Lily's Charm

1996

"Harry," Ginny murmured in his ear, her voice deep with pain. Harry gave her a tight, reassuring squeeze before pulling away a little bit to let her know it was going to be all right. He tried to smile; he didn't quite make it.

"Oh, Harry," Hermione breathed from where she was perched on one of the chairs, "there must be something we can do..."

Harry shook his head. "It's all right," he told her shakily, almost believing the lie, but his father had told him there was nothing to fear. And with his dad with him, there wouldn't be. "I'll be with my dad and my mum...Sirius and James as well," he said with a little nod. He turned to his father, seeking more reassurance, but Severus was simply gazing at him, his eyes hooded.

"Stop that!" Remus admonished, his arms finally uncrossing as he flung them out in front of himself, his sudden anger startling Harry. "This is not some adventure the two of you are embarking on, no matter how many times the Headmaster will tell you so," he told them fiercely. He moved closer to Harry. "And Sirius would want you to live, not just give up," he insisted.

"Lupin," Severus began, his voice dull, making Harry glance at him quickly. His father's face was paler than normal as he stared at Remus.

Remus ignored him, gesturing between Harry and Ginny. "This is what you'll be giving up, Harry. How could you want to leave Ginny?" he asked, his voice almost harsh in its conviction and Harry physically recoiled from it, pulling himself into the cushions, his hand tightening in a spasm against Ginny's.

"I...I..." was all he could stutter, feeling tears piercing his eyes. Of course he didn't want to leave Ginny.

Remus turned back to Severus, his eyes blazing. "Harry has to want to live!" Remus told Severus, almost shouting now, his fists pulled down by his sides. "Telling him how splendid it will be to see Sirius again...you've got him so mesmerized by it, he's practically eager to die!"

"You do not understand-" Severus intoned, his words almost muffled, though there was no reason they should be.

Remus was practically vibrating as he glared back at him, seeming not to notice that Severus wasn't even arguing with him. "But you understand it, don't you, Severus?" he returned, almost jeering the words. "That's what this is about, isn't it? You enjoyed it so much the first time that you can't wait to go back. And now you're just going to drag Harry along with you!"

Harry tensed, waiting for an explosion and wondering fleetingly why Dumbledore didn't put a stop to this. And why was Remus being so mean...accusing Severus of being selfish, of all things? But there was no explosion.

The two men only stared at one another. Remus' breathing gradually slowed, his fists relaxing a bit. Several tense minutes passed and then in his soft, familiar voice Remus said quietly, "It's a fight, Severus. You can't let Voldemort win."

Severus simply stared at Remus until Remus' eyes had completely gentled again and a look of sympathy, or perhaps acceptance, washed over his face. And then Remus looked away, his arms flaccid again by his sides.

Severus turned as if in slow motion, his features transforming as he moved; he gazed intently at Harry and Ginny, and Harry was suddenly disoriented. It seemed as though his father was considering what Remus had said. But he had already told him that there wasn't any chance...

But before Harry could make an attempt at speaking, his father turned again, this time so that he was facing Dumbledore. "We will need to make some enhancements to the Charm," he said, the way it was delivered, making it just short of an order. Dumbledore simply nodded, seeming to find nothing odd in being given orders by his Potions Master.

The fog over Harry's brain dissipated a bit. "Why?" he asked, complete confused. Severus studied him, and the fog began to close in on Harry once more.

Placing his hand over the one of Harry's that wasn't occupied by Ginny's, Severus explained that if Harry was the caster, they would need to strengthen his mum's Charm and Harry wondered if he had forgotten that they weren't alone in the sitting room. There was no other way to explain the nearly melodic voice his dad was speaking to him with.

Severus went on to explain how they might be able to use the Horcruxes, if they could find them, to help them in their bid to extract themselves from Voldemort and though he was focused on what his father was saying, Harry could practically hear the cogs in Hermione's brain whirring. The library would become a second home to all of his friends by morning, he knew.

Surprisingly, these revelations didn't make Harry either apprehensive or hopeful. They just were. "But we don't even know if I'm the caster," he finally put in when his father had finished his explanations.

"It will become our priority to determine if you are," Severus said solemnly. Both he and Harry turned when Dumbledore cleared his throat delicately. Severus was scowling at the headmaster's interruption.

"I conferred with Filius and we believe we have a way to test the Charm," Albus disclosed, surprising Severus. The headmaster had not mentioned any plans to speak to the Charms Professor, though in retrospect it seemed the logical step. "We'll know for certain whether or not Harry took Lily's place," Albus continued, "and as there is little point in making further plans without knowing, we can proceed as soon as you're ready." There was no twinkle in the old man's eyes, nothing to demonstrate how he felt about the outcome either way.

"What is required?" Severus asked. Albus glanced at Lupin, who was nodding. Severus narrowed his eyes in annoyance that the two had obviously been plotting. Lupin was returning his gaze, most warily it seemed. Albus pretended not to notice the underlying tension between them.

"I will use a similarly versed incantation, almost identical to the one we originally used, while you and Harry mimic what happened between yourself and Lily."

Severus was already nodding. "An identical reaction?" He relaxed when the headmaster nodded his affirmation. Severus glanced over at Harry. Harry nodded, though he looked vaguely nervous.

There will be no discomfort, the flame pushed out, warming for Harry. Harry blinked at him, surprise shining out from his eyes. He shook his head slightly. Severus cocked his head to the side a bit. What is it? the flame inquired, flickering a little with its concern.

I'm all right, the wisp assured him quietly and after a short pause, Severus nodded and returned his attention to the Headmaster.

"Would you prefer to do this privately?" Albus asked and Severus felt brief surprise, followed by relief that finally, Albus was deferring to him in that which concerned Harry. It seemed his message had finally penetrated the Headmaster's perpetually deaf ears. Instead of answering Albus' query, Severus turned to Harry.

"Harry? Would you prefer that your friends remain?" he inquired, his tone indicating that either a positive or negative response would be acceptable. But Harry only shrugged and out of the corner of his eye, Severus could see Weasley tensing at the non-committal answer. He wasn't certain of the reasons for his son's indecision but as the three Gryffindors already knew about the Charm, there was no reason to make them leave. He turned to address Harry's friends.

"You will not repeat anything you see or hear," Severus ordered them. All three nodded without hesitation and Severus did not doubt them. He nodded in acceptance of their promise before turning to Harry. "You will need to use the same Latin your mother used," he informed his son.

Harry nodded, seeming more self-assured now. "What do I need to do?"

Severus carefully removed his robes before gesturing for Harry to stand. He sent his robes over to settle on the hook by the door. When Harry was standing, Severus directed him to kneel on the floor. Harry released Ginny's hand, reluctantly it seemed, and knelt on the floor in front of the Floo. Severus joined him, positioning himself across from his son as he had his wife, almost two decades past.

And realizing Harry wouldn't have his wand with him, Severus called out, "Accio Harry's wand." He plucked it from the air as it came to a stop in front of him. He gave it to Harry and quietly explained to him what they would need to do, patiently repeating the string of Latin until Harry was ready.

"Strengthen your shields," Severus directed, "so that your mind is completely occluded."

Harry hesitated. "But what about our connection?" he asked tentatively.

"I will bury your shield beneath my own," Severus assured him; Harry nodded after only a quick hesitation. Severus could sense the density of the wisp among his flames dissipating a bit, until there was only the barest hint of his son's presence in his mind. Though the loss was only vaguely perceptible, the sudden pain it brought was palpable. Harry sucked in a breath, and Severus berated himself for failing to warn his son.

"I should have warned you," he apologized immediately, ignoring his own echoing pain. Harry shook his head, his green eyes dark now. Persuading his flames to fade slowly so as not to sharpen his son's pain any more than was necessary, Severus nestled the wisp amongst the flames, holding Harry's gaze while he proceeded.

Once the piece was protected, Severus checked, "Are you all right?"

Harry nodded.

Severus narrowed his eyes, studying him briefly until he was satisfied that Harry was telling the truth. With deliberate movements, refusing to concern himself with the extraneous bodies in the room, Severus folded his sleeve up over his left arm, exposing the Mark. He looked up quickly, uncertain what reaction he was expecting from his son, but he was unprepared nonetheless as Harry's fingers found their way to the Mark, their tips grazing over the skull, as though in a caress.

Harry's fingers seemed to have their own mind as they reached out toward the tattoo that marred his father's pale skin. It was ugly...repulsive really, and yet he was drawn to it, captivated by it. He trailed the pads of his fingers over the taunting skull. The symbol of how much his father loved his mum. It was haunting in its beauty.

Harry's eyes darted up.

His father was watching him, perfectly still and Harry had the uncomfortable feeling that he was awaiting judgment. But what was there to judge? For all that had come from it, everything Severus had done since he'd met his mother had been for love. Just as love drove everything Severus did now.

And though Harry was certain that he wouldn't be able to smile again during whatever time they had left, he did it now, attempting to convey what he was feeling. And after just a second, there was muted warmth in the dark eyes before him.

"When you are ready," his father broke the silence, his voice not quite as smooth as it had been a moment before. Harry pulled his fingers from Voldemort's blemish.

"Impentribiilus Morsmordre, right?" he asked, waving his wand unconsciously as he said it. His father nodded. Harry drew in a deep breath, not quite sure why he felt queasy all of a sudden.

"Hold my wrist with your other hand," Severus directed; Harry took his father's wrist. He brought the tip of his wand forward and pressed it directly on the Mark, somehow needing to be as gentle as he could. He repeated the incantation. His stomach tightened as his father's baritone joined in, "...Anima Evictum Morsmordre, Tom Marvolo Riddle...Anima Expulsum..."

Harry was winding his wand along the length of his father's arm, demanding over and over that Voldemort's soul bind with the Dark Mark.

To banish Voldemort soul.

Harry shivered, the intense feeling of anxiety increasing as a faint bluish haze seemed to rise up over his father's arm. Harry paused, asking silently if he should continue; his father nodded. Harry commanded, "Ostendo Mihi," Severus seemed to be holding his breath. He let it out as they exhaled together, "Anima Expulsum."

The blue mist hovered, as though it was trying to make up its mind and then slowly, so slowly, they watched as the blue pulsed. It began spreading over Severus' arm and then trickling, spiraling up Harry's wand until the arms of father and son were glowing with twin hazes, the two of them joined together.

And then Harry thought he could see his mother, kneeling across from him, her green eyes bright with excitement and he was sick with worry, but just as quickly, both the image and feeling disappeared, leaving him feeling slightly disoriented. His father shook his head, the movement brisk and then his features stilled again. Harry released a breath as the blue melted into their flesh.

"It worked?" he asked after a short silence, though it was obvious it had. Severus nodded anyway.

"We will be able to activate the Charm," he confirmed. Harry shivered. He immediately felt his father's flame again and Harry released his tight hold on his own shields. The familiar contact with his father rushed over him, easing his tension; he wondered what it would be like to lose their connection permanently.

Harry watched as his father hid the Mark again. They stood up together, both of them turning slightly to face the room. He was surprised to find all of them, even Dumbledore, with their eyes wide, staring at them. And as though a cool breeze had gentled over him, the hairs on the back of Harry's neck stood up.

"What's wrong?" he asked, narrowing his eyes a little.

"You and Snape..." Ron shook his head, his voice full of awe. Harry looked at his friend in bewilderment and quickly turned to his father, who was studying both Remus and Dumbledore with narrowed eyes.

"What did you see?" Harry demanded.

Remus blinked a few times but it was Dumbledore who explained, "A ring of light formed with the final chant, encircling you both." He paused. "Did you not feel it?" he asked, the lines crinkling around his eyes.

Severus turned to Harry, his black eyes considering. "Were you thinking of anything in particular when you ended the chant?" he inquired. Harry furrowed his brow. What had he been thinking of? Voldemort...in the Department of Mysteries...

He answered as much, adding, "But then I was thinking of mum..." He trailed off; his father looked stunned.

"What was your mother wearing?" he asked quickly, the question taking Harry off guard momentarily. It took him a moment as he thought about it, his eyes narrowing slightly as he tried to picture his mum again.

"A green blouse, I think," he finally shrugged, uncertain, not knowing why it should matter. His father stared at him.

"Your connection, Severus," Dumbledore stressed quietly. Severus nodded distractedly, still gazing at Harry.

"You were thinking about mum as well, weren't you?" Harry asked, scrutinizing his father, trying to figure out what it meant. Severus nodded slowly and Harry recognized that he was considering something.

"Harry was reading your thoughts, sir?" Hermione interjected, her voice brighter with renewed curiosity. Severus' gaze roved to Harry's friend, though he seemed not to really see her.

"We buried our connection," Harry told her, "but it was different."

Severus turned to face him again; his eyes were shadowed.

"Maybe re-enacting the casting opened the connection briefly," Hermione suggested. "Though your connection would have to be really strong for that to happen, wouldn't it?"

Harry shrugged. What did it matter if their connection was stronger than they'd thought? But his dad was studying him, the black streaked with uncertainty. "Does it mean something?" Harry asked, not understanding why he was beginning to feel numb, though the feeling increased as he waited for his father to answer and he had the quick thought that it was very strange that Dumbledore hadn't yet jumped in.

"It is possible that the re-enactment strengthened our connection," Severus answered stiffly.

"But if that's true, maybe you'll be strong enough to keep Voldemort from dragging Harry along with him when you activate the Charm," Hermione offered eagerly.

"Perhaps," was as much as Severus would allow. Harry didn't mean to let himself feel hopeful but the feeling came anyway; he quickly squashed it. He could hear Ron murmuring something softly, likely to Hermione. Harry glanced quickly at Ginny; her lips had thinned. She was staring at him, her fingers wound tightly together. The hope returned again and with a furious jab, he thrust the feeling down again. It was too dangerous.

Severus could feel Harry occluding as he gazed at Ginny. An unfamiliar mask slipped over his son's face; Harry turned from her. And though Severus had very little hope for a reprieve for his son, it was painful to watch the first signs of Harry shutting down. And Severus knew he would do it primarily in an attempt to save his friends from pain; the thought hurt Severus immensely.

"Do you have a plan then?"

Severus wanted to close his eyes in a reflexive response to Ms. Granger's continuous questions; she was as irritating as she had always been. But he kept his eyes open and even turned a little so that he was looking at her while he answered, "A tentative one, yes."

"What can we do?"

It was Weasley who asked and though Severus was surprised that the redhead had been brave enough to pose the question, his face gave nothing away. And oddly, he felt regretful as he answered, "There is little assistance any of you can offer." The statement, though it was delivered in a perfectly polite tone, caused Weasley's hands to ball into fists.

"We've been helping Harry for years," he snapped, his face reddening as he spoke. "We've been the only ones helping him," he said pointedly. But Severus was much too preoccupied to find any offense at Weasley's words. He nodded.

"I realize that," he agreed, "and I am, in fact, grateful for everything you've done for my son." Weasley gaped at him. Ms. Granger looked surprised as well. Severus ignored their reactions as he continued, "However, we will need to bring Voldemort to us in order to activate the Charm-"

"I don't want you anywhere nearby," Harry interrupted, the conviction sounding odd in his newly-indifferent tones. His friends turned to look at him. Harry averted his eyes. "The only thing you can do to help is to make sure you're all safe. Everyone else as well," he added.

"But, Harry," Weasley tried to counter.

"No, Ron," Harry insisted, his voice taking on a hard edge, "nobody else needs to die." And instead of gaping at Harry like the idiot Severus has always thought him to be, Weasley pushed himself to his feet, his face going red once more.

"You don't have to die either!" he shouted. Harry narrowed his eyes, but Weasley didn't let him speak, his face twisting into a scowl. "Didn't you hear Hermione? There's a chance. Even your dad said it was possible." He jabbed an accusing finger at Severus. Harry just shrugged though, not looking at all affected by his friend's passion; his indifference made Severus feel uneasy.

"Either way Ron, there's no reason for any of you to be anywhere near Voldemort," Harry said easily.

"But maybe we can help in another way," Ms. Granger cut Weasley off before he could argue any further with Harry. "There might be other similar instances that I could research," she told him. Harry shrugged again.

"Sure, Hermione," he agreed though it was painfully obvious to Severus that Harry only wanted to give her something to do as a distraction. Ms. Granger, however, didn't seem to recognize the ploy; she nodded eagerly, smiling a little. It seemed to appease Weasley as well; he had stopped glaring at Harry. He turned again to Severus, seeming to forget that he and the Potions Master didn't get along.

"Are you and Harry going to look for more of these Horcruxes?" he asked swiftly.

"Yes." Severus didn't miss the way his son turned to him in surprise.

Weasley nodded, apparently missing Harry's reaction. "If you tell us whatever information you know about where they are, we can help with that as well," he volunteered. He shrugged, looking a bit sheepish. "Well, it'll probably be mostly Hermione but maybe Ginny and I can help a bit as well."

Though it was hardly likely that mere students would be able to tell them anything they didn't already know, Severus accepted the offer. These were Harry's friends; he was well aware they would not slip easily into the background. Not while even the most insignificant chance remained.

Ms. Granger stood up, still nodding. "We should get to bed then, Harry. We'll need to spend as much time as possible on this and we need to be alert in order to do that." Unsurprisingly, Harry nodded as well. He almost seemed relieved, though Severus felt the tremble of slight grief as Ginny stood, and then the grief was gone again.

"You'll be in class tomorrow, right, mate?" Weasley asked, sounding almost as carefree as he always did. Classic denial, Severus knew. A glint of sadness winked across Harry's green eyes; he would recognize the signs of denial as well.

"Yeah," Harry answered, the lie completely unconvincing to Severus' ears. Weasley nodded though. Ms. Granger as well.

"You can come to the library with us, Harry," Ms. Granger told him and Harry shrugged again. As though Ginny had figured out that Harry was simply trying to placate the others, she stepped toward him. He tensed.

"Harry," she began, her voice commanding, even in a whisper, "Professor Lupin and Ron are right." She took his hands. "You can't give up." She turned to Severus, narrowing her eyes a bit, adding, "Either of you."

Severus had no response. What could he say, save the bitterest kind of lie? He watched, mourning in silence while Harry swallowed.

"I don't want to." The words were barely audible to most everyone in the room, though Severus heard him easily.

"Then don't," Ginny demanded of Harry, and Severus was tempted to close his mind to the sudden, faint glimmer of will from his son. Loathe though he was to admit it, Lupin and Weasley were right. Harry would need to fight, even if their destiny lay only beyond the veil without Voldemort.

"Ginny is correct," Severus put in, his voice as soft as his son's. He knew every pair of eyes was on him, but he spared not one of them a glance, save Harry. Harry stared at him, his emerald eyes mirroring Lily's in that moment, more than they ever had.

"But you said," Harry began; Severus shook his head.

"There are no certainties, but if you do not wish to give up, fighting is your only choice."

Harry was silent, still holding Ginny's hands as he gazed at Severus.

"With both of you against Voldemort," Ms. Granger jumped in, "you'll have the advantage." Weasley nodded and even Lupin's face was taking on an eager hue, though surely he should have realized it wasn't as simplistic as numerical probability.

"There must be a way to make your connection even stronger," Lupin added to the optimism brewing in the room. Harry still hadn't said a word, though he stirred a little with Lupin's addition.

"Is there, Professor?" Ginny directed the question to Albus, perhaps sensing that Severus couldn't have answered. Albus glanced at Severus, who gave him no indication of how he wished him to proceed.

"I believe there is a certain charm that may serve, though I will need to refine it for this specific purpose," Albus admitted slowly, nodding only a little, as though attempting not to encourage them more than was necessary. Remarkably, the children and Lupin only shared reserved nods at Albus' words, though Severus could feel Harry's renewed hope.

"Whatever I can do to help, Albus," Lupin put in and Albus accepted with a nod.

"It would be wise to call a meeting of the Order tomorrow night," he added to Severus.

"Harry and I will attend," Severus agreed, a bit reluctantly as he knew this would be a difficult meeting for his son.

"May we go as well, sir?" Ms. Granger asked, and both Weasley and Ginny looked at Albus expectantly. Sensibly, he shook his head.

"Your parents wouldn't allow it, I'm afraid," he told them gently and all three of them deflated. "Your parents would likely prefer that the three of you be in your beds at this hour as well," he told them, smiling a little. "Will you need more Floo Powder?" he asked kindly. Ginny pulled Harry's box from her pocket.

Albus stood with a flourish of color.

"Harry, we'll see you tomorrow," Ms. Granger reminded Harry as she took some of the Powder. Harry didn't even respond; he was staring at Ginny.

Tomorrow?

When his friends had tumbled out of the Floo, Harry hadn't had plans to see any of them tomorrow. Perhaps he was even hoping to avoid any contact altogether. And of course, going to classes would be pointless if he wasn't going to live long enough to put his Hogwarts education to any real use. But staring at Ginny, that phantom hope surged forth again and Harry wished he didn't have to stop it. He wanted to come back to her.

"We'll find a way," she was promising now as she hugged him. There were myriad emotions swirling through Harry as he hesitantly returned her embrace. Ginny hugged him tighter in response and as she did, Harry allowed the hope to fill him; it helped more than it should.

"We will, Harry," Ron encouraged from behind Ginny as she stepped out of Harry's arms. He tried to smile, and even though he failed miserably, his mate still patted him on the shoulder. He knew none of them would give up. That was comforting as well.

"You common room is empty," Dumbledore announced to Harry's friends, waving his fingers toward the fireplace, directing them to take their leave. And Harry felt relieved that they were going. He didn't really want them to leave, but at least with his father, he wouldn't have to pretend.

He watched as they were whisked away, his heart aching in his chest. And then Remus was standing in front of him, squeezing his shoulder gently. "We'll do everything we can, Harry," he promised solemnly. Harry nodded, not sure if he believed it would be enough, the 'everything' that they would all do. He glanced over at his father, wondering if he believed it. But Harry was certain his father was occluding, at least more than he usually did; he could feel his steady presence but nothing more.

Remus turned to Severus and Harry remembered the two of them seemed to have been at odds earlier, and strangely, it was Remus who had been the angrier of the two. "Severus, I didn't know how else to get through to you." To Harry, the words sounded like a plea. Harry watched as his father's lips pressed together.

Severus' eyes slid toward Harry and then back again to Remus. "You were concerned about Harry." The words were stilted; Harry could hear an odd underlying anger in the words. Remus' eyes flashed briefly, his own anger returning it seemed, but his face was perfectly relaxed.

"I was concerned about both of you," he corrected in a firm voice. And when Severus didn't answer, he continued, "And I will do whatever we need to do to find a solution."

"Except maintain a confidence," Severus amended coolly. Remus narrowed his eyes, making Harry feel extremely nervous at this new interplay between his friend and his father.

"When that confidence includes both of you losing the will to live, yes," Remus returned evenly.

"Neither of us has lost the will to live, Lupin," Severus scathed, his own eyes narrowing into slits. "We, however, do not live in a fantasy. We must be prepared-"

Remus cut him off with a sharp swipe of his hand. "Of course we know the possibilities, Severus," he shot back. "And yes we should all be prepared for the worst, but Harry doesn't need to believe that death is the only option."

Harry stood next to his father, his hands quivering slightly together, where somehow they had found themselves while his dad and Remus exchanged barbs. He watched as his father's eyes slid closed and Harry didn't need their connection to read the anguish on his face. "No...he does not," he breathed after a moment. Harry's heart began to beat a little faster. Did that mean he thought there was a chance? Even with the prophecy...

Dumbledore cleared his throat. Harry turned to him, thoughts of Trelawney's prophecy vanishing at the older man's wistful look. Severus' eyes opened again and he and Remus seemed to be avoiding one another's eyes. Dumbledore, perhaps noticing this, suggested he and Remus be going. Remus nodded, giving Harry a small smile. Glancing once more at Severus' stony face, he called for his quarters and was gone. The abrupt exit jarred against Harry's nerves.

Dumbledore paused on his way to the Floo, his eyes lighting as though he had just remembered something. He reached into his pocket, bringing forth a scroll of parchment, neatly secured with a subdued cream ribbon. He held it out to Severus. "You'll need this," he said with a little nod, his eyes a simple, sedate blue. Severus accepted the scroll without a word. Dumbledore studied him for a moment longer before turning to Harry. "Good night, Harry."

Harry nodded in response, his eyes glued to Severus' still form. The headmaster turned. Before the Floo had even finished taking Dumbledore away, Severus turned to Harry. "Are you all right?"

Harry didn't answer right away. The only thing he could think of was his father's final words to Remus. "You think it might work?" he finally asked quietly, looking off to a spot on Severus' left.

"The Horcruxes will likely be the key to separating us from Voldemort," Severus said with a nod, but Harry shook his head only the tiniest bit.

"That's not what I meant..." he explained softly, bringing his focus back to his dad, "...do you think we'll be stronger than Voldemort?"