Sirius had been alive...and Tonks had still wanted him.

He swallowed quickly, stilling the rough moisture that wanted to gather in his eyes. They had stopped. Remus turned his attention back to Albus.

"And what is this room?" he was asking the diligent elf, with wide, interested eyes. The elf was bouncing up and down on the balls of his feet. Before he could answer, Albus waved his hand unobtrusively in front of Trolley's face. The elf's eyes glazed over. "Harry and I have to return to Hogwarts. There is an emergency. I will contact Rufus this evening to reschedule," Albus told the elf in a soft, swaying voice. Trolley nodded, his face beaming with a beatific smile, and then Remus and Albus watched as the congenial servant turned and padded away down the hall.

Albus, wasting not a second, had the door open quickly; he ushered Remus in ahead of him. The door stayed open longer than would be necessary for two people to hurry through, but finally the door was closed again. Beckoning Remus with a silent finger, Albus found the one he wanted among the circle of closed doors, and pushed it swiftly open.

Remus stared at the stone archway as the door clicked closed behind them. He hadn't expected it to hurt so much. To see the thing that had taken Sirius. He felt a moment's pang that if this worked, Harry would have to see it as well.

"Lay him down, Severus."

Remus turned to see Poppy, fully visible now, directing Severus to a patch of stone floor in front of the fluttering Veil. Severus, moving with soft movements, put his son gently down where Poppy indicated. Pulling off his outer robe, Severus folded it into a neat square and lifted Harry's head just enough to slide it underneath. Despite the weight bearing down on all of them, Remus found himself smiling as he watched. He swallowed against the grain in his throat as Severus brushed Harry's hair away from his forehead, exposing the scar--faded now against his skin.

"I will return," Severus murmured, his fingers still held against the black hair so like his own, likely not aware that the others were watching them intently. And then Severus was standing abruptly, and Remus could see his face shifting to hide everything he was feeling.

Another dull stab to Remus' chest. Too many friends could be lost in this room.

The spell broken, everyone else began to move. Albus handed Remus a counter potion for the Polyjuice. Remus drank it down in one quick gulp, grimacing as his body waved back into its own shape.

Poppy nodded in approval at him before kneeling carefully next to Harry's head so that she could closely monitor her Life Charm. Harry was still alive of course, but none of them, not even Albus could predict how long he could stay that way without his pilfered soul. Ginny was kneeling on the other side of Harry's head.

Severus watched only long enough to see her take Harry's hand tenderly in her own and bring it to rest patiently in her lap. He turned away, toward the beckoning Veil.

Remus didn't miss the glaze of tears in the obsidian orbs. Without a thought, Remus stepped up to him, and laid a hand on his arm. Severus didn't move, though his chest filled with a deeply drawn breath. They watched the Veil together; it was calling them.

"Are you ready?"

Remus nodded, taking Severus' silence as it was meant. Albus stepped close to them, his wand moving in an intricate pattern, very like the time at the Cottage when he'd bound Harry and Severus together. This was different though. He was binding them to this world, to the realm where Albus would stand firmly, ready to bring them back again if they should lose themselves to whatever lay beyond that curtain.

Albus' wand finally stopped its invisible tracing. Before he could give them any warnings, Severus turned abruptly to Remus. "I am not coming back without him," he said, his voice ringing again in its rich velvet. Remus, with all his heart, wanted to protest. Wanted to tell Severus that there were reasons to live...even if Harry-

Remus forced himself to march down all his protests. There was no other choice. Not like before. Harry was gone, and if they couldn't get him back, Severus had no reason to go on. So he nodded, refusing to give into his tears of grief at the thought of losing both of the men he considered family now.

Severus was looking at him, his jaw quivering so slightly that the movements might have simply been a trick of the dim light. His eyes flicked once more to Harry's still form. The quiver became more pronounced before he stepped toward the Veil. Remus spared a last look at his young friend, his chest leaden with hurt, and then he moved in time with Severus' sure steps. No one said a word as they watched the two men stepping blithely into the unknown.

--

"Black?" Severus' lip curled in disgust at his wife's suggestion.

Lily, glancing up from feeding Harry, frowned a little, but it wasn't in anger. She was concerned about his harsh reaction--knee jerk. He loathed the man. Had despised him since they were boys. It had been Black. He had always been his tormentor. It had taken Severus years to realize that James had been a follower.

Where most saw a leader of the quartet of Marauders, Severus could see James--Potter back then--doing whatever it took to impress the swaggering Black. And that often meant the thorough torment of a scrawny, frightened, socially-backward boy. And Severus would never stop hating Black for his crimes.

"It's who James would choose. They'll all expect it," Lily was saying softly and Severus scraped the anger and bitterness from his expression at his wife's worried look.

Voldemort was getting stronger and Lily was just as aware as he was of the power the dark wizard wielded over his followers. Severus, of course, had seen it with his own eyes. Vomited through days worth of meals after the first time he'd seen a Death Eater tortured to the brink of death, and then brought back again for more.

And Harry, little Harry, Severus reveled as he stared down at his newborn son, would not be caught in the war that raged around him. But Severus needed more time before they could activate the Charm. Time for Lily to recover--time for him to convince himself again that they were doing the right thing. That meant there could be no suspicions. Least of all from Black, a man who hated Severus even more than Severus hated him in return.

Black would likely meet Voldemort in person just to deliver news of the treachery of one of his trusted.

"Sev?"

Severus focused on Lily's soft voice, vibrating with concern as her husband lost himself to his musings. Harry had finished his feeding. His eyes were blinking slowly as they met daylight again; his sated expression was fuzzy as his tiny fist found its way to his mouth.

Severus reached down to take his son as Lily re-adjusted her clothes. He brushed his thumb gently against the drop of milk that had dribbled down from Harry's mouth. He was too young to smile. Severus knew this logically, but he imagined Harry's mouth curved around his chewed fist as he gazed up at him.

This was what he was protecting.

He would do anything to keep his son safe--including naming his enemy as godfather. It was just a gesture, Severus told himself firmly as he ran his fingers down Harry's cheek. A useless tradition. Harry was his, no matter who was listed as godfather on a piece of parchment. The man behind the title would mean nothing to his son.

--

Severus tried to right himself inside the space that wasn't there.

Memories swirled unbidden to this mind. Memories of Harry. Lily. James.

And Black.

Black's image dominated memories where he should not have been allowed to enter. He was there as he and Lily were bound in marriage...there again as Lily pushed Harry into the world...by his side as James challenged him to a re-match of Wizard's Chess.

His mouth was still moving with words that Severus couldn't decipher, and he looked as angry as he had in Harry's haunted dreams. And darkness spun through the memories as well. Faces that had been lost to death long ago.

His father, Tobias, still attempting to find Severus' mottled legs with his belt, even in death. Muggles, who Severus had watched writhing in their last minutes of life, watched him now with betrayal. Death Eaters who had called him comrade, sneered at him. Faces, layered one upon another leered, their features contorting in ways that could not be natural.

Severus shivered as an icy breath ran up his arms.

Space formed around them. Pure darkness.

Remus was next to him, just as he had been as they'd entered the nothing together. And Severus could feel his limbs, attached in the right spots. He felt perfectly whole--and perfectly alive. He could even feel the emptiness where he should have felt the comforting wisp. It ached against his flames, and he knew without hesitation that he would not go back without Harry. No matter what that meant. No matter if it meant he would spend eternity in this black space. He would not live without his son. Not ever again.

"Severus..."

Severus turned slightly toward Remus. But the other man was staring straight ahead, his eyes looking unfocused as he looked at nothing. Nothing that Severus could see.

But then, even as Severus watched, the black seemed to be melting into murk. It was wavering into something darker than gray, the still emptiness seeming to sway in a familiar, measured way. The murk was moving toward them. The swaying reminiscent of footsteps, of legs moving in purposeful, insistent steps.

A body.

The body was forming against the ink. Remus' gasp was harsh as the ink became a man.

"Sirius."

The name was a whispered shout of joy and the single man suddenly became an ecstatic pair as Remus stepped forward to his meet his lost friend in an embrace. A strange feeling coursed through Severus as he watched Remus hugging Black without restraint--with love.

The two men finally tugged themselves apart; Black's face was smeared with a soppy smile. Remus' grin matched perfectly. Remus' expression didn't waver as he turned to face Severus. Black's face, on the other hand, stiffened as he took in the man standing before him.

Severus gazed back at him, his face mired in impassivity. This was a means to get Harry back. Nothing more. This was Black. The man that he distrusted so much that he had named him godfather of his most precious gift. Nothing had changed.

Severus loathed him.

The grey eyes looking back, echoed his hatred.